6 Types of Men a Woman Should Avoid

[cantdog]

Well, to be fair, the article quoted only mentions men and she did ask for the men of the AH to give their opinion on what sort of women to avoid.

How nice of you, and how tactful! Some of would have pointed out that he didn't have a clue what the thread was about. And snidely.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

How nice of you, and how tactful! Some of would have pointed out that he didn't have a clue what the thread was about. And snidely.

Thanks, Cant.
I've been feeling oddly diplomatic, must be all the vitamin D....

 

[3113]

The day 3113 opens a thread saying something about what kind of women to avoid is the day Rush Limbaugh admits he's gay...

Ah, Jacq. Rocking back and forth, back and forth, on your hobby horse so intently that, once again, you misread what I say and attribute things to me that just aren't true. You are beginning to sound more asinine and less amusing when you do it.

I quote myself in the FIRST post:

So, men, the inside dope. What kind of guys should we avoid? Make sure it's a "type" with a catchy name. Ladies, the inside dope. What kind of women should men avoid?

I certainly hope Rush is gay and admits it, but I suspect that will only happen on the day YOU admit that you're a misogynist who is trapped in the desperate delusion that every woman here is a feminist from the 70's (that time machine we found back in '71 sure is useful). That we're still burning our bras and hating men. I was too young myself to be that, and I kinda like living in the 21st century, but I'll understand if you never got past that trauma. Besides that mustache and lounge lizard outfit really suits you.

 

[3113]

Thanks, Cant.
I've been feeling oddly diplomatic, must be all the vitamin D....

I must drink more milk. Somehow my diplomacy dipped way down there.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Boo hoo. Women didn't even get to VOTE in this country until 1920. Suck it up.

You know, I'm glad I'm able to keep bootlickers like this out of my real life.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You know, I'm glad I'm able to keep bootlickers like this out of my real life.

it's the sewage smell. Guaranteed bootlicker repellent. Repels pretty much all life forms, in fact, except for the common housefly, Musca domestica.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I must drink more milk. Somehow my diplomacy dipped way down there.

Please don't, I'd miss the amusement I get from you assaulting people with your arsenal of true facts.

 

[Guest]

Since I gave a list of minimum acceptable qualities for men, I thought I'd honor 13's request for types of women to avoid. (No, I'm not a lesbian, but I play one on TV. )

Without further ado (but hopefully, many "adieu's"):

Types of Women to Avoid

1. The Drama Queen (or, “OMFG, I broke a nail!”)
When the ordinary events of life pall, count on Ms DQ to liven things up. As she lurches from one “crisis” to the next, her radar sweeps constantly, detecting the slightest variation from the desired, and issuing a full-scale Armageddon alert. Woe unto you should you fail to appreciate the seriousness of each and every heart-stopping moment.

2. “Mimi!” (or, Me-Me-Me-Me-Me!)
You exist as an accessory in her world, and not a particularly fashionable one at that. How dare you say, “I have needs, too!” when it’s clear to anyone but a complete imbecile that her desires comprise the exact center of the universe? Traffic should part before her, the guy on the nightclub door should always wave her instantly through, and for a boutique not to have her favorite lip gloss is a hanging offense. But it’s really all right … no matter how hard you try to fulfill her desires, she’ll soon move on to someone else. And yes, you’re to blame.

3. The Leaning Post (or, “Take care of me. Take care of me. Take care…”
Turning helplessness into an art form, Ms LP is waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her… from everything. Life is just so confusing and hard, y’know? Besides, she really doesn’t handle stress—or anything else—very well. She just doesn’t know what she’d do without you, and isn’t about to find out. Ms LP can, when threatened with abandonment, do a creditable impression of The Amazing Ms Octopus (see below).

4. Miss Understanding (or, “If you loved me, you’d understand.”)
Miss Understanding is looking for that one person in the world who can “truly” understand her. Understandably, she goes through a lot of trial runs, all of which end in failure due to her “complexity” and your Neanderthal insensitivity. With the rawest nerve endings in the known universe, the slightest quirk of your eyebrow can trigger a torrent of tears, accusations, and dramatic suicidal gestures. Good luck figuring this one out. A geographical cure is the only known effective treatment.

5. The Amazing Ms Octopus (or, “Just you try to leave me!”)
You’ve never been held so tightly by anyone, and you never will because she’ll never let you go. Luring her prey with a semblance of normalcy, The Amazing Ms Octopus soon reveals an uncanny similarity to the La Brea tar pits. Many and mysterious are the ways in which her invisible tentacles wind about you, deftly dislocating your willpower and rendering escape a hopeless prospect. You sucker.

6. Ms Sherwin Williams (or, Smother the Earth™)
You’ll never again forget your galoshes, or your umbrella, or your pills, or to buckle your seat belt when Ms SW enters your life. If she’s cold, you’ll put on a sweater. You’ll give up red meat because it’s bad for your heart. Oh, and prepare yourself to lose twenty pounds because she worries about the prospect of you developing diabetes despite the fact that your doctor thinks your weight is fine. What does he know? He’s not married to you! Friends will be a thing of the past, because she’s all you should ever need, you ungrateful wretch!

 

[xssve]

I'm overrun with Ones and Twos, A Three, Five or Six would be a relief.

You forget the fixers, you know, the ones that want to take up where your mother left off? Lotta those around too.

 

[Guest]

I'm overrun with Ones and Twos, A Three, Five or Six would be a relief.

Careful what you wish for, hon...