Tips on Anal Sex

I've been sexually active for 6 months or so with my current boyfriend and the question of anal sex comes up alot. At first I was very weary about taking part in it. A co-worker of mine confided in me that when he was recieving anal sex, the feces got backed up and he had to go to the hospital and get it scraped out, and that it was a very painful proceedure. From hearing that story I've always been afraid that it would happen to me as well.

Though recently we have tried it, but I need some tips on making it an easier and more enjoyable experience for the both of us. So far, this is what happened.

I agreed to try it and I'm laying on my side and he tries to enter my bum from laying next to me in a spooning position. We don't use lubrication because he insists that the use of, for an example, vaseline can cause bacteria to grow and cause an infection. Also I tense up and make him stop, because me being terrified that its gonna hurt (which it did, my god) made it hard for him to enter. Now another point is self-concious. I'm aware that a dick is going in my ass, and its nearly impossible for him not to get some feces on it, but should I do an enema before we try again? Should I practice this alone with a dildo by myself so it'll be easier for him to enter? And has anyone ever had the experience that my co-worker did or was unable to poop, or having it painful when trying to crap after anal sex? Sorry this is such a long post, but I'm inquisitive and hoping that an explanation will make an easier reply since you know some of the background

Well for starters, I think he needs to work on getting you to relax to accept him. It's a helluva lot easier to slide in if you're not tense.

And for the love'a...no lube? Okay fine...no Vaseline but has he ever heard of OTHER forms of lube?? There are so many other brands of water & silicone based lubes out there!!! Your vagina has a natural lubrication. Your ass doesn't.

As far as fecal matter on his piece... well, it comes with the territory. The enema will help though. There's always that theory of it isn't doen right unless it is dirty sex!

But check any thread on anal sex and the main word you'll hear from everyone who gives advice on the matter is...LUBE!

And lots of it!

Good luck.

first: if you're worried about feces, make sure you've gone to the bathroom a few hours beforehand. an enema isnt really necessary in my opinion, but it might be fun.

second: stretch with fingers first. i find sticking bare fingers in gross, so i just put a condom over them - works fine. remember to use lubricant (see below). start with one finger and insert another. try to do this for 10-15 minutes or until you feel ready. this is just gentle fingering, not rigorous at all. two fingers are adequate.

third: LUBRICANT! i recommend Wet Stuff. ky jelly and glyde, though they will suffice in desperate need, are absolute shit in my opinion. they dry in about 3 minutes and cause chaffing. most supermarkets have only ky jelly (that i've seen), so you might have to try a sex shop. be very liberal with application, and be prepared to add more. smear it around the anus opening as well.

fourth: tell him to go easy and slow. if it's your first time, he shouldnt be banging away as if it's normal sex.

fifth: enjoy! and plenty of cuddling afterwords...err and a shower would probably be in order for both of you. if he doesnt use a condom and orgasms inside you, you might want to sit on the toilet for a while...condom is recommended (safer and less mucky!) of course, though i find condoms chaff more.

by the way, when i first did it i used vaseline and nothing bad happened

AvaAdore said:

first: if you're worried about feces, make sure you've gone to the bathroom a few hours beforehand. an enema isnt really necessary in my opinion, but it might be fun.

second: stretch with fingers first. i find sticking bare fingers in gross, so i just put a condom over them - works fine. remember to use lubricant (see below). start with one finger and insert another. try to do this for 10-15 minutes or until you feel ready. this is just gentle fingering, not rigorous at all. two fingers are adequate.

third: LUBRICANT! i recommend Wet Stuff. ky jelly and glyde, though they will suffice in desperate need, are absolute shit in my opinion. they dry in about 3 minutes and cause chaffing. most supermarkets have only ky jelly (that i've seen), so you might have to try a sex shop. be very liberal with application, and be prepared to add more. smear it around the anus opening as well.

fourth: tell him to go easy and slow. if it's your first time, he shouldnt be banging away as if it's normal sex.

fifth: enjoy! and plenty of cuddling afterwords...err and a shower would probably be in order for both of you. if he doesnt use a condom and orgasms inside you, you might want to sit on the toilet for a while...condom is recommended (safer and less mucky!) of course, though i find condoms chaff more.

by the way, when i first did it i used vaseline and nothing bad happened

Click to expand...

Regarding bare fingers, in the section with health care stuff (bandages & such) most grocery stores sell big boxes of latex & vinyl gloves for home health care cheap. Costs a LOT less than condoms, they're made for the hands, and easy to pull off & ditch

WET Platinum is good, bu the KY Silk-E liquid with vitamin E oil stays slick loner & is good for the skin with somehwat easier cleanup

If he's worried about getting his cock dirty, he should wear a condom, simple as that.

You mentioned in your original post the idea of practicing with a dildo. This is a good idea, as you get a chance to get used to the sensations back there without any pressure from your bf. A butt plug would also work. In any case, make sure that you're not putting the same toy in your butt and your pussy, unless it's silicon and you sterilize it with boiling water first (or use a condom).

I agree with all the other posters - use LOTS of lube. I personally use ForPlay - it's got a thick consistency (so it won't run from you ) and it won't dry up that quickly. However, lube choice is often a matter of personal taste. Adult stores often give out or sell small sample packets of lube, so you may want to grab a whole bunch and test them out with a toy first.

Good luck, and keep us posted with how your anal exploits turn out .

Infinity

Just so you know - sometimes your ass will be sore after anal, but that doesn't mean anything is wrong. It just means minor discomfort for a few hours. My lube of choice is Maximus, but I agree with the above comment that lube choice is personal. I've never heard the feces being backed up story, and my first thought was that it must be an urban legend. I suppose it could be true, but its rather unlikely.

If you go to a sex toy shop to get lube, there will probably be books on anal sex. Consider getting one - its nice to have a comprehensive overview. Good luck!

I'm not a doctor, but...

if he got ass-fucked so hard his shit got stuck, then he was most likely already constipated prior. The lower part of your colon does not generally hold any feces. Most people feel the pressure there and realize they need to relieve themselve. There may be a small amount there, but it's really enough only to be messy and not really to cause an impaction. I would guess either that he was dehydrated or trying to use something that was way too big to fit up there (like a watermellon).

An enema will help you feel more comfortable about not leaving him dirty. However, it tends to be a feast or famine kind fo thing. If you start it, you need to continue until it comes out clean. Then you still need to wait an hour or two so the excess water will have time to be re-absorbed into your colon.

I've never heard of vaseline causing an infection. It's basically a semi-solid form of oil. If you worry about it, then wash thoroughly afterwards and there should be no problem. You should do that anyway. The problem with using vaseline, or any oil based product, is that it will destroy latex, so your condom and/or dildo will literally just sort of disappear. If you really worry about retaining vaseline, then use another enema to clean yourself out.

Use some sort of lube. Ky is sugar based and leaves a sticky feeling. I like Astro-glide. It doesn't get sticky. Any lubricant not being replaced by natural lubricant during use can be used up, so don't be shy about asking to re-apply.

If he's big or rams in too suddenly/hard or goes for too long, you may end up passing a small amount of blood. It looks scary, but it's only about a half-teaspoon or so. It's just from irritation of the lining of the anus (hemmoroids). If it continues or is a large amount, then you would want to seek medical attention.

I believe a man should never fuck a woman's ass until she has shown him what it is like by using her fingers and/or a dildo. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, after all.

You might try different positions as well. Generally, laying on your left side is what you do when you take an enema because that's how the colon coils into your body. You may find it easier to take him if you squat over him and lower yourself onto him. He can help steady you by holding your hips. This also gives you more control over how fast entry is. You can switch positions after you've become accustomed to his size.

Hugs,

Kat

Sweetsubsarahh has written a great, well written, informative How To Manual for Anal Sex. If you haven't read it yet, I think you should. She corroborates your boyfriend's belief that vaseline is not a good idea, but she does stress lube, lube, lube. I stress that too. It really shouldn't be painful.

Good luck.

Don't lick his cock clean...unless he makes you, then it is ok!

Christ, never get advice from a sadist like me!

Lubelubelubelubelube. Apply so much you're swimming in it and are convinced you've got waaay too much. Then add a little more, and you should be about right. There's no such thing as too much lube. (You may want to have a towel under you though.)

Your bf needs to understand that the first few times you try anal, he needs to be extremely patient. YOU should be in total control. You on top (cowgirl style) is one option, but I have found the rear-entry is even better. Have him get positioned and then just hold still. With you on your hands and knees, you don't have to put much effort into supporting yourself and can focus on relaxing. SLOWLY push back against him. It helps if you "push out" like you do when defecating. Once his head is in, stop for a moment. Just wait and take a minute to stretch and get used to the feeling. Then you can begin with SLOW, gentle thrusting. The tiniest movements are noticeable. I think letting your bf feel a finger in his ass is a good idea. I found that exploring my ass with a finger made me a much better anal lover.

As for cleanliness, some people choose to use enemas; some people even make the enema part of foreplay. I have never felt the need, though I prefer defecating and then showering shortly beforehand. The shower is a good place for anal exploring. You can both finger each other and enjoy exploring without having to worry about cleanliness.

Anal sex is a lot of fun, but requires a lot more trust and patience. Check out the other anal threads for even more information. Good luck and have fun!

Nothing new here

First, let me say, I am no anal expert. But the wife and I do enjoy a little anal sex from time to time.

As LE said... And for the love'a...no lube?

You can see from all the posts before me, there is one most recurring theme. There is no such thing as too much lube. One more note on the lube issue. He should be well lubed too. Not just you.

Now for the issue of cleanliness. First and foremost, you should try to empty your bowels some time prior to trying to attempting anal play. That will help things a lot. Taking a shower is also a good way to relax and enjoy a lttle preperaory playing to get things going. I do not think enemas are necessary although that will be a personal preference. For us, I have found that with lots of lube and her tightness as I withdraw, messes are significantly reduced.

One added benefit for us. While the wife is not in the mood for anal all the time, when we do have anal sex (usually with her on top so she can control the pace), she comes much faster AND harder!

Good luck. And let us know how things go next time.

DC

Perfect

Thank you guys so much. I was so nervous posting that, and the information you guys gave was extradinary. I definately think that going in and knowing what to expect and not to be afraid will help alot. you all are amazing. Ok. So number 1 is lots'a lube. I'll tell him to pick some up tomorrow, and then we can try it. I'm definately going to take the cow-girl position advice as well, my god, from the time that he's "slipped" during vaginal sex, I don't think I'd like to have him incharge with the thrust-ation. Thanks again loves. I'll keep you updated with how the experience goes.

We look forward to hearing of how things fare with you. Don't be TOO disappointed if it doesn't end up being the greatest at first. It might take several tries before it becomes highly pleasurable or it might never be pleasurable. Kudos for you for at least being brave enough to try and more importantly to ask for advice in such a clear & concise manner.

We wish you well!

One thing to be aware of if you use a condom.The ones with spermicide and/or lubricant on them can cause soreness.Some people get a reaction back there to the stuff on the condom.My wife did the first time we did it.She has no problem if we do it bareback or a plain condom.