17 years ago today

[riff]

I woke up. Tired as hell because the previous day I had been deep sea fishing on a chartered boat with some co-workers. I had a lot of fish to clean.

The phone rang.... I was my parent's neighbor telling me my brother was in a terrible car-train accident and was not expected to make it.

After 5 months in a coma, he came out, brain-damaged as hell, but he made it. And all of us love him- it's almost like it was his 2nd birthday. Not two years, but when my older brother became my little brother.

I'm not sad about it much anymore. On occasion I ask myself what would he be like if that had not have happened. What would my family be like if that had not happened.

There's no telling. I don't have any kids. But I just got off the phone talking with my dad and told him I cannot imagine what it would be like. I hope I never do.

And as for my brother! He will probably outlive us all! He has one of the most stress free existances I have ever seen. You know, I actually hated him growing up. He beat the shit out of me all the time.

But I love him now. If you like hugs, you'd love my brother.

 

[estevie]

Life is funny like that. It can change in an instant.

 

[badasschick]

ya know,

sometimes it takes something traumatic to allow us to gain perspective on how we feel about someone.

Its amazing how life works sometimes.

 

[GuyJD]

I'm very sorry to hear of the accident, Riff. But I'm very glad to hear that all have gotten better for you. You're right that, though it was tragic, it was still a blessing that you still have him in your life.

 

[riff]

Yes. He is a blessing to have in my life. And when my parents are too old to care from him, I will. He's my brother.

 

[freakygirl]

My brother was in a coma after his accident, 6 years ago. He didn't make it though. Never woke up. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he was here.. even if he wasn't the same person. Would I appreciate the person he is? Or miss the person he was? I wish I had the chance to know the answers to my questions.




Riff, sorry to hear about your brothers accident. Hope you hug him often

*a hug for you* *and a hug for your brother*

 

[cybergirly]

Makes you realize how precious life really is, and how quickly it can change. Riff your very lucky (as I'm sure you realize) to still have your brother in your life.

 

[riff]

My brother was in a coma after his accident, 6 years ago. He didn't make it though. Never woke up. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he was here.. even if he wasn't the same person. Would I appreciate the person he is? Or miss the person he was? I wish I had the chance to know the answers to my questions.




Riff, sorry to hear about your brothers accident. Hope you hug him often

*a hug for you* *and a hug for your brother*

I hug him a lot! And when I bring friends to my parents house, he hugs them too. (Sometimes too much though)

 

[freakygirl]

I hug him a lot! And when I bring friends to my parents house, he hugs them too. (Sometimes too much though)

To many hugs? Not possible

 

[nakedangelina]

Riff, thank you for sharing that with us. It touched my heart, and is a good reminder of how lucky I am. My son, who is now 8 yrs old, was diagnosed with leukemia at 3. After 3 years of chemo (aka HELL) he was offically in remission and is fine and health today.
I yelled at him a few mintues ago over something silly. Now I wish I had not.
I am going to hug my son now.
Thanks again, Riff.


*hugs to you and your brother*

 

[riff]

Riff, thank you for sharing that with us. It touched my heart, and is a good reminder of how lucky I am. My son, who is now 8 yrs old, was diagnosed with leukemia at 3. After 3 years of chemo (aka HELL) he was offically in remission and is fine and health today.
I yelled at him a few mintues ago over something silly. Now I wish I had not.
I am going to hug my son now.
Thanks again, Riff.


*hugs to you and your brother*

Lukemia? I think you need the hugs. 2 years ago a doctor thought my white cell count was too high and I had to be tested (bone marrow from my hip). I lived for a week thinking I might be dying soon. She called me on a weekend and told me there was nothing cancerous and that I might just be a person with a lot of white cells.

Life is a very, very precious thing. And people, including myself, should think before wishing sickness on anyone.

 

[freakygirl]

I feel so guilty

I have sat here for a week asking "why me?".. "why my daughter?"

And all she has wrong is some hearing loss.. she can hear. We are hoping it's as bad as it's going to get. But if it does get worse, my daughter will still be here.

I need to stop the self pity bullshit!


*hugs to nakedangelina and her son*

 

[nakedangelina]

Riff, freakygirl, thank you again. I am very, very lucky, as are you, Riff, because he is still in my life. He is almost normal at this point, the emotional repercutions are what we are dealing with today. He is in therapy, his father and I are too. He has been diagnosed with ADD and OCD.
But guys, it is worth every moment, without a doubt. When he goes to bed at night and looks into my eyes, he kisses my hand and tells me he loves me, and I swear to you both, I would walk thru hell and back for that little boy.
I am the lucky one.
Thank you for reminding me of that today.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Riff...sorry to hear about your brother, but happy that he's still with you to give you those hugs. Life is the most precious thing there is in this world. I think too many times we get too busy to ever take the time to stop and be thankful for those in our lives.

(((((Hugs)))))

dixicritter

 

[sunstruck]

Riff, you are one hell of a human being, and one of the reasons I keep comming back to this board.

I'll even take on the aliean hordes with ya!

 

[riff]

You know, I told my dad the other day.

Dad, maybe I'll never get married and never have kids. Maybe just me and David can live together and be two brain-damaged old bachelors together.

There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[freakygirl]

riff

Is your brother self supportive at all? Or does he require 24 hour care?

 

[riff]

riff

Is your brother self supportive at all? Or does he require 24 hour care?

Well, in a way. (Brain injuries are very odd).

He dresses and grooms himself. He can entertain himself a lot. He masturbates (and his dick is bigger than mine- lol). He is paralyzed on his right side (poor bastard is right handed too). He is blind and deaf on his right eye and ear. He can walk fine without assistance. If he falls, he knows how to get back up (learned that at some special place near New Orleans). He cannot talk. He communicates with very dramatic OOOOOs and OOOOHHHs and facial expressions. It took a while to learn his language.

His judgement is very poor. He is compulsive about turning out lights and locking doors and keeping order. He used to throw tantrums if one thing was out of place- doesn't do that any more, but routine is a great comfort to him. Structure. He likes structure and order (it is amazing to me that the brain realizes it is injured and copes by creating its own sanctuary in order- unlike me, whose system of order seems to be perpetual chaos- but I respect all of his quirks).

Latest quirk? Emptying trash bags and reusing them. He takes phenobarb for seizures. I'll never forget one day I was with him and he went into a seizure. It was scary. The idiot neurologist took him off of the phenobarb to see what would happen. He went into a seizure and was out for 2 days.

If I sound like I am laughing, in some ways I am. I always prayed to God, do with me what you will, just make it interesting. I have a head-injured adorable brother. Want some fun? Take him out to eat at a restaurant. In spite of his injury, he isn't shy. In fact, he's very outgoing.

My mind gets to tripping though. Before his accident he was.... god, I loathed him. He was more fucked up than I am (). Now, I got a baby brother for life. I lucked out? Don't know.

He is a horny fucker. He is not inappropriate in public, but he beats off a lot and I loan him porno flicks. Dad buys him beer from time to time- over my Mom's objections... and mine.

I have often wondered if I should hire a woman to fuck him. But I don't know if he could take it.

He goes to Mass with mom and dad every weekend. I should write a book. I am serious. Really. Maybe I should.

My big bro. He is a miracle of science and of life. They operated on his head 7 times in one month! (JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!)

 

[freakygirl]

riff

My god you sound amazing. It's almost as if you are talking about your child.. rather than your brother.

Patience of a saint, is what you must have.

I'm a care giver for my mother. She had a stroke 3 years ago and she is paralyzed on the left side. She can do so much more now than she could when she first came home.

Her brain doesn't work just right, she isn't the mom I grew up with. I get frustrated with her when she asks her questions over and over and over in a 10 minute period. I snap at her way to much. I've tried to curb that, but it's really hard to do. That's just how I am.. dammit

I'm glad you feel the love that you do for your brother. I've seen alot of people distance themselves from the ones they love because they are different from what they used to be.

You deserve a medal of some sort..

 

[riff]

I've seen it too. Head injuries can dissolve lives. Not just the person who survives, but the victims too.

This is one of the reasons why I am so against motorcylce helmet laws.

I mean- I am forced by law to wear a seat belt. But you can ride a motorcyle without a helmet and have kids in the back of the pick-up truck.

And I am such a hypocrite. I drive like a fucking maniac sometimes.

 

[freakygirl]

I've seen it too. Head injuries can dissolve lives. Not just the person who survives, but the victims too.

This is one of the reasons why I am so against motorcylce helmet laws.

I mean- I am forced by law to wear a seat belt. But you can ride a motorcyle without a helmet and have kids in the back of the pick-up truck.

And I am such a hypocrite. I drive like a fucking maniac sometimes.

Here in Washington.. it's a law you have to wear a helmet (atleast it used to be.. hell maybe they changed that too) I'll have to ask Mr Freaky. He always wears one, but maybe it's because he doesn't want his brains to be scrapped up with a spoon and a garbage bag.

Kids in the back of a pickup is illegal here too.. Hell I won't even let my dogs be back there without being chained in on a short chain. They can lay down.. that's about it for moving.

 

[Cheyenne]

riff- has your brother met Amelia yet? I think he would probably love her, too.

 

[sch00lteacher]

Riff, you're one hell of a guy. I'd tell ya that I love ya, but everyone would get all creeped out, me and you included.

If you ever need back up. Give me a call. I'll be there for you.