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Women feel un-sexy if guys can fuck forever?

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bob9903

Virgin
Joined
Nov 13, 2003
Posts
1
Hi everyone,
I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I'm a guy who can (usually) go for a long time before cumming. My current lover usually has to tell me when she's getting sore and that she's ready for me to finish. One former lover finally confessed it made her feel un-sexy. She felt like if I was more excited by her sexually then I wouldn't be able to control it so well, and I'd be so sexed up that I'd come right away or something. I told her that I could come in 10 seconds if I wanted to! But I'd learned to hold back to extend the pleasure for both of us. She understood this intellectually of course but emotionally it was always hanging there. I could never quite convince her that I was completely attracted to her, although I was, because I could go for so long in bed. Ironic right? Well while thinking about both my current & former ladyfriends, I realized that perhaps there's some invisible line there, and that's what I wanted to ask the knowledgeable ladies on this board. Should I just try to find the "perfect moment" to come - long enough so she thinks I'm a dynamo but not so long she doesn't feel unattractive? It seems weird to me to overthink it in that way - I don't really want to have to think at all during sex, just enjoy. Any advice? Thanks!
- Bob
 
I last forever too...it never occured to me what women might not like this.
 
I have the same problem, especially after a few drinks, it feels like I have a lead cock and can fuck forever, I also talk really dirty too. Sometimes I fuck my wife so long she goes from screaming to yawning.
 
Advice, not really, personal feelings yes.

While it is excellent to have a man that has a sex drive very similar to mine, it is also nice to have him cum with me and then use the recovery time to snuggle.

Then do the whole thing all over again, and again, and again....
 
Jaybird3 said:
Advice, not really, personal feelings yes.

While it is excellent to have a man that has a sex drive very similar to mine, it is also nice to have him cum with me and then use the recovery time to snuggle.

Then do the whole thing all over again, and again, and again....
Click to expand...

Oh well I can do that.....whew! For a minute there I thought I'd been doing something wrong.
 
It's not about how long you can last but whether you last long enough to please her. It's about pleasure. not a drawn out session. I get so sore if it lasts too long too and begin to wonder if I'm not turning him on. There's no magic time limit, it's different for everyone. The best thing for finding the answer is pay closer attention to your SO's response... that should push you at the right minute as well... and you might be surprised how focusing onher will make her want you more. Which will make you want her more and then the circle beins...
 
The longer a guy goes on after I come, the more annoying (and sometimes painful) it gets. Unless you ask her if she wants you to make her come again and she says yes, consider her orgasm a green light for you to wrap things up. And if she never comes, you should stop then too and try another tactic, e.g., oral.
Yes men, we like you to last for more than our high school boyfriends could, but banging away at us for indefinite amounts of time is not appealing.
 
There is a considerable difference between lasting long enough, and having the staying power to go all night long.

First off, congrats on your staying power. But unless you're superman, it won't last forever.

Since you never mentioned it, I'm wondering if it might be a case of the condoms you're using being too thick. Switching to a thinner brand would increase the sensations. Also you might try increasing your stroke length. If you're stroking too short, or too slowly you'll last a lot longer than quick long strokes. Personally I like long strokes where I nearly pull completely out, pull out slowly, thrust in quick. :D

From a woman's perspective I would guess that lasting too long might not make a woman feel un-sexy (un-sexy?? Is there such a word?) but it may make her feel less than adequate.

At 45, my staying power depends on how recently I last had sex. For example if I had sex yesterday, then I can probably last a good long time, but I have to be careful because my wife does suffer from vaginal orgasms (the poor girl!). If I last too long, she's barely able to get out of the bed when I'm done. If its been a while for us, then I'm on what I call "a short fuse", in which case, its over quick. TOO QUICK if you ask me.
 
my boyfriend takes a long time. sometimes it takes him a while to orgasm, but mostly he can come at any point he wants. if he goes easy, he can last forever. he just increases the pace more to get to orgasm. he finds it hard to control himself only if we are going at it really hard.

he is just one of those guys that needs to go very fast and hard in order to cum at all. it doesnt bother me. it's just the way he is. i take a while to cum too, so it works out well :)

honestly, it never made me feel unsexy.
 
With one girl, it seemed like we both could go forever. But, it seemed that after a while, things didn't get better for her (orgasms more intense, etc.) so we had a talk. I told her that I wanted her to let me know when she was content and ready to quit (rest for a while).

Surprisingly, when she wanted to stop was just about the same time I was ready to stop. Sex seemed better by not "over doing" it.
 
staying power is one thing but after a while extended sexual intercourse can become really friggin painful!! There's nothing that'll kill the mood for me like going from being dripping wet to being painfully chafed in a matter of a few minutes. Generally after I have a good orgasm I dry up quickly and then the thrusting of sex becomes uncomfortable.

As has been stated, unless the woman is capable of and enjoys multiple orgasm if she's done then you can feel safe wrapping up things yourself. While we don't appreciate when our lover is done and ready for bed before we start to feel aroused, it's also equally disappointing when we're spent and they're still going for broke. It can make you feel as if you haven't done a good job of arousing your partner as they haven't acheived orgasm and your finished.
 
Like a lot of guys when I was younger it was a huge fear of not being able to please a woman. I used to do anything I could to keep from cumming so I could last longer. I have learned over the years though that 30 minutes or 30 seconds, it doesn't really matter. Your body is capable of pleasing your lover in so many ways you don't have to rely on only one part. Use your mind more, your fingers, mouth, hands, legs, even the tip of your nose to make your lover happy. Sometimes it is good to get that cock of rock that will last until she tells you she can't take it, sometimes five minutes of sex followed by hours of holding her in your arms while she dreams is even better. Make the person you are with your world for the time you are together and trust me you will both be happy.

Carnus
 
Last edited:
Touching back on Bob9903's concern, here's another suggestion. Consider allowing yourself to cum pretty quickly the next time you are together, then keep stimulating her (fingers, tongue, etc) while you recover, and then go back to intercourse, paying special attention to her, and continuing for as long as she wants it. Also try incorporating more talking in your sex, telling her how turned on you are, how hot she is, etc while fucking.

Talking to her is always your best bet. Ask her what she envisions as an ideal sex session. Then make that vision come true. Later, review it together-- was it actually ideal? what could make it better? Remember, what she initially THOUGHT would be ideal, may not actually be ideal. Think of it as a learning process for both of you, one that's a hell of a lot more fun than algebra!
 
You having such great control would be very sexy, as long as she knows you're holding back for her pleasure as well.
*s

Works for me.

Maybe tell her how ready you are, and ask in whisper, for her to let you know when she's ready to cum.

Cum with her.

Especially if you can still fuck after you recover a minute, with you're kisses and hugs.

If one of you "finishes" before the other, concentrate on prolonging Your lover's orgasm.

In asking when a woman would "need" you to cum sooner, because she gets sore.....keep her wet. If that means cumming now then go for it.


bob9903 said:
Hi everyone,
I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I'm a guy who can (usually) go for a long time before cumming. My current lover usually has to tell me when she's getting sore and that she's ready for me to finish. One former lover finally confessed it made her feel un-sexy. She felt like if I was more excited by her sexually then I wouldn't be able to control it so well, and I'd be so sexed up that I'd come right away or something. I told her that I could come in 10 seconds if I wanted to! But I'd learned to hold back to extend the pleasure for both of us. She understood this intellectually of course but emotionally it was always hanging there. I could never quite convince her that I was completely attracted to her, although I was, because I could go for so long in bed. Ironic right? Well while thinking about both my current & former ladyfriends, I realized that perhaps there's some invisible line there, and that's what I wanted to ask the knowledgeable ladies on this board. Should I just try to find the "perfect moment" to come - long enough so she thinks I'm a dynamo but not so long she doesn't feel unattractive? It seems weird to me to overthink it in that way - I don't really want to have to think at all during sex, just enjoy. Any advice? Thanks!
- Bob
Click to expand...
:rose: :rose: :rose:
 
dollface007 said:
The longer a guy goes on after I come, the more annoying (and sometimes painful) it gets. Unless you ask her if she wants you to make her come again and she says yes, consider her orgasm a green light for you to wrap things up. And if she never comes, you should stop then too and try another tactic, e.g., oral.
Yes men, we like you to last for more than our high school boyfriends could, but banging away at us for indefinite amounts of time is not appealing.
Click to expand...

A GF that I dated for a long time was EXACTLY this way. If she had a good orgasm during foreplay, then she wanted it FAST and QUICK !!! If I went to long, she would tell me that it wouldn't feel very good. She would normally want it again as soon afterwards as possible.

If she didn't have an orgasm during foreplay, then she wanted it LONG and SLOW until she had an orgasm during intercourse.
 
ok... going from my point of view..
my husband could go for hours. i on the other hand, would rather have a good 15-20 minutes, and then be done. if it goes longer than that, i get sore {very VERY sore} and bored to. probly best bet would be to figure out your mates best time frame, and run withit.. oh, and not to say that a long bout of sex is a bad thing, but maybe thats something to save for special occasions?!?!?!
 
Re: Re: Women feel un-sexy if guys can fuck forever?

fnnyworld said:
Maybe tell her how ready you are, and ask in whisper, for her to let you know when she's ready to cum.
Click to expand...

This sounds like the simplest solution to me. What man wouldn't like to hear his lover whisper, "Cum for me, baby. Fill me up," as her own orgasm makes her spasm around him?
 
I have this same problem and my wife has told me that it makes her feel very unatractive and after a while they get sore. It winds up with them not wanting to engage in sex because (a.) it takes forever and (b.) they wind up being sore from it.

I practiced most of my teenanage life on not being a minute man :) the last year and a half I've had to do the opposite and learn how to allow myself to finish more quickly for both our sakes. I enjoy the entire experience and do like extended sessions, I'm not there to just get off, I can do it faster, and more efficiently myself if that was all I wanted.

The biggest problem that has occured from this is the occurances where I went too long and was physically unable to finish, it makes people feel very unattractive and wonder why you or they are even there (obviously women need to feel that they can make their man orgasm just as much as men do).

It comes back to all things in moderation, obviously going 60 seconds is not good but never is going 75 minutes :-D (in most cases that is).
 
I was once dating a guy who could last forever too. He said he could cum anytime he wanted to. And after a few sessions together I told him he could cum anytime I wanted him to. Because if he thought he was doing me or us a favor by lasting too long he was mistaken. If we went too long it was going to be at least a day before I was going to want it again. Fucking too long = very sore, swollen pussy. Very sore, swollen pussy = not only painful walking, but most definitely longer recovery time.

We found that by mixing things up a bit we could both find pleasure with his staying power. We'd start out with some individual oral, move on to mutual oral, maybe some fucking and sometimes back to oral before we would decide to challenge each other to see if we could cum together. One thing that also worked well for us was to change positions often. He was so acrobatic in bed and showed me more than any other lover. This is in part to his ability to last so long. He was gentle when I wanted it and rough when I needed it. But most of all he was concerned with my needs. We used tons of lube to get us past the dryness that would happen after I'd come several times.

Best advice here to keep her from feeling unsexy, unattractive or inadequate? Communication, mixing it up and LUBE!!!
 
It depends on what you mean by "going for a long time". Extended periods of having a 200 lb man slam into my pelvis is likely to irritate me in more ways than one.

However, a few minutes of it, followed by a pause for breath, slower movements, softer movements, a few hard strokes, a few half-strokes, etc. In other words, variety is the spice of life.

I enjoy making love all night long. It's an amazing feeling to watch the sun come up in your lover's eyes. But if you are saying you can go non-stop for eight straight hours, then you're amazing, but likely will not have much sex outside of the porn industry.

Hugs,


Kat
 
Its good to have a mixture. For me, its nice to know that I can make a guy come quickly, and I want to have that every once in a while. It might help if you tell her, in the act, that if she keeps doing what she's doing you're going to come - that way, you can tell if she wants you to come quickly or wait.
 
I used to be able to go forever until I really learned about loving sex. I found I could be with a gorgeous "Penthouse" woman and last forever or with just an average woman of looks and body and cum quickly. I think it comes down to chemistry. I'm in my 30's and still have great stamina (thank God) but can cum almost immediately if a woman turns me on. When I was young I could go an hour or more until I fell in love for the first time. The I learned to enjoy it myself instead of fucking like a machine.



Now I just know how to control it. And remember gentlemen,
the lady ALWAYS comes first. ;)
 
I dated a guy once who prided himself on lasting for hours... I hated it. During one incredibly long session, I told him I had a surprise for him, and grabbed some ice cubes to lick off his body. He thought it was kinky.... but really, I was just thirsty.

Seriously, I've been with a couple guys who seem to think that they're training for a marathon. And I do view it as an affront to my abilities. Part of sex is sharing, giving and taking. I'm pretty much always going to get off at least a few times. Don't feel bad about taking your pleasure as well, because part of mine is helping you reach yours.
 
I would rather he had 2 or 3 orgasms from shorter periods of sex or receiving oral than one long drawn out intercourse session. I'm thinking if she's complaining - something's wrong. Usually if I have an orgasm before intercourse then I can cum several times during. That sure makes it a lot more fun! My advise - focus on her pleasure - yours will follow naturally......
 
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