Does anyone enjoy a sub/slave who plays victim and acts helpless?

This was posted by Catalina in another thread but it went unanswered. I am stealing her question to start a new thread.

catalina_francisco said:

Given I don't believe one size fits all, are there any Dominants who enjoy a sub/slave who plays victim, that is in ways such as continuously seem to looking for validation by making remarks which hint at their not being worth anything, their thoughts and feelings being of no consequence etc? Do any like the sub/slave who emphasises female helplessness, acts as if they are not able to think straight or seriously? If so, why? Personally I know Master finds this behaviour tiring and boring...fortunately as I would find it the same if I had to feign it....but I am wondering if all Dominants think that way or if some find it attractive and alluring?

Catalina

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My answer

No, I do not like the helpless victims and weak people. They irritate me in normal life and would be unbearable to have as submissives.

On one occasion, as an experiment, I made a very strong woman to act helpless and weak for a period of hours for punishment. I was trying to frustrate her but it was so aggravating to me that I never tried such a thing again. LOL

I post this question because I would sincerely like to know if there are any Dom/mes who enjoy this variety of behavior? If so, why?

LOL...now this is a new version of bumping!! I have heard of a couple of Dominants who preferred their subs to be more in the mode of what I feel is victim mode in that they more often than not exhibit vulnerability, insecurity, and notions of feeling insignificant, but like you Mr. Blonde have never known why this appealed and am curious.

Catalina

It appeals in roleplaying occasionally, but whenever it is simply T and me, he likes that his strength is enough to render me vulnerable and weak---regardless.

Useless, worthless: words not in our vocabulary.

*raises a little hand*

useless and worthless...words to live by.

In my intimate relationships, I don't really seek this dynamic as much, but I personally "get" the submissive in need of humiliation/objectification that gets to the root of the ego and jumps up and down on it.

As catalina would probably infer, I like this in contrast to someone who is empowered on the "outside"...that contrast is much headier. But if they consistently want to be a worthless invertebrate with me, welll.....I'm there.

it's fun to play at being weak and helpless sometimes, but as for personality traits, i value my inner strength.

bunny bondage said:

it's fun to play at being weak and helpless sometimes, but as for personality traits, i value my inner strength.

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Are we talking about r/p helpless or just pretending to be all the time? Im confused now.

remove the roleplay aspect, and i would say that my Master is one Dominant who enjoys that kind of submissive...because, he enjoys me (for some odd reason).

i'm not a confident person, or in my own opinion a very strong person. i depend on Daddy for much...for everything really. He is not simply my support, it's more that he practically carries me throughout life. because of my various insecurities, anxieties, and other assorted issues, i know for a certainty that i could never be a "normal", independent, fully functioning adult...meaning, i could never get a job on my own, pay my own bills, transport myself to and fro everywhere, deal with the necessary business of life, get up in the morning and go to bed at night for no one other than myself, etc....so yes, in that sense i am helpless, weak, needy to the extreme. that doesn't make me mentally deficient in some way, nor does it make me some kind of neverending roleplayer...this is just who i am, how i am. most Dominants would not desire a submissive who is incapable of taking care of themselves, who thinks very poorly of themselves, etc. but there are a few special, sorta old fashioned types like my Daddy who finds such traits in a female precious and even sexy. it makes him not just feel needed but KNOW he is needed...needed to take care of me, needed even for me to function or be sane and healthy. and him being there for me, being so capable, so strong, so sure and calm, such the ultimate rock for me to lean upon, makes him that much more of a man to me. so i can see how some (maybe a sparse few in this day and age) would find the opposite characteristics in a female ultra-feminine.

Thanks for these replies. In particular, ownedsubgal makes some great points about the daddy role. Such honesty is what makes this forum so useful and I respect that. More personal experiences are welcome!

Definitely wasn't my cup of tea.

i don't understand the appeal of wanting a sub to be the "victim" or to be "helpless" in addition to their freely given submission.

If there is a purpose behind putting the sub in this mindset, i.e., it is used as a tool to effect punishment, reinforcement of control or just a Sadists/Dominants desire to see His/Her sub in this state, i don't see a problem with it.

However, to expect this as a permanent state of being, unless it is something natural to the submissive and sought after as a preferred way to be by the Dominant, i can't fathom doing it myself. There is quite a bit of responsibility in owning a submissive, but the level of care needed for a submissive who fits the definition provided by Mr. Blonde is another kettle of fish. i would think some Dominant's might find this kind of care burdensome after a while.

i myself would find it incapacitating on an emotional and mental level if i were pressed into such a role on a consistent basis or asked to assume such a position as a way of life.

lara

For a sesion of role play I can handle it. However the 24/7 weak ,worthless, helpless.......Would drive me insane.

I have a teen that is going through that fase and I am about ready to hang her by her thumbs.

Of course this may be why I like switches

I don't think my potential Sir would want that..I certianly couldn't be that way even for a little while.

ownedsubgal said:

remove the roleplay aspect, and i would say that my Master is one Dominant who enjoys that kind of submissive...because, he enjoys me (for some odd reason).

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Yes, but you have an opinion and don't apologise for it. When I originally posted I was thinking of the Dominants who want, and the subs who go even further to coming across as not having anything going on in their heads, make it appear they need a Dominant to do their thinking and tell them what they feel, and even when they make any sort of statement, follow it with some sort of apology or view it is not worth considering as a legitimate view because it is theirs and doesn't matter. You have no problem using the brain you were given and feel no need to apologise or denigrate it's worth....thankfully.

Catalina

catalina_francisco said:

Yes, but you have an opinion and don't apologise for it. When I originally posted I was thinking of the Dominants who want, and the subs who go even further to coming across as not having anything going on in their heads, make it appear they need a Dominant to do their thinking and tell them what they feel, and even when they make any sort of statement, follow it with some sort of apology or view it is not worth considering as a legitimate view because it is theirs and doesn't matter. You have no problem using the brain you were given and feel no need to apologise or denigrate it's worth....thankfully.

Catalina

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*grins*...yes, i have a mind of my own and opinions of my own, and my Master loves my mind along with the rest of me. He gives me the freedom to express myself as i do here on these boards, but please do not think that i express my every opinion on every subject so openly and candidly to him as i do here! i would never dream of speaking to him the way i post to others here, because he is my Mate and i never forget that his word, his opinions and feelings are what truly matter and my little two cents are not necessary. Daddy doesn't believe in any "back and forth" as he calls it between a Man and his woman...meaning, in our relationship, there isn't any "well i want to do this, how do you feel about it"?, "well, i feel like this, and maybe instead of that we could do this", "okay, well how about we compromise like and do this", and etc...that sort of thing irritates him to no end. what he says goes and that is the end of it. if he asks my opinions or feelings on a particular matter i will give them, keeping my place in mind. but it always ends with, "whatever you want/say Daddy", because that is the reality of it anyway.

i don't feel i'm stupid or beneath him in intelligence, but i do not feel i am "all that" either. i know he is more wise, more knowledgeable, more experienced, more capable, stronger, more powerful, just MORE than me, greater than me as a human being. and for us, that's the way it should be.

ownedsubgal said:

*grins*...yes, i have a mind of my own and opinions of my own, and my Master loves my mind along with the rest of me. He gives me the freedom to express myself as i do here on these boards, but please do not think that i express my every opinion on every subject so openly and candidly to him as i do here! i would never dream of speaking to him the way i post to others here, because he is my Mate and i never forget that his word, his opinions and feelings are what truly matter and my little two cents are not necessary. Daddy doesn't believe in any "back and forth" as he calls it between a Man and his woman...meaning, in our relationship, there isn't any "well i want to do this, how do you feel about it"?, "well, i feel like this, and maybe instead of that we could do this", "okay, well how about we compromise like and do this", and etc...that sort of thing irritates him to no end. what he says goes and that is the end of it. if he asks my opinions or feelings on a particular matter i will give them, keeping my place in mind. but it always ends with, "whatever you want/say Daddy", because that is the reality of it anyway.

i don't feel i'm stupid or beneath him in intelligence, but i do not feel i am "all that" either. i know he is more wise, more knowledgeable, more experienced, more capable, stronger, more powerful, just MORE than me, greater than me as a human being. and for us, that's the way it should be.

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Much like us...his word is final, though he will at times ask my opinion. He then does as he sees fit. Mind you if I say 'whatever you want', he feels it is a little bordering on insolence. As he says, if he asks he wants an answer and already knows he can do as he wants without my telling him...he sees it as I am giving permission for something I have no right to. Odiosyncracies of Masters!! LOL And I like your mind also.

Catalina

catalina_francisco said:

Much like us...his word is final, though he will at times ask my opinion. He then does as he sees fit. Mind you if I say 'whatever you want', he feels it is a little bordering on insolence. As he says, if he asks he wants an answer and already knows he can do as he wants without my telling him...he sees it as I am giving permission for something I have no right to. Odiosyncracies of Masters!! LOL And I like your mind also.

Catalina

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lol, i can understand how he could feel that way about it, though i admit i've never thought about it that way before. i guess i just feel it's easier to get to the bottom line...what he wants is the way it will be regardless, so why risk causing unpleasantness with a contrasting view of my own? Daddy knows me well enough by now to know when i feel good or bad about something, even if i'm not able to express the way i feel about it openly.

btw i admire the intricacies of your noggin as well

ownedsubgal said:

btw i admire the intricacies of your noggin as well

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Thank you...this is a gift for you to keep you smiling. http://www.smilies4you.de/content/wspezial/xmas053.gif

Catalina http://www.smilies4you.de/content/wspezial/weihnachten2.gif

my goodness!!

*chuckles*

I find that one of my biggest struggles has been in convincing M that it's *useful* at times for him to do the thinking/deciding.

Maybe I'm just lazier than others...I know that my personality is not Type A, that's for sure.

Whereas M's is.

A whole subject in iteself perhaps, the type A bottom with type B top.

There are details in the world that I want to not have to manage. To be useful *to me* a slave is going to have to step in. Quite a bit. And leave my head free for the creative and theoretical, which is how I like it.

It's very hard to get my palm-pilot boy to do something like pick a restaurant or movie.

Yesterday, phone call at work "do you want to see the 9 pm Lord of the Rings?"

-"It's late. Do you want to see it?"

-"I could see it."

-"Do you want to?"

-"I could go either way."

-"So can I. If you want to see it, say it. Say 'I want to see it.'"

This could be midwestern more than submissive, though it's hard to tell sometimes.

Netzach said:

*chuckles*

I find that one of my biggest struggles has been in convincing M that it's *useful* at times for him to do the thinking/deciding.

Maybe I'm just lazier than others...I know that my personality is not Type A, that's for sure.

Whereas M's is.

A whole subject in iteself perhaps, the type A bottom with type B top.

There are details in the world that I want to not have to manage. To be useful *to me* a slave is going to have to step in. Quite a bit. And leave my head free for the creative and theoretical, which is how I like it.

It's very hard to get my palm-pilot boy to do something like pick a restaurant or movie.

Yesterday, phone call at work "do you want to see the 9 pm Lord of the Rings?"

-"It's late. Do you want to see it?"

-"I could see it."

-"Do you want to?"

-"I could go either way."

-"So can I. If you want to see it, say it. Say 'I want to see it.'"

This could be midwestern more than submissive, though it's hard to tell sometimes.

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LMAO... did you ever see the movie "The Jungle Book" where the buzzards are going back and forth like that?
"What you wanna do?"
"I don't know, what you wanna do?"
"I don't know..... "
And so on. Honestly, this is the kind of thing I go through almost every time I go out. No one wants to make the choice. I don't think it is a dom/sub thing so much as a people thing.


As far as my opinion of the original question... I might be able to handle playing that way for a short time, but no way could I act mindless and needy for much longer than that. If it is something you are into, thats cool for you, but I worked WAY too hard to grow a spine and a brain to give it up at this late date, and I would have no respect for someone who wanted me to.

Hmmmmm

Giving this some thought and for me, I think he enjoyed knowing that outside of the relationship I am so confident, self assured, strong and independent, that to give my submission to him was a sign of how committed I was and how much I loved him. Because I am so dominant in the rest of my life, for me to submit to him was a rush for him. I don't think I could even r/p the weak, victim routine.

No

If i wanted her that way, i'd put her there.

If i wanted a doormat, i'd go to Wal-mart and buy a cheap strip of astroturf.

As is often the case, I agree strongly with ownedsubgal and share her experiences. My relationship with Daddy is fairly similar, in that I depend on em for most everything. Like Catalina, too, Daddy will sometimes ask my opinion on something but eir decision is always final. (Sometimes, if e's asking me out of ambivalence or indecision on eir part, e will go with my opinion just to have somebody decide!)

Recently, Daddy asked me to be imaginative and do something to please em. I'd never felt more helpless and dumb in all my life. I don't know if Daddy appreciated it or not - e accepted it and we moved on, but it was a very difficult moment for me.

Thanks to everyone for their honest answers. It has made interesting reading.

Interesting bump?