1st timer...

[JUDO]

1st timer, 2nd timer, 3rd timer...

Okay, I've been thinking about taking the plunge and asking for feedback for a number of days here, but I was too scared.

So, *splash*, here I go.

I submitted my first erotic story that I'd ever written a couple of weeks ago. I very quickly followed with two and three.

I've had a little feedback from another author, but I'd like to hear more. I'm thinking of other stories, but I also have a pretty good idea for a fourth chapter for my two friends.

Here is a link for my latest (Interruptus3):

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=14559

Please let me know what I need to work on to improve for next time.

- Judo

 

[CelticsHeart]

As ye give so shall ye recieve

Judo,

I enjoyed your story very much, cunning ideas ran throught it and it was easy to give myself over to lascivious thoughts.

The one difficulty I did have however was following the dialogue. It seemed lost inside the paragraph. I found myself having to work harder to read in those sections, but then perhaps I am just lazy!

When I first asked for feedback here one of the most important things I was given by way of advice was to separate my dialogue more effectively, so it was a trap I found myself in also. I try to do that now, and I think it makes a difference.

The other difficulty I found was the "DVD" commentary flowing into real time, and lazy ol` me had to stop and decide where I was.

However, in my limited and inexperienced opinion I liked your story, it pushed all the right buttons. I did vote high for it.

Hugs Judo,

CH xxx

 

[JUDO]

Thanks CH

Yeah, I have since read WS's nice little article on "how to" quote dialog (yes, and taken the test--I passed, but just barely). The article is here:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=8982

So, next time, I will be following those guidelines.

As far as the DVD stuff, I'll take a look at that. I would imagine the problems with that are similar to the problems with dialogue.

Glad you like the 'Hot' stuff. Now I just need to learn how to serve it better. ;^)

- Judo

PS - Anyone else? I'd love to hear more opinions.

[Edited by JUDO on 05-22-2001 at 11:00 AM]