A Day in the Life

[Joe Wordsworth]

Gets up, gets dressed, goes to work...

General Manager: Alright, ya'll. Sales are down, so we need to do our job better, I want thirty cars out today--we only did twenty on Saturday.
Group of Managers (me included): Sure, yeah, alright, no problem, great, etc.
General Manager: Now, are you promising me thirty?
Group of Managers (without me): Sure, yeah, alright, no problem, great, etc.
Me: Nope.
General Manager: Why not?
Me: I can't make it rain. Traffic might be slow, its a Monday--Saturday is the highest traffic day and it wasn't thirty. We're not running any unique ads.
General Manager: But we need thirty, so that's just what we gotta do.
Me: O.k.
General Manager: How many are we going to do?
Me: Ten.
General Manager: But we need thirty.
Me: You didn't ask me how many we needed, you asked me how many I thought we were going to do. Honestly, sales have been down for three months--we've never hit the daily goal, so I don't think we're likely to.
General Manager: Well, we need to. Your department needs to get me eight of those today.
Me. O.k.
General Manager: Are you going to do it?
Me: I'll try.
General Manager: That's not what I asked, I said are you going to?
Me: Probably not.
General Manager: Either you will or you won't.
Me: That's a false dichotomy, given that I'm predicting there is an option of "it is possible to and possible not to" and I can't accurately assert I will or won't. Too many variables to be certain.
General Manager: Go to work. Ya'll need to do thirty.
Me: O.k.

Work, work, work, get called in to help a salesperson with a sale...

Salesperson: The customer wants to buy that Tahoe over there, but she only wants to pay $699 a month for it.
Me: So, what's the problem?
Salesperson: I think she can pay more.
Me: And she says she can't?
Salesperson: Yeah. But, she looks like money, I'm sure she can pay more.
Me: *crunches numbers* So, we're making good money on $699 and you want to pump her for more money because you think there's more?
Salesperson: Yeah. I know it. She'll pay $800.
Me: Or, she may only be able to pay $699.
Salesperson: If she says six, she can do eight.
Me: Or, she could be saying six because she can do six--there is the chance, here, that she's being honest.
Salesperson: No there isn't.
Me: There's no chance that she's being honest?
Salesperson: Four out of five of these people can pay more.
Me: So, there's a chance that she's being honest?
Salesperson: No.
Me: Even though one out of five is being honest?
Salesperson: But she's not, so there's no chance.
Me: *signs the paperwork* Take the deal, do the paperwork, move on--sell another car.
Salesperson: *mumbles that I won't listen to logic*

Work, work, work, go outside for a cigarette...

Used Car Manager: How's Internet doing?
Me: Good, got two out today. Used?
Used Car Manager: Three. Shit day.
Me: Yup.
Used Car Manager: You know, I don't see how you do that Internet shit.
Me: Fastest growing segement of car sales.
Used Car Manager: Naw, Naw, I mean, like, go on there and fool around and shit. You ain't a computer geek or nothin'.
Me: How is that relevant?
Used Car Manager: Well, Internet's just a bunch of nerdy kids and all that. Goin' on there and bullshittin'. Wastin' time. Playin' games.
Me: Well, no. There are more demographics to the Internet than that.
Used Car Manager: Everyone I know that fucks around on the Internet is some geeky kid, man. E-mail's alright and checking news, but spending hours and hours on it? Come on, how about meetin' some ladies or something.
Me: There's more to it than that. Politics. Hobbyists. My best friend met his wife online.
Used Car Manager: Whatever, 99% of the Internet is fuckin' thirteen year old losers.
Me: I disagree, I think there's a lot of normal, everyday people on the net--its like a big city, very diverse, all sorts of people.
Used Car Manager: You're saying that most of the Internet is, what? Hot chicks and long-dick boys next door? Please.
Me: That's not what I said. I don't think its all hot chicks and long-dick boys next door, no.
Used Car Manager: Look, it ain't made up of the girl next door and the Prom King... it's all geeks without lives, man.
Me: I disagree.
Used Car Manager: You don't know shit.
Me: Alright. I still disagree.

Work, drive, phone, buddy on the phone...

Buddy: ...so, that's why I think McCain is the best thing for this country.
Me: Because he'll win the war?
Buddy: Yup. Man's a war hero.
Me: I think there's more to what a good President is that the ability to win Iraq, even if I thought it were winnable (which, I'm sorry, but I don't).
Buddy: You don't think we can win in Iraq?
Me: Nope.
Buddy: So, what, you don't support the troops?
Me: Sure I do, I just don't think we can win that war.
Buddy: *five minute tirade about how we should win and need to win and have to win and how the Muslims might come over here and etc.*
Me: But none of that has anything to do with whether we can win or not. My point is that I don't think we can.
Buddy: So, you're voting for Hillary.
Me: No. That's not what I said, either. I said I don't think we can win Iraq.
Buddy: Why not?
Me: *explanation of how we can't afford to wage a long enough war to squelch all dissidents in the region indefinitely, and how we have a historically poor time at guerilla warfare*
Buddy: So, you're a Democrat.
Me: No, I just don't think we can win in Iraq.
Buddy: You don't think its possible for us to win in Iraq?
Me: No, its possible, I just don't think we will.
Buddy: So you admit its possible, but you just said you didn't think we could so you're saying its impossible.
Me: *explains the nature of opinion and fact, and possibility as a function of knowledge and belief*
Buddy: So its technically possible to win.
Me: Yes, and possible we can lose.
Buddy: But we won't lose.
Me: I think we will, it is possible.
Buddy: Its /not/ possible, we have McCain.
Me: He isn't President yet, I'm just saying its possible we will lose--I also think that we will lose.
Buddy: *extensive lecture on McCain's service record*
Me: But that doesn't make it impossible that we will lose, and I gravitate toward thinking we will.
Buddy: How?
Me: *gives basic scenario how we can lose*
Buddy: So, technically we might lose?
Me: Yes.
Buddy: Well, fuck... technically ANYTHING's possible, so what?
Me: So, its a possibility I just believe. And, no, not anything is possible.
Buddy: Yeah-huh. Anything.
Me: Nevermind.

Home, dinner, work, visits, feed animals, call chickie, Internets... web... forums....

UserTed: Obama is the WORST thing that could happen to this country...
UserFred: The county won't fix that road because they hate white people and its a predominantly black county so they just want revenge...
UserDana: Muslims want to kill America...
UserJane: Catholics are all pedophiles...
UserTroy: Bush is a great conservative...
UserJoan: If its true for me, then its true...
UserDan: There's never a good reason to putt down an animal...
UserPaul: Chistianity is the most destructive force on earth...
UserLana: A recession isn't possible...
UserFiona: If you vote blue, you hate America...
UserFrank: If you vote red, you hate America...

*sigh*

PM...?

*click*

Anonymous: I saw what you wrote, and I agree. Thanks for saying it, I don't think I want to get everyone mad at me, though--they don't seem to want anyone disagreeing with them in any way.
Me: Thanks.

Bednaptime.

 

[starrkers]

And people wonder why I'm a hermit.

 

[Luke's Angel]

And people wonder why I'm a hermit.

I don't wonder that. People have gone insane.

 

[Katyusha]

A day in the life...

Logician is a good word for you.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Logician is a good word for you.

Hah... I know. That's what my background is in, and like all things someone has a passion for, it becomes as much a part of your everyday life as your right hand.

EL and I talk a lot, she can attest that when I talk--even every day conversation--its highly regimented and rationally cautious.

 

[Belegon]

Hah... I know. That's what my background is in, and like all things someone has a passion for, it becomes as much a part of your everyday life as your right hand.

EL and I talk a lot, she can attest that when I talk--even every day conversation--its highly regimented and rationally cautious.

Hey, you and I agreed today. That means at least ALMOST anything is possible.

Dude, you know that you're part of the culture here, right? I like discussing things with you.

How fucking boring life would be if we all agreed on everything.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

...part of the culture here....

Hmmm. Never thought about it like that.

 

[Belegon]

Hmmm. Never thought about it like that.

You should.

Say we're determined to show you how wrong you are about something. Even if you sometimes infuriate us, you force us to think about it and present it in a way that is hard to poke holes in and you make us stay consistent in how we present things. Hell, sometimes we even use Logic!

You enrich us. Therefore, you are part of the culture.

It's a compliment, bitch! Accept it.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

You should.

Say we're determined to show you how wrong you are about something. Even if you sometimes infuriate us, you force us to think about it and present it in a way that is hard to poke holes in and you make us stay consistent in how we present things. Hell, sometimes we even use Logic!

You enrich us. Therefore, you are part of the culture.

It's a compliment, bitch! Accept it.

I'm not good at that. Like, never have been. I'll just say "Got it" in a manly way and we'll both know that's me accepting the compliment.

So, I got it.

Alright.

 

[English Lady]

Hah... I know. That's what my background is in, and like all things someone has a passion for, it becomes as much a part of your everyday life as your right hand.

EL and I talk a lot, she can attest that when I talk--even every day conversation--its highly regimented and rationally cautious.

*nods* Yep, I can, he really does think and talk like this, folks allll the time. Well no, he'd tell me off for saying that because I'm not with him alllll the time so I'm only guessing that but a majority of the time i spend with him and observe his interactions with others, then definitely.

(how's that, Joe?)

You should.

Say we're determined to show you how wrong you are about something. Even if you sometimes infuriate us, you force us to think about it and present it in a way that is hard to poke holes in and you make us stay consistent in how we present things. Hell, sometimes we even use Logic!

You enrich us. Therefore, you are part of the culture.

It's a compliment, bitch! Accept it.

I completely agree but then everyone knows I love Joe W.

I do, Joe -you make me smile, lots.

I'm not good at that. Like, never have been. I'll just say "Got it" in a manly way and we'll both know that's me accepting the compliment.

So, I got it.

Alright.

Awwwwwww, I'm feeling the love. Come on guys, group hug!!!!

(I just want to grope two of the hottest guys on the AH, but don't let on I told you that, okay?)

 

[impressive]

(I just want to grope two of the hottest guys on the AH, but don't let on I told you that, okay?)

Ya had to go & start my day with a fantasy, didn't you?

Love ya, Angel.

 

[starrkers]

(I just want to grope two of the hottest guys on the AH, but don't let on I told you that, okay?)

That's a thought I will happily take to bed with me tonight

 

[English Lady]

Ya had to go & start my day with a fantasy, didn't you?

Love ya, Angel.

That's a thought I will happily take to bed with me tonight

Joe, Bel come on guys, we've got to bring out the goods! We don't want to disappoin t the beautiful ladies!


(it is a bloody good fantasy though, ladies -right?)

PS -Love ya, Imp

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

That would make a good story! I give it a 5.

 

[jomar]

Logitian = co-worker exasperater.

 

[cantdog]

People

You still need 'em. We're wired like that. They deprive prisoners of the company of thieves and rapists and con men and murderers, and when they do, it's punishment, though it sounds appealing in the abstract. We have to have people around.

Doesn't make 'em any easier to take, moment to moment, though.

 

[Liar]

Your logic is impeccable as always, Joe. But yanno, the only ones that one can convince with logic alone, are other logicians. In the real world, being right is silver, being stubborn is gold, and being witty is diamonds dipped in the pussy juice of angels.

 

[neonlyte]

Your logic is impeccable as always, Joe. But yanno, the only ones that one can convince with logic alone, are other logicians. In the real world, being right is silver, being stubborn is gold, and being witty is diamonds dipped in the pussy juice of angels.

Angels have pussy juice Shit... I've been backing the wrong horse

Joe, most days are better than stories... as long as you don't expect sex AND bagels

 

[cloudy]

Joe, most days are better than stories... as long as you don't expect sex AND bagels

...and marshmallows are always a bonus.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Your logic is impeccable as always, Joe. But yanno, the only ones that one can convince with logic alone, are other logicians. In the real world, being right is silver, being stubborn is gold, and being witty is diamonds dipped in the pussy juice of angels.

This goes into the all-time best quotes file. Have you been reading Tom Robbins lately?

I'm not good at that. Like, never have been. I'll just say "Got it" in a manly way and we'll both know that's me accepting the compliment.

So, I got it.

Alright.

A useful five-word phrase;
"Thank you for the compliment."

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

A useful five-word phrase;
"Thank you for the compliment."

Doesn't make it any easier.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Doesn't make it any easier.

That's the price you pay for having human interactions, though...

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

That's the price you pay for having human interactions, though...

I much disagree. Human interaction comes with it the colorful spectrum of things people are better and worse at, comfortable and uncomfortable with--forced catchphrases are not the price paid for it (they simply don't have to be). Often rudeness, unintentionally, is the forcing of the square peg into a round hole--or the suggestion that its just "that easy".

Food for thought.

 

[Stella_Omega]

So funny, that!

You remind me of myself at your age.

Awhile back, my sister called me and told me that I must have Asberger's syndrome. That would explain EVERYTHING, she said (which worried me, because if I didn't have this limited emotional response thing organically, then things would still be MY FAULT somehow).
Well, my psychiatrist told me no. And I told her no. And she still believes that, since I don't react as emotionally as she does, there is something wrong with me.

But, I've learned some things since then-- one of them is how to at least mimic the responses, in the interests of communication. The communication I'm talking about is not the transfer of facts and knowledge, it's the give-and-take of human connectedness.

And, I've found that from mimicking, I've become more emotionally intelligent-- more sensitive. Certainly not any less abrasive in an argument, but I do feel more comfortable in conversations these days.

Food for thought.

 

[neonlyte]

So funny, that! <- - -

- - - -> And, I've found that from mimicking, I've become more emotionally intelligent-- more sensitive. Certainly not any less abrasive in an argument, but I do feel more comfortable in conversations these days.

Food for thought.

Mimicking is a wonderful way of conversing! I can do it in foreign languages as long as no one directly asks me a question. It's about smiling, scowling and nodding at the right point and you can generally understand that from intonation (even if your sister speaks the same tongue). The SO's almost expert level, I ask her direct questions - usually on computing matters... poor lamb.