A creepy character

[Star of Penumbra]

This is for sort of a (non-erotic) horror story, although horror isn't really technically accurate... Anway, one of the characters is a teenaged girl, and comes off as being rather creepy and unsettling. The problem is that I don't really know how to portray a character like this.

So far, what I have is that she's visibly emotionless (she has feelins, but never lets them show), much stronger than she looks (or maybe just doesn't restrain herself), very rarely blinks, and has a fascination with mutilation, castration in particular (as I imagine her, this is more due to the fact she beleives that she will become unforgettable to the men she's castrated, rather than a hatred of men, or anything like that. She loses interest in dealing with someone after she's castrated him, for example, and doesn't enjoy causing suffering per se, thogh this is how she deals with people when she can, because she sees it as having more of an impact on them.)

What I'm asking for is traits, or habits, or mannerisms that would help make her seem creepy without going too much into detail. Something that would unsettle but not neccisarily scare someone dealing with a person like this in real life.

 

[Guest]

This is for sort of a (non-erotic) horror story, although horror isn't really technically accurate... Anway, one of the characters is a teenaged girl, and comes off as being rather creepy and unsettling. The problem is that I don't really know how to portray a character like this.

So far, what I have is that she's visibly emotionless (she has feelins, but never lets them show), much stronger than she looks (or maybe just doesn't restrain herself), very rarely blinks, and has a fascination with mutilation, castration in particular (as I imagine her, this is more due to the fact she beleives that she will become unforgettable to the men she's castrated, rather than a hatred of men, or anything like that. She loses interest in dealing with someone after she's castrated him, for example, and doesn't enjoy causing suffering per se, thogh this is how she deals with people when she can, because she sees it as having more of an impact on them.)

What I'm asking for is traits, or habits, or mannerisms that would help make her seem creepy without going too much into detail. Something that would unsettle but not neccisarily scare someone dealing with a person like this in real life.

Smiling at inappropriate points in the conversation always works. You could also add a bit of business such as having her play with or caress the edge of a gravity knife or similar.

Alternatively, she could just seem to "go away" mentally at times when she's fantasizing.

 

[Star of Penumbra]

The "playing with a knife" bit is something I had thought of already- she carries a straight razor, and is occasionally seen sharpening or cleaning it, though why she needs to clean it is (supposed to be) left up to the reader's imagination.

 

[Belegon]

I have always found that one of the best ways is to describe other characters reactions to that person. It may seem like a bit of a crutch, but it can be very effective in portraying things one feels outside the normal five senses.

 

[cloudy]

The "playing with a knife" bit is something I had thought of already- she carries a straight razor, and is occasionally seen sharpening or cleaning it, though why she needs to clean it is (supposed to be) left up to the reader's imagination.

That's a little obvious, though, isn't it?

I would rather leave a little doubt in the readers' minds, keep them guessing.

 

[jomar]

Maybe she has a stillness to her that unsettles others. Doesn't blink much. And she is silent in her approach so she's at someones shoulder for a few seconds before they realize it.

 

[cloudy]

People that smile all the time creep me out. I mean...happy people are cool, but nobody's happy all the damn time.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I suspect that anyone who was the least bit psychologically aware would pinpoint your character as psychopathic in very short order. Then would come the question, "Do I eliminate her immediately for the good of society or just get the Hell out of here?"

 

[SweetWitch]

This is for sort of a (non-erotic) horror story, although horror isn't really technically accurate... Anway, one of the characters is a teenaged girl, and comes off as being rather creepy and unsettling. The problem is that I don't really know how to portray a character like this.

So far, what I have is that she's visibly emotionless (she has feelins, but never lets them show), much stronger than she looks (or maybe just doesn't restrain herself), very rarely blinks, and has a fascination with mutilation, castration in particular (as I imagine her, this is more due to the fact she beleives that she will become unforgettable to the men she's castrated, rather than a hatred of men, or anything like that. She loses interest in dealing with someone after she's castrated him, for example, and doesn't enjoy causing suffering per se, thogh this is how she deals with people when she can, because she sees it as having more of an impact on them.)

What I'm asking for is traits, or habits, or mannerisms that would help make her seem creepy without going too much into detail. Something that would unsettle but not neccisarily scare someone dealing with a person like this in real life.

Is her voice soft, gentle, almost melodic? Does she have a way of looking into one's eyes that makes him feel as if she's seeing his darkest secrets? Can she, while standing perfectly motionless for a long time, suddenly snatch a fly from the air without appearing to have changed even her posture?

Perhaps she is almost child-like in her expressions, seemingly simple and innocent. Maybe a person's first reaction to or impression of her is that she's slow or dimwitted. Her expressionless face would give them no reason to think otherwise until they look into her eyes. Behind those eyes is something chilling, cold, almost preditory. Then she smiles softly and disarms her victim.

 

[TE999]

Just make sure she's an 18 yo psychopath.

She could exhibit obscessive behavior patterns...washing hands to remove imaginary blood...that sort of thing.

 

[SweetWitch]

Just make sure she's an 18 yo psychopath.

She could exhibit obscessive behavior patterns...washing hands to remove imaginary blood...that sort of thing.

I think being truly creepy is far more subtle than that.

 

[cloudy]

I think being truly creepy is far more subtle than that.

Agreed, which is why I think caressing a knife is WAY too much.

 

[SweetWitch]

Agreed, which is why I think caressing a knife is WAY too much.

Perhaps a transfixed stare when someone else is holding a knife in the kitchen or commenting on how she loved the way steel gleams in the light, but caressing a knife or razor would tell too much.

 

[sinfullypink]

She could stare at the pulse in someone's neck.

A scene like that always weirds me out, where you can see the soon-to-be victim's heart rate increase.

 

[Xelebes]

What is creepy? Someone who doesn't make their entrance or exit known, someone who doesn't make their intentions known but goes about about it in a way that is persistently nice but never showing any other emotion. Someone who you can't guess is either bottling some emotion in a giant vessel that is waiting to be rocked, but continues to persist in holding it all in.

Also, someone who persists in doing something - moreso than a compulsion, but an obsession. Someone who is transfixed by various things and just may or may not move away from whatever they are fixated on. That s, they might sit still looking at a bottle, studying the vibrations of the water.

Really, just focus on how the character might be avoiding painful things to others.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Perhaps a transfixed stare when someone else is holding a knife in the kitchen or commenting on how she loved the way steel gleams in the light, but caressing a knife or razor would tell too much.

There's nothing creepy about caressing a knife. I do that regularly and there's nothing creepy about fuzzy ol' me.

 

[SweetWitch]

There's nothing creepy about caressing a knife. I do that regularly and there's nothing creepy about fuzzy ol' me.

Yes, darling, but you creep me out in very subtle ways.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Yes, darling, but you creep me out in very subtle ways.

 

[SweetWitch]

I still love you, though.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I still love you, though.

Oh good. I was worried for a bit there.

 

[SweetWitch]

Oh good. I was worried for a bit there.

You're adorable, in a sweet, creepy way.

 

[TE999]

You're adorable, in a sweet, creepy way.

Now that's creepy behavior...pleasant, almost fawning, agreeable to a fault...but there's something in her eyes that makes people uncomfortable...the windows of the soul giving a glimpse of the pure evil within.