I want my first big O, and I want it now!

Well, I decided to take my friend's advice and post under his name to ask my question. I'm still pretty new to Lit but have been hearing about how helpful it is so I want to try it out. The current problem I'm having is that no guy has ever tried hard enough to really get me to orgasm. I have yet to actually experience one and really like the guy I'm currently with. He makes a few attempts to get me off but sadly has yet to succeed. Is something wrong with me? We have tried pretty much everything and while wildwesty has amazing advice, I wanted to put it to the group. Are there any ideas on how to get me off out there that I could pass on to my man? Thank you so much!

Friend of Wildwesty

wildwesty said:

Well, I decided to take my friend's advice and post under his name to ask my question. I'm still pretty new to Lit but have been hearing about how helpful it is so I want to try it out. The current problem I'm having is that no guy has ever tried hard enough to really get me to orgasm. I have yet to actually experience one and really like the guy I'm currently with. He makes a few attempts to get me off but sadly has yet to succeed. Is something wrong with me? We have tried pretty much everything and while wildwesty has amazing advice, I wanted to put it to the group. Are there any ideas on how to get me off out there that I could pass on to my man? Thank you so much!

Friend of Wildwesty

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For one thing, how old are you? I'm not trying to imply that you sound young. It's just that it's perfectly normal for a woman to not have her first orgasm until she's twenty or so, from what I've heard. I was sexually active for well over a year with a partner who was very eager to please before I had my first. Do a quick search. There's all sorts of threads on this topic. I also recommend the "try this and report back" thread. Good luck.

Are you able to bring yourself to orgasm, through masturbation? If not, I would suggest you explore your own body, and find out what you like, and then instruct your partner. Take a bubble bath and relax, let your mind wander. Try out different fanasies in your mind to see what gets you going, and then stimulate yourself. Its really just a matter of practice. Don't pressure yourself, it's harder for some than others....

I hope you succeed, but I'd recommend you change your thinking first.

You are responsible for your orgasms. Not your partner. A good partner will help you along the way, but you have to figure out what pleases you, what works for you, then convey that knowledge openly and directly to your partner.

Woman's Orgasm is a helpful book for some.

I second the advice of the three ladies above...get to know yourself, communicate what feels good to your partner, and don't worry about it or place the responsibility on him.

For most people, focusing on or thinking about the orgasm will lead to no orgasm at all. Instead, focus on how everything feels and the experience of exploring eachother, without thinking about the orgasm.

I'm guessing you're about WildWesty's age, and if that's the case, you probably need to lower your expectations significantly. It takes a long time to learn a little about the body...my husband and I are still learning after 6 years in fact! A lot of women don't have orgasms with their partners at all, so you need to put it in perspective.

You might have fun and good luck with some toys (many women have their first O with a vibrator). My top 3 are the Rabbit Pearl/Habit, the Wahl 7-in-1, and the Hitachi Magic Wand w/ adult attachments. Feel free to PM me, and I'll tell you where you can find them at the best prices. Check out The Blank Manual at the top of this forum as well...tons of great info in there: https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=243894

you got learn to do it yourself First!

but you can find my friend at eBay or any good toy site


Hitachi Magic Wand - Bestselling clitoral vibrator
*As featured on HBO's Sex and the City!
You say vibrator, we say Hitachi: the #1 selling vibrator,

I got my first from my mom when i was 16.......

I burned it up when i was about 22

i've used them for almost 14 years will i'm on my 2 and 3 one now

I was without it for about 6 months I could not find other one

when i did find it i got 2

the other get book on G spot
or look for MrG treads here
WOOOWEEE
i did 2 days ago
I learn some new tricks tooo

not sure if i can post where i found it, but here goes

and it got a good how to part at the site also

http://www.libida.com/content/shop/toys/item.php?product_id=1037

A lot of your problem is going to boil down to your own mentality, as alluded to in the previous posts.

You need to know your own body, thoroughly.

You need to relax and not concentrate on an orgasm. You'll simply build yourself up for having one and that will distract you from having one, or more.

I'm sorry to read that you had such inexperienced and/or lazy lovers. I was with one woman who was in her mid 20s when we were seeing each other. Like you she had never had an orgasm by her own doing or otherwise. I tried and I tried and I tried, but to no avail. But as I was trying so much I was also learning about her body.

The third month that we were seeing each other I had planned a special night exclusively for her. I set up a special dinner, I gave her a full body massage that only lightly touched on being erotic (some intentional teasing but nothing more), a desert that consisted of brandy-based confectionaries with strawberries and a dribbling of dark chocolate, then some more massaging, a few glasses of a really good merlot, sex, and then I snuggled her until she fell asleep.

She was completely gone and that's when I went to work for real.

I reached down and fondled her clit and vagina for the better of twenty minutes when her body started unconsciously reacting to what I was doing. She was becoming wetter than any time I had played with her while she was conscious. Carefully I maneuvered under the sheets and blankets until my face was positioned comfortably at her pussy. Slowly I put my tongue to work on her clit while I slipped a couple of fingers into her and started stroking them in and out.

Her body was reacting much differently than I had come to know, and at one point she tried to clamp me out with her legs and roll over. I had to risk waking her up by holding her in the position I needed her in, and I can honestly say that were it not for the fine alcohol she consumed, she probably would have been awakened by my holding her in place. I think that she became slightly aware for a moment, but I held still as I held her still and in a couple of minutes she was completely gone again.

I put my tongue and fingers back to work at a steady pace, not fast or slow, just a good rhythm. Eventually I turned my hand palm-up and curved my fingers against her G-Spot. Her body's reaction was almost instantaneous. Her breathing became much more erratic, I could feel the muscles in her body, including within her vagina, tensing and releasing, and her legs relaxed further and spread out of her own sexual instinct.

Finally, after nearly 45 minutes of working her (no lie there! I had the lockjaw and sore neck the next day to prove it), she just started to become conscious and say my name as a massive orgasm took control of her. In the few months that we had been together she had been paranoid of her roommate hearing our "activities" at night. She had zero control over that now. She cried out loud several times as she bucked and tensed and collapsed, and my face, hand and the bedsheets were soaked with the evidence of her first orgasm as well as the ones that followed immediately after.

Afterward she thanked me profusely and asked me if there was anything I wanted her to do for me. I told her that she had just done exactly what I wanted her to and considerably more.

In the next few weeks she learned huge amounts of information about her body and it became increasingly easier for her to achieve orgasms ... while she was awake.

Wow

Halo_n_horns you are a good good man.

Yup, I'll have to agree. It's all in the mind. It's a pain in the ass too! Especially if you can do it alone, and not with your man.

Communication is the key! Talk about what you like to do to yourself when you're alone that gets you off

Re: Wow

intelligencenazi said:

Halo_n_horns you are a good good man.

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That's very kind of you to say. Thank you.

Everyone's advice is very helpful. I am going to get her a LIT account of her own so she can check on this stuff without me especially since she has much to learn. I thought that hearing the advice from other people would be more beneficial than only from me and it worked out very nicely.

Sweeterika, it's nice to see you are still around on the threads. I was off Lit for a short time and now am back to full participation even though the Personals board blows. To answer a few questions, she is 19 years old, and does worry a lot about cumming. Her guy knows it doesn't work though he tries. I have given him a few general ideas but nothing huge. I think Halo's idea is hot and should be done anyway so hopefully we'll get her on here either under my name or her own and see what she says.

Thanks everyone and keep the ideas rolling. I made her promise to give a full account of how things progress for all to enjoy.

wildwesty said:

Everyone's advice is very helpful. I am going to get her a LIT account of her own so she can check on this stuff without me especially since she has much to learn. I thought that hearing the advice from other people would be more beneficial than only from me and it worked out very nicely.

Sweeterika, it's nice to see you are still around on the threads. I was off Lit for a short time and now am back to full participation even though the Personals board blows. To answer a few questions, she is 19 years old, and does worry a lot about cumming. Her guy knows it doesn't work though he tries. I have given him a few general ideas but nothing huge. I think Halo's idea is hot and should be done anyway so hopefully we'll get her on here either under my name or her own and see what she says.

Thanks everyone and keep the ideas rolling. I made her promise to give a full account of how things progress for all to enjoy.

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That's very smart of you. One can't be a prophet in his own land. Get her in here and we can all chat with her.

The Big O

What gives one woman (or man) an orgasm will make another puke or howl in pain.

I won't presume to speak scientifically about what goes into a good "O"....I'll just tell you what I and my wife like....

We started having anal sex about a year ago. She was curious but reluctant at first. The first time she did okay and said it felt "different" but good. From that time forward she began requesting it more and more. Now, when we are separated (traveling etc.) and talk on the phone its the first thing out of her mouth! "I want your hard cock in my little ass." It's really hot, but it kind of freaks me out a little. I never knew it could be so addicting.

Once I asked her if she was just doing it to make me happy and she said this "Honey, before we started having sex that way did you ever see my eyes roll back in my head while crawling backwards as I screamed in ecstasy?".....I said "No". She said "That's because the vaginal orgasms you give me make me tingle and smile, the anal orgasms you give me make me a gelatinous blob of completely contented flesh. I can't think straight for like three minutes afterwards, I feel like I'm stoned out of my mind. Those orgasm's are like heroin."

How we do it: Use lots of lube!!!! She plays with her clit as I slide it in a little at a time and I just wait till she gets closer to "O"-time and she tells me to ram hard. That's all there is to it.

So if you are feeling adventurous and want to give it a shot - I (and she) highly recommend trying anal sex with clitoral stimulation.

Good luck.

(This is Shoshis girlfriend) I used to have the same problem. Get a pulsatron (from Ann Summers). its amazing!!! its got different speeds and vibrations, its cool!!! You could use it by yourself to see what u like, then use it with guys.
Also relax, enjoy and let go, dont worry bout cumming, and errr, let it come to you...
Good luck x

Shoshi said:

(This is Shoshis girlfriend) I used to have the same problem. Get a pulsatron (from Ann Summers). its amazing!!! its got different speeds and vibrations, its cool!!! You could use it by yourself to see what u like, then use it with guys.
Also relax, enjoy and let go, dont worry bout cumming, and errr, let it come to you...
Good luck x

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The link for this item: http://www.annsummersuncut.com/main.asp?gid=7&cat=1&scat=1&pid=267

This looks like a good deal of fun. Once you really get use to being able to orgasm it's good to have a variety of avenues that you can travel down for those orgasms. Doing it one way too much can cause your body to get too familiar with that one method of reaching orgasm. Find what works best and expand upon it.