THE offical place for TANGENTS

So I was recently inspired... I'm horrid at going off on a tangent (and then often forgetting what I'm doing there or how to get back to the original topic as I forgot what the original topic was) so I thought I'd start a thread especially for tangents. (notice how nicely tangents fit into paranthesis)


So here's the game:

I'll start us off with a story and then you take that story, comment, and go off on your own tangent. Rule breakers will not be punished but don't come crying to me if someone threatens to whip/beat/spank you - you are afterall, on a bdsm site. however, anyone who disrupts the nonsense with a serious conversation should start their own thread and stop spoiling the fun. dangit.

(ps, tangents need not be goofy, serious, or otherwise, you decide)


The starting point:

Today, I noticed I've done really well in giving up soda. Four days and counting. Now, this was my resolution LAST year but i figure, hey, I can pretned I said it this year right? I've been drinking tea, hot tea, instead. Non-cafinated. And today I scalded my tongue, not burnt but scalded. We won't go into why - lets just say a different cup was used - thermally insulated and i didn't take into account the slower cooling time - but my tongue is all covered with blisters and it hurts.

Speaking of tea, my sisters have me a coffee machine as a house warming present. You know, the cappucino maker type. Now I have to figure out how to use the thing.

Cream For The Slave's Cappuccino

has only one appropriate source. Havng her earn her cream in the morning is excellent training.

FungiUg said:

Speaking of tea, my sisters have me a coffee machine as a house warming present. You know, the cappucino maker type. Now I have to figure out how to use the thing.

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you need milk ...very very cold milk from the freezer almost. not regular milk some how skim works best for froth. Froth not frost ...ya kow the stuff thats everyplace in the morning and screws up the windshield...frosting now thats another story, could mean almost freezing or stuff you put on cupcakes....and they are a story too eh? you do not put them in you cup because then you would need a spoon to fish it out....hmmm spooning and fishing.........

I've always preferred skim milk. While I like whipped cream occasionally (add icing sugar and a little vanilla... yum), I'm not a huge fan of ice-cream, not cream. So... generally I will drink skim milk, simply out of preference. Maybe because I don't really like the kind of oily aftertaste that cream leaves?

Oily aftertaste. Urp, this middle eastern food is going to repeat on me for hours. i had a very nice dinner with my ex boyfriend though. Seeing him is always nice but always manages to be bittersweet for me. Epiphany as to why our relationship didn't work: He's not just mellow nilla...he's grown up to be a finicky alpha, like me. It's fun to bitch about stuff with him.

We have some chocolate covered marshmallow biscuits here called "Mallowpuffs." Apparently you can't get them anywhere else... for some reason, New Zealand seems to have great chocolate biscuits. Go figure. So my brother in law from Denmark is enjoying them greatly!

I love cream cheese - especially onion and chive - on a bagel toasted - with a good cup of cappucino. but my burnt tongue today is making it hard to eat. in the mirror, it's all white with blisters. i seriously injured myself. <sigh> and there is no right or wrong of my mouth to eat on - it all hurts. dammit


oh, and i HATE marshmellow - except when you make rice krispy treats. AND i really dislike the cereals with marshmellows in them.

Diet Mt. Dew is the elixer of life. I can feel it coursing through my veins. I'm on Dew #2 of the day now and feeling fine.

Ah...breakfast of champions. A cherry pop tart and a diet Dew. Life is good.

I've given up coffee after my morning transfusion. When I worked nights I would drink coffee 18/7. Now it's green tea in the afternoon. And I haven't had another kidney stone. Funny, there is a lit author, not poster, who sucked my cock years ago and said my cum tasted like coffee.

lipton announces new flavored herbal tea

lipton is proud to announce its latest addition to the flavored herbal tea line--
CUM FLAVOR!
with a dash of lemon
the perfect way to start your day! caffeine-free and non- caloric!

I've always thought a corset to be the sexiest item of lingerie a woman can wear!

I all ways thought A smile was the most sexy thing a woman could wear it can make the uglest thing beautiful

I dunno, i;ve seen some happily drooling ugly babies (yes, i've seen ugly babies) and they were still ugly.

Speaking of babies - my roommate talks about her family non-stop (one of her sisters is pregnant and due soon) - and everyone is so wonderful and sooooo smart and sooooo talented and sooo.... gag me with a spoon.

someone shoot me. it's day four and i already want to tell her to tone it down with the discussion of her family NONE STOP. <sigh>

LOL, well then I guess you don't want to know how my ultrasound went yesterday.

*hrmph*

But I already know how it went Congrats! Looks like you'll be painting a room pink

Pink? *gag* It will probably be some shade of lylac. I do not want my daughter's room reminding me of peptobismol.

Ty TNR.

Ok, am I breaking a rule? Is this considered a tangent? LOL, blurts I can do.

hmmmm gags can be fun!

(just so long as you put a tangent in there some where, you'll be fine )

My friend is wanting to paint his roof lilac. I have my suspicions about that man...

TANGENTS? TANGENTS? TANGENTS!! I can do tangents. Actually, I'm quite good at tangents. Even my tangible tangents are great reading.

I drink coffee, every once in a while. Oh, I should probably tell you I refer to each half-hour as a while. But, I'm not hooked to it. I could stop at any time. Really.

Well, in truth, I used to be hooked to it, but now I just drink it when I need to wake up. There is a good 8-10 hours in each day that I can just leave it alone, completely.

Capachino? Did I spell that correctly? That stuff is high petrol. I can't handle it. And the froth gets in my stash and that just doesn't work. I could lick it later in the day and get an unexpected rush of caffeine. You wouldn't like me on unexpected caffeine. How am I on unexpected caffeine? Read this post and compound that by 10 or 20 (both words and speed). Nuf said?

Gags are a wonderful invention. I don't recall who first thought of them, but he (it must have been a he) sure knew what he was doing. Some people just can't seem to shut up, ya' know?

I like all gags, but it depends on the setting for which I prefer at any given moment. If I have some woman friend chatting a mile a minute about her family and their perfections, I think I would need a quick gag. Do you know the kind I mean?

A simple dish towel. It can be conveniently lodged deep into the mouth. A nice twist when your knuckles hit home will usually seat it correctly, stopping most unnecessary vocalizations in the future.

Although, some of the more obnoxious ones don't get the hint and attempt to remove said gag and pick up where they left off, without losing a beat.

For these, you need a good quality duct tape product. Another wonderful product that must have been invented by a man (or a woman with a man's needs in mind). Once the dishtowel is secure, several quick wraps around the head with the tape, and you are usually home free. If necessary, continue with the eyes to drive home your point.
But, be sure to leave the nostrils, as the object is to only temporary silence the person, although I know how tempting the word permanent can be, at times.

If all of this fails to work, the final touch would be wrapping the wrists behind the back. But, this is not always final, as some will assume this is just the beginning of a nice, kinky relationship. If this is possible, keep more than one roll of duct tape handy.

Wrapping it around human legs and table legs does a great job of keeping both together.
One leg over here <-- and the other leg over there -->, and you quickly have a party. Very soon, the topic of discussion is less about family and more about where should you apply the lubrication first.

Being a single person, it does tend to bother me when a married friend starts bubbling about what their kid did the night before. Oh, don't get me wrong, I understand their joy, and the need to be proud of this, but can we just cut it down to once or twice a week? Maybe we could schedule a day for this, so I can take the day off, if I want?

Oh, I have more to say, but I need to get some more coffee.

DVS must have gotten lost on his way back.

I remember this one time my gramma, my mom, i, and my brother were hiking in virginia. We went up the mountain one way and coming back down, someone had this great idea to take the other fork and see what was that way... several hours later, we find ourselves on the interstate, 14 miles (down the road) from our campground. We had to flag down a ride in the middle of nowhere - so the four of us got into this single mother's car - she had her four kids with her. There were a lot of people stacked on top of each other.

DVS said:

TANGENTS? TANGENTS? TANGENTS!! I can do tangents. Actually, I'm quite good at tangents. Even my tangible tangents are great reading.

I drink coffee, every once in a while. Oh, I should probably tell you I refer to each half-hour as a while. But, I'm not hooked to it. I could stop at any time. Really.

Well, in truth, I used to be hooked to it, but now I just drink it when I need to wake up. There is a good 8-10 hours in each day that I can just leave it alone, completely.

Capachino? Did I spell that correctly? That stuff is high petrol. I can't handle it. And the froth gets in my stash and that just doesn't work. I could lick it later in the day and get an unexpected rush of caffeine. You wouldn't like me on unexpected caffeine. How am I on unexpected caffeine? Read this post and compound that by 10 or 20 (both words and speed). Nuf said?

Gags are a wonderful invention. I don't recall who first thought of them, but he (it must have been a he) sure knew what he was doing. Some people just can't seem to shut up, ya' know?

I like all gags, but it depends on the setting for which I prefer at any given moment. If I have some woman friend chatting a mile a minute about her family and their perfections, I think I would need a quick gag. Do you know the kind I mean?

A simple dish towel. It can be conveniently lodged deep into the mouth. A nice twist when your knuckles hit home will usually seat it correctly, stopping most unnecessary vocalizations in the future.

Although, some of the more obnoxious ones don't get the hint and attempt to remove said gag and pick up where they left off, without losing a beat.

For these, you need a good quality duct tape product. Another wonderful product that must have been invented by a man (or a woman with a man's needs in mind). Once the dishtowel is secure, several quick wraps around the head with the tape, and you are usually home free. If necessary, continue with the eyes to drive home your point.
But, be sure to leave the nostrils, as the object is to only temporary silence the person, although I know how tempting the word permanent can be, at times.

If all of this fails to work, the final touch would be wrapping the wrists behind the back. But, this is not always final, as some will assume this is just the beginning of a nice, kinky relationship. If this is possible, keep more than one roll of duct tape handy.

Wrapping it around human legs and table legs does a great job of keeping both together.
One leg over here <-- and the other leg over there -->, and you quickly have a party. Very soon, the topic of discussion is less about family and more about where should you apply the lubrication first.

Being a single person, it does tend to bother me when a married friend starts bubbling about what their kid did the night before. Oh, don't get me wrong, I understand their joy, and the need to be proud of this, but can we just cut it down to once or twice a week? Maybe we could schedule a day for this, so I can take the day off, if I want?

Oh, I have more to say, but I need to get some more coffee.

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This folks, is a manic post if I ever saw one, due I am sure to large quantities caffiene intake.

LMAO... you are a very funny man.

A Desert Rose said:

This folks, is a manic post if I ever saw one, due I am sure to large quantities caffiene intake.

LMAO... you are a very funny man.

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Nah, I vote for ADD. Hey, my nose itches. Have you ever thought about how your nose itches while you're tied up? You can't scratch and that makes it itchier. But then, you could be gagged also. Another convienient gag is a terry cloth head band that I bought at the drug store. It has velcro closures so you can get just the right fit and it absorbs all that nasty drool. But, damn, it's hard to let somebody know your nose itches while bound and gagged. What were we talking about again??

Desdemona said:

Nah, I vote for ADD. Hey, my nose itches. Have you ever thought about how your nose itches while you're tied up? You can't scratch and that makes it itchier. But then, you could be gagged also. Another convienient gag is a terry cloth head band that I bought at the drug store. It has velcro closures so you can get just the right fit and it absorbs all that nasty drool. But, damn, it's hard to let somebody know your nose itches while bound and gagged. What were we talking about again??

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You are just a manic maniac! LOL

SkylineBlue said:

DVS must have gotten lost on his way back.

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Ya know, I did actually get side tracked. Today is my day off. I got another cup of coffee, decided to watch a bit of TV, and promptly fell asleep. I woke up with a full cup of cold coffee, and wondering where the hell I was.

I hate not getting enough sleep. For my recent past, I have had to take a job that doesn't pay very well. In fact, it doesn't pay enough for me to pay my bills. Thank you to the economy crash that happened after 9-11.

So, after a year of no work, I had to do something. I took a job in security, because there were no jobs in the IT area. There still aren't any. If you have one, don't give it up. You'd be crazy.

To make ends meet, I've had to work a lot of overtime. Overtime at my age isn't easy, and when doing the type of work I do, it only gets worse. I walk around the place, acting like I'm doing something.

Really, I'm just making it known that I am there, in case somebody tries to steal something or in case somebody needs en escort after dark. There is no mental stimulation at all. Trust me on that.

I can't read the paper or magazines, watch TV or DVDs, or even listen to a radio while on duty. Like I said, no mental stimulation AT ALL. Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than having to force yourself to stay awake, when all you want to do is sleep.

Each shift is 8 hours. With overtime, that would be 16. Try staying awake with no mental stimulation for 16 hours straight. At night, that's pretty much complete silence sometimes.

We get no breaks and no lunch. I don't smoke, but if you smoke cigarettes, you have to smoke when you get a chance, during outside rounds. No outside rounds, you take your chances, some how.

Security is a strange area. All you do is walk around and look official. Actually, if the truth be known, we aren't that official at all. Sure, the uniform might look intimidating to some, but when you look at the person inside, you see the reality of it all.

The place I work for will hire ANYBODY! Yes, I said anybody. If you are a warm body and at least a GED, chances are you will be hired. Weight, height, age or ability doesn't seem to be a factor. Just be a warm body, that's all. We have people from the age of 18 to over 80, both men and women.

They keep track of us with Paperwork. It becomes so redundant that I could fall asleep writing reports. We have to write down a chronological report of what we do. This is supposed to be updated every few minutes, if we are on rounds. The only thing they don't want us to include is when we go to the bathroom. I don't know why...an awful lot can happen while I'm in the bathroom!

They keep track of us via two-way radio transmission. You should hear some of the people talk on that radio. You can tell the intelligence level of the new hires, right off. We use a code to communicate some things, and our only fun is listening to some of these people try to speak the lingo.

We keep track of phone calls, who enters and exits a building, access cards that don't work and we give out access cards to people who request them.

One place I work all of the employees are Asian. Very few of them speak any more English than "Hello." I also have to distribute access badges to the cleaning crew who arrive at various times of the day. They all are Spanish speaking people from Honduras. They don't speak any more English than the Asian employees do.

How am I suppose to take charge of a situation, if I can't understand anything that is being said? The truth is, I can't. I have picked up a few Spanish phrases, mainly because I took Spanish in high school. But, shit, high school was ages ago. This ain't like riding a bike, folks. I'm telling you that much.

But, back to the coffee thing. I've had my share of coffee, in this job. I've had so much coffee, that I can drink my fill and still fall asleep. Caffeine isn't as potent as it used to be. I think somebody must be cutting it, so they can sell more of it.

I come home from work, make a big pot of coffee, and sit down to relax. Most of the time, I fall asleep before I can get more than one sip of the first cup. I guess it's a comfort thing. I'm so comfortable to be finally home, I just let go and fall asleep.

So, next time you see someone in a security uniform, keep all of this in mind. We are not trained as well as you might think. We are not like a police officer that is trained in his area.
Most of us try to do a good job, and never get credit for it. When some door goes unlocked, we get blamed for it, when we were probably not even told it was suppose to be locked. The same thing goes for unlocking doors.

The way it goes is like this... we are hired by a company to guard their property. Our bosses are way up there, in a downtown building. They NEVER come to see us, and probably don't even know who the hell we are.

They tell another group of people what doors need locked or unlocked, etc., and they in turn tell some other people. It goes down the list like this, until it finally gets to the guards.
Someone sleep deprived guard writes the info down in a log book, so we can all see what is suppose to be done. But, because it has gone through so many (semi-educated) half-awake people, it has changed almost completely from what it was intended.

So, because of this, it looks like we aren't doing our job, because we can't seem to follow simple rules.

I stopped a burglar from breaking into a building once. I found out he was just homeless and looking for a place to sleep out of the weather. I felt bad, but I could have been fired if I let him stay.

I stopped a car theft a couple weeks ago. They happen so fast, you don't get to stop them before they start. I saved the car from being stolen, but the driver's window still got broken.

The owner of the car wasn't glad that I stopped his car from being stolen. He had $500 deductible coverage. He had to pay for the new window out of his own pocket. I think he actually would have preferred I let the guy steal his car. It was brand new.

God, I sure wish the economy would break and jobs in my field would be available again. I'm not getting any younger, you know.