hi there ladies my name is Bill and i am from socal and yes i am kinda embarassed to admit it but yes i am a virgin. And i am looking for some help. no i just dont want sex (well i do want to some day but i am not looking for sex through this post) what i am looking for is a woman who can help me in understanding women alittle better and give me a little confidence to enter the world and find a woman to call my own. please remember this is not a cry for sex but a cry for help thanks to all that reply. Bill from socal
20 year old virgin in need of some confidence
- Thread starter Braiden
- Start date
ickle_stace
hugalicious
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2005
- Posts
- 6,487
i wish i was still a virgin
hey Braiden...good post
I kinda got the same problem dude. I'm 21....and believe me I know about embarrasment. I was with a girl for 3 years......she claimed to have had many partners before me and stuff.....i believed her...but whenever me and her got the opportunity......she would chiken out...weird? I found out later she lied about everything.....and we had a horrible break up......it's hard cause i dont feel like its my fault......ive had many many oppurtunities with girls......but i just chiken out......i guess i just need a more aggressive girl......because im not the kind of guy to go up to a girl and be all "hey baby fuck me"......lol......im the "nice guy" who finishes last...too worried about being rude...so i feel for you braiden.......im sure u will find the right girl........as for me.....any ladies who also could shed sum advice would be appreciated.......this isn't a plea for sex either ..believe me......just looking for someone to talk with.....have a good day!
I kinda got the same problem dude. I'm 21....and believe me I know about embarrasment. I was with a girl for 3 years......she claimed to have had many partners before me and stuff.....i believed her...but whenever me and her got the opportunity......she would chiken out...weird? I found out later she lied about everything.....and we had a horrible break up......it's hard cause i dont feel like its my fault......ive had many many oppurtunities with girls......but i just chiken out......i guess i just need a more aggressive girl......because im not the kind of guy to go up to a girl and be all "hey baby fuck me"......lol......im the "nice guy" who finishes last...too worried about being rude...so i feel for you braiden.......im sure u will find the right girl........as for me.....any ladies who also could shed sum advice would be appreciated.......this isn't a plea for sex either ..believe me......just looking for someone to talk with.....have a good day!
You sound ashamed that you are a still a virgin. Nothing wrong with that. My suggestion would be go to the bookstore and get a few books dealing with sexuality. Maybe if you are comfortable with the workings of a woman (and yourself) you will feel more confident.
OceanGoddess
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2005
- Posts
- 653
Braiden, get to a bookstore like Borders or Barnes and Noble and get this book:
Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm by Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson
It is a fabulous book about female anatomy and orgasm . . .enjoy!
And if I might suggest: Take your time. What I wish for you is that you feel love for the person with whom you first have sex. Sex can be many things . ..kinky, erotic, magical, carnal, lustful . . .but there is no better sex than the sex one experiences with loving feelings as well as lustful ones.
(Oh and use a condom, every time, unless she's been tested recently for HIV and you know for a fact she's negative .. also for all other STDs. Nothing to ruin things faster than disease, can't be too careful! Also if you use condoms, no need to worry a lot about unintended pregnancy.)
Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm by Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson
It is a fabulous book about female anatomy and orgasm . . .enjoy!
And if I might suggest: Take your time. What I wish for you is that you feel love for the person with whom you first have sex. Sex can be many things . ..kinky, erotic, magical, carnal, lustful . . .but there is no better sex than the sex one experiences with loving feelings as well as lustful ones.
(Oh and use a condom, every time, unless she's been tested recently for HIV and you know for a fact she's negative .. also for all other STDs. Nothing to ruin things faster than disease, can't be too careful! Also if you use condoms, no need to worry a lot about unintended pregnancy.)
funtastic said:
It's not as rare as some think to find a guy who is a virgin over 20. I'm 24 and have not had intercourse of my own choice because I haven't been in the right situation to feel like going that far. Belive me, the nice guy thing is something to keep, because there are too many not-too-nice guys to go around. That way we actually appreciate women for who they are, not just a body with holes we want to fill.
BTW, even if you haven't had sex, that doesn't mean you can't learn how to please a woman in other ways. ;-)
iceberg32784
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2005
- Posts
- 25
Syn42ME said:
I have to agree with Syn. I'm one of those guys who believe a woman should be treated well. Eventually those girls that went after not-so-nice-guys will get fedup with them and find you. Though I am not a virgin, I am selective and have only been with one woman. I've heard people say time and love are the greatest ways of forplay. I guess its just something I am willing to find out for myself.
The book that was mentioned earlier is a good one on the subject. I actually ended up reading for a book review for a biology class of mine last semester. It explains a lot.
sandals4321
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 250
i was also a virgin when i was 20. don't sweat it 
good things come to those who wait
good things come to those who wait
Nathon_88
Hunting
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2001
- Posts
- 3,453
Don't worry about it. There will come a time when you find a woman you want to be with, and she wants to be with you. Until that time, don't worry.
IF you absolutely have to, do it right, and be safe.
Hell, I regret losing my virginity and I thought it was the right time right place, man.
Patience is a virtue.
*smiles* Just try your best to make your time, and hers, a memorable one.
IF you absolutely have to, do it right, and be safe.
Hell, I regret losing my virginity and I thought it was the right time right place, man.
Patience is a virtue.
*smiles* Just try your best to make your time, and hers, a memorable one.
hey nothing to be ashamed of ..... i was a virgin till i way 24 .... that was my chioce btw ..... so if u wanna wait do it ..... cause there is nothing more special then that first time .... not just the sex part either ... the closeness the cureoisty .... ect .... wait it worth it
ickle_stace
hugalicious
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2005
- Posts
- 6,487
don't be ashamed to be a virgin at 20
i lost mine when i was 16, to a man who pressured me into it
i always wanted to wait until i was older and in love with someone, and i would give anything to have my virginity back, but its gone and i have no choice in the matter, so don't waste it, save it for someone special
pm me if you ever wanna talk to someone
i lost mine when i was 16, to a man who pressured me into it
i always wanted to wait until i was older and in love with someone, and i would give anything to have my virginity back, but its gone and i have no choice in the matter, so don't waste it, save it for someone special
pm me if you ever wanna talk to someone
Ahh, nothin' to worry about, I'm almost 20 and still pure and wholesome! 
Wouldn't want it any other way either, I've not yet been with anyone worth giving my body to - and I'm not just gonna find some random bloke, just for the sake of it! Nooo...this'll be my secret for as long as I have to wait for Mr Rightyo to come along. And that's cool. 'Cos I'm in no rush!
Wouldn't want it any other way either, I've not yet been with anyone worth giving my body to - and I'm not just gonna find some random bloke, just for the sake of it! Nooo...this'll be my secret for as long as I have to wait for Mr Rightyo to come along. And that's cool. 'Cos I'm in no rush!
kittenartist
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2005
- Posts
- 445
Twenty is fine
Waiting for sex is not a big deal - as many people here have mentioned. My husband was twenty-five his first time and it was perfect. I know there where times he woudl have liked to do it sooner but waiting was the best choice. We got to share our first together which is something I am beyond happy about - and I am not even the romantic type. Also, one of my close friends is fast approaching his 30th birthday and he is still a virgin. And very happy about that fact. To each his own, work on nobody's time but your own.
Now. That being said, to address the purpose of your post. More confidance. I spent a long time talking with a friend, teaching him about women, exploring sexuality with him online many years ago. As a result he told me that he felt so confidant his first time (which ended up being a three-some which was kinda interesting). I do not know exactly what I did to help him but I would be willing to do the same for you. According to him it was my very open nature and honesty that helped - I suppose that makes sense. So, if you would like to talk feel free to contact me.
Waiting for sex is not a big deal - as many people here have mentioned. My husband was twenty-five his first time and it was perfect. I know there where times he woudl have liked to do it sooner but waiting was the best choice. We got to share our first together which is something I am beyond happy about - and I am not even the romantic type. Also, one of my close friends is fast approaching his 30th birthday and he is still a virgin. And very happy about that fact. To each his own, work on nobody's time but your own.
Now. That being said, to address the purpose of your post. More confidance. I spent a long time talking with a friend, teaching him about women, exploring sexuality with him online many years ago. As a result he told me that he felt so confidant his first time (which ended up being a three-some which was kinda interesting). I do not know exactly what I did to help him but I would be willing to do the same for you. According to him it was my very open nature and honesty that helped - I suppose that makes sense. So, if you would like to talk feel free to contact me.
Similar threads
