2nd Person Narration: Your thoughts?

[OnlyByMoonlight]

So, normally 2nd person narration annoys me, but I've found myself writing that way for a certain novella in which the style of narration (i.e. the fact that he's telling this to someone involved in the story) is actually crucial to the plot. So I'm in uncharted territory for me. Just wondering...

What do other authors/readers here think of 2nd p. POV?
Any helpful techniques for someone who has never written that way?

Plus, does anybody know of any examples of 2nd person narration that work really well (either here on Lit or elsewhere)?

 

[bronzeage]

I find it annoying too. It's like being stuck in a car with some who won't shut up, or worse, schizophrenic voices.

Another annoying thing about 2nd person is that some people think a transcript of phone sex is sexy.

You come into the bedroom and see me tied to the bed. The look of fear in my eyes excites you.

 

[oggbashan]

It is difficult to use second person narration effectively.

It is possible. It can work. But first or third person is easier to get right.

When I come across second person narration in a Literotica story my usual reaction is to back-click after the first page unless the author has been exceptionally good at making the story work.

Og

 

[lil_elvis]

So, normally 2nd person narration annoys me, but I've found myself writing that way for a certain novella in which the style of narration (i.e. the fact that he's telling this to someone involved in the story) is actually crucial to the plot. So I'm in uncharted territory for me. Just wondering...

What do other authors/readers here think of 2nd p. POV?
Any helpful techniques for someone who has never written that way?

If it's essential to the story, go for it.

I have one 2nd person story posted and it is not my favorite (nor my best) work, but its brevity kept it from suffering too much of the points raised by bronzeage.

Incorporating some 1st and/or 3rd person POV's can also provide a welcome break from the tedium of 2nd person.

 

[Boota]

I don't read anything in second person. Can't stand it. Very few authors have ever pulled it off to the point where I continue reading. A couple of years ago I bought a book and didn't realize it was in second person until I started to read it that night. After one page I threw it away.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Second person works great for trance inductions, "Youe eyes are heavy, you want to sleep, you want to gift me all your cash." But it has limited utility unless you do hypnosis or infomercials.

 

[patrick1]

You walk into the room
with your pencil in your hand
you see somebody naked and you say
who is that man?
You try so hard but you don't understand
just what you will say when you get home...

because something is happening here and you don't know what it is
do you, Mr Jones?

- there are eight verses I think to this Dylan song including You walk into the room like a camel and then you frown - which to me goes to show, you just can't come up with a rule without finding someone who's broken it brilliantly - to me here the 'you' will work if it's a vehicle for strong emotion from the writer, of spite, anger, passion.

patrick (pardon me if I've conflated verses in a half-remembered song, I usually do)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Tom Robbins wrote one novel in second person; "Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas."

It had some problems, like a feeling that there should be a second book, but I thought the POV aspect was fairly successful...

 

[bflagsst]

In poetry second person narration is essential.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Most technical manuals are written in second person, that's probably why no one ever reads them.

 

[Stella_Omega]

In poetry second person narration is essential.

It might be... easier, or more effective, but hardly essential. In fact, I can't think of one single 2ndP poem at this moment.

 

[Verdad]

So, normally 2nd person narration annoys me, but I've found myself writing that way for a certain novella in which the style of narration (i.e. the fact that he's telling this to someone involved in the story) is actually crucial to the plot. So I'm in uncharted territory for me. Just wondering...

What do other authors/readers here think of 2nd p. POV?
Any helpful techniques for someone who has never written that way?

Plus, does anybody know of any examples of 2nd person narration that work really well (either here on Lit or elsewhere)?

What you describe sounds like first person narration in which the narrator addresses another character in second person. It works well in epistolary form (letters) and perhaps in a story such as this one, where the entire story is a monologue of a mad narrator who occasionally addresses a 'you'. The important thing either way is to make sure the reader understands the narrator is not addressing them, but rather someone within the story universe.

In 'proper' second person, there's no first person narrator, no 'I'. The characters are 'you' and he or she. E.g. "You met her in the club." That too was done successfully a few times (very few, one might add), but frankly, if you don't feel it's absolutely essential to tell the story that way and no other, there's no need to push it just to show 'it can be done'. It's very hard to do well and very quick to annoy the reader.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I don't read anything in second person. Can't stand it. Very few authors have ever pulled it off to the point where I continue reading. A couple of years ago I bought a book and didn't realize it was in second person until I started to read it that night. After one page I threw it away.

I'm with Boota. Never even start a second person story. Sort of, "Oh yeah? Sez you I do."

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Choosing 2nd person should be considered carefully - it works in songs and poetry, but rarely in written fiction (If I remember, Selena Kitt has a superb audio anal story which naturally falls into 2nd P).

As I see it, it seems to work best in a conversationalist setting, which means you don't use first person but simply address the partner. Glynndah does that brilliantly in her Toys from Wal-Mart story.

If you start writing, 'You ripped my panties off', you'd do better in third person. It is important to identify the sex of your protag and and antag and if you tell me I slid my ten-inch shaft in your little pussy I will just backclick in disbelief.

For me, Impressive set the standard on 2nd person with a story which I think was called 'Second Person'. Worth studying.

 

[sr71plt]

I think it can work for short, intense pieces.

 

[bflagsst]

It might be... easier, or more effective, but hardly essential. In fact, I can't think of one single 2ndP poem at this moment.

By Any Means

You opened the book,
and your picture fell from the page,

Unnerving even you,
when you think you've hidden from me,

Having accounted for the unsubstantial,
from your toes to your heart,

Having discovered that peerless part of you,
best read from front to back,

You once believed in certain things,
and the stories you grew up with,

But I trust you to be happy in the end,
by any means


I write a bunch in second person. I can come up with fancier people than bflagsst on Literotica who write in the second person if you're interested. Wait, maybe this isn't entirely second person.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

2nd person perspective writing is a good way to get me to back-click

 

[CharleyH]

I find it annoying too. It's like being stuck in a car with some who won't shut up, or worse, schizophrenic voices.

Another annoying thing about 2nd person is that some people think a transcript of phone sex is sexy.

You come into the bedroom and see me tied to the bed. The look of fear in my eyes excites you.

lol - I agree, but for the purpose of HELPING .... I suggest that OnlyByMoonlight, and you, read Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney. If you click 'look inside' you will get a taste of it.

 

[OnlyByMoonlight]

Thank you so much to everyone who responded. Even though the overall consensus is that 2nd p (which I realize now I'm not doing a true 2nd p. Its more a mix of 2nd p and 1st p, but with a lot of 'you's int here) is annoying (even from me) I'm still going to be writing the story that way.

The character who is narrating is not... well... normal. He's not psychotic or mentally handicapped, he's just socially handicapped and really dark to boot, so the way he sees the world and the relationship is very interesting, so I'm hoping that'll draw people in.

Thanks again for the help!