4some help!

[emby]

My SO and I have been playing around w/ another couple for about 2 months now. We both love it her and I and the other couple loves it too. The other couple is very good friends of ours.

Our problem is we are dealing with the jealousy factor from another couple in our circle of friends, who think they know what is going on (but they have no clue). We were friends with the 3rd couple first and met our playing couple through them. The real trouble is the 3rd couple (guy) will not let us spend any time now with our playing couple alone they always have to be around. It is there neighbor, so they always know when we are there!

So help us deal w/ this!

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

why not envite them to join you

Or sometime suggest Strip Poker and see what happens?

Holden

 

[gingermango]

The easiest solution is for your playing partners to tell their neighbors that it's a private party. That's direct and to the point, but anything else is really just passive-aggressive bullshit. If the non-playing couple is pissed, that's their problem for butting in.

Alternately, find a new place to play, away from the nosey neighbors. Cheap hotel rooms are plentiful, and there's always your house (the butt-inskies are neighbors of your play partners, right?).

We usually play with friends out at a hotel or at our house when the kids are away, but none of our neighbors is the type to invite themselves over at night when the outside lights are off, so we've never been bothered.

 

[SweetErika]

Just to clarify: Have you been involved sexually with the 3rd couple? If not, do you think they had intentions to be sexual with either you or your playmates?

Have you talked with the 3rd couple about this to make sure you understand each others' feelings? I'm guessing sitting down, telling them you really enjoy the company of them and the other couple (but sometimes in a group, and sometimes separately), and you just want to make sure everyone understands and there won't be any hard feelings, could help them realize there's no reason to be jealous or impose on your time with others. In essence, you're helping them realize you're all adults, and that requires mature behavior.

If they have problems with it that aren't easily fixable (e.g. they don't want you to have other friends or alone time with others), you may want to consider not being friends with them at all because friends want each other to be happy.

 

[emby]

Just to clarify: Have you been involved sexually with the 3rd couple? If not, do you think they had intentions to be sexual with either you or your playmates?

Have you talked with the 3rd couple about this to make sure you understand each others' feelings? I'm guessing sitting down, telling them you really enjoy the company of them and the other couple (but sometimes in a group, and sometimes separately), and you just want to make sure everyone understands and there won't be any hard feelings, could help them realize there's no reason to be jealous or impose on your time with others. In essence, you're helping them realize you're all adults, and that requires mature behavior.

If they have problems with it that aren't easily fixable (e.g. they don't want you to have other friends or alone time with others), you may want to consider not being friends with them at all because friends want each other to be happy.

We have never been involed w/ the 3rd couple or never will......the (woman) is my step sister.....

The guy in the 3rd couple is the VERY jealous one of our relationship with our play friends.....although he only suspects that there is somethin going on he does not know for sure....We DONT want to just sit and tell the 3rd couple either.
It a delicate sitution to say the least

 

[gingermango]

We have never been involed w/ the 3rd couple or never will......the (woman) is my step sister.....

The guy in the 3rd couple is the VERY jealous one of our relationship with our play friends.....although he only suspects that there is somethin going on he does not know for sure....We DONT want to just sit and tell the 3rd couple either.
It a delicate sitution to say the least

The best solution, then, is probably just find a new place to get together and play, away from the neighborhood where your step-sister and step-brother-in-law are likely to notice and get jealous of the new relationship. Like I suggested before, hotels are cheap and fun, especially if you split the cost. Alternately, use your own place.

 

[SweetErika]

We have never been involed w/ the 3rd couple or never will......the (woman) is my step sister.....

The guy in the 3rd couple is the VERY jealous one of our relationship with our play friends.....although he only suspects that there is somethin going on he does not know for sure....We DONT want to just sit and tell the 3rd couple either.
It a delicate sitution to say the least

Okay. And my suggestions WERE assuming you weren't involved with, and didn't want to tell the 3rd couple. You could simply talk to them about friendship and time allocation, because what you do in your time with your playmates isn't really relevant. Keep it friendly and mature, like you're respectful and concerned about their feelings. In all likelihood, your stepsister will reel her hubby right in and not affirm his jealousy if she's reasonable and doesn't feel the same way.

If you don't want to do that, or it continues to be a problem, Gingermango gave you great advice. I prefer to clear things up and try to eliminate bad feelings or tension so I can enjoy time with friends and loved ones, but I realize we don't know the entire situation and that's not the way everyone operates.