What really pisses me off.

I know the dangers of online relationships. The people you meet could be out and out liars or simply playing games. The same is true in real life though.

Be it friendship online or a D/s relationship or just cyberpals whatever, that danger for being lied to is always there.

I have several submissive friends who have recently complained to Me about this. One lil one told Me of an Dom, who claimed several things but had no proof to back it up. Also sent pictures of a model quality man, and made up a grand story of how he was wealthy and blah blah blah.

Stop the BS!

I fully believe you don't have to disclose all personal information right away or ever if you choose but don't make up factitious tales to make you look good. If one truly wants a friendship or relationship to build I think, hell I know, you need honesty even if it's online.

That's why so many are weary online, you never know who is the next liar or killer if you were a sub. That tends to be why our lifestyle is portrayed negatively in the media. There have been several killers, serial ones even in the last few years that claim they are Gor, or Dom and lure submissive persons to them.

I think instead of watching out for just ourselves we need to also watch out for our friends and companions in the lifestyle. I mean there may be people here I don't give two cents about but if they came to me and said they were going to meet someone from online I would offer up a home or cell phone number as a check in for them. SSC, are guidelines that should always be followed not just when it is convenient.

While I'm ranting here, my own thing that pisses me off is the fact that I still capitalize My half the time. It's force of habit sorry if it disturbs anyone.

Also, with me what you see is what you get. I'm Dom, a tad bit arrogant, a big kid at heart half the time, and more intelligent than I let on most of the time.

So that there are no questions later on, when I have said something it is the truth. I don't hide behind lies and bs. IF I don't know the answer either I won't post or dammit I'll hunt until I do know the answer to a question.

Lastly for the record, ex-military officer. Yes, I may be young but I was in college before I was out of high school. (PSO). I got out after my stint in the military and now work in the field of childcare because I love working with kids. NOt like that you sickos lol.

I am married, have two kids. Right now have no submissive. I have been Dom in the Real world and online so I do have ideas about things I post about. I'm still learning as we all are each day. I never assume I know everything with this lifestyle.

Any other questions you may have can be asked, I reserve the right to not answer though as always.

Yes, this was a full on rant, and since I started this thread I felt I could post all I wanted here. So I did.

Conclusion, don't lie, when all you have to say is the truth or I don't want to talk about it.

i have alot of friends this has happened too also.

my Master knows i am entirely too much of a mess to have made these things up.. *chuckles*

i think it best, be it friendship or more, that people take things slow and never rush into anything...

That part just kills me..

Great rant MV!

Thank you both for replying, yep the fast part I have fallen prey to as well. Sometimes that connection seems so instantaneous that you don't want to be sensible.

Still smacking Myself for that one.

Sometimjes when two people meet, and find that instant connection it is just so intense, so incredible that you just want to scream "take me I'm yours".... but then that little voice in our heads talks us out of it. Sometimes that connectin is so amazing that it scares the hell out of us, and we are afraid that if we leap, we will be hurt for sure.

My advice to anyone in this situation, be cautious, be safe, but take the emotional risk on occasion, or you may just miss out on something great!

Running through my thread singing, "I'm too sexy," just because I can pollute my own thread.

Nice av by the way ima

Master_Vassago said:

Running through my thread singing, "I'm too sexy," just because I can pollute my own thread.

Nice av by the way ima

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Thank you MV.. you know what an angel I am...

i think we have all done things, looking back we would have rather not had to experience had we known..

But as Garth Brooks says..

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes, ima aka tramp bear I do.

His_sugar, that is simply one of my favorite country songs, I tend to dislike country but have seen GB in concert. And I think you put it best in your post. Mistakes are little lessons as well.

i have often explained Garth's concerts as somewhat like a religous experience.. Not that i think he is God.. just that it is such a powerful and amazing experience.

good judgment comes from experience.



experience comes from bad judgment.

SO true Bunny, so true.

Hindsight is 20/20

I don't think there is any correlation between lying and bdsm. It is just that there are people, given the anonymity of a computer screen that online provides, that will lie. Men more so than women. Not that women don't lie. I had one send me a picture of her niece claiming it was her.

The bdsm community as a whole, does a much better job of reducing risks. Which is probably a good thing, since you are potentially putting your life in the hands of a guy who WANTS to beat you. If I were a nutcase looking for victims, I'd search the nilla side. The pool is much larger, and they do very stupid things.

I've had more lies said to me in the nilla world than this one. If someone is going to lie, they will.

Tis why I no longer believe what anyone says without some sort of proof. Once burned, twice shy, ya know?

WriterDom said:

I don't think there is any correlation between lying and bdsm. It is just that there are people, given the anonymity of a computer screen that online provides, that will lie. Men more so than women. Not that women don't lie. I had one send me a picture of her niece claiming it was her.

The bdsm community as a whole, does a much better job of reducing risks. Which is probably a good thing, since you are potentially putting your life in the hands of a guy who WANTS to beat you. If I were a nutcase looking for victims, I'd search the nilla side. The pool is much larger, and they do very stupid things.

Click to expand...

I didn't mean to imply that there was more correlation Writer, I just that it's as of late been flourishing around here. But your correct it's everywhere we look.

edited for multiplicity

Originally posted by lovetoread

I've had more lies said to me in the nilla world than this one. If someone is going to lie, they will.

Tis why I no longer believe what anyone says without some sort of proof. Once burned, twice shy, ya know?

Click to expand...

I always thought it was once bitten twice shy hehe. Oh yes I know I have been down the road of seeing one pic and then finding out later that the person was a friend in the pic.

Master_Vassago said:

I didn't mean to imply that there was more correlation Writer, I just that it's as of late been flourishing around here. But your correct it's everywhere we look.

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Yeah, I don't disagree with what you said. There is no accountability online. And the idea that you can have a woman do anything you want sexually has a strong appeal. It draws guys in that have no interest in educating themselves in safe practices, and are just looking for an easy lay. And most experienced subs can spot these guys pretty easy. It is the instant "shake and bake" online subs that I worry about.

Master_Vassago said:

Hindsight is 20/20

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that's deep.

WriterDom said:

Yeah, I don't disagree with what you said. There is no accountability online. And the idea that you can have a woman do anything you want sexually has a strong appeal. It draws guys in that have no interest in educating themselves in safe practices, and are just looking for an easy lay. And most experienced subs can spot these guys pretty easy. It is the instant "shake and bake" online subs that I worry about.

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Hear hear, well said. If there were a way to force-feed potential dominants information on SSC practices, I'd be all for it.

I think there should be a test...lol. One for potential subs and Doms, before they can claim to be either. Basic knowledge and so on. SSC, test given as well. If you fail all websites should be notified and not allowed to allow you to register a Dom/sub name until you pass lol.

Ok that's stupid but I'm in one of those moods at the moment.

I don't believe in a standardized test, just a random few questions picked out of a hat when you try and take the test.

We all have our different kinks so what one may seriously be into may not prove to be the same aspect for everyone. So perhaps a general knowledge in your area of kink would help.

Alright let's set it up somewhere and give it a try.


Just having random fun here.

Master_Vassago said:

I don't believe in a standardized test, just a random few questions picked out of a hat when you try and take the test.

We all have our different kinks so what one may seriously be into may not prove to be the same aspect for everyone. So perhaps a general knowledge in your area of kink would help.

Alright let's set it up somewhere and give it a try.


Just having random fun here.

Click to expand...

You mean kind of like the lists you make on bondage? Instead of just choosing what you like and dont like, you have to add a few words of knowledge about the subject?

lovetoread said:

You mean kind of like the lists you make on bondage? Instead of just choosing what you like and dont like, you have to add a few words of knowledge about the subject?

Click to expand...

Sure, that sounds like a good idea. And no cheating!

Master_Vassago said:

I think there should be a test...lol. One for potential subs and Doms, before they can claim to be either. Basic knowledge and so on. SSC, test given as well. If you fail all websites should be notified and not allowed to allow you to register a Dom/sub name until you pass lol.

Ok that's stupid but I'm in one of those moods at the moment.

I don't believe in a standardized test, just a random few questions picked out of a hat when you try and take the test.

We all have our different kinks so what one may seriously be into may not prove to be the same aspect for everyone. So perhaps a general knowledge in your area of kink would help.

Alright let's set it up somewhere and give it a try.


Just having random fun here.

Click to expand...

Actually this isn't a bad idea! Don't we all have certain questions that are a sort of litmus test for authenticity, questions that weed out the absoute 'fakes' right away. I know I do.

There's nothing that can be done about the professional and dedicated liar, and they will appear just as frequently in RL as they do on-line.

One of the major things that time allows for is that people cannot keep up a fictious personna over time. Inconsistencies will appear sooner or later. This is why time builds trust and of course that is the primary element in our lifestyle.

BTW, the offer of a cell phone number as a check in, is one of the nicest things I've seen on-line.

~ Cait

Caitlynne said:

Actually this isn't a bad idea! Don't we all have certain questions that are a sort of litmus test for authenticity, questions that weed out the absoute 'fakes' right away. I know I do.

There's nothing that can be done about the professional and dedicated liar, and they will appear just as frequently in RL as they do on-line.

One of the major things that time allows for is that people cannot keep up a fictious personna over time. Inconsistencies will appear sooner or later. This is why time builds trust and of course that is the primary element in our lifestyle.

BTW, the offer of a cell phone number as a check in, is one of the nicest things I've seen on-line.

~ Cait

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Actually I couldn't agree with you more here. I have my own little tests when someone says they are Dom to me if I want to get to know them. But on the same side, I have a strict ideal of what I seek in a submissive. So even if she happens to be a newbie and willing to learn I don't mind that. But I think the basics must be taught first.

As for the cellphone offer, thank you. I know that this is a close knit group around here at times, and I also know that if anyone reads these posts then they have an interest of somekind in the lifestyle. So why not offer to help? Just a friendly way of letting everyone know they have options if they don't want to call mom and dad and say "I'm safe."