How to deal with a raging libido?

Howdy, all.

This might be a strange question, but I hope somebody can help me, because I'm damn near going crazy here.

My man and I have a fantastic sex life. No complaints at all. But there is a little time constraint recently. He's on the road now (tour season...*sigh*), and that means that I might not see him for months...and when I do see him, it's only going to be for a day or so. I'm okay with that. It's his job, and he loves it, and so do I.

But here's the problem...my man and I are used to having sex 2 or 3 times a day when we're together, sometimes more, but at LEAST once. I have a really high sex drive, obviously. So...suddenly, we are going from 2 or 3 times a day to nothing. Zero.

We've tried lots of phone sex to fill in the gap, and it usually helps. But pretty soon, he's going to be so tired from sleeping 4 or 5 hours and then working all day and all night, that even phone sex won't happen. The man will be too tired to even think about sex, much less have it.

So...what to do? I have absolutely no urge to be unfaithful to him. But when I go without sex, I turn into an absolute bitch. I get snappy and annoying, and I know I drive those around me absolutely bonkers. And sure, I have lots of toys to play with, but it seems that lately, the more I use the toys, the less satisfied I am.

How can I lessen this raging libido?

Thanks.

S.

maybe you can....

hay - i feel so bad for you.
i dont know what i would do if i were in your spot - but i had a couple of quick ideas. i have no idea what you are into, i am totally new here and dont know anybody really, but here goes-

next time you get a special moment alone with you and your guy - take some polaroids or if you have a vid. cam. take some video.
then, when he is gone and you are feeling lonely - you can play with yourself while looking at them, hopefully you have some toys to help out too. you could also ask him for one of his shirts to wear - so you have his scent all around you. there is definately no substitute for the real thing, but it may help you feel closer to him while he is gone - and if he is too tired for the phone, you will have more than imagination to go on.

Also, i think i saw a site somewhere one time that had a kit where you can make a mould of your mans 'best feature'....what better to have to play with when he is away!

-hugs- hope you find a way to make it better.

Re: maybe you can....

naughtieprincess said:

next time you get a special moment alone with you and your guy - take some polaroids or if you have a vid. cam. take some video.
then, when he is gone and you are feeling lonely - you can play with yourself while looking at them, hopefully you have some toys to help out too. you could also ask him for one of his shirts to wear - so you have his scent all around you. there is definately no substitute for the real thing, but it may help you feel closer to him while he is gone - and if he is too tired for the phone, you will have more than imagination to go on.

Also, i think i saw a site somewhere one time that had a kit where you can make a mould of your mans 'best feature'....what better to have to play with when he is away!

-hugs- hope you find a way to make it better.

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Thanks for those suggestions...and welcome to lit!

I practically live in my man's shirts every single day, lol. It's my way of being close to him. His pictures are all over the house. I do like the idea of making a video, though...that would surely keep me occupied for quite a while.

Making a mold of him is something we are considering. But I guess part of the problem is that I love being with HIM so much, it's hard to get satisfaction from anything else, even if it's a very realistic toy. *sigh*

Maybe I'm just too much in love for my own good....



S.

Originally posted by sheathMaybe I'm just too much in love for my own good....

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Can never be too much in love hon You're so lucky, to have a man who loves you so much I went years with no one....and when I found someone he lived too far away to be with for any length of time.

Our sex life was either a feast or a famine, we'd go weeks without seeing each other, and then cram all that into 5 days together every couple of months. But I wouldn't change a single thing about that time we had......I miss him so much......the nights were the hardest. I don't know how I coped really, I just DID......I have never masturbated so much in my life It was a rollercoaster in every sense of the word.......incredible joy and a lot of sadness that we couldn't be together. There used to be HOPE....but now it's ended and I have to move on......

Good luck hon, I feel for you.....

I so know that feeling Sheath, espically when masturbation just well.. doesn't cut it... or makes matters much much worse.

It doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me... I did kegal when he was away, I took some yoga and kick boxing classes, I had dinner parties and cooked insanely good dinners/brunchs ( I can't bake ) ... that covered my mental and physical... I know they don't replace men... but the satisfaction I got from doing these activities made me feel better, kept me inshape, occupied my mind and body... and learned new positions w/o cheating hehe.

Then I took pottery class (that wheel on Ghost...is alot more difficult then it looks) I did research on things, aimless things, like historic places on my island, the "haunted" places so to say as well, just looked for things to do, go out, learn the area better, really know where I come from and try and get a better appreciation for it. Kept me busy, out of the house, away from all his pictures and smells.

Masturbation got boring, and waiting by the phone made me eat more doritoes then I wanted... sleeping in his cloths and on his side of the bed made me miss him till I cried every night... ... so above is how I fixed my lobito for bursts of time. I also did meditation/relaxation excorsizes ... which were amazing.

as far as lobito goes, I guess my advice sums up to be fullfilled in different ways other then sexual....because sexual is not only the love and the sharing and hard sweaty biting bodies coming together to be something beautiful... it also takes up every one of your senses.... luck hun !!

Bandit and BlueSugar, thanks for the advice.

It really is difficult to be away from him, although I know that he is living out his dream...and that is something only the luckiest of us get to do every day, so I can never complain too much about the absences.

But the nights...those are hard. And my man and I are both very sexual people. We communicate through sex, it makes us feel complete and whole, it's a connection between the two of us that cannot be replaced with anything else. We say things when we make love that words can't justify otherwise. My body and mind are feeling the effects of not having that...and it's only been three days. *sigh*

I'm thinking about taking a Spanish class...he's Latino, and I'm not very proficient with Spanish! That would be a nice surprise for him when I do see him again. Something physical sounds really good, the more I think about it...something like kickboxing or a really wicked aerobics class, something that tires me out so that my craving for sex isn't so bad.

And it had better be soon, like Yesterday, because this craving is already getting hard to handle.

S.

other physical things

excercise - what a great idea! ive taken kickboxing, and it is one of the most physically draining acitivities i have ever done. also, there are these new aerobics classes popping up everywhere - Strip Aerobics. you learn strip moves while excercising. that may be a nice thing to add to your new knowledge of Spanish (i think that is a really great idea too). ive always wanted to take belly dancing too - but you know. anything like that - that you could share with him when he gets back - would be great.

keep your chin up, you will make it through!

hi sweet darling,,,,

listening to Norah Jones~Come away with me... and reading your thread. What a mix. whew....

Baby, I would strongly consider touring with him, if your job would allow it. I am sure that you will get lots of well meaning advise for this. But I believe you already know that all that you have tried, falls short. It is clear that your desires are only statisfied being with him.

Run to each other and be together at almost all cost.

It is true torture to not be with the one you starve for and love dearly.

Appe

Re: hi sweet darling,,,,

appetite said:

listening to Norah Jones~Come away with me... and reading your thread. What a mix. whew....

Baby, I would strongly consider touring with him, if your job would allow it. I am sure that you will get lots of well meaning advise for this. But I believe you already know that all that you have tried, falls short. It is clear that your desires are only statisfied being with him.

Run to each other and be together at almost all cost.

It is true torture to not be with the one you starve for and love dearly.

Appe

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Hello again, Appe.

Thanks for the advice! I agree, being on the road with him would be the easiest thing. But I have two small children...that's the only reason I haven't taken that step yet. Raising kids in an atmosphere of honky tonks and concert arenas is a real challenge, to say the least...

Anyway...

We are hoping that we will be able together full time by the end of this year. We miss each other more and more, and over the last few months we have begun seriously talking about taking that step.

But in the meantime...that's the problem. Sheesh!

S.

Re: other physical things

naughtieprincess said:

excercise - what a great idea! ive taken kickboxing, and it is one of the most physically draining acitivities i have ever done. also, there are these new aerobics classes popping up everywhere - Strip Aerobics. you learn strip moves while excercising. that may be a nice thing to add to your new knowledge of Spanish (i think that is a really great idea too). ive always wanted to take belly dancing too - but you know. anything like that - that you could share with him when he gets back - would be great.

keep your chin up, you will make it through!

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I'm thinking that I'll go to the store tonight and pick up a Tae-Bo video or two. Think that will help?

Belly dancing...now THAT is an idea!

S.

Salt peter.

Pass on the Tae Bo. While it's popular, it's not actually particularly well-designed. (Meaning, not especially healthy for your joints and such.)

Look for a more well-established host and production company. Or better yet, join a gym and find a work-out partner. The exercise idea is definitely a good one.

If you're taking Spanish at a community college, the PE classes there would be a great idea. I was at my absolute happiest and healthiest when I was taking regular classes and back-to-back lap swimming and circuit weight training. Tossing in a martial arts class is fun too!

Hey, just thought I might post my two cents.

Before I have a fight I have to abstain from sex or masturbation(badfor the legs, wind, and makes you too relaxed) Throughout most of training and 2 weeks before a fight. I find it gets easier as you go, the longer you go. This might not be that much help, but I get myself through it thinking of the massive orgasm and ejaculation I'm building up...if you consider it like sacrificing instant gratification for even greater reward, maybe that'll help.

Sorry if I dont make any sense. I got F***ed up tonight.

Joe

THe only suggestion I have (aside from taking a side lover) is to redirect your passion/libido into some other activity (exercise, hobby, meditation, shopping, school, etc.).

Sorry I don't have any other bright ideas.

language classes are great, cooking classes too, the areobics, meditation, kick boxing as i said before. What about music, picking up an instrument and learning a bit? I understand that might be a little close, but you'd be playing he'd be playing, and I know it is a huge part of you life/sex anyway.

Baking is more of a science, good hobby as well. Hands needing to be busied? Start a scrap book or crocheting...

Try to fully occupy your senses, sate [/I]each of them[/I] and that'll take the edge off better because love making is a fullfilling experience (I know i didnt' need to type that last sentence but it does need to be emphasized.)

I masturbate.
A lot.
I have carpal tunnel.
I buy lotion by the gallon.

on the "bright" side, I write more when I'm deprived

Checking SW fairs is an idea
I wonder how much it is from Orlando to the wild west....

Thank you for all the advice!

lilpriss: I've heard that salt peter doesn't work? And I'm not sure I want a chemical means of taking care of the problem.

DuckLover: I'm glad I didn't buy that TaeBo video! Someone mentioned belly dancing earlier, and I looked into that this morning...damned if they don't have a class just down the street, starting in a few weeks! The instructor told me that it's a full-body workout, and to be prepared because it's not like other exercise...it will sculpt my body like that of a belly dancer, not give me a washboard tummy. Which is GREAT! My man loves curves...he loves dancing...he loves watching me undress...so I think I have found my new exercise!

Orchid: Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone. Sometimes I look at other people and wonder if they ever get this way, and if they do, why don't they SHOW it? I can't help but show it. I'm all antsy already.

Joseph: I can't think about that. I tried. It only made it worse! I wanted that big orgasm RIGHT NOW. lol

P.B.: What do you think of belly dancing?

BlueSugar: I have spent a lot of time with a guitar in my hands. I am teaching myself slide, so we'll see. I tend to get really occupied with it for hours at a time, and it does make me feel closer to him. I like that idea.

James: I agree...my writing is definitely picking up! And now I'm wondering if I have any frequent flier miles left...

Thanks, all. I appreciate the time and thought you put into your responses! It does help.

S.

sheath said:

Orchid: Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone. Sometimes I look at other people and wonder if they ever get this way, and if they do, why don't they SHOW it? I can't help but show it. I'm all antsy already.

James: I agree...my writing is definitely picking up! And now I'm wondering if I have any frequent flier miles left...

S.

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I'm ready for a break from my writing. And if I had enough miles to get to out west mebbe 2 of us wouldn't be so raging

PinkOrchid said:

Honestly, I don't know how it doesn't show, either. I feel like it's written all over my face and everything I do. But apparently, I manage to remain the picture of propriety despite the overwhelming unexpressed sexuality I feel is oozing from my pores every minute of every day.

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I know the solution!
Let me run my tongue slowly across every milimeter of your skin, that will remove all the ooze

The salt peter comment was meant as a joke...

I honestly don't know how to calm down a libido. I wish I did! Mine seems to be in overdrive these days and when I do get laid it's great! But just isn't happening enough lately.

Beer........ That's about it as far as I know??

huskie said:

Beer........ That's about it as far as I know??

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there ain't enough in the world man
problem with drinking too much is that if I GET a chance to satisfy it, I often CAN'T

James G 5 said:

there ain't enough in the world man
problem with drinking too much is that if I GET a chance to satisfy it, I often CAN'T

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yes but your not trying to kill it, just subdue it some so you can live sainly tell yor mate gets back, right?