A Challenge: KM style

[KillerMuffin]

Here are two samples of separate KM butcheries of the English language:

1. Well. (Deep subject). Ewe our a peeling two hour right her side, write? Sew--at least eye wood think--ewe might find it help full too ewes prop her sorts of spellings inn stead of chat short hand. Ore, if ewe our like me, ewe kin go four creative miss spelling. It kin bee fun!
   
2. I am to be the loving the Gnufi and the sex that is being the best that is of the Gnufi that is being the memory of me that is in the head that is mine. The Dillinger that is of the wanting to be having the hot sex ass that is of the body that is mine is being the having to wait. I am the muffin that is the being in the college that is here where I am being the hot sex muffin at. I am of the wanting that is to be staying here and being the hot sex babe that is shaking the ass at the big penis head that is belonging the Gnufi, but I am not the being that is able to the stay the place that is here because I am the hot sex muffin that is to be going to the place that is being the college that is the class in the time that is to be now. I am the missing the Gnufi and the big penis head that is of the body that is the belonging to the Gnufi! I am the going that is leaving now! I am the goodbye!
   [/list=1]
   
   The challenge is to write at a story of at least one paragraph (submittable here) in either style 1 or style 2. Actually, the challenge would be more to understand it than do it, but hey. I have fun with it, at least.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Eye m two skerd of yur chal edge

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Your second example reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago:
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I am of those who were of the spaceship that was of the things that were crashed of things of the past. Too of this of that time I am of those who are helpers of those who are of injured people and not of those who are of people who are of the dead. While we are of those people of the past who are helpful of the people who are of those who are hurt, Zidda of your people is of those of that time who are of bad people who are of those who big-up by being of those who give for themselves of other people’s. Of this is the cause of she is not of us who are of those who are here of the present.
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I worked on a sci-fi story a long time ago where there was a race of super status-conscious alien. Just as English verbs are based on either “to have” or “to be”, this very formal alien language was based on belonging to groups and classes; their language was based on the idea of “of”. You didn't "run"; you were "of those things that run of the present".

Above is what came through the universal translator as an alien told an earth dude that he (the alien) had gone to help people injured in a rocket crash and had observed the earth girl Zidda taking thngs that weren’t hers. To the alien she was doing this to “big-up”, or give herself more status, and so they had shunned her and left her there.

I realized that no reader was going to be of those who put up with this kind of crap, and so I was of those who abandoned it before I became of those who are totally crazy.

I pick up bad language habits very easily, and I found myself starting to think in this language.

---dr.M.

 

[shereads]

Born of compulsion?

 

[Guest]

Yoda-speak: who wants to hear, speak or write more than a phrase at a time?

Perdita, not.

 

[TheEarl]

of crs it cn b vry smpl 2 rite strys in txtspk the prblm is wrkng out wht the fck u've wrttn whn edtng.

who the fck invntd a lngage wthout vwls?

The Earl (who has grammatically perfect text-messages, cause txtspk annoys him)

 

[shereads]

Yoda-speak: who wants to hear, speak or write more than a phrase at a time?

Perdita, not.

Ewe said it, sister....I admire the ability to work out a language, actually. I don't understand what drives someone to do it, but then they probably wouldn't understand my compulsion to wallpaper my home with postage stamps from the Balkan states.

Seriously, reading KM's examples and Dr. Mabeuse's reply made me think about J.R.R. Tolkien, who is said to have been motivated to write Lord of the Rings and the Silmarillion by his interest in creating a language to parallel English and a mythology to accompany the language. Obsessive but brilliant. And his language is sufficently "real" that it's used in the current film trilogy with subtitles.

Somehow the same concept spins into the nerd zone when the language is Klingon.

(See the documentary film "Trekkies" for a good scary time. Includes the true story of a woman in the U.S. who demanded, and was allowed, to wear her Star Trek Federation uniform while serving on a jury.)

Shameful language confession: I cannot speak, write or understand "pig latin." Ixnay. I also can't roll my "r"s sufficiently to speak French.

 

[minsue]

Shameful language confession: I cannot speak, write or understand "pig latin." Ixnay. I also can't roll my "r"s sufficiently to speak French.

You have to roll "r"s for French? I never knew that. Shameful how ignorant I am.

If it helps, she, I can't roll my "r"s anymore either. I used to be able to, but lost the ability when I got my tongue pierced as a teenager. Not only that, they placed the barbell so perfectly that I now have a sssslight lisssp.

- Mindy

 

[Guest]

Min, are you serious?! Spanish has a double-R roll (as in burro), the French rolling r's are nada.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Italian - yes -

Rolled and flipped 'R' sounds

(at least singing)

 

[minsue]

Min, are you serious?! Spanish has a double-R roll (as in burro), the French rolling r's are nada.

Perdita

I knew about Spanish rolling 'r's and was quite proficient pre-toungue piercing. Maybe it's kharma. I once mocked those who could not roll 'r's. Now, I'm sad to say that I can't pronounce half of the Spanish that I actually still remember.

- Mindy

 

[Guest]

Aye, dios mio! I hope tongue piercing doesn't catch on in Mexico.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

I hev bin to the evlin redding sped reddin corse.

My reddin and comprension hev improvid tremendusely.

I wood rekomendt tit to all my frens up in thet holler we cum frum.

Ef u wuld like to red un spel thas good as me ant ta odders plez sen fun the klas pappers.

thunk u

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmm

Holy shit KM you got me all excited when I first saw Ewe I thought it could be a tale about my lovely Blodwyn.

I think I'll give this one a miss, I can't manage real speak let alone jumbled speak.

pops....Who hasn't yet fathomed out how to send text messages.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

No thanks.
I make enough blunders in language when I'm trying to
avoid them.

 

[Dillinger]

Come grapes intelligence in how I be question... After am swims, needs war... Variable habits... Dark lie fine print... Crazy later as sex. (Question: dark before/after strangers?) Here slower concept: done run dead.

Music: task, am spaceship Earth. Science: reason, let there come. Lie: can it discipline the overcome reform magician? Grapes: down ready, wrong young sex. Present universe in overnight experience.

Sex am instinct... Take variable wrong. Free justice, grapes euphoric... Dark raise, young call, below is total scientist (walk incentive). Do future science - be discipline. Habitual before form.

Me before form. Two brain task.

Space - the feeling juice.