a chuckle for your day

[thumbs2_ca]

Nick the dragon slayer

Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to have Horatio the Physician arrange it and that he would gladly pay the 1,000 gold coins for the chance to satisfy his desires for the Queen.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's massive brassiere while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer had present the antidote to cure the itch.
King Arthur quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer.
Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put it into his mouth, and for the next four hours, worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon
Slayer left satisfied and as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less, and knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King-shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into King Arthur's loincloth. King Arthur quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Pay your bills.

 

[plasticman33]

ROTFLMFAO!!! Loved it Thumbs!!

 

[Calamity Jane]

Speaking of paying your bills...

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I d give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman."

Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer." She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment. The following morning the man presented her with $125.00 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating "If you don't give me the other $125.00, I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying "I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."

Within a few days, he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His lawyer said, "She can't possibly get a judgment against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented."

After the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court as follows: "Your honor, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot, surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of $250.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $125.00, one-half of the amount agreed upon.

The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask judgment be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance.

The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused by the way his opponent had presented the case. His defense, therefore was somewhat different from the way he planned to present it.

"Your honor," he said, "my client agrees that the lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time, and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labor performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the plaintiff was said property. We, therefore, ask that judgment not be granted."

The young lady's lawyer answered, "Your honor, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property. However, had the defendant not known that the well existed, he would never have rented the property.

Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property much less desirable to others.

We, therefore, ask that judgment be granted."

In the Judge's decision, he provided for two options: "Pay the $125.00 or have the equipment detached from its current location and provide it to the plaintiff for damages."

The defendant immediately wrote a check.

 

[thumbs2_ca]

lol

Thanks Plasticman... I get an awful lot of jokes sent to my office email everyday.

That was hilarious Pagancowgirl.

 

[thumbs2_ca]

and another one

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising.
Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500.00."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked.
I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great! But before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and... I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront
property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price... and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye...I do too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

if you haven't seen this ...


http://literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58392

 

[thumbs2_ca]

lol

I did miss that one ShamelessFlirt.. pretty funny
Pretty damn quick thinking too I would say. lol
I think to damn slow to get in that predicament.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Thanks for the chuckles everyone

 

[Angel_of_Flames]

Nice chuckle to end the evening...keep up the good work!