LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

♥♥ Aunt Agnes' Naughty Knitting Circle ♥♥

37_ttej

37_ttej

Irregular
Joined
Jun 30, 2014
Posts
9,181
Heehee, my daft nephew Jett thinks I'm at my 'knitting circle' morning.
I've snuck out to the community lounge to this new internet kiosk thing they put in last week.
So any young gentlemen who want to get to know me better ...

*hack, hack*

Sorry, darlings. I gave up the ciggies a little while ago. The dentist rudely told me he wasn't giving me any mire dentures if I kept covering them in tar stains.

And just to prove to you young studmuffins that while I might be a little older I'm still up for a fun time, here's a photograph my nevvie took of me at the Egremont horse fair last year. I tell you, boys, I'm pretty warm in the saddle. Although sometimes I think that might be due to my weak bladder.

Agnes :kiss:

https://tunianforyou.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/48320310.jpg
 
jameslewis said:
Oh Agnes, sweet Agnes. Can't you hear me calling you? (Turn up your hearing aid dear.)
The only woman to respond to my pleas. I dream of nights together, trading body shots of Tequila and Prune Juice. Yes, I'm intoxicated by you and I'm trying to get you drunk so I can get into your Depends. Leave the false teeth at home honey. You, me, and your walker - we'll dance till dawn.PS. Watch out for your nephew, he has evil plans for you dear.
Click to expand...

Oh, Mr Lewis! You do know how to talk to the ladies, you saucy thing you.
My pacemaker just skipped a beat or two.
Do you think you could masqerade as a communty health officer coming to take me for an outing to the park in my wheelchair?
I think we could have a lovely little roll on the lawn, sweetling.

Agnes :kiss:
 
I have been looking for a sugar mama for a long time. Your Aunt clearly comes from money. I am more than willing to diddle her thimble for the right amount of cash.
 
IhateClowns said:
I have been looking for a sugar mama for a long time. Your Aunt clearly comes from money. I am more than willing to diddle her thimble for the right amount of cash.
Click to expand...

Mr Clowns! I am a gentlewoman! I am not to be traded like a nag at a horse fair!
Mind you, I am a very good ride and I am sure would give satisfaction if you put me through my paces. Feel free to inspect my teeth also which, I understand, is something one does when buying horses. I can send them to you via the Postal Service if you wish. It is often sadly unreliable but has the advantage of some very attractive mail men. Except for the bald, fat ones which remind me of my late Arthur.

You should also know that my nevvy, Jett, is not a 'pump' or 'jiggler' or whatever you call those nasty individuals which rent out ladies like novels from the Public Lending Library.

If he is, he's been very secretive. I couldn't find anything on his laptop.

Agnes :heart:

PS: Send me a Private Message you naughty man. But please use large font on account of my gammy eyesight.
 
37_ttej said:
Mr Clowns! I am a gentlewoman! I am not to be traded like a nag at a horse fair!
Mind you, I am a very good ride and I am sure would give satisfaction if you put me through my paces. Feel free to inspect my teeth also which, I understand, is something one does when buying horses. I can send them to you via the Postal Service if you wish. It is often sadly unreliable but has the advantage of some very attractive mail men. Except for the bald, fat ones which remind me of my late Arthur.

You should also know that my nevvy, Jett, is not a 'pump' or 'jiggler' or whatever you call those nasty individuals which rent out ladies like novels from the Public Lending Library.

If he is, he's been very secretive. I couldn't find anything on his laptop.

Agnes :heart:

PS: Send me a Private Message you naughty man. But please use large font on account of my gammy eyesight.
Click to expand...

Agnes honey please realize that gum jobs are my weakness. Please understand that I don't look at you as a "lady of the night" because you would be paying me. So essentially I am your "lady of the night" so to speak. I don't need to inspect your teeth because I prefer you not keep them in. There is nothing hotter for me than making a pace maker flutter and you bite down gasping for air. That gummy pressure is just to die for.
 
Last edited:
ahhh, another perfect lit match!! Brings a tear to my eye. Reading your sweet words to each other brings me joy. :nana:
 
IhateClowns said:
Agnes honey please realize that gum jobs are my weakness. Please understand that I don't look at you as a "lady of the night" because you would be paying me. So essentially I am your "lady of the night" so to speak. I don't need to inspect your teeth because I prefer you not keep them in. There is nothing hotter for me than making a pace maker flutter and you bite down gasping for air. That gummy pressure is just to die for.
Click to expand...

Oooh, Mr Clowns, I'ma just going to eat you all up.
Would you mind standing though please?
If I kneel I'm liable to dislocate my wonky knee and that would be very awkward.
I'll sit on my commode chair (I think it's empty) and that will be then very comfortable for both of us.
I'll just put my falsies in their glass, my hair in a scarf and then I'm ready to schluck your big sausage-doodle.

Agnes :heart:

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/egsmith34/media/old-woman.jpg.html
 
37_ttej said:
Oooh, Mr Clowns, I'ma just going to eat you all up.
Would you mind standing though please?
If I kneel I'm liable to dislocate my wonky knee and that would be very awkward.
I'll sit on my commode chair (I think it's empty) and that will be then very comfortable for both of us.
I'll just put my falsies in their glass, my hair in a scarf and then I'm ready to schluck your big sausage-doodle.

Agnes :heart:

http://s36.photobucket.com/user/egsmith34/media/old-woman.jpg.html
Click to expand...

I have no problem staring darling. I figured your biggest concern is osteoporosis and the last thing I need is to high tail it out of there after calling an ambulance. That wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me would it?

I agree. The toilet is the best place for a gum job. It works two fold. I know the older you get the looser your bowels become. No reason to risk turning your Craftmatic bed into a sewer pipe. Also it works well for the clean up and after piss. This way I don't have to duck waddle out of your bedroom causing pancake batter to drop on your linoleum floors. Once again not causing you to slip and fall due to some semen seepage. Plus once finish all you have to do is open your legs. No worries of removing your panty hose because the piss will go right through them. I trust you lather up with Ben Gay so you won't smell a thing.
 
Last edited:
oh my god.

would you two stop dancing around like adolescents and please just get it on already?

FFS.
 
Oh Agnes, my sweet, sultry temptress. I see your flirting with these other young studs and I should be hurt. But, love is blind - you know what that's like. No one can love you quite like I do. Wrapping my arms around your waist, and playing with your breasts. Holding your nicotine stained fingers in mine. Savoring your Geritol flavored kisses. Agnes, you make my heart jolt - like your pacemaker does for you. Please be true.
Don't be tempted by Clowns. He only intends to use you for his own selfish pleasures of the flesh, then roll your wheelchair to the curb. Our love is one for the ages, old ages maybe, but still. Please come back.
Your stallion,
James
 
Agnes, James only wants you so he can use your parking pass to get a better spot at Golden Corral. He doesn't want to take you anywhere nice. This way he can slap a pile of mashed potatoes on a plate, shove them in front of you, and then take off for an hour. He will use the excuse of his absence that GC is large and got lost. So who is the selfish one?

I know you. I know your bunions. I know how you liked them massaged in a tub of Natural Light beer. I also know of your addiction to Halls cherry cough drops and Agnes, just know I am the only man willing to take your cherry over and over and over again darling.
 
Last edited:
Oh Agnes -
Have you forgotten me so swiftly. Have you forgotten how I made you tremble? (Ok, maybe it wasn't all me.) Have you forgotten that each time we were together you said it "felt like the first time"? I guess it's just a love that wasn't meant to be. Fare thee well and good bye. Take it easy on Clowns; any man can only take so much of a woman like you.
Adios, my Metamucil Moma.
James

PS: Do keep a close eye on that nephew of yours. I'm sure he's always up to some skullduggery or other.
 
wait--we're going to commercial break, right?

that can't be it, it can't be over--there has to be more!!!


*outrage*
 
Oh my dear Agnes, let me start out by saying how much I enjoyed being inside your hot sweaty box. I have never seen someone use their inhaler as much as you did in that 3 minute sexcapade. I now know what it feels like for a mini Cooper to drive into the Lincoln tunnel. I have never been inside a vagina that not only I could fuck horizontally, but had a built in compartment for my balls.

I do however have concerns about your Snuffleupagus clit. While on top of you I looked down and your clit swelled so large it flopped over. That concerns me. Your clit is giving my cock clit envy. Believe me I will get over it, but don't be upset if I flick it like a paper football from time to time. It is just an instinctual reaction.

Can't wait for round two.
 
I'm sorry, boys.
My nevvy, Jett, has to take me to the emergency department for my dislocated hip after that rather too energetic session with dear Mr Clowns.
I told him I slipped on the stairs. When he asked about the sticky smears, I said I must have used too much moisturizer. Gullible young fool, I haven't used moisturizer for years! Nothing wrong with my face, sweetlings!

https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8441/7812691852_fa05289778_z.jpg
 
IhateClowns said:
Oh my dear Agnes, let me start out by saying how much I enjoyed being inside your hot sweaty box. I have never seen someone use their inhaler as much as you did in that 3 minute sexcapade. I now know what it feels like for a mini Cooper to drive into the Lincoln tunnel. I have never been inside a vagina that not only I could fuck horizontally, but had a built in compartment for my balls.

I do however have concerns about your Snuffleupagus clit. While on top of you I looked down and your clit swelled so large it flopped over. That concerns me. Your clit is giving my cock clit envy. Believe me I will get over it, but don't be upset if I flick it like a paper football from time to time. It is just an instinctual reaction.

Can't wait for round two.
Click to expand...

I must confess to you, Mr Clowns, that my late Arthur had a bit of a penchant for using his todger to roger. Alas, he was not a large man and found greater delight where it was a little more tight.
He would stand on a fruit crate and I'd slide onto the bed post to give him a little more fun. I still get a bit teary remembering how he'd use to shyly ask if I could 'shine the brass work'. I must admit to having a girlish fit of the giggles when my new doctor - such a kindly man - asked me if I'd had a large family. He looked adoringly confused when I said, "No, just a large bed".
 
Last edited:
jameslewis said:
Oh Agnes -
Have you forgotten me so swiftly. Have you forgotten how I made you tremble? (Ok, maybe it wasn't all me.) Have you forgotten that each time we were together you said it "felt like the first time"? I guess it's just a love that wasn't meant to be. Fare thee well and good bye. Take it easy on Clowns; any man can only take so much of a woman like you.
Adios, my Metamucil Moma.
James

PS: Do keep a close eye on that nephew of yours. I'm sure he's always up to some skullduggery or other.
Click to expand...

Mr Lewis, no! I promise you the trembling was because I'd forgotten to take my pills that morning. My memory is not what it once was and sometimes I disremember whether it's the horseradish or the horny goat weed that I'm supposed to take with my morning milk coffee.
My dear sweetling, not even my Alzheimers could make me forget our many 'first times' together.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top