300 Naked Women Feared Lost In Computer Crash

Laurel

Kitty Mama
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Aug 27, 1999
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Woo Hoo! The Onion is Back!

300 Naked Women Feared Lost In Computer Crash

ELLICOTT CITY, MD-- An estimated 300 naked women, including actresses Pamela Anderson and Shannon Elizabeth, are feared lost as the result of a tragic computer crash Monday. "One minute, they were there, and the next, they were gone," said a visibly shaken Jonathan Blauvelt, 33, the Ellicott City resident whose Power Mac G4 was the site of the disaster. "To lose so many young girls in the blink of an eye like that, it's hard to comprehend. Angelina Jolie, Anna Kournikova, the chick from Species--it's just too much to bear." As data-recovery workers comb through the hard drive for signs of ass, Blauvelt is asking well-wishers to pray for the naked ladies' safe return.

http://theonion.com/
 
Call for volunteers?

I'm willing to devote some time to finding just the right replacements for the lost ladies...
 
if the naked women are not safe then who is????
certainly not the pictures of the Hottentot women with the enormous rear ends

nor any other famous photo that has been forwarded to each of us at least once
 
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