58 year-old British Man Seeks Sub Woman for Online-Only Relationship

[CreativeMaster]

I am a 58 year-old British man who is seeking a submissive woman for a long-term online-only relationship. I don't really think of myself as a dom as such - it's more a case of my looking for a woman who will be the 'canvas' for my erotic ideas. So if the idea of doing erotic tasks appeals to you - tasks which probably no one has ever done before - then I hope you will get in touch. Suggesting themes for your masturbation will be one of my roles.

I would like to find someone who is intelligent, amusing, enthusiastic and friendly. Indeed, I want to develop a relationship which goes beyond sex, and I would like to hear about your interests, passions, and your life in general. Tell me for instance about the last book you read, and what was good or bad about it.

I like animals, cats in particular.

I should tell you that I am married, but the marriage is sexless. I will never be physically unfaithful to my wife, so this is why I am seeking an online-only involvement.

My fetishes? Well, I have a particular fetish about stripping a woman in a thousand different ways! I am serious! So, yes, eventually I will want you to undress for me, but only when you feel ready to do so, and even then I fully expect that you will be concerned about your online security when you strip - and of course building trust is difficult, so by all means adopt an 'internet persona', by disguising yourself with headscarf/wig, dark glasses, heavy make-up etc. Another fetish: I prefer a woman who has pubic hair - and if you do shave at the moment, please throw away your razor! I would also like someone who dresses in a 'feminine way', and who enjoys wearing skirts and dresses. But apart from those two or three fetishes, I am pretty easy-going.

I have placed ads before, but I have never really received any serious replies. Some ladies have got in touch, I suspect on a whim, or because they are excited by the IDEA of an online relationship, but following through is another thing completely. I am coming to believe that some kind of threshold has to be set down by me, to make certain I get serious replies. There are two things I am going to suggest. First, please send a reply of a decent length. Second, I think you should send a fully-clothed photo of yourself in a skirt or dress, in which you are showing a fair amount of thigh. In other words, nothing outrageously erotic, but at least hinting that the skirt will be raised higher, and that you would be happy for my eyes to wander up your legs...And as I said above, by all means adopt an 'internet persona' if you want to, but please don't send headless or masked pics, because I don't find them sexy at all. I want to see you smiling!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hello CM, and welcome to Lit. May I make a few suggestions?

*Kindly fill out your profile.

*Interact on the boards and make an effort to get to know people. The Playground and/or the BDSM Café would be logical places for you to begin.

*Lower your initial expectations. No Lit woman in her right mind is going to send you a full body shot (with plenty of thigh!), face included, until after she gets to know you.

*Expand on your offerings, detailing what you bring to the table. You're creative? Terrific! Tell us how.

Your ads are clear and well-written for the most part, but they seem more demanding than persuasive, and they lack warmth and a sense of humor. I'm sure if you make a few tweaks here and there, you'll see some replies.

Good luck!

 

[CreativeMaster]

Many thanks for that reply, Wild Honey. I will think about what you say.

My post reflects a certain jadedness - I have posted ads before, not just on Literotica, but on sites like GetDare, and nearly always the replies are from timewasters: apparent enthusiasm...but then silence. I don't believe this is my fault - I have heard of other guys getting similar responses, and this is presumably why GetDare gives you the option of putting 'Serious Replies Only, Please' in the heading of an ad. The trouble is, that doesn't act as a filter at all - perhaps it even encourages people to send responses that aren't serious.

This was why I suggested the 'threshold'. Yes, I asked for a show of thigh. But I also asked for the photo to be fully-clothed, and I would expect the woman to disguise her features with dark glasses, wig/headscarf etc. Is that so bad?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Many thanks for that reply, Wild Honey. I will think about what you say.

My post reflects a certain jadedness - I have posted ads before, not just on Literotica, but on sites like GetDare, and nearly always the replies are from timewasters: apparent enthusiasm...but then silence. I don't believe this is my fault - I have heard of other guys getting similar responses, and this is presumably why GetDare gives you the option of putting 'Serious Replies Only, Please' in the heading of an ad. The trouble is, that doesn't act as a filter at all - perhaps it even encourages people to send responses that aren't serious.

This was why I suggested the 'threshold'. Yes, I asked for a show of thigh. But I also asked for the photo to be fully-clothed, and I would expect the woman to disguise her features with dark glasses, wig/headscarf etc. Is that so bad?

Hm. Well... if a D/s relationship is based on intimacy gained through trust, the 'disguise' you suggested would be rather counterproductive to that goal, would it not? Wouldn't you rather wait until she trusts you enough to show herself to you, rather than requiring it in her very first message? It just seems to me that you've got the cart before the horse.

Also please keep in mind that the women here are jaded, too. There are some women who are here to play, and some who are not. And some who might be willing to if your offer were sweet enough. I don't know that it is. You can't offer your body, you can't offer your heart; all you have left is your pervy mind. Well I don't know if you have looked around, but that's exactly the same thing that thousands of other men are offering.

If you want a greater chance of success, you're going to have to up your game, show more of yourself, and adjust your expectations from the ladies. Use this thread as a means to let them get to know you. Your goal is (presumably) mutual pleasure, but all I'm seeing from you is business, business, business. Take a look at the personal ads with a lot of pages and take your cue from them. Lighten up, flirt, engage your target audience in open conversation. Offer to answer questions, do things to show them that you are concerned with their pleasure at least as much as your own, because as your ad stands, it looks like it's all about you.

Your post on the talk board was interesting, perhaps you could go into some detail about your ideas and why you think they would appeal to someone. Show us some of that creativity you spoke of. If you want to land a good partner, you're going to have to be more than just another man with a wang and a dirty mind.

 

[CreativeMaster]

Many thanks for taking the time to reply again in detail, Wild Honey. I really appreciate that.

I posted the skirt-raising game as an indication of what I could do. Another indication of my creativity would be the 'four-word challenge': a woman chooses four words at random from a dictionary - and the more obscure the words the better - sends them to me, and I will use them to devise a themed masturbation and/or stripping task for her. The words should not be overtly sexual words - the point of the challenge is to show that I can sexualise all sorts of things.