A bit put off...

[leeroy jenkins]

Is there something like this on the East Coast?

I know there is at least one club in NYC area because some of the people I know live there now or came from there. But from what I have heard if you are looking for a place to play its mostly private homes with their own rules and so forth.

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#New York

Hope this helps.

 

[CutieMouse]

Is there something like this on the East Coast?

Ummm... I believe New York City is the home of TES , one of the oldest BDSM organizations in North America. (Lucky you.)

A Google search for BDSM Munch NYC should turn up some options; Evil_Geoff may show up and give you his handy dandy linkage for how to find a local munch. (He's much better at the networking thing, than I. )

 

[Netzach]

Is there something like this on the East Coast?

If you are SE, there's Black Rose in DC. If you are upstate NY there's albany power exchange. If you are really SE there's stuff in Atlanta - if you are within a drive of any larger metro you will find some kind of social organization.

 

[DomRick]

You're definitely going about your research the right way. Anonymously and with distance. There are plenty of people to learn from, but not from someone who can't conduct themselves appropriately. Best wishes in your adventure and may you find the right Dominants and submissives to learn from and grow with.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

As Cutie so kindly pointed out... *blows her a kiss*

To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.

Have fun!

 

[Lorelei_11]

Here I found it

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=387054&highlight=asshat

Thanks. Its late and I can't sleep. I just poured a coffee and I'm going to read some of that thread.

 

[Soumis]

I've been showing up to Fourth Friday and TNG (The next generation) group whenever I've been in town the last couple of months, so I'll keep an eye out for you if you'd like. It can be scary showing up to a group with tons of people and realizing you don't know a single one. I'll be at the TNG table next to the one for Sanctuary, which is where the post-munch play parties are held.

TNG is a group for the 18-35 age group. It has its pros and cons like any group. The biggests pros being that your around people your own age and most of our discussion topics are geared toward the "new" to the lifestyle since a lot of people our age are. The con, in my opinion, is that I have a harder time trusting people new to the lifestyle, so it limits scene/play potential a bit.

I live in Carrollton, so I'm a bit north of Dallas as well. Just to give you an idea here of where I'm coming from, I'm 20 and been a submissive in the lifestyle for three years. I moved back to Dallas after graduating from A&M, hence being new to the scene here. There actually is a TNG munch tonight, which I think would be great for you to attend if you can. If you're interested, it can be less overwhelming than Fourth Friday since it's in a smaller space, with fewer people. It's at Sanctuary, and though there is a play party afterwards, the munch is first and free. There will be about two hours of directed discussion and socializing prior to the party, I think the topic tonight is Master/Slave interactions.

Here's the link for the TNG yahoo group. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DallasTNG/

And feel free to pm if you have any questions or want a carpool buddy or anything. My messenger info's on the profile too.

 

[enpassant18]

I know there is at least one club in NYC area because some of the people I know live there now or came from there. But from what I have heard if you are looking for a place to play its mostly private homes with their own rules and so forth.

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#New York

Hope this helps.

Thanks~

 

[enpassant18]

If you are SE, there's Black Rose in DC. If you are upstate NY there's albany power exchange. If you are really SE there's stuff in Atlanta - if you are within a drive of any larger metro you will find some kind of social organization.

I'm in NYC

 

[enpassant18]

Ummm... I believe New York City is the home of TES , one of the oldest BDSM organizations in North America. (Lucky you.)

A Google search for BDSM Munch NYC should turn up some options; Evil_Geoff may show up and give you his handy dandy linkage for how to find a local munch. (He's much better at the networking thing, than I. )

Terrific. Already connected with TES

 

[EmpressFi]

Even if you had some D/s experience - at whatever level - practicing BDSM in real life takes trust & a certain amount of knowledge about your partner. Nobody should expect you to be a sexual doormat because you're a sub (tho they will try to). Doms are quick to complain that someone agreed to submit totally & feel cheated when it turns out they're not ready for x, y or z. They can't have it both ways up & you're right to know your limits & feelings & stick to them. Kudos to you x

I couldnt agree more. One of the things my master says he loves about me most, that he finds most attractive in me is that while I am a very well trained pet, I am not a doormat. He always says I am a strong sub. And the trust part, is the foundation to it all. You have to trust that your Dom wont go further than you're willing to go, wont hurt you past where you're comfortable. And in my case, where my master and I live so far apart, he has to trust that I'm doing the things he asks and also, I'm married so there's other matters thrown in

I am one of the luckiest women. I am loved by two men; my husband AND my master.

 

[SweetGigi]

My guess is that you two are not compatibile as you are both clearly at different stages in your life and have different goals at this point and time.

There is nothing wrong with you wanting what you want for yourself and its a good idea to take some time to explore before commiting wholely to anything. If more people did it, then there would be less grief down the road.

As to wether this guy is an asshat or a wannabe as everyone seems to be claiming is not really conclusive in my eyes as I don't know him or his side of the story. From what you have related in being as honest as you can, I would thnk that he over-reacted and could be someone who is carrying a lot of baggage from previous relationships. Or he could be exactly what people are saying he is on this thread.

In part it doesn't really matter though as it is clear that he has a negative view or opinion of you and he is definately not the guy to be exploring with, especially if he has issues or baggage himself.

To answer the other part of your question. Doms come in all shape and sizes. My advice is to not put your focus online but rather in RL. Get plugged into to a local group in RL or visit places that would have Domly types. Build your experience upon real life because as you said you are trying to decide if this is something you really want or if it just fantasy.

As long as you keep your hunt and experiences in the realm of online, then you are defeating what it is you really want to find out.

My advice is to let this guy know that you are not sure what his problems or issues are, but they seem to be a deal breaker for any chance of exploring further with him. At this point and time you are not compatible and as much as you may not be what he is looking for(precieved or otherwise), he also is not what you are looking for or need at this crossroads of decision in your life. After you have done that, find a way to get plugged into the local scene and make some RL friends inside of it and take it from there.

I wish you best of luck in your seeking.

I totally and completely agree with these statements. Who knows what sort of deamons this man is carrying about. What we do know is all this came about early enough that neither of you have invested anything yet and since that is the case, it is easy enough to chalk it all up to experience and go about your separate paths. (how's that for a run on sentence. )

Now, I personally, wouldn't sever all ties with this new friend, but I would set boundaries to our friendship. (that is if he was willing and able to just be friends.) You can sometimes learn a lot about something if you witness the things you DON'T like as much as the things you DO like.

I wish you luck and happiness in your search. Have fun and be safe; know there are heaps of folks here that will guide you and help you if you ever need help.

Is there something like this on the East Coast?

If you are in NYC, I am sure you could find something interesting on you block if not in your neighborhood.

 

[shy slave]

I think calling the guy an asshat on the basis of a very small amount of hearsay is rather asshattish in itself, therefore I won't judge him. Afterall, there might be people out there who like that kind of thing (but I have yet to meet them ).

I do, however, think it's rather undomly to whine.

And, considering the amount of whining I see around the place, I'd say you are going to find a lot more guys like him.

<snip>

I love this line.

The next time I come across a Dom who is whining about how difficult a submissive is, I shall think of this one-liner and smile.

I sort of imagine that it will come flying out of my mouth at some point.

I have never heard Andante whine....but the first time I think he is, I just know I will use it lol

 

[graceanne]

I love this line.

The next time I come across a Dom who is whining about how difficult a submissive is, I shall think of this one-liner and smile.

I sort of imagine that it will come flying out of my mouth at some point.

I have never heard Andante whine....but the first time I think he is, I just know I will use it lol

You are a glutton for punishment.

 

[rthnck]

it's the journey

I would think that the OP's tentative steps into submission are the norm rather than the exception. We explore to find out what we like and what our own personal boundries are. Not many people run right up to the edge of the cliff to start their journey. We take steps we're comfortable with, we build trust with our partners and we then take pleasure in the journey.

Anybody that wants to bully and intimidate you to try and control you without your consent is not worth the time or the cyber-bits that this thread has hatched.

There is someone out there that will work with you if you want to explore your submissiveness. Keep looking.

 

[shy slave]

You are a glutton for punishment.

Me??

*shocked look*

rthnck, I like your post, particularly this line

Anybody that wants to bully and intimidate you to try and control you without your consent is not worth the time or the cyber-bits that this thread has hatched