Positive thoughts

What is the most positive thing that you have experienced, learned or discovered through BDSM and D/s?

sub princess said:

What is the most positive thing that you have experienced, learned or discovered through BDSM and D/s?

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I found what Shadowsdream calls the "magic" in a D/s relationship. Within that relationship, I have discovered the freedom to be me. I found out that I'm not the only one with these desires and I let go of the shame that I carried in secret for years. Most importantly, I was found by my Master, whose desires complement my own.

Thank you Des,

The reason that i began this thread was in the hopes of emphasizing the positives of BDSM, rather than some of the negatives, or problems in it. I know that alot of new people come to this board in the hopes of answering questions, and exploring a bit more of themselves, and I hope that seeing the beauty, and the positive aspects would be a great way of showing all that D/s can be.

For me there have been many great things that have come through the discovery of my submission. First of all there is the tremendous weight that seemed to lift when finally I was being honest with myself about who I really am. And then being able to share that with other like-minded people who understood, and felt as I do was wonderful.


Then there is the trust, something in the past I was very guarded with, and could never really give all of to one person. It is such an incredible feeling to find someone that I can truly give all of myself to, without fear or hesitation. I would trust Him with my life, and do essentially everyday, for I know that He always has my best interest at heart. I am grateful for this, my trust in Him has given me greater trust in myself, and my ability to look at life without many of the fears I once had, and to embrace the ones I still hold onto.

Finally (for now at least, as there are many positive things I will think of as the day(s) go on) I will mention a fairly new positive to come into my D/s life. I am in a polyamorous relationship, my Master has two other slaves, whom i have met in the past month. I truly love having two slave sisters, both of them are sweet and caring, and with one in particular I feel a very close connection, like that of an actual sister. She and I have very much in common, and we both, all three of us in fact, are devoted to, and love the same Man. It is always great to find people that we can connect with, it is even better when we can share something so special, be all of ourselves, and not fear jugdement.

sub princess, it seems that you and I have much in common. There is indeed a great deal of beauty to be found in a D/s relationship.

i would have to say that my journey of self discovery has been one of the most rewarding things for me. to really examine, and then accept, who i am, is a peaceful excercise (in the end). and sure, this is really just the beginning, i've thousands of miles to travel still, but to finally stop hiding who i am, hoping these desires will "just go away", it's sort of fulfilling in itself.

also, the level of connection that this allows me to have with someone (while it is a double edged sword) is something very spiritual. finding the "magic" with a partner is unlike any other high in the world.

I learned that it is ok for me to have needs...and to move on if those needs are left unfulfilled.

excellent point, johnny.

realizing that being in a relationship which fails to make me happy doesn't mean that i'm asking too much, it means i'm not in the right place.

I see an emerging trend.

Accepting who we are, accepting our needs and finding a way to get them met seems to be a common thread here.

bunny bondage said:

excellent point, johnny.

realizing that being in a relationship which fails to make me happy doesn't mean that i'm asking too much, it means i'm not in the right place.

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Right! If someone doesn't give what you need, move right along to what you DO need!

Desdemona said:

sub princess, it seems that you and I have much in common. There is indeed a great deal of beauty to be found in a D/s relationship.

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Thanks again Des, I am glad to see that we do in fact have a bit in common.... makes me smile to know other's know my thoughts and feelings, and can relate.

bunny bondage said:

i would have to say that my journey of self discovery has been one of the most rewarding things for me. to really examine, and then accept, who i am, is a peaceful excercise (in the end). and sure, this is really just the beginning, i've thousands of miles to travel still, but to finally stop hiding who i am, hoping these desires will "just go away", it's sort of fulfilling in itself.

also, the level of connection that this allows me to have with someone (while it is a double edged sword) is something very spiritual. finding the "magic" with a partner is unlike any other high in the world.

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Thank you bunny. I couldn't agree more about the journey, i look back only a few shorts months ago, and it seems like a whole other lifetime. Though I have not changed to the everyday on-looker, i see that my entire way of thinking and feeling is now different. I can look inside now and find that strength, that inner peace that allows me to be me.... the real me.

temporary hijack

s.p., i'm smiling too. But, darlin', your PM box is full.

Re: temporary hijack

Desdemona said:

s.p., i'm smiling too. But, darlin', your PM box is full.

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all cleaned out... i had a zillion PMs in my tracking.... oops!



~and now back to our regularly scheduled thread~

Taking a woman to sub-space. Wow.

Orgasm control and teaching a woman to cum on command. Also wow!

And... being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want... what a power trip!

The sex is good too.

Just adding my 2 cents

I agree with most of what has been said here already Princess, but thanks for starting this thread.

The biggest thing for me...the most positive is how you can be who you want to be...and there are a thousand "shades" of BDSM. I do not feel judged for enjoying my own "style" of BDSM and I feel my needs/want/desires are completely acceptable.

And i love how open people are to answering my questions, sharing their experiences and being willing to help me learn

Johnny Mayberry said:

Right! If someone doesn't give what you need, move right along to what you DO need!

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Any hints? Or penalties for being wrong?

How to communicate my wants, needs and desires to an SO or potential SO.

I never used to be able to say, "I want...."

Now, I can and can do so in a positive light.

I have had soo many experiences from this arena and though some have not been healthy or good, most have been. The most important thing i believe anyone learns is how to be true to YOURSELF. Another really good thing to come from my relationships (both bad and good) is the ability to learn when
and WHOM to trust. like all things in life, being true to yourself and having the right to trust or distrust is empowering...i am glad that i found a way to do so without endangering me or any one I love. And though most of this comes from BDSM, i wouldn't have learned it at all if i had not discovered the inner me...long before i discovered my "pet" self...
(gr8 idea s.p)

sub princess said:

What is the most positive thing that you have experienced, learned or discovered through BDSM and D/s?

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I don't trust people easily. Never have. To trust Him, to let Him take me the places He takes me, to have Him return that. I enjoy the comfort level of our relationship. It's easy, and straight up. No bullshit.

I deplore complicated bullshit-ridden relationships.

*smile*

~anelize

sub princess said:

What is the most positive thing that you have experienced, learned or discovered through BDSM and D/s?

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Higher levels of communication, trust, and surrender to myself and others. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, and experiencing a deeper level of connectedness. Learning deeper of levels of obedience, responsibility and service. Experiencing paradox, and living within it freely and comfortably without over-analyzing. Turning those dark, scary places into highly erotic and enriching places... feeling safe within them, without losing the edge and belly flops that drew me there in the first place. Learning that not only was I strong enough to stand and hold my ground, but also strong enough to bend and kneel.... and how good that felt. Having sensation reframed and expanded - physically, psychologically and emotionally. And in a way, learning about 'unconditional' or less conditional love and devotion and giving myself to someone. All works in progress.

One thing I am positive about

I ain't NEVER taking a femsub. Too much drama.

Re: One thing I am positive about

Ebonyfire said:

I ain't NEVER taking a femsub. Too much drama.

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ROTFL!!! Eb, I can't even imagine you putting up with one of us.

But what if I like the occasional "drama"?

Although admittedly, it does depend on what the drama is.

sub princess said:

What is the most positive thing that you have experienced, learned or discovered through BDSM and D/s?

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the single most positive thing i have learned through D/s is that Love is the only truth~~~

it has taken me tremendous soul-searching and i cannot say there has not been pain but who i am today is not who i was before i was introduced to D/s~~

to submit to Love above all else, to feel the pain of this most powerful Dominant's correction ~~ is the most profound relationship i have ever been in...

to join with a physical Dominant who shares this profound relationship with Love.. is beyond perfection~~~

the joy's of new love are ours everyday, the butterfly feelings.. the joyous smiles, the immediate rush of passion, the heat in every moment ...oh! the knowledge that surrendering to Love ...the ultimate D/s relationship... brought me to see into the eyes of my soulMate... and together our Love ..the joy is touching the lives of every single soul we encounter 10fold

AnneRice speaks of the spirituality of or the religious aspects of d/s in the Roquelaure Reader... d/s is truely the most profound of all human relationships... when you come to realize (on your own) that there is only love and the will to choose, or anti=love.. when we all realize there is only love and we are able to share this with another--- we will be changing the world!!!!

through d/s i discovered that we are all the heart of God/Love~~
and we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams~~

Like just about everybody in the lifestyle, I've learned hundreds of techiques and tricks and though way cool, they're not that important when all is said and done. Perhaps the most important thing I've gained is a greater tolerance for other peoples preferences. I have a friend who is a male sub, he gets off by being restricted and enjoys wearing a corset and six pairs of high denier pantyhose. Fifteen years ago I would have thought him pathetic for his subness and wierd for his fetish. Now, I don't really understand what he gets out of it all in any but a superficial way, but I'll stand up for his right to do it to anyone, and I think it's cool that he has a supportive peer group where he can openly express his desires and interests which, after all, harm nobody. Oh, and I've grown enough to call him friend and to be glad that he might think of me similarly.

I think the deeper acceptance of self points made by others here are also important; perhaps I have gained some of that too.