HOW to Keep things Passionate

OK, here's the situation; I work at an elemetary school as the LONE male among 30 women. Day after day, all I hear from them is how insensitive, unromantic, and inconsiderate their husbands and S/O's are and how much sex they're NOT having. So, in their honor, I'd like to start a thread for "HOW TO" keep things passionate and loving in a long term relationship. In other words, please share an anecdote, tip, or other thing(s) you've done to keep the sparks of passion going. Sexual or not. For example:

Everyday, before I go to work (while my wife is still asleep), I send an e-mail to her work to greet her when she gets in. Then, right before my classes start, I call her at home just as she's leaving for work and have one of my student's say, "Mr. Freddy love's you, Mrs. Freddy."

EVERY Friday, I drive down to her work with flowers and we have lunch together.

So let's hear it from YOU!!! HOW DO you show your love? HOW DO you keep things fresh? WHAT DO you do to make your relationship special? Do you vacuum the floor? Keep the litter box clean? Take the kids and force your S/O to go shopping or to a spa? After a few posts are built up, I'm going to print them and share them with my co-workers. I'll also share more things I do as we go along.

Nice thread....I hope you get lots of suggestions...

One thing that my boyfriend does is to call me 1/2 hour before I close my shop and he askes me how my day has been........
that is really nice.....and he listens to me......

One other thing that my boyfriend told me is that we get too wrapped up in outside things and we miss the little things....like when he comes and sits down next to me.....I automatically put my hand on his leg or touch him somehow......

Your co-workers are so intent on the fact that their husbands arent doing anything.....are they????.....it is a 2 way street......it is really funny how......my boyfriend and I can be sitting across the room from each other and watching TV and kinda chilling.......I go over and sit on his lap, facing him.......and next thing you know it is X rated.......sometimes they need to know that you want them too......

Good luck

I learned this from me mum and da

We try to go out regularly, just to get out of the house. Take a walk, eat at a small cafe, explore a different part of town, go for a drive. My parents said that even though you've worked hard to build the home together, furnish it, make it all nice and comfy...that same home can become a little trap of routine. You become busy with the plants, or sewing or watching TV, passing each other in the hall but not really interacting. So it's good to get out and share a new experience and focus on each other. It should be understood that even the longest term relationships need to be fueled with dates.

Re: I learned this from me mum and da

MercyMia said:

We try to go out regularly, just to get out of the house. Take a walk, eat at a small cafe, explore a different part of town, go for a drive. My parents said that even though you've worked hard to build the home together, furnish it, make it all nice and comfy...that same home can become a little trap of routine. You become busy with the plants, or sewing or watching TV, passing each other in the hall but not really interacting. So it's good to get out and share a new experience and focus on each other. It should be understood that even the longest term relationships need to be fueled with dates.

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I agree......we do this a lot......every sunday.......keeps things fresh and when you are driving.....can talk about anything!!!!

On our 9th anniversary (a few years ago), I took my wife shopping on Friday evening and had her pick out a new dress, some shoes, and a handbag. I told her I had something planned the next day and when Saturday morning came, I had arranged for her to get a manicure, pedicure, and a massage. Afterward, I told her to get ready and wear all the things we'd bought the night before and then at 2pm, a taxi came by and picked us up and took us to the airport. I had already arranged for my mother in law to watch our 1 year old.

We boarded a plane to Las Vegas and hopped a cab from the airport to Emeril's resaurant at the MGM (she's a HUGE fan of his cooking show) and the whole staff came out and wished us a happy anniversary. We had an incredible meal and a cab was waiting outside to take us to the Bellagio, where we saw the Cirque Du Soleil show "O." There was a moment where I turned and saw the most beautiful woman standing under the glass foyer and then was struck dumbfounded that it was my wife!!! What a great moment in time and I quickly snapped a picture, which I keep in my home office.

After that, we walked around and held hands for a bit, then went back to the airport and flew home, arriving at around 2am. Exhausted, we collapsed into bed and slept in that Sunday. The next night, we had the most amazing sex!

Taking time out from your normal everyday lives to do something special just for your partner, is a really great idea!
Remember back to when you first met, How you did so much for each other, even just the little things like bringing them flowers and taking them out for a wonderful evening

one thing i like to do is,
Remember or find an old love letter or conversation that was really meaningfull.
In someway Recite the sweetest part of it and see how long it takes for my partner to remember ! and if they can't remember I'll give them a clue, but for every clue. . . There will be a punishment later if you know what i mean

Sometimes, I write him letters while I'm at school.. I have special stationary in my binder at the back, just for him. Then I fold them up in origami, and leave them on his pillow when I get home.

I send him emails from work.

He and I have our computers in the same room, so now and again, we send love notes back and forth, instead of speaking, just to let each other know, in a discreet, secretive, naughty feeling way, that we are horny, love each other, or whatever.

We ask each other out on dates. We take turns paying the bill.

Now and then he'll show up at my work with either flowers or a love note that he's drawn. I love those. Got one today.

We give each other massages.

He draws me a bath after a long day, and MAKES me have it.. he'll put my favourite oils in, and then turn on the jets.. sometimes, he'll join me in the (huge) tub, other times, he sits beside the tub and holds my hand and we talk. I love that.

We don't have a ton of sex.. we're just too busy and too tired to be that active (but when we DO have sex, it's wonderful)... but sometimes, even if I have hairy legs, or he has bad breath, or whatever, he'll just come over, and he'll pull me up from the couch, from my painting, or whatever I'm doing, and he'll fondle my ass and whisper dirty things to me.. and he knows that'll get me into bed.. *grin*

When he's had a long day at work, I often get home before him (if it means skipping a class or something), clean up the house, have dinner waiting, and wait, kneeling, by the door for him to enter. I'm usually dressed up really pretty or really slutty, and when he comes in, I take off his shoes, massage his feet, and then lead him to dinner. Then I'll draw HIM a bath, and sit beside the tub, and talk, or I'll have his book waiting, and leave him to read and soak. Then when he starts moving around, I know he's done, and I'll dry him off, head to toe, and then dress him, and let him do what he wants in the evening.

We cuddle.

We have pet names.

We let each other go out with our friends, and have no problem staying home alone, while the other has fun.

We trust each other.



Okay, I think I'm done.. not cus I have nothing more to say, but because it's dinner time. And he's just come in from playing hockey. *smile*

Great stuff! Thanks all; keep 'em coming...

For X-mas, my mother in law bought us a massage table, as I've always talked about how much I love to put my hands on my wife. It's REALLY great and much better than using the bed or couch (or floor). I'll usually set the mood with some scented candles and a clean smelling oil.

I just love to give her a nice long massage to end her stressful work week and the table makes it so much better. I do this without any expectation of sex or reciprocation, instead focusing on how fantastic it feels to explore every muscle and fiber of her wonderful body. It's a real charge for me when I can get her to doze off at some point during a session and it feels wonderful to see her relax, as though deflating a tense balloon under my touch.

Of course, most of the time she'll roll over and attack me like a rabid dog, which is great; but, the actual massage is just as good.

First of all I must say you have one lucky wife Freddy!!!

I wake every morning at 6am to make his lunch and lay out his clothes for the day( Ive done this for 15 yrs now! lol) I have special notes that are heart shaped, that I slip in under his meal to surprize him. I dont do it too often so he doesnt expect it, makes it more effective I think.

When I know he has had a bad day I will make a point of having something special on under my outer clothes to suprize him when we change for bed.

When he goes on business trips I always pack a note or a card telling him how much Ill miss him and how I wait for his first night back home.

If we are having a dry spell, too busy for each other I always pick up a card thats really sappy saying how much he means to me even if I dont always show it.

We are working on getting out to the movies every so often since our kids are finally old enough to stay at home on their own for a couple hours. One thing to remember - it takes seconds to tell someone you love them!

Keep up the good work, Freddy!
Cealy

I just called to say...

The old Stevie Wonder song has some sage advice...

I call him or send text messages throughout the day. If I know he has a particularly stressful meeting from 10 to 12, I'll text him at 12:15 to let him know I was thinking about him and that I hope he's bopping along okay. I don't pressure him to call me back or text, but just to get back to me when he has time. And he always does. When he doesn't soon enough for my taste (hmph!), I try to imagine what kind of day he must be going through so that I'm sympathetic when he finally does call.

He asks what my day will be like as he leaves in the morning. Then later, he might call at a time he thinks I'm free or need someone to vent to.

Love is constant and yet always changing.

Yes, I complain about how "male" he is and how he can sometimes be so oblivious to pressing emotional issues. But I also appreciate a lot of things about him.

I just called to say...

ewps!

I just called to say...

ewps!

Thanks for the kind words, Cealy! But, actually, I'm the lucky one.

This past weekend was my wife's birthday, so I made reservations at a really romantic restaurant down the street, arranged with friends for our son to have a playdate, and set out cards from both of us to greet her when she woke up. I made sure to do all the household chores for the weekend as well and tried to keep my arms around her as much as possible!

All I can say is~ do you have a brother?
You are truly a gem!
cealy
This should be 100- now to put on an AV!

Oh, stop Cealy...

Here's another one - find out what her favorite tv show is and put the child(ren) to bed so she can watch it without interruption or distraction. Last night, for example, I knew she wanted to see the series finale of "Sex in the City," so I got our 5 year old prepped and into bed so she could watch it.

We have just recently tried cyber sex with each other since we have home offices that are not on the same floor.

Variety is the spice of life and it's what keeps a relationship passionate. I should know, my SO and I just came out of a year long rut. All it took was a lil roleplaying and some crazy sex to get us back on track and passionate again about one another.

Here's a wonderful passage I read in "The Couples Comfort Book," by Jennifer Louden:

Nurturing a relationship is an act as familiar as kissing hello, as flamboyant as a surprise birthday party, as unique to your relationship as a love note written with your pet names, or as universal as regularly voiicing your appreciation for your partner. Nurturing your relationship means keeping it current, warm, juicy, sparkling with gratitude, burnished with respect. Nurturing your love means you give it the same attention you do your career, your children, or your commitment to your community. It is the act of creating an environment in which the relationship, and each person, can flourish.

To nurture another human being is to accept that person for who he or she is. To nurture is to honor your lover as the magnificent human being she or he is inside. It is to support your partner's growth toward wholeness. It means you honestly care about your partner's thoughts, feelings, wants, and especially needs. It is ALWAYS a reciprical process. One partner does not do all the nurturing: that is excessive caretaking, and that eventurally leads to resentment, burnout, and finally bitterness and alienation.

Just wanted you to know I am copying that segment to email it to hubby at work, maybe it will wake him up a bit!

I guess there is aways hope- if not with the one you are with- there will always be the next in line! lol

I think if most men were like you, there wouldnt be a site like this!
You deserve the best!
Cealy

Thanks for the kind words, C, but it really is simple (at least so far). I decided to drop all the macho BS very early on into our relationship and focus on one thing - trying to please her WITHOUT the expectation of reciprocation. For example, when I get her flowers, it's because the ACT of getting the flowers is pleasureable. I prepare dinner each night, because I know that it will take that much burden off of her when she gets home (she works later than me). What I get out of it is INHERENT in the deed. If I'm going to give her a massage, it's because I love giving her a massage, NOT because I think I'm going to get laid afterward. To go in with that frame of mind would diminish the experience and take away from my focus on discovering and relieving every beautiful inch of her wondrous body. It should be about her and, in essence, US (as we are a couple, obviously). Over the years of conducting things in this way, our marriage (and sex life) has thrived and the passion just keeps getting better.

PS. Celt and others, I know you're floating around out there somewhere; give me a couple of examples of how YOU keep your passion going.

Zergplex Says

You are all among the sweetest people I have ever met, your SO's are lucky to have you. I'v been lurking around this thread since it's inception and it just blows me away how you can still keep your love (or lust) for each other after all this time. I honestly hope CG and I stay the way you all are as we age.

Well enough of that, onto my ideas....

I'll write up a sweet fantasy and send it to her through the mail, and write at the end form her to not mention it at all. Just to say something to me next time we talk to show she recieved it (such as mention a specific movie, ect). It's just so much more sexy when she doesn't need to tell me how much she loves it, and instead just keeps it as a secret little thing.

Wake your darling up with something pleasent. Breakfast in bed is always good, as is roses (which she surprised me with) or even the classic blowjob. ^_^ Anything that would make them feel special as they wake up, it will make their day.

I know it's been said before but the effects of a good massage can't be ovcerstated. When you arn't doing just because of the sex afterwards it's one of the more pleasent things you can do for your spouse.

Do something you havn't done in years. If you used to go to the movies while dating, try inviting her out to one again. If you used to take long drives together and talk, then it's time to gas the car up. If you used to make love by the candlelight, then stock up on those lovely scented candles. You get the idea ^_^

Leave an old romantic photo of you two on her pillow for when he/she comes home.

Well I have plenty of more ideas, some of these (and those coming later) I'v tried, some I havn't but would like to someday. Well I'm off, c-ya

freddyandeddy said:

PS. Celt and others, I know you're floating around out there somewhere; give me a couple of examples of how YOU keep your passion going.

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Maybe someday when everything ISN'T going wrong.

Ang

romance..? i already swallow. what more do you people want.?

Do something you havn't done in years. If you used to go to the movies while dating, try inviting her out to one again. If you used to take long drives together and talk, then it's time to gas the car up. If you used to make love by the candlelight, then stock up on those lovely scented candles. You get the idea ^_^

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I love these suggestions. I'm definitely going to try them both!

Twiggy - well, wife already does that. Got any other ideas?

Celt,

Sorry, hope things get better and look forward to your input when/if they do.

My boyfriend and I are still dating, after two years.

We ask eachother out on dates. To the movies, to dinner, to play/watch a sport, to the theatre, etc.

Another thing, when we meet somewhere.. like after work for a drink or a coffee.. I'll be sitting down and he'll take a seat next to me and pretend he doesn't know me. Ask what my name is, do I come here often, can he join me, etc etc. I do the same for him. If I see him sitting by himself waiting for me, I'll walk up and ask "Is this seat taken..?"

It feels like we're always re-meeting eachother for the first time.

Weird, I know, but it works for us.