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[Willing and Unsure]

So, I have no idea how to title this one and this is something that's been bothering me for a few days. I figure I'll ask and get a few other opinions before going on with my decisions and stuff.

Okay, so here's the situation. Back in February, my best friend got angry with me over something that someone else had said (dont ask me why it happened this way) and we didnt speak to each other for a couple of months. Well, she came back to me at one point wanting to make up and be friends again. I said okay, but kept it in mind that things will never be the same between us because of how she reacted towards me on something I didn't do. Now, the last time I spoke to her (I dont classify her as my best friend anymore, mind you) was about 4 days before I moved (which was about 6 weeks ago). After finally getting access to my email and everything, I sent out a mass email to friends and family to make sure they had all gotten my correct address and phone number. It dawned on me a few days after I sent the email that I didnt put her on the list (I didn't email her either with the info, I'm still kind of debating it actually) and I dont feel badly in any way that I forgot her either.

I know that friendships work two ways and all, so don't tell me that one. She moved herself over a year ago and I have yet to get her address from her, despite asking for it twice. Before I moved, I did make sure to tell her that I wouldn't have internet for awhile and didnt know anything of where I'd be living or anything before I left but that she could call me on my cell phone since that wouldnt be changing at all and I would still have my voicemail on it. She has yet to call or attempt to make any contact wtih me for that matter since I last spoke with her some time ago.

Now, should I be feeling some sort of something because I didnt remember to give her my new information, or just let things go?

 

[Ezzy]

I would put the ball in her court by emailing her your new info, then follow up a month later with an I've got the last box unpacked email.

Then there can be a smug satisfaction af being secure in the knowledge that you at least tried to be friendly.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I would put the ball in her court by emailing her your new info, then follow up a month later with an I've got the last box unpacked email.

Then there can be a smug satisfaction af being secure in the knowledge that you at least tried to be friendly.

that's where I'm torn. I had thought to do that at one point, but I'm not so sure (since thinking about this) that I'm not still angry about how she reacted to what someone else had said. We've been friends, best friends, and known each other for about 8 years.

I guess I'm just finding it strange how it doesn't bother me so much that I did forget to give her the information, but that it bothers me that I'm not bothered by forgetting.

 

[chrk1]

i'd forget it and get on with my life.

 

[BlueSugar]

Now, should I be feeling some sort of something because I didnt remember to give her my new information, or just let things go?

Try letting things go, she didn't call your cell and she knew you were moving, so no biggie on that.
Maybe try giving her a little quick call to say you were settled in, and see if she asks for your info.

blahblahblah friendships have two sides blahblahblah so you're just doing the friendly thing to call her and tell her you're settled, nothing more nothing less.

You don't have her info despite asking though, so maybe its just time to part ways as well. Maybe talk about that after she doesn't ask for your info.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Friendships can and do wax and wane over time. Some drop by the wayside, and some end up sticking around and becoming lifelong friends. The thing is, close friends, the ones who have grown to love you and whom you love, they're the ones who know you and appreciate you like no one else can. It's good to remember that you have shared enough together that you did consider her your best friend at one time, and you might not want to dismiss the friendship altogether.

Send her your new contact info and leave the door open. What do you have to lose?

 

[EJFan]

what's right is right no matter who says it's wrong... and what's wrong is wrong no matter how many people tell you it's right.

so if you want her to have your address, give it to her. i don't think it has to be all about who did what when and all this other peripheral stuff that's clouding the issue. just consider what you want and act accordingly.

that's the best i can do really.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

so if you want her to have your address, give it to her. i don't think it has to be all about who did what when and all this other peripheral stuff that's clouding the issue. just consider what you want and act accordingly.

I think that this is the part I haven't really made a decision on and where I'm having issues trying to decide, not to mention that I didn't intentionally forget her in the email I sent to everyone else either. I just realized that I did that and have yet to make an attempt to send her the info (this is what is making me wonder how things really are with us and all).


Thanks all for the comments though. It's helped to put a few things into perspective at least.

 

[girl_on_fire]

If you're not missing her, I see no reason to make an effort. If she wants to contact you, she could contact one of your mutual friends and find out your info. It sounds like you've moved on, and that's completely ok! Don't feel bad for being uninterested.

The ball's in her court.

 

[Iron Bear]

Life's too short. Drop it, and forget it.

 

[shell seeker2]

I know how you are feeling! I moved 4 years ago, and I found out who my true friends are. Time has a way of changing friendships, and friendships change over time. I'm getting the feeling that part of you wants to maintain some contact with her, but that you aren't sure that you want constant contact. I would email her the information (especially if you sent it to mutual friends, just to keep the peace), and leave the ball in her court. If you want to talk to her, you might want to tell her that you would like her information too.
Good luck

 

[Guest]

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I sense that when the two of you decided to make up an be friends again, you may have felt you were desreving of an appology. If so, and you did not receive one, instead just agreeing to be friends again, this may be an underlying reason for not feeling the need to contact her. (of course, I could be way off base here.)

Did the two of you ever discuss and sort out the reason(s) she was angry with you?

You're actually pretty right on the money. I did (and still do) feel like I'm deserving of an apology just because I did not do anything wrong for her to have gotten angry at me like she did. I think that's a good part of the reason why I feel like I'm still angry at her over what had happened.

We did discuss the reasons a little bit, but not really. She's not really the type to ever actually solve a problem that's arisen. She's more likely to run from it or try to cover it up and make it go away than to discuss a problem and actually work through it. I'm the type that has to address a problem/situation and actually do something about it (guess that's what happens when you're an engineer).