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Virgins! (male or female)

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zach79

Literotica Guru
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Okay, sorry if this doesn't come out exactly as I planned, but here goes:
I am curious as to how many real life virgins are out there, and if they planned it this way or if it wasn't exactly their choice. Being a 23 yr. old virgin I totally understand and sympathize with all other male virgins out there. For females it is expected for them to wait (or so society tells us), but for males it is deemed odd to be this way. About myself; I have had about 2 solid opportunities to have sex, but every time I have truly got close enough to a female, I freeze up and get so nervous I search for the simplest words to form even the most basic of sentences. I'm no model, but I do consider myself attractive, well educated (almost out of college) and generally in good health and good spirits. I have seen all of my friends lose their virginities years ago, and I make no lies about my sexual status, or lack therof. However, more than anything else in this world I need LOVE, that which is unconditional and unyielding; not meaningless sexual encounters like I have seen so many people fall into before. I truly hope that one day I will find my Ms. Right, and don't get drawn into the ever interchanging partner switching and swapping that is so evident in today's society ( not to knock anyones lifestyle but it is not for me ).
I would love to hear of more stories from people in my situation and perhaps advice or even criticism.
 
Im a 18 m virgin, I kinda wish I wasn't, not because I wanted to fuck, but because I can look back and see when I had the chance I backed off.

I don't mind being a virgin and I also don't mind admitting it, hiding, changing it lying about it doesn't really change much.

By the sounds of it, women have alot of respect for guys who are not afraid to admit their virginity. On that same note, I think guys have no problems with female virgins.
 
Virginity is not a disease. If I were you, I'd be proud to still be one. As a stupid female, I lost mine at 15. I regret not waiting for the right man.
 
I think male virgins are more common than is popularly thought to be the case. Mokum is totally right - you have something special you can give to only one person ever in your life; treat it like a treasure, not an old fast-food container. When it's right for you to do it you will know, and it will be all the better.:heart: :heart:
 
What's the big deal about virginity?

I think this whole thing about being a virgin is over-rated. To me, being a virgin means that you've never experienced the wonderful feelings sex can give you.

To me, having sex with a virgin is a romantic but sexually unpractical and unsatisfying ordeal. Virgins don't know what to do or when to do it, you have to show them and explain it to them; they are often nervous and in a hurry, males either don't last very long or can't even keep it up, females have pain and bleed.

Not very sexy. I don't believe in "saving it for the right one". The first time isn't a wonderful experience, not even with a good lover. I know, 'cause I had a really good lover when I got rid of my virginity (yes, got rid of, it was a planned and long longed for experience), and even though it was romantic, sexually, it was no big deal, as I wasn't even close to an orgasm.

Sex is great when you've had it for many years, when you know how to arouse your partner, and you know how you want him to arouse you. Practice makes perfect.

Why waste time waiting for Mr/Ms Right, when you can have so much fun with all the wrong ones while you're waiting?
 
Re: What's the big deal about virginity?

Granted that the first time isn't the most wonderful of experiences, I believe it should be shared with someone you care about. Why risk the chance of disease or pregnancy with someone who's only good for a one night stands?

Just my $.02
 
I never said he should be saving himself for 'the right one', only to wait until the right time. He doesn't have to be all "in love" and stuff neccessarily, but he shouldn't just go out and do it just to do it either - make it at least a little bit special, is all.
 
zach79 said:
I have had about 2 solid opportunities to have sex, but every time I have truly got close enough to a female, I freeze up and get so nervous I search for the simplest words to form even the most basic of sentences.
Click to expand...

Ezzie stole my usual line -- Virginity is not a disease that needs to be cured.

Don't worry bout being a virgin or inexperienced and don't think about potential partners as potential partners. Think of others as "people" rather than "a female" and just let things happen. Don't bother to "search for words" -- often words are unnecessary -- and "Just Kiss Da girl," to quote a Disney movie.

Sex will happen when the time is right for sex to happen if you just concentrate on the person rather than the gender. Sex is always better with a artner you know and like than it is with strangers or "a female." I'm not suggesting that you turn gay, BTW, just pointing out the difference in attitude between "my friend Jane" and "a female."

Your virginity won't be an issue with a friend -- she'll probably know about it and take your inexperience into account. Every new lover is awkward and unsure at first.

No matter how much experience you've got, you start from scratch with each new lover because you don't know what she likes and every lover is different. All experience gives you is a shorter learning curve -- otherwise each new lover is a bit like losing your virginity all over again (for a man, that is.)
 
Okay, maybe it doesn't seem this way to the experienced people, but to me VIRGINITY IS A CURSE.

Most people have no idea how many times I've punched holes in the wall, gotten angry at friends while revealing the lurid details of their love life, or have just sat and cried due to a lack of love in my life.

However now I realize that I CANNOT wallow in my self pity or fly off the handle every time I get upset. Now I guess I would consider myself in a state of apathy, I just really don't care anymore (well, sometimes I do).

I guess I will be ready to lose my virginity, when it is ready to lose me.

But the main thing is WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN??? :confused:
 
if you think of it as a curse, then that is what will be, my friend. it's your choice.
 
zach79 said:
Okay, maybe it doesn't seem this way to the experienced people, but to me VIRGINITY IS A CURSE.
Click to expand...

Only because you let it be.

It may be some 33 years since I (finally) lost my virginity, but my opinion of it's importance hasn't changed all that much.

I "knew" then what time and experience has proven to be true: "Them as talks the most, does the least," is not just a cliche. I had "friends" who teased me about bing a virgin and bragged about their conquests -- oddly enough, I seldom saw any of them with a girl and the few girls I did see them with weren't something I'd want to screw with their dicks.

Don't let the"children" who brag about their virility fool you -- most of them probably brag because they're less sure about sex than you are. You at least have some standards -- even if they're the same rationalizations I used at your age -- and if you can quit obsessing about being a virgin, you'r going to be far happier inthe long run than they are.
 
You'll lose your virginity when the time is right. The time will be right when you've gained the maturity to realize that women are not all that frightening.

It will also be when you realize that true love is not unconditional and unyielding. While my spouse is my everything, our love has conditions and it yields. We may grow toward unconditional and unyielding, but it sure isn't that way now.

I don't think, as humans, we can get to unconditional and unyielding. I think part of what makes us human is that we are individuals - we may meld our souls in love, but we can't be human and not be individual as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is stop looking for perfect true love. Find someone you like as a friend, someone you care about, and let nature take its course. If it happens in three weeks, three years or three decades it will be right, and it will be good.
 
hmm... it's not a curse but i don't think it's that special either.

if waiting for the one you truly love to have sex floats your boat, more power to you. personally i think you should have several lovers to gain a bit of experience and technique...

if you really just wanna fuck, you idiot, you should at least respect a woman (possibly a man but more likely to be a women) more for just being the thing to relieve you of the curse of virginity. maybe it's companionship you really want, but don't punch holes in the wall just because you're a virgin.

having sex can be great and i think more towards the virgin means that you just haven't experienced sex camp...

but neither should you throw it away needlessly to the first person willing to have sex with you, pay for it, be used, other unpleasant things, etc.

care for the other person and stay friends. unless you're a truly mature and unusual person, desires to have sex will be more physically motivated than some form of karmic passionate expression of love when you're young...
 
Are there any female virgins out there? If so I'd like to hear their thoughts on this.

I'll be out most of tonight trying to be a bit more sociable, at the least I'll end up getting drunk.:cool:
 
Just think that the virgins should remember that you only give away your virginity once. You'll have all your lives with which to practice and better your technique. I'm probably being too idealistic here, but hopefully you'll be improving your skills with the partner that you give that precious gift to.

Keep your heads up (no pun intended there, really). Mature virgins have strong character and don't cave in to peer presure or natural urges. You'll know when you find that someone special . . .
 
Just wait.

Being a Virgin is not all that bad... I am 20 and yet to learn what is out there to be offered. I never really cared what people thought of it..nor was I ever in such a situation with a guy that I end up jus doing it. I like being like this...I truly feel unique. But it is true Practice does make perfect. Just wait sweety, and you know what.. you will be happy that you did.
 
Virginity

I lost mine when I was 13 and honestly, I didn't find it that special either. He was a bad lay I found once I had been with other people and it was really dull. He took me to a nice place and then watched the football, rolled onto me and jabbed his cock into me. I have no regrets except that I didn'y lose it earlier with another person from my past.

Champagne
 
Re: What's the big deal about virginity?

Svenskaflicka said:
I think this whole thing about being a virgin is over-rated. To me, being a virgin means that you've never experienced the wonderful feelings sex can give you.

To me, having sex with a virgin is a romantic but sexually unpractical and unsatisfying ordeal. Virgins don't know what to do or when to do it, you have to show them and explain it to them; they are often nervous and in a hurry, males either don't last very long or can't even keep it up, females have pain and bleed.

Not very sexy. I don't believe in "saving it for the right one". The first time isn't a wonderful experience, not even with a good lover. I know, 'cause I had a really good lover when I got rid of my virginity (yes, got rid of, it was a planned and long longed for experience), and even though it was romantic, sexually, it was no big deal, as I wasn't even close to an orgasm.

Sex is great when you've had it for many years, when you know how to arouse your partner, and you know how you want him to arouse you. Practice makes perfect.

Why waste time waiting for Mr/Ms Right, when you can have so much fun with all the wrong ones while you're waiting?
Click to expand...

Absolutely nothing wrong with keeping one's virginity. While I don't worship one's virginity and make it out to be bigger than God, I'd hardly consider it something to "get rid of"... I didn't know it was THAT disposable.

Why go out deliberately and go do something clumsily? I'm sure you'll want your first time to be perfect but realistically you won't know how well you've done until you've had something to look back on. I sincerely doubt if your first lover will be THAT perfect (and if they were, wouldn't you want to keep them around??).

Sex is wonderful and hopefully a never ending journey, but no need to hit every pothole on the way to find out you've got a good suspension either!

Your time will come. No need to put any additional pressure on yourself.:cool:
 
OK back once more

From what I've gathered so far it is not a curse (or so they say)

The first time wont ever be "perfect" (or so they say)

But how long does this go on before I'm considered abnormal?
Because as many have said it is not strange. I feel out of place. I DO NOT want to be a 24 yr old virgin. Yet at the same time I WILL NOT go to a prostitute, or even take a pity fuck (which I have been offered before)

However what it all boils down to is summoning up all the cojones I have and giving that first kiss, first touch to the one I care about at that moment.

I will not deny myself another opportunity unless I truly feel it in my heart.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH when will the nightmare end???
 
zach79 said:

But how long does this go on before I'm considered abnormal?
Click to expand...

Seeing as there are folks here who crossdress, use whips, wear diapers, spank, lust after farm animals, pierce, tattoo, like whip cream smeared across their genitalia and other things...

what's normal or for that matter, what's abnormal??

:confused:

You'll be fine. And when the "nightmare" ends, I'm sure you'll be that much more appreciative of what you're going through now.
 
zach79 said:

However what it all boils down to is summoning up all the cojones I have and giving that first kiss, first touch to the one I care about at that moment.

I will not deny myself another opportunity unless I truly feel it in my heart.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH when will the nightmare end???
Click to expand...

you know, it seems to me that the virginity part isn't the entire issue (yes, i'm stating the obvious).

your problem is you're too shy to make the first move that may lead to sex (which is what you said yourself).

maybe you just think about sex too much when you're with the one you care about.

STOP THINKING ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN!

what you need to do is just buck up some courage and make a move. it may not lead to sex. you make have to make a lot of moves before you get close to sex.

so, concentrate on your real problem and cease the complaints on the "curse" or "nightmare" of your virginity
 
zach man, look at your language! "curse", "nightmare"...

Unless you learn to stop looking at every chick as a possible tool you can use to 'end your torture' while deluding yourself tht you are looking for love, you will not find antyhing satisfying.

Lighten up, dude. Meet a nice girl, enjoy getting to know HER, and let it come naturally. If you keep building it up in your mind, you are bound to be disappointed.

I know a guy who was a virgin at 27. One day he met a great woman, fell head over heels, she's his first and only and they just had their second kid. They adore eachother and have a wonderful family. Granted, you might not be interested in the marriage bit right now, but all I'm saying is, it will happen for you when you are ready for it. Chill.
 
Re: What's the big deal about virginity?

Svenskaflicka said:
I think this whole thing about being a virgin is over-rated. To me, being a virgin means that you've never experienced the wonderful feelings sex can give you.

To me, having sex with a virgin is a romantic but sexually unpractical and unsatisfying ordeal. Virgins don't know what to do or when to do it, you have to show them and explain it to them; they are often nervous and in a hurry, males either don't last very long or can't even keep it up, females have pain and bleed.

Not very sexy. I don't believe in "saving it for the right one". The first time isn't a wonderful experience, not even with a good lover. I know, 'cause I had a really good lover when I got rid of my virginity (yes, got rid of, it was a planned and long longed for experience), and even though it was romantic, sexually, it was no big deal, as I wasn't even close to an orgasm.

Sex is great when you've had it for many years, when you know how to arouse your partner, and you know how you want him to arouse you. Practice makes perfect.

Why waste time waiting for Mr/Ms Right, when you can have so much fun with all the wrong ones while you're waiting?
Click to expand...

For those that dont know, Svenskaflicka's country is a lot more open about sexuality which is learned about far earlier than most countries. With more openness about it in education, societally and much less stringent than many other first world countries.

The attitude in Sweden with regards to this is very mature even though some would potentially see this as otherwise. As it promotes more knowledge earlier in peoples life so that they are more educated in decisions of sexuality.

With of course being more aware of the repercussions allows for earlier deterring many potential mistakes being made. And makes people better able to handle much that many in first world countries often end up stumbling through.

Just adding these comments to show that she isnt a harsh person with the views she has presented. Whether I agree with her or not is irrelevant, though providing more information to allow others to more understand her view.. is relevant.

My own opinions of virginity are posted on this linked thread
 
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