25th High School Reunion

[Miss Diva]

Ok so my high school 25th year graduation anniversary in November 12. I got the call last night. Just the perfect finish to a perfect day (read sarcasm). Now here is the thing. I never felt I belonged. 25 years ago I weighed 140 pounds and that was considered obese back then and I was insecure and basically a loner. I had a couple of friends but I never kept in touch with anyone after that.

So 25 years later and 40 pounds heavier, this great bombshell happens. I am not married (not even close), no kids, and still living with my mom (who is now 80). About the only to my plate is my career, which also not shiny it is not shabby either. I have traveled a lot (that is why I live with my mom, cheaper), I do oil painting. And inside I have grown. I like who I am and the 40 pounds well too bad. On the surface it looks like I have not accomplished much however I feel that I have.

I am wondering if I should go. A few people at work have said I should go and own the event. And a few said why bother. I feel like I am in high school again.

The person who invited asked the questions of course was I married and do I have kids. But there is more to life to that is there not? I could tell them I am a submissive looking for a Dom, however that may not be politically correct.

I am torn. I want to go and not go. Any comments or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Killishandra]

Hmmmmm.

I think it's important to remember that not everyone attending will be married, with 2.5 kids and a stellar career. So if part of you wants to go, go! Remember that no one can make you feel small unless you let them. If you think you'll have a good time, and those couple old good friends are also going... Well, what do you really have to lose by attending? And if you go and have a good time you'll get to rehash, perhaps see old people in a new light, even renew a friendship or something, and if everything else fails.... Open bar?

 

[sincerely_helene]

I made the choice to not go to mine after attending my best friend's as her "date."

Here, I'll sum it up for you to save you effort: the cool kids sit at the cool table, the smoker kids sit at the smoking table, the geeky kids sit at the geek table, and loners sit, well, alone.

People will greet you, and sometimes even hug the former outcasts, but all in all the only reason to ever go to a reunion is if your memories of high school were pleasant ones. Otherwise, you are basically doomed to relive the same shit, only twice as traumatizing as you get to hear about how the former head of the cheerleading quad is happily married to the former quarterback, has three kids, and is skinnier than she was back then.

I swear, I even heard the boy who had a rep as being a slut brag about how his latest conquest isn't old enough to drive. People don't change like how they show on TV, so if that's what you are basing your decision on you're going to be hugely dissapointed.

 

[Private_Label]

I am torn. I want to go and not go. Any comments or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Take me with you. I guarantee no one will notice your 40 lbs. when you stand next to me (I wish I had weighed 140 in High School - the closest I ever got to that was 160.)

I can sympathize - I wasn't a loner - I was the kid who had friends in just about every circle -the geeks, the music/art/theater group, the jocks (hey I went to school with most of them all the way from elementary school), the grunge/outcast/alternative, the white trash... I wasn't identified with any group.

I ended up not going to my 20th because... well I went to my prom alone hoping to get to dance with a few people but no one at the prom was dancing. In the end I called home after a few hours saying "this is the boringest thing I have ever been part of, come get me!!!!"

If you have someone from those days that you used to dish with, and you know they will be there, then go, you will have a blast. If you don't have anyone to dish with go, but take a scrap book with lots of pictures from all your trips - I guarantee you will look like you have a stellar life when compared to the 2.5 kids, the mortgage, the divorce...

Lots of people are moving back in with their parents - given your mom's age you can say that you are looking after her now (even if you are not) because she has reached an age where most parents need a bit of help from their children. It isn't as big a deal as it was 25 years ago.

 

[Miss Diva]

One thing I forgot to mention was that they had one on the 19 year (don't ask) and I attended and you are right. It was like going back to highschool. The cool kids hung out together and the geeks hung out together.

But I have embraced my geekness and I sing it out with joy. Does that make me cool?

Funny thing is that I hung out with people I went to elementary (grade) school with and we could only remember grade school. We had all completely erased high school.

As for an open bar, I hope so, and I have cigars also

 

[graceanne]

I went with K to his 15 year anniversary . . . about 5 years ago. It was great. He didn't see anyone he knew, but he made friends with people he didn't even know existed in highschool, etc. We all had a great time.

My ten year is coming. I won't be going. First of all, from what I hear, ten year anniversary's suck. Beyond that I don't want anyone to see me as I am. I'm proud of my husband and my kids, but I would die for people to see me looking this way.

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

I say, why bother?

You are not close to anyone there, you are comfortable with yourself, screw them, the seaweed is not greener on their side of the ocean.

Why put yourself through it?

Get some icream, grab 2 spoons, and watch a dumb movie with your mom, I assure you the other choice will not be as satisfying.

 

[Guest]

 

[Joe Schmoe]

I am one that likes taking steps forward rather than back and high school reunions have always made me feel like I took those steps back.

Those I remained friends with after, I see enough and those I am not close to, I don't see any real reason to meet them again. I have moved on and see this as part of my history, no longer my present.

I do not know if this helps or not but I tossed it up as food for thought.

 

[chris9]

I went to my elementary school 10 year reunion, with only my class of maybe 20 people all together. In the end of elementary it pretty much sucked for me, no friends, everybody mean to me. I actually had a pretty good time at the reunion. I hadn't seen most of those people in some years, and since marriage and kids and career does not happen usually 10 years after grade school and I did study, I was doing pretty well. I had a good excuse to leave early though, so as soon as talk turned to our experience in school (mostly birthday parties I hadn't been invited to) I left.
I'm not sure I would go to a 'highschool' reunion, though. The people I have been friends with I'm still friends with, with most of the others I haven't even talked two sentences in school. Why should I now? Probably my best friend would make me go though.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I went to my tenth, and got to take a dear friend as a "date"... teased her all night that it had taken me 14 years to work up the guts to ask her out. (4 years of high school and the ten years after...) *LOL*

We had fun, though I nearly arrested one of our class mates who came in looking like a hooker. Some of the drop-dead lookers had gotten ugly or bald, some of the skanks had cleaned up really nice, some of the skinny kids had gotten fat, some of the fat kids had gotten skinny... the usual.

What really surprised me were the number of classmates we had already lost... one killed at work when a car ran into the office she was in. Another killed in a motorcycle accident. There was the one we lost to war, another that had a heart attack. The gal killed at work was someone I had a crush on all through high school. She was so sweet, so sexy, and there was always just a tinge of sadness to her... some secret she just couldn't share that I wanted to help her carry. And I didn't have the courage or maturity then to make the first move, and by the time I had it, she was gone.

I would have liked to have gone to our 25th, if for no other reason than to touch base with some friends I've lost contact with. Unfortunately I go the invite the Monday AFTER the reunion. Getting divorced and moving 4 times since the last reunion didn't help the mail get to me on time.

Like anything else in life, going to your reunion will be a mixture of things, part crapshoot, part dog and pony show, and how it turns out for YOU will be determined by your attitude. Own yourself, own your life, don't bother trying to impress anyone, go with the attitude that you'll have fun... and you will be surprised at how much fun you will have. Don't wait to be asked to dance, grab ass and drag 'em on the floor!

 

[babiesmiles]

I wouldn't go to any of that reunions even under a gun threat.

I was not the geeky , I was not the lonely, I was rather in the cool , popular , socially and politically committed ( which in my high school meant popularity ) group, but after I left the school and started the Law University ( I think its alike Law School in US ) I rarely saw any of them and the few times I did due to same odd nostalgic dinner , I felt I had completely nothing to share with them anymore .

So having nothing to prove nor any revenge feeling to satisfy I 'd just prefer not die of boredorm, and as IYM said above a good ice cream box and a movie ( or book ) I like appeals me farther more b.

 

[Miss Diva]

Evil_Geoff, you got me thinking about who may have passed away from my graduating class and I just got a call tonight that a classmate had a massive heart attach and died. He was found by his wife and children. And our reunion is on November 12, I called the organizing committee and they had left a message on his answering machine.

 

[graceanne]

I got this e-mail, and it reminded me of this thread:

The Reunion

Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait as they've set the date;
Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty; I'm ready to party,
I'll dance until dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; and I hope at least one
Other person can make it that night.

Author Unknown

 

[DVS]

Class reunions are strange. My experience has been the older we get, the cliques have trouble surviving and we all look less like we did in high school.
I went to my five year, and that was a BIG mistake. The cliques were still strong and a friend and I just sat and talked the whole time. It seemed nobody even noticed us. We both saw our attendance as a big mistake and vowed never to return.

I stuck by my vow for 25 years. But, then my mother died and then my dad, and time had somehow changed my perspective. I got an email from a classmate (former head cheerleader, no less) almost begging me to come to the 30 year class get together. Even with the changes in my life, I still had my doubts. That five-year thing was evil.

But, for some reason, I let her convince me into going, and she was one of the beautiful people who thrived in that world of cliques. To make things worse, she was now married to an upper classman, who was head of the town bank and also a judge. But, he was always nice to me, in school.

Anyway, I didn't go to part of the thing, where they had a picnic for the family, which I don't have one. I'm glad I didn't go to that. I would surely have been asked the obvious questions many times over.

And, I'm sure I would have eventually snapped and answered the question "why aren't you married?" with "Oh, I guess there's just too many submissive women out there that need their ass whipped, that I can't decide on just one" or something else cheery like that. Like someone else has already said in this thread, there's just more to life than a wife and kids. That's not off my list, but there ARE other things.

What I did go to was a mixer of sorts, that evening. No dancing, just a keg, and a bring your own bottle thing where everybody sat around and talked. It was actually kind of nice. We all got in a group for the class pic and I paid my cash for a copy. When I got mine in the mail I noticed something. We had all gotten older. There were a few of those lucky ones that really hadn't changed that much at all, but the rest of us had either lost our hair, or gained weight, or both.

There was the list on the wall, of those who had died since graduation. I had a very close friend on that list. And, there were others I hadn't heard about. That's always sad to hear when you are expecting to see someone and that's why they didn't show up.

And, I will never understand why some women get so pissed, when you don't recognize them. I happened to walk up to a group of ladies talking. I think there were five of them. God help me, I remembered them all, except for this one.

She had such a hurt look on her face. I wanted to say something to her...ask her if her hair had always been blonde, but I knew better. It's been thirty fucking years, people! And, I swear, I don't remember her having blonde hair. It was brown, if anything at all, and dark brown at that!

The moral to this little story? In my opinion, the longer you wait to go to one of these things, the better. The cliques have faded, and you'd be surprised how that high school mindset has faded, too. Oh, not completely, but I was impressed with how well I was received by some of the former beautiful people. See, they weren't as beautiful any more, and they had also grown up some.

But, the longer you wait to go to a reunion can be a bad thing, too. If you do decide to go, get your yearbook out and bone up on your classmates. Their gonna look older and fatter. Some with less hair and their faces will be wrinkled and weathered...from chasing their kids around for 10 years. But it may still help you to remember those who have changed. I think I should have done that. Jeri would have appreciated it, I think.

If you go, be sure to have fun. These are just people from your past. They can't judge you. Only you and your God can do that. They haven't lived in your shoes. And, I think you'll notice some of their shoes haven't been fitting so well, these past years, either. Life can be a pretty big equalizer.

 

[Miss Diva]

For GraceAnne

Thanks that was a beautiful poem. I printed it out and will get it platized and bring it the reunion.

 

[graceanne]

Thanks that was a beautiful poem. I printed it out and will get it platized and bring it the reunion.

You're welcome. *hugs*

 

[Miss Diva]

I HAD A GREAT TIME.

I am so glad I went. We had all mellowed out and everyone seemed more relaxed and just wanted to talk about old time. The funny thing is we talked mostly about things that went on in grade school and not high school. I got home at 3:30 a.m.

I definitely had a great time. I am so glad I went.

 

[FurryFury]

Good for you! I'm glad it went so well! Yay!

Sounds like it went way better than my last one, I can't remember what year it was, 20 year? Maybe they will be nicer and more inclusive at the 25th? Which sould be about ...now!

Fury

 

[h_i_s]

i think it's great to hear that you had an awesome time, Miss Diva.

i attended my tenth high school reunion. It was weird, at best.

All of the conversation revolved around who gained/who lost the most weight. Who had the biggest house, who had the highest paying job. Who divorced... , who couldn't attend because they were in rehab or jail ... & who died.

The highlight of the evening was watching the guys who after they had formed a circle on the dance floor, took turns seeing who could still do the moon walk, spin on their foreheads, and prove that they were still limber enough to perform the most difficult breakdance moves. It was even more entertaining to watch at least half of them getting dragged back to their tables by their concerned wives. heh ..

The only other thing that was almost as exciting: Lights were lowered after the meal. The waiters all came out and did a circular dance with huge flaming platters of Eskimo Pie. Two of them were not the best dancers. The one behind, bumped into the waiter in front of him. Then, all of the waiters did a mexican hat type dance in a mad effort to stomp out all of the flaming dessert.

i was never impressed with the breakdance era. i don't even like Eskimo pie.
The twentieth reunion will most likely take place sometime next fall.

i'm not interested to know about ... who gained/who lost the most weight. Who has the biggest house, who has the highest paying job. Who divorced... who remarried, who couldn't attend because they were in rehab or jail ... & who has died since the last reunion.

Let them guess about whether i have gained weight, rent or own a big house, how much i earn, whether i've ever married or divorced, been in rehab or jail, or am dead or alive.

i'm too busy living. i'm not going.

 

[watergirl]

my 10th

My 10th will be the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I have kept in touch with 1 (one!) person from high school, and she's 3 years younger than me.

I hope it will be interesting. My class was about 270. There are about 90 names on the list of MIA dropped off the planet folks. Reading that list makes me realize I"m not sure I care what happened to the ones they did find... But since I've got a flight home for the few days, I suppose I'm pretty committed to going.

I hope it doesn't suck.. We'll see!

 

[h_i_s]

Ahh ... well. i graduated with over 800. Half didn't even know the other half of the class anyway, even back then. By the tenth reunion ... most were lucky to remember half of THAT. lol

The big revelation this year in local news: The high school is too big and needs to be adjusted to suit a more personable sense of community. The classrooms are overbooked, and too crowded, teacher/student ratio is screwed.

They are talking seriously about adding an additional public high school.

i say: It's about friggin TIME.

 

[graceanne]

i'm not interested to know about ... who gained/who lost the most weight. Who has the biggest house, who has the highest paying job. Who divorced... who remarried, who couldn't attend because they were in rehab or jail ... & who has died since the last reunion.

Welllll . . . . you know one way to get them to stop gossiping about weight loss and stuff?

Tell em that you master spanks you when you're bad. They won't be able to talk about anything else all evening.

 

[jadefirefly]

I dunno if my school did a 5 year one, but if they did, I didn't get the invite. I'll know in a couple of years if they do 10 years.

And I don't know if I'll go. I would go in a heartbeat if I could go to the reunion for the school I went to up till the end of my junior year. I was in the same school system as those folks from 2nd grade through 11th. I miss them more than anyone from my senior year.

Buuuut, family moved in '97, I had to complete my last year at a whole new school, and most of my friends from that year weren't in my grade. So I've no idea if I'll go.

Of course, most days I can't decide if I want to set foot in the grocery store, so my perspective is skewed as you can see. Social anxiety sucks.

(That last little bit of randomness has been brought to you by the number 42.)

 

[h_i_s]

Welllll . . . . you know one way to get them to stop gossiping about weight loss and stuff?

Tell em that you master spanks you when you're bad. They won't be able to talk about anything else all evening.

True. Ya know that's the one thing that could just make me change my mind about not going??? heh ..... and if i DO ..i may even wear the leather collar in place of the one i wear daily/public (if it pleases Him of course ..) Bet that would make for a way of kicking off some conversations in itself ... heh