A Down Home Welcome to Our New Friends.

breakwall

CANDU Reactor™
Joined
Feb 7, 2003
Posts
47,009
http://www.moviestar-photos.com/graphics/169/169364.jpg

Hi folks, Rich Henderson here and I'd like to extend a welcoming hand to our new friends coming to the forum for the first time.

You're probably here because you are over-sexed. Hey, relax. We all are. In fact, I'm masturbating right now.


If you haven't had a chance to look around the Literotica Forums at large, you may just want to peek around a bit. I suggest the Playground and the Personals section for fun and light-hearted flirting, and the Amateur Pictures section for those of you inclined to more visual stimulation. There is something over there for everyone. If you're thing is nubile college girls or droopy-skinned ladies of the Golden Girls set, you'll find it there. Perhaps you enjoy pasty-skinned flabby men with startling body-hair patterns. If so, you are in luck. It's a veritable smorgasbord of flesh and fantasy, and there's a dish just right for you.



Of course, you're already here in the General Board, so let me just say, Hi and Welcome.



A quick check of the FAQs and a few tentative posts and you may find yourself swept up in the fascinating world of what we call the "GB".

However, the task of getting started can be quite daunting. Many a poster has started a "Hi I'm New" thread only to be inundated with catcalls, derision and sudden and urgent demands to "show your tits". Don't be afraid, don't be offended.



Imagine the GB is like a tribe in Papua/New Guinea. In order to begin communication with the tribes people, you need to start getting a grasp on their culture, their language and their rituals. The best way to do this is to be patient, to observe and to participate where and when you feel comfortable. And much like a tribe from Papua/New Guinea, you may still end up getting eaten alive.



My advice is to stick with it. Oh sure, you're going to be called a Newbie, a n00b or even Fresh Meat. Don't let that bother you. And don't be shy. Here in the GB, you are judged by a whole different set of parameters. Say you are a bi-sexual dominatrix with a fetish for golden showers and public humiliation. No one will bat an eyelash. However, if they find out you voted for Ralph Nader in the last election, you may find yourself being kindly asked to return to whatever slimy pit of primordial ooze from whence scum like you originate.



And most of all have fun. This is, quite simply, a porn board. Don't be intimidated. The next person who asks you to pee on their backs while they lick your toes just might be your boss. You never know.
 
Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times

Please do not feed ubertroll

And remember to visit our gift store!
 
just pet said:
And spelling counts

indeed.
Please differentiate between the proper usages of their, there and they're.

Hint: MastUrbation, not MastErbation.

Oh, and semen in the eyes stings. Not sure how that's relevant, but it IS worth noting.
 
Don't forget your and you're. And if you use two for to or too we get to laugh at you lots.
 
From 1-30 posts you are a virgin
From 31-? posts you are something else.
From ?-? you are still something else.
From ...

oh fuck it.

You can be whatever you want to be when you get to 1000 posts.

And you get an av at 100 posts.
 
PinkOrchid said:
Until you have at least 1500 posts (earned, not collected on the PG) please don't PM me and ask:

1. If that's me in my av
2. If I will send you pics
3. If you can send me pics
4. If you can fuck my ass
5. If I will fuck your ass

Sweet I need to send you a PM now!
 
This :rolleyes: ©Avery Chisholm emoticon is copyrighted by Avery Chisholm. If you use it.. you must add the "©Avery Chisholm". If you don't.. you will not be allowed to post ever again.
 
breakwall said:
You're av is so hot, you should be allowed to have two.


too?



to?

I still owe you my boobie pics. I haven't forgotten. Well I have.. but not the fact that I owe you.. but I've forgotten where I've hidden the disc where they reside.

:D
 
PinkOrchid said:
Until you have at least 1500 posts (earned, not collected on the PG) please don't PM me and ask:

1. If that's me in my av
2. If I will send you pics
3. If you can send me pics
4. If you can fuck my ass
5. If I will fuck your ass

in the same vein...

~Yes that is me in my av.
~It's a navel, not a bullet hole.
~Those are called "bitchtits" and yes, actually, I AM quite proud of them.
~Although you SAY you are a horny college girl, your screen name, HungGuy1966 is kind of a dead giveaway...
 
freakygurl said:
I still owe you my boobie pics. I haven't forgotten. Well I have.. but not the fact that I owe you.. but I've forgotten where I've hidden the disc where they reside.

:D

I bet you say that to ALL the boys.
 
freakygurl said:
Nope.. you are the only boy I've offered my boobies too.

Wait.. boy? You are over 18.. right? ;)

My alt is HungGuy1970, but I tell everyone my name is Suzette.
 
breakwall said:
My alt is HungGuy1970, but I tell everyone my name is Suzette.
Do you also dress up in a French maid outfit? Suzettes should always be in fishnets carrying a feather duster.
 
Mischka said:
Do you also dress up in a French maid outfit? Suzettes should always be in fishnets carrying a feather duster.

My fuck-me heels get stuck in the subway grates.
 
HeavyStick said:
Jugular artery and carotid vein..... uhuh. Medicine by Ishmael.

I cheated on that test and still flunked.

Maybe I should PM Ishmael for some tutoring...

I agree with Mischka-Fishnets and feather duster. My house needs dusted. Come here Suzette. :)
 
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