A Challenge for the LitAddicts

[Killswitch]

Please elaborate. Really.

lol.....

 

[capricious_chic]

Sure, well ... if you take a night off, it gives you time to think about what you're not doing with your time.

How was your night?

So what thoughts did you come up with and how did the night go?

I had a wonderful night. I took the night off work, hung out w/my sister and some friends and ate Chinese food. Caught up on some TiVo'ed shows and talked to some new guy on the phone that I'm contemplating going on a date with.

 

[capricious_chic]

As soon as someone gives me directions to someplace social where I can interact with people like I would here, that I would like, and that would be at least approximately my age and single ~ I'll be gone.

Any place can be like that.

Many times the party is what you make it. Bring who you are here, out there - and it will be. Likely w/more single people at that. 'Cause, you know, most the people here are married.

 

[capricious_chic]

Baby steps. Did you ever see "What About Bob?"

This was a big challenge to ask a bunch of people to commit to.

Again, it really isn't a challenge if a bunch of people are doing it. If no one is here - you're not missing anything.

I have an incredibly non-committal personality. I just avoid them whenever I can, any way that I can.

I love Lit. It offers me a way to be social when I don't actually want to be around people. It can be a fine line, as I don't like to be around people often. So I can understand how easy it would be to just exist and be social here. There are times that I do just that.

 

[Olivia_Yearns]

Again, it really isn't a challenge if a bunch of people are doing it. If no one is here - you're not missing anything.

I have an incredibly non-committal personality. I just avoid them whenever I can, any way that I can.

I love Lit. It offers me a way to be social when I don't actually want to be around people. It can be a fine line, as I don't like to be around people often. So I can understand how easy it would be to just exist and be social here. There are times that I do just that.

I love lit too. I don't want to stop coming here. But I go overboard. Knowing we were doing it together made it easier for some of us. I got to bed about 2 hours earlier then usual, which was important for me. It becomes a bad habit to stay on too long - for me, anyway.

 

[Guest]

 

[Xander]

This is true... lol ~ all of it.

But, I was married for 17 years, and the vast majority of the people I know, I only know from the kid's ballfields and stuff, and them not well. It's not that simple to make a social life for yourself at 37, when you've not had one for all this time. In fact, it's downright intimidating.

But, I think I'm going to take a salsa class or a cooking class or ... hell, maybe basket weaving! You have to start somewhere.

You can come the next time I fire up my humongus BBQ. There are plenty of people around for that.

 

[Flyin_Free]

This is true... lol ~ all of it.

But, I was married for 17 years, and the vast majority of the people I know, I only know from the kid's ballfields and stuff, and them not well. It's not that simple to make a social life for yourself at 37, when you've not had one for all this time. In fact, it's downright intimidating.

But, I think I'm going to take a salsa class or a cooking class or ... hell, maybe basket weaving! You have to start somewhere.

I can absolutely relate to this post. I'm 36 and was with my ex for about the same amount of time you were, it's very intimidating to break out and make a new social life all of a sudden!

 

[Jailhouse]

I can absolutely relate to this post. I'm 36 and was with my ex for about the same amount of time you were, it's very intimidating to break out and make a new social life all of a sudden!

Aside from the fact that I had a wife and not a husband... exact same experience for me as well.

 

[capricious_chic]

I love lit too. I don't want to stop coming here. But I go overboard. Knowing we were doing it together made it easier for some of us. I got to bed about 2 hours earlier then usual, which was important for me. It becomes a bad habit to stay on too long - for me, anyway.

If I were married, or otherwise involved - I would and did enjoy Lit more.

Surfing Lit as a single person changes it for me. I get overwhelmed w/all of the desperate, lonely people here. I didn't notice it before and perhaps it is me projecting now. I don't consciously limit myself here, it is more a matter of how much I can handle. If that makes any sense.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[capricious_chic]

This is true... lol ~ all of it.

But, I was married for 17 years, and the vast majority of the people I know, I only know from the kid's ballfields and stuff, and them not well. It's not that simple to make a social life for yourself at 37, when you've not had one for all this time. In fact, it's downright intimidating.

But, I think I'm going to take a salsa class or a cooking class or ... hell, maybe basket weaving! You have to start somewhere.

Some of those parents are likely going through something similar. It might well be worth the effort to get to know them a bit more. I went to a club a few months ago, one thing that really stood out to me is the number of 40+ people I saw there. Now, either I never noticed it when I was in my younger, club hopping days or there is a huge increase of older, single people.

The more you get out there, the less intimidating it is.

I can't really relate, as I've never been married and even when I was in a relationship I maintained a separate (although sometimes shared) social life.
I'm a huge fan of space. I can say, without a doubt, dating at 35 isn't nearly as fun as dating at 20 was.

I took a belly dancing class a couple years ago. It was great fun.

 

[Xander]

See ~ that's the problem with online! You meet some really interesting and neat people... and they all live way the hell over > there < somewhere!

*grin*... love to, Xander. Great BBQ, excellent music, and totally cool people.

Nothing a little roadtrip wont cure. I have packed away the huge BBQ for the winter, as it is currently...snowing. But once we're past New Years, and I've gotten around to welding a few new legs on the barrel grill.

It should be ready to go for springs first huge BBQ.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Xander]

Canada, right? or close...?


The reason's are piling up for a road trip to Canada ~ course... it won't be too 'little'...

Close. Michigan.

 

[Guest]

 

[Flyin_Free]

Aside from the fact that I had a wife and not a husband... exact same experience for me as well.

It's hard isn't it. So where do you go to meet people...besides online?

The only thing I can think of is to take a class or something. For friends and a social life. As to men... beats me...

I'm past the age of hanging in a bar ~ besides the fact that I'd have to choose between men way too young for me or men way too old or fight over the handful of middle aged men while wondering what they're doing hanging in a bar (chuckle) ~

I actually think more and more divorced people are meeting online. I'm just sure that's for me yet.

I guess classes would be good for meeting friends, but I already have friends....granted they're mostly "mom friends" but still.

I had the same thoughts about the bar as you. For one, the bar scene just isn't me and for two, if I did happen to meet somebody in a bar who was close to my age then I'd be wondering if I really wanted to get into a relationship with someboy who spent his time hanging out in a bar.

I think the easiest way to meet people IS online...but then, like you said, you end up meeting people who live 1/2 way across the country, and even if you really hit it off with them the liklihood of ever actually meeting or having a "real" relationship is slim. It sucks and I'm not sure what the answer is but if you figure it out let me know!

 

[Olivia_Yearns]

It's hard isn't it. So where do you go to meet people...besides online?

When I was dating (I'm taking a break) I met two different people in training/courses related to my work. Both of those experiences were positive, in that we had some time to get to know each other before getting to the point of getting together to 'date'. I've also met people from an online dating site - a mixed experience. One person I really liked. We dated for a while, and are now friends.

I don't want to do online dating, and I haven't been up for social stuff, but if/when I am, I don't know how I'll do it. Cultural stuff - live music, film, readings. Physical stuff - boating, maybe join a cycling club (see how I'm putting it all off 'till spring).

I thought lit would be a way to avoid dating. I had no idea what strong feelings I would be capable of developing for someone I hadn't even met. Riskier then I thought. And then, once you like someone you've never met, meeting them becomes terrifying.

When I did online dating, I'd have a phone conversation with the person, and if that went well, I'd meet them for a coffee - maybe a half hour meeting. No expectations. But when you love the way someone thinks and writes, and have built up hopes or fantasies, it's so loaded to meet them.

 

[Guest]

 

[Olivia_Yearns]

Lit is my way of socializing without really getting out there. And like you, I've been surprised at the depth of feeling possible for someone you've never met.

I've wondered about your last point. I've yet to meet anyone that I only know from online ~ and I've wondered what perceptions and first impressions will be affected once true physical chemistry comes into play. I'm a strong believer (from experience in other things), that you can have a mental attraction that doesn't necessarily translate into a natural physical chemistry.

I think that too - mental attraction might not translate. And, even worse, what if it does translate for one, but not the other? Hurtsville.

I haven't met anyone from lit, so I don't have experience on this.

 

[LotusDreamer]

I made it.
I didn't go insane and stab anyone wi' a spork.
Yes, it would've relieved the monotony of Amer. Lit., but,
I believe Lit has had one spork incident.

 

[Killswitch]

I made it.
I didn't go insane and stab anyone wi' a spork.
Yes, it would've relieved the monotony of Amer. Lit., but,
I believe Lit has had one spork incident.

*swoon*

 

[Olivia_Yearns]

I made it.
I didn't go insane and stab anyone wi' a spork.
Yes, it would've relieved the monotony of Amer. Lit., but,
I believe Lit has had one spork incident.

Well done, lovely lotus. Nice new av. Yes, we had a spork incident here.

http://img112.imageshack.us/img112/416/sprkqv8.gif