‘Tis the season...

[Rustyoznail]

When I first joined, I had a question about where to post songs. They’re too short for a story and don’t really fit as poetry. So as it’s December, I figure Christmas tunes are now ok for shops and here.

To the tune of someone wants a larger African mammal who spends a lot of time in rivers as a present at this time of year....

=========

I want to fuck Elizabeth for Christmas
Only a good hard dick in her will do
Don’t want a kiss, or squeeze her ample tits
I want her tasty clitoris to play with and enjoy

I want to fuck Elizabeth for Christmas
I don’t think her hubby will mind, do you?
I don’t have to choose which juicy hole to use
Just go in through the front one
That’s the nicest one to screw

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping up the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When she opens up her eyes
And sees my rock hard willy waiting there

I want to fuck Elizabeth for Christmas
Maybe there’s some time for more than two
No cosy hugs, no time for lovey dove
I only want to fuck her
And I hope she wants me too

Maybe Libby would suck me off but then
Maybe not cause she’s a vegetarian
There’s lots of room for fucking her over the garage
I’d finger her cunt then lick her hard, and give her a dick massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping up the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When I slip between her thighs
And feel a warm wet pussy waiting there

I want to fuck Elizabeth for Christmas
Maybe there’ll be time for more than two
No cosy hugs, no time for lovey dove
I only want to fuck her
And I hope she wants me too

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

Damn you! My kids love the hippopotamus song. From now on, I'm going to have to be on guard against singing your very catchy version by mistake.

You're very clever, but I hate you.

 

[SimonDoom]

This is great. Thanks for that!

 

[TxRad]

A great song but who is Libby? Typos are hell.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

A great song but who is Libby? Typos are hell.

'Libby' is a nickname for 'Elizabeth'. Not a common one, but still. The reason I know this is one of the reasons it would be a terrible, terrible thing for me to accidentally sing these lyrics out loud.

 

[SimonDoom]

'Libby' is a nickname for 'Elizabeth'. Not a common one, but still. The reason I know this is one of the reasons it would be a terrible, terrible thing for me to accidentally sing these lyrics out loud.

I wonder if "Elizabeth" has more common diminutive forms than any other girl's name. I can't think of one that has more. Liz, Lizzie, Bess, Bessie, Eliza, Beth, Betsy, Libby, Betty. There are many.

 

[TxRad]

Okay, I stand corrected. I guess I hadn't thought it out that far.

 

[Lori_the_Hoosier]

OK, I'm with Loqui here, I used to sing the actuerl, genwine, fer-shure real hippo song with my niece, and now I never can ever again; what have you done...?

Handbags at dawn, sirrah...

 

[KeithD]

I wonder if "Elizabeth" has more common diminutive forms than any other girl's name. I can't think of one that has more. Liz, Lizzie, Bess, Bessie, Eliza, Beth, Betsy, Libby, Betty. There are many.

Could be. I think Katherine/Catherine/Kate/Cat/whatever gives it some competition. We used both for our daughter, so she had a wide choices of what it eventually would be.

 

[NotWise]

Could be. I think Katherine/Catherine/Kate/Cat/whatever gives it some competition. We used both for our daughter, so she had a wide choices of what it eventually would be.

Margaret is probably up on the list. I can think of Maggy, Mags, Marj, and even Peg and Peggy off the top of my head.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Margaret is probably up on the list. I can think of Maggy, Mags, Marj, and even Peg and Peggy off the top of my head.

yeah, i was thinking Margaret too.
I wonder which traditionally boys name has the most variations.
"Robert" has a lot.

 

[Hypoxia]

I've posted songs, some not too long, to Poetry. I've since taken them down for good reasons, but songs work there. You might even gain a few more views than here in AH.

 

[Heartsongs]

I started laughing when I read "Tis the season." My girlfriends and I when we were young always thought it was "Tits the season." We always sang it that way and no one ever noticed or at least said anything.

 

[Rustyoznail]

OK, I'm with Loqui here, I used to sing the actuerl, genwine, fer-shure real hippo song with my niece, and now I never can ever again; what have you done...?

Handbags at dawn, sirrah...

Bwah haha... I’ve corrupted the corrupted

You may think my work here was done, but no. I was asked to write a version that a woman could sing in a pub. So...

I want to bonk my brother in law for Christmas
Only a good hard dick in me will do
Don’t want a kiss, or squeeze my ample tits
I want his tasty manly bits to play with and enjoy

I want to bonk my brother in law for Christmas
I don’t think my hubby will mind, do you?
I don’t have to choose which juicy hole to use
Just go in through my front one
That’s the nicest one to screw

I can see him now on Christmas morning
Creeping up the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When I open up my eyes
And see his rock hard willy waiting there

I want to bonk my brother in law for Christmas
Maybe there’s some time for one or two
No cosy hugs, no time for lovey dove
I only want to have him
And I hope he wants me too

Maybe Tommy would lick my muff but then
Maybe not cause he’s a vegetarian
There’s lots of room for taking me over the garage
He’d rub my stuff then finger me there, and give me a dick massage

I can see him now on Christmas morning
Creeping up the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When he slips between my thighs
And feels a warm wet pussy waiting there

I want to bonk my brother in law for Christmas
Maybe there’ll be time for more than one or two
No cosy hugs, no time for lovey dove
I only want to have him
And I hope he wants me too

 

[Handley_Page]

Until I was forced to look it up, I was unaware of the song to which yopu refer.

To me, the Hippopotamus Song is by Flanders & Swann.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Inspiration?

Hey Russ-
In case you needed help coming up with your next hit:

"I Saw Mommy Blowing Santa Claus"

"O Holey Night" (I know, blasphemy. And that's, hands down, my favorite Christmas Carol. But it got stuck in my head)

"Grandma Got Bent Over by A ..." (banned due to Lit's content policies)

"All I Want for Christmas is a Good Hard Cock"

"Deck The Halls with Bound Up Holly" (stolen from an actual Lit story)

 

[Javahead]

Hey Russ-
In case you needed help coming up with your next hit:

"I Saw Mommy Blowing Santa Claus"

"O Holey Night" (I know, blasphemy. And that's, hands down, my favorite Christmas Carol. But it got stuck in my head)

"Grandma Got Bent Over by A ..." (banned due to Lit's content policies)

"All I Want for Christmas is a Good Hard Cock"

"Deck The Halls with Bound Up Holly" (stolen from an actual Lit story)

"Silent Night" (BSDM and breath control)

"We Three Kings " (IR group sex)

"Joy to the World" (Joy is *really* generous with her favors)

 

[Rustyoznail]

Oh, please no! No more distractions!

Grandma got bent over by a horny dwarf?

 

[vanmyers86]

I declare, I feel some holiday cheer coming on! May I play this game too?

"I'm your whore for Christmas
You can cum on me
Please have a thick and nice long dick
To fuck me by the tree

Christmas Eve you'll fuck me
While your fleshlight gleams
I'm your whore for Christmas
Now come on, make me scream!"

These things practically write themselves, I tell ya...

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Oh, please no! No more distractions!

Grandma got bent over by a horny dwarf?

A Reindeer

See here: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

 

[Rustyoznail]

Please do. As Javahead alluded to, the more the merrier

 

[SimonDoom]

Grandma got her ass bonked by old Santa,
Waiting up one merry Christmas eve
Grandpa'd told her anal's just for perverts
But now Grandma's ass wants to receive