18 Jun 2001: Similar Super Sexy Asses By Tawny T

[Weird Harold]

A random pick from the top 500 stories at Literotica in the Loving Wives category.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=6804
Similar Super Sexy Asses
byTawny T

 

[Weird Harold]

Tawny T gives a a story here with very few technical flaws, as is normal for her stories.

A question to jump-start discussion: "Is this story Plausible or Pure Fantasy?"

I tend to favor Plausible.

I've known several pairs of twins and/or look-alikes who I could easily imagine making a bet like the central premise of this story.

 

[JUDO]

Taste-y!

Thumbs up! Well, up somewhere...

Tawny always manages to get my motor running and this story was no different. I like her characters. Brief descriptions, but they always flesh out in my mind. They always sound like someone I have met or known.

I like the longer descriptions of sex that she used between the two women, but since the threesome was at the end, I would've preferred that the longer descriptions be saved for the end of the piece. Or, at least, make the descriptions longer at the end. The sex act which ends the story was more of a wham-bam, then the sex act between the two friends at the beginning.

There are some punctuation errors, some minor repitition of words close to each other in the same sentence, but they really didn't distract me from the read.

The one pet peeve of mine was there though. A sentence towards the beginning ends with what I think of as an "oxymoronic adverb."

"Tom adored her almost totally."

Can you see the "jumbo shrimp-ism" in that description?

I think I know what you were going for, but unfortunately, I have to think about the phrase to understand.

I think you thought the phrase "Tom adored her totally." was too strong and so you tried to back it off with an additional adjective.

Perhaps you wanted "Tom adored her almost as much as he adored me." OR "Tom liked her immensely."

Either one of these would be fine and even, "Tom adored her." is great.

After all, Tom married her, not Sue. So, the statement is harmless and doesn't really imply that Tom likes her more than his wife.

Anyway, enough of that...just my pet peeve.

Really loved the story, T. You're so nasty!

- Judo

 

[Blackbich]

I think the premise for this story is completely plausible. I can easily see this occurring in real life.

I liked that Tawny fleshed out the characters some for us. So many times readers are just thrown into the middle of the story without any background on the characters.

I, like JUDO, felt a little cheated with the last sex scene. It fell a little flat after the earlier scene descriptions.

Other than that, I really liked this story.

Tawny - keep up the good work.

 

[alexander tzara]

Very erotic story-telling.

I thought it was more of a fantasy than a plausible situation. I didn't believe that two unrelated friends could look as alike as was described. I think Tawny basically wrote a story about twins but didn't want this to be an incest story.

The narrator seemed very happy to be voted only 2nd Sweetest Pussy In The Universe. LOL. I'm sure in real life she would have had more to say on the subject.

But anyway: this is a good erotic story with a strong premise. I've read a few of Tawny's other stories and always been impressed.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Tawny's stories are pretty much a guaranteed get off from what I can understand. I would call them more pornographic than erotic, however, but that's my personal definition of erotica. Sex is always the main thrust of Tawny's stories, not the people themselves. In erotica, by my own definition, the people and their relationship are the main thrust. There's a simple test of the whether it's pornography or erotica. Would these characters be interesting in a situation where they weren't fucking? No.

I've only read about four or five of Tawny's stories, and, other than situations and names, the characters are all the same and they're all very predictable. However, that is perfectly okay, too.

I'm not fond of Tawny's characters because to an extent they're very two dimensional and they have no depth that gives them that feeling of being real. DCL's main character (can't remember hisname) in Teach Patti was almost someone you knew, Tawny's characters are someone straight out of a XXX movie.

She's also very reptitious, they "laugh" or some conjugation at least three or four times in the very beginning, the adverb of choice a little later on is some form of absolute.

One thing no one can ever fault her on is the sex, it's always very hot.

 

[Guest]

As usual, Tawny is one of the very best. I just LOVE all her stories
Jamiesue

 

[Windyee]

Tawney,
One of my favorite authors here. As usual your tales aleays arouse my "interest". One hopes that is the purpose of writing here. I look for the authoir of a story I only have a few but they never let me down. Tawney all I can say is M O R E please.
Winn

 

[Tawny T]

Thank you one and all for your input. Hey, I'm only human as a writer. I do make 'misteaks', and readily admit it. I'm delighted you enjoy my stories though.

The premise was that the husband couldn't tell the two apart in the DARK. Not with the lights ON

I have a very good friend and we could be sisters. We are of the same build, coloring, facial features, dress alike, same hair style, and her mother and daughter have actually gotten us mixed up in dim light!

We keep getting mixed up at work by very intelligent management execs. They are looking at us in the LIGHT! We each know the other's basic jobs, as we were in the same department. We reply to the queries then call the other to laugh and tell each other what we told the mixed-up bosses. So it does happen.

The story is based loosely on this relationship. A state trooper could not tell our drivers license apart if we swapped them! We have changed husbands and gone out in public several times. No one has ever caught on to that!

Of course the story is fiction! A Tawny T - story!

"Tom adored her almost totally." - That means not totally - not completely. Grin!

I'm from the South - Y'all! Cut me some slack! Y'hear?

 

[Windyee]

Asses by Tawney

Well the responses to Tawney's story are very enlightning to me. I sort of assumed (my first mistake assuming!) that the people that come here to read and write do so for enjoyment and entertainment . I appear to have misjudged. I am not searching for the great Am,erican novel. I seek to enjoy my perversions and aversions with out judgement. I do nor seek Romance nor do I condemn it if it is what you want enjoy.

Tawney writes stories that I know are fiction, my God does anyone really think you look at someone and they say <"god, I must have you, fuck me now!" If you believe that shame on you, naw heck have your fantacies as I have mine but please don't discourage a good story teller. We sure don't have enough to discourage those that do. Aw, I am sorry for this but I just had to say it. I am not a critic.

I believe there is a place for those of us that are devoid of talent. We can truely appreciate those that do, so Tawney please more more.....................We luv ya gal!
Winn

 

[KillerMuffin]

This is a story discussion circle. This is not the story feedback forum. We do not blindly praise stories here, that is not the purpose. What we do is look for things in the stories that cause us to question them so that perhaps we might learn from those mistakes and bits of bad writing so that we can be better writers. Some stories have us asking questions about the hidden moral to the stories.

Yes, Tawny writes good porn. There's a feedback forum to praise her wonderful pornography. This discussion circle would die a quick death if the only thing we did was choose a story and say "Wow! What great writing!" Where's the discussion? Where's the learning? Where's the value?

If it's great, why is it great? What makes it a great story? Why do you adore Tawny's stuff so much and no one elses? What makes Tawny's stories superior to the other 11,000ish stories on this site? Why? How can we learn from "Great writing tawny! Keep up the good work!"

This discussion circle has a purpose and that purpose is not to promote or praise a story. Tawny did not volunteer to have her story dissected and discussed. However, she did have the option to have it NOT dissected and discussed. One of the rules here is that the author give consent.

I'm sure that Tawny would find it far more valuable if you told her what, specifically, you loved about the story. Something requiring more than three words and a great job! Constructive criticism is the lot of a writer. Otherwise we'd never open ourselves to it.

I stand by what I said. She writes hot sex. Her characters are flat. As most people who watch the feedback section and read their incoming mail know, readers like characters they can identify with and feel. A steady diet of hot sex and no depth gets very boring. Hot sex is enough for some people, but for others, we like relationships.

 

[alexander tzara]

Jesus, Windyee! Don't take it so personally. This is a board for discussing the stories: what works and what doesn't for each reader. It's not for patting the writers on the back. If you want to do that there's a perfectly good story feedback forum. Constructive criticism is GOOD for authors. That's how you learn and grow as a writer. All the writers featured are given the chance to refuse criticism of their work if they don't want to hear wht people think.

 

[Laurel]

Tawny's alliteration in her titles always cracks me up. Her stories are really fun. They are well-written, but because they don't deal with angst or anger or negative vibes, I think they may come across as superficial to some. I think she's popular with some readers because her stuff is rather fantastical, in that everyone's always ready to do it with everyone else. But that's why her stories are a blast...it's like a trip to Disneyland.

 

[Windyee]

Critiques

The responses to my note were most informative. I like to think I can learn from every experience I have. When I know it it all then I will be ready for the final chapter. I am totally out of my depth by the comments so I thank you for informing me in such polite terms. I am glad you didn't do so in a more pointed way by alluding to my lack of knowledge of character developement and completely new story plots. However, I must starte I will continue to read, enjoy and tell my favorite authors of which parts I enjoyed most. I fear I am not a literary critic so I Must just go on my instincts. I am sure there are hidden reasons why I enjoy one author over an other but I am simply too lazy to try and understand the reasons for my selections. I do trully and honestly thank you for your responses. I know it may seem like I didn't but I did learn so I may go on for another day. Please keep writing all of you. You give many of us happiness , joy and contentment. Take care, best to alll

 

[KillerMuffin]

You are a reader. Your instincts, reactions, and thoughts are the most important there is. We don't write just to throw fancy words at each other, we write because of you. Three sentences, no matter how dumb they sound to you, from you are worth ten times more than thirty sentences from a literary critic.

We all like different things in what we read. Which is what makes this board so nice, discussing the things about the story that we like, dislike, found interesting, anything, whatever.

I hope you keep posting here.

 

[Tawny T]

This discussion circle has a purpose and that purpose is not to promote or praise a story. Tawny did not volunteer to have her story dissected and discussed. However, she did have the option to have it NOT dissected and discussed. One of the rules here is that the author give consent.

Surprise, I never was asked. Guess I fell through the crack! Hey, I would have given it anyway!

Repetitious, I'll have to watch that! I tend to get carried away with the story.

Smile, laugh, giggle, grin, chortle (no smirking) - yep, my characters are HAPPY! They are having fantastic sex!

 

[Windyee]

Tawny T

Tawney T ,


I loved your humor. I believe I shall have to use it many times. Your sex is superb your humor is even more so. I shall never forgive. LOL I do not want my poor Tawney to think her fan is asinine. Keep 'em coming. I am "hard" at work reading all our wonderful authors. Take care, Winn

 

[SteamyChik]

This was such a fun romp! I enjoyed it. The only thing I wanted more of was the description when he fucked her in the ass. That's just one of my little fetishes though.

I thought it was plausible. I have a friend and we look very much alike too. Probably has something to do with being around each other since 3rd grade! I also have friends into polyamorous relationships, so everyone fucking everyone happily really does happen.

Great writing Tawny-T, now I'll have to look up your other stories!