.

[lickerish]

Unemployed for a month and a half now. Yes, by choice.

How many resumes have I sent out, just to be sent a nice 'n tidy postcard saying "Thank you for your application, but you're just not what we're looking for"? Too many. I fill out application after application because I know I can do the job, but they won't even give me a chance. I'm a damn hard worker, and I'm loyal to boot. I'll do just about any pissant job just to be able to feed my kids.

I'm a single mom with 2 bright, beautiful, hilariously funny, tender-loving daughters. I live in a basic 2 bedroom apartment, with no matching furniture, cluttered so much that it looks like a tornado threw up everywhere. I have a car, that I own.. it's the only thing that I outright own, it's a piece of crap, but it's mine.

Hello, my name is notworthadamn.. I'm 25 years old. I have an almost 7 year old, and an 8 year old. Their dad doesn't give a shit that they exist, and proves it in the fact that he purposely avoids paying support.. He calls twice a year, for about 5 minutes to tell them 'hi', but he spends the majority of the time telling me that he misses my blow jobs. Fuck him.

I used to be skinny, 5 years ago. Yeah, that's about the time I left the moron. I've been fat ever since.. not really ever having a boyfriend since then, I'm thinking that's why, because I'm fat. I've dated a few guys, but all the good ones I push away. The ones I want, don't ever want me back.

My mom died 7 months ago, from small cell cancer. She had tumors in her brain and lungs. She was my best friend and confidante, when times got rough, she was there for me and knew exactly what to say. Now I have no one. She helped me out with raising my kids, they are who they are because of her goodness.. not because of me, I was away finishing high school.. or working 40 hours a week.

My dad is selling my house. The only place in this world where I feel safe and secure, the only place I can get away and feel like everything is going to be alright. He fucked up by spending all his retirement money restoring a '36 Ford Coupe. Now all he can see is the $250,000 flashing in front of his eyes while talking about selling my house.

I look out my bedroom window in this basic, unmatching apartment and watch my happy kids playing. I wonder how the hell I got here.. and where the hell am I going?

This is me in nutshell. Fucking going out of my head from worry that I'm not going to make it.. but at the same time, I know everything will be okay. Somehow, it always is.

I don't care where this thread goes. I don't care if you troll my words. This is me, and I needed to tell someone, show anyone, that I exist because right now, I feel small.

 

[Azwed]

*HUG*

You are a good person and things will work out.

You can't see any light now because you are in the center of the tunnel where no light reaches. You passed the halfway point you just have to keep moving out of the darkness.

 

[Debbie]

lickerish you are such a lovely strong person.
You have had a lot come your way in a short time yet you still remain optimistic. You go girl. I just know things are gonna come together real soon.

 

[zach79]

Don't worry we all get stuck in a rut sometimes ( I would know I've been in mine for a year and a half now).

As bad as things may seem they could always be worse.

You do talk about your kids a lot so I know you're proud of them, be the best mom you can be.

Don't worry about the weight issue, most of us at one time or another have worried about this. It's only a problem if you let it be one. However if you are sincere about dropping a few pounds, find a friend and work out with them, you'll be more likely to stick with it.

Finally I make myself think positive thoughts whenever I get too down. The power of positive thinking is quite amazing. Be glad you're still young, have beautiful kids, etc...

Best wishes

 

[GuyJD]

In the words of Earth, Wind, & Fire........KEEP YOUR HEAD TO THE SKY!!!

Lickerish, you have alot to offer and it's those employers loss for not hiring you. Everything will get better in less time than you realize. Just keep the faith, Sweetie.

Have you tried monster.com? I didn't notice your location but they often have really good postings and you can submit your resume to the employer online. I tried them a couple of years ago and often got phone calls for interviews just days after submitting me resume.

 

[Never]

*hugs*
I know this is a difficult time for you hun, but you will make it. This will turn out in the end. It may be hard to see that right now, you might feel low. Things will change though and for the better.

I'm sending my best wishes to you.

 

[Valdimer]

If you're still looking for a job....I know it's not prestigious work, but hey, it's work. Try fast food. It pays money, and cash is what you need, to help support both you and your children.



It keeps you moving, working, and making money. I'm in fast food. Been doing it for almost 2 years now, and I've made it to shift manager. Again, not a prestigious title or anything, but it pays the bills, and gives you a little extra cash to treat yourself, or your kids. Check it out, it's worth a shot at least.




I wish you nothing but the best of luck Lickerish. You're a strong and indepentent woman, so use that to your advantage. Everything will work out...as you said, you already know that.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[lickerish]

Thank you for the hug Azwed, I know what you mean about the tunnel thing.. but this one seems longer than the others did. I'm still moving though

Thank you Debbie

Thank you Zach.. you are right, my kids are the only thing that keep me 100% going. They are my life, and everything I do, I do for them.

GuyJD.. you are so sweet I haven't tried Monster.com, I'll go take a looksee


I want y'all to know, I'm not looking for sympathy.. or a box full of PM's.. I'm not depressed or needing therapy, yet I'm just feeling, as I said, small.. if that makes any sense in the world. :-\

 

[Freya]

Sending you warm thoughts and some strength to help carry you through this rough time.

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

Hope everything picks up for you soon......... sometimes we have to hit bottom to be able to come back up again - keep enjoying the love you have for your children - they are such a joy - little rays of sunshine to brighten our lives.

 

[lickerish]

Wow.. too quick for me

Thank you Never, for your words.

Hi Valdimer.. I never see you around, how cool. Yeah, I could do fast food. I've been there, done that.. of course, that was in high school before I became a mom. Right now I'm trying to keep my eyes open for something paying more than minimum wage (which excludes fast food and retail ) The catch 22 is finding something that will give me enough left over to pay the bills, after paying off the babysitter.

Desert Amazon.. thank you for posting. My looks bother me a lot, and it's not so much that I get shrugged off by other people cuz I'm chubby around the face, gut and butt.. it's that I can't stand looking at the person looking at me in the mirror. No amount of dieting and exercise has worked as of yet. Oy.. tough subject. //// As for the job placement thing, I've placed myself with 2 temp agencies, and look online everyday. I send resumes and apps to every place that doesn't say 'experience or degree required' or 'bi-lingual a must' because licky no speaky espanol. But I'm still not good enough, for whatever reason.. I know I'm qualified for what they advertise (word processing/ data entry/ phone answering/ customer service/ blah blah blah).

I'm thinking that it's a sign, that these people aren't hiring me.. for me to go back to school. Get some short term training. But unfortunately for me, the next term doesn't start until December. Rent needs to be paid 3 times before then.

C'est la vie

 

[Azwed]

I don't know if you are near a college town but if you are you can try the fastfood and related places there. Most of the fast food joints here pay a $1.00 to a $1.50 above minimum wage and some pay extra for working after 9 or 10 PM.

 

[Guest]

I am also in the process of looking for a job full time after taking maternity leave - it is very disheartening to be told no all the time - have faith - there will be a job out there that will be perfect for you!

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

I am also in the process of looking for a job full time after taking maternity leave - it is very disheartening to be told no all the time - have faith - there will be a job out there that will be perfect for you!

OOPS! that was me........

 

[Valdimer]

I've been lurking more than anything, but am steadily coming out of my lurking satus.



I'm in a similar situation that you are in. See, about a year ago, I had to come down here to tennessee, to take care of my mother. She's bi polar, and cant exactly take care of herself, or hold a job. So, needless to say, I've been busting tail for almost a year now, paying her bills, helping her get a running vehicle, and keeping the house she's in. All with fast food. I just have my mom and my brother to worry about, and mom does bring in some extra income...but you have your kids. A much more important concern I think. Yea, fast food sucks mucho ass, lol, as does retail, but it could be a stepping stone, until you get a better place of employment. You know they're always hiring, but hey, it's up to you.


And...you'll see more of me around, I'm sure. Just look for that web headed zinger going from thread to thread!

 

[chicagoguy]

A hug from Chicago

 

[TWB]

As you are being a good mom and loving your kids as you clearly do you are already working. Someone will pay you to do something soon enough, I am sure. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

*hugs*

 

[PacificBlue]

{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Angel]

Phone.

Use.

 

[Guest]

I wish I could be your mirror and show you what I see. You have been through hell and back. But, you're going to make it. You're strong, even when you feel weak.
You are cared for- don't forget.

 

[lickerish]

Geeyod guys, all this mushy hug stuff is gonna make me cry

Just called the temp agency.. no jobs available at this time. What else is new?

Thank you everyone.. chicagoguy, TWB, Willing, PB, *brat*, Angel , raindancer for your support. I know I'll get through these crappy times.. but it's friends like you that make the between time easier.


Ah.. and just so everyone knows.. Juspar and I amicably went our seperate ways last night. He is a great person, but the LD thing just wasn't working out. We're not upset by it as we know we gave it a good chance. So don't nobody get all weepy on me here.

 

[*bratcat*]