December Poetry Challenge - All I got for Christmas was this stinking --

Some of you are going to dislike this one and I hope you decide to participate in the CHALLENGE anyway.

I'd like to see poetry about your childhood holiday disappointments. You know, that time Santa brought you a cheap knock-off horse, with plastic hair, instead of Barbie's REAL pony with combable mane and tail.

Or how about when you wanted a BB gun and Santa brought you Lego and a note that said, "I don't believe in guns. Love, Santa."?

I'm woefully uninformed about non-Christian traditions as to gift giving at this time of year, so if your family has other seasonal celebrations, I'm sure I'm not alone in wanting to hear how you were let down by finding something less than perfect in your holiday package as well.

You're all likely thinking, so what's to dislike, Champy? Well, I'll tell ya -

I want it in a series of rhyming quatrains.

Yes, that's right, rhyme and if you decide meter as well, you're gonna tickle the horns right off Santa's reindeer.

I guess we could call it a ballad or something... I'll leave terminology to the experts. The generally accepted scheme of abab or aabb will serve. I really hope to have fun with it. That's all, just a giggle.

I know it's the holidays so let's be flexible with this one.

• Length is up to you.
• When you post your poem is up to you.
• Post your poetry to this thread so that it doesn't get lost in the holiday crush.
• If you want critique try to critique someone else's poem first.

Have a wonderful holiday season, everyone and please, if you have a few, get a ride.

champagne1982 said:

I want it in rhyming quatrains.

Click to expand...

Damn you!

OK, I'll give it a shot... *sigh*

champagne1982 said:

Some of you are going to dislike this one and I hope you decide to participate in the CHALLENGE anyway.

I'd like to see poetry about your childhood holiday disappointments. You know, that time Santa brought you a cheap knock-off horse, with plastic hair, instead of Barbie's REAL pony with combable mane and tail.

Or how about when you wanted a BB gun and Santa brought you Lego and a note that said, "I don't believe in guns. Love, Santa."?

I'm woefully uninformed about non-Christian traditions as to gift giving at this time of year, so if your family has other seasonal celebrations, I'm sure I'm not alone in wanting to hear how you were let down by finding something less than perfect in your holiday package as well.

You're all likely thinking, so what's to dislike, Champy? Well, I'll tell ya -

I want it in rhyming quatrains.

Yes, that's right, rhyme and if you decide meter as well, you're gonna tickle the horns right off Santa's reindeer.

I know it's the holidays so let's be flexible with this one.

• Length is up to you.
• When you post your poem is up to you.
• Post your poetry to this thread so that it doesn't get lost in the holiday crush.
• If you want critique try to critique someone else's poem first.

Have a wonderful holiday season, everyone and please, if you have a few, get a ride.

Click to expand...

okay, I am kinda with LH on that one.. ( Im thinking she meant the "damn you" with her usual loving sense of humor )

Does every single line have to rhyme? Champ, can you show me an example?

champagne1982 said:

I want it in rhyming quatrains.

Click to expand...

AHHHH!

Maria2394 said:

okay, I am kinda with LH on that one.. ( Im thinking she meant the "damn you" with her usual loving sense of humor )

Does every single line have to rhyme? Champ, can you show me an example?

Click to expand...

Well, I did a little research and discovered that a quatrain is a four line stanza with a rhyming pattern of aabb or abab.

Now, what I really want is a poem written in four line stanzas with a rhyming pattern of aabb ccdd or the other - abab cdcd and so on until you're finished your poem. I guess we could call them ballads or just poems. Whatever works .

So, I'll try to fix the requirements up and get mine on the go ... Do you really want examples or is that okay for now?

champagne1982 said:

Well, I did a little research and discovered that a quatrain is a four line stanza with a rhyming pattern of aabb or abab.

Now, what I really want is a poem written in four line stanzas with a rhyming pattern of aabb ccdd or the other - abab cdcd and so on until you're finished your poem. I guess we could call them ballads or just poems. Whatever works .

So, I'll try to fix the requirements up and get mine on the go ... Do you really want examples or is that okay for now?

Click to expand...

that is all I needed to know.

Thanks!!

Lauren Hynde said:

Damn you!

OK, I'll give it a shot... *sigh*

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you know what? I read her whole post and missed that line..... ha! Denial is a beautiful thing.

okay

rhyme

Jenny you can do this
you used to do it all the time.


( I am hyperventilating. Rhyming quatrains....damn it Santa I wanted free verse for Christmas but that would not be as much of a challenge now would it )

okay I will try.

but it might take some psychotherapy to dig into the memories of disappointment. I think I was not disappointed about Christmas until my teen angst phase when everything about life was a disappointment....


I remember writing a poem that went something like this:

you know something's wrong when
your family passes cookies and nog
and all you can think about
was that kitten buried in the yard
up to it's neck and the lawnmower that came

you know something's wrong when
the sound of scotch tape makes you weep
when all you long for
is to be the child looking in
on this Norman Rockwell scene
just for once to be the one
who wants to come inside
and be warm.

Delaid Gratification

On Christmas morning, the tree lit,
I was searching frantically for gifts
to soothe my fevered adult mind.
Not looking, though, for orange rinds

or nuts and sure not sacks of coal
under said tree—my goodness no.
Just looking for my own sweetie
to disengage virginity

and make me full a man. Eighteen
sure seemed long enough to teem
without hormonical release
and lie alone on dorm room sheets.

But underneath, the tree was bare
of foxy girls with long straight hair.
Just socks and boring underwear
were all the gifts I got that year.

That New Year's Eve was dark and drear.
No midnight kiss from sweet appeared.
My birthday followed hard upon.
My present then, a sweet-shanked blonde

who initiated me to Life
and finally became my wife
some years further down the road.
That tail is done; that story told.

Anna, anna. I have never realy liked Christmas. It sickens me, the commercialization. Im not a scrooge, I love to give, but its the way that money has ruined a holiday that should have nothing to do with money.. And the stores and the people in the stores. Its never ever a happy thing, the bitching and shoving and now people trampling one another to get a playstation

The worst Christmas I ever had was when I was 12, all I asked for was one pair of REAL Levi's denim jeans. The ones with the little "status" tag, ya know, the red one on the back pocket.

My poor mother, well, she did the best she could. I hate to say it, but my dad WAS a scrooge. I remember her telling me once that he would give her 100$ to do all her shopping and that was for 4 kids. She wasnt allowed to work because my dad was one of those type men who felt like if his wife worked, that somehow reflected to the world that he could not provide for his family.

so, do ya think I got me one pair of REAL Levis?

Oh yeah, she went to the Sears outlet store and bought 2 pair of gray-ish color corduroy Levis and as most people know, when you purchase a brand name at an outlet store they REMOVE the status tag.

It broke my heart, I felt so selfish and that made it even worse. And I wore those friggin pants ( which didnt fit because she had to get a larger size because they didnt have my size.) so there I was, in baggy cords, the first day back at school after Christmas, and all the kids at school, what did you get? what did you get?

I told them I didnt get anything.

I might just make up a poem about something I wanted but never asked for, because I dont think I can handle writing about the fake Levis and if I did, it would reek of bitterness, lol. sort of like this post...

ShyErraticTable said:

On Christmas morning, the tree lit,
I was searching frantically for gifts
to soothe my fevered adult mind.
Not looking, though, for orange rinds

or nuts and sure not sacks of coal
under said tree—my goodness no.
Just looking for my own sweetie
to disengage virginity

and make me full a man. Eighteen
sure seemed long enough to teem
without hormonical release
and lie alone on dorm room sheets.

But underneath, the tree was bare
of foxy girls with long straight hair.
Just socks and boring underwear
were all the gifts I got that year.

That New Year's Eve was dark and drear.
No midnight kiss from sweet appeared.
My birthday followed hard upon.
My present then, a sweet-shanked blonde

who initiated me to Life
and finally became my wife
some years further down the road.
That tail is done; that story told.

Click to expand...

Wow! That was fast! And whose little alt art thou?

champagne1982 said:

Well, I did a little research and discovered that a quatrain is a four line stanza with a rhyming pattern of aabb or abab.

Now, what I really want is a poem written in four line stanzas with a rhyming pattern of aabb ccdd or the other - abab cdcd and so on until you're finished your poem. I guess we could call them ballads or just poems. Whatever works .

So, I'll try to fix the requirements up and get mine on the go ... Do you really want examples or is that okay for now?

Click to expand...

So theoretically it could be a sonnet--as long as you don't argue with a couplet at the end. If it's a sonnet Fooly will want to participate.

Angeline said:

So theoretically it could be a sonnet--as long as you don't argue with a couplet at the end. If it's a sonnet Fooly will want to participate.

Click to expand...

LOL. I wonder how mr The_Fool will take being the carrot dangling from a stick. I'm gonna have to cave on the couplet thing. Okay, okay but I can't guarantee the other participants' cooperation .

So, sonnets are in... or maybe - hehehe - a quatrason or a sonnetrain?

Maria2394 said:

<snip> so there I was, in baggy cords, the first day back at school after Christmas, and all the kids at school, what did you get? what did you get?

I told them I didnt get anything.

I might just make up a poem about something I wanted but never asked for, because I dont think I can handle writing about the fake Levis and if I did, it would reek of bitterness, lol. sort of like this post...

Click to expand...

This is a poem in itself. I'm sorry I never considered those sorts of disappointments, which are very real and heart wrenching. I'm sending a hug to that little 12 year old girly and a whisper that it's not the worth of what you wear on your ass but what the asses around you are worth.

Hey Sweetie, dont worry about it, my memory is my own problem. I shoudl have just been grateful I had something to wear, lol.
I dont worry about "status tags" anymore. BUt you knwo how mean kids can be. And the funny thing is, we werent poor, my dad was a g oo dhard worker, we werent rich either,. but my dad , bless his heart, had his problems.

Its okay. Your challenge is a good idea and I will come up with apoem that isnt depressing. just kinda difficult sometimes to deal with holidays, daddy died on memorial day ( 5/28/01) and mama died 12/28/01.

bleh

its okay,levis suck anyway

normal jean said:

Hey Sweetie, dont worry about it, my memory is my own problem. I shoudl have just been grateful I had something to wear, lol.
I dont worry about "status tags" anymore. BUt you knwo how mean kids can be. And the funny thing is, we werent poor, my dad was a g oo dhard worker, we werent rich either,. but my dad , bless his heart, had his problems.

Its okay. Your challenge is a good idea and I will come up with apoem that isnt depressing. just kinda difficult sometimes to deal with holidays, daddy died on memorial day ( 5/28/01) and mama died 12/28/01.

bleh

its okay,levis suck anyway

Click to expand...

Gimme Wranglers or gimme ... uhmmm.. gimme nuthin' at all .

tossing one in the kettle...

Toothless bubble gum

All I wanted for Christmas was my two front teeth
and all I recieved was a bubble gum machine.
I was always ready to eat something sweet
their heart was in the right place, not being mean.

I chewed on the thought of what I could do
like pre-squash the gum with a rubber mallet
this didn't work cause it stuck to the floor like glue
with another bright idea to the kitchen I jet.

The blender spewed sparks when I turned it on
the tacky treats obviously did not blend well
before I knew it, almost all the gum was gone
all my attempts to soften the gum had failed.

So like a jaw breaker I put one in my mouth
my back teeth had no trouble getting the gum smashed
by the end of the day my bubble gum machine was out
Mom filled the machine with peppermints and said, Merry Christmas

Christmas Thong

I love Christmas, don't get me wrong
but my worst gift ever was a thong.
Back then I weighed 200 pounds,
that thing wouldn't even fit around.

My husband thought it would be funny
so he bought one with a tail like a bunny.
Did he think I would wear this? Oh yes!
That man had lost his mind, I guess.

I finally got over it, I'll be okay,
what goes around, comes around they say.
This year he'll get something that I want.
Underwear shaped like an elephant trunk!

Angeline said:

So theoretically it could be a sonnet--as long as you don't argue with a couplet at the end. If it's a sonnet Fooly will want to participate.

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Pfffffft.

The_Fool said:

Pfffffft.

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Shhhhh! You hate em but you can write em!

Unbridled_Passion said:

I love Christmas, don't get me wrong
but my worst gift ever was a thong.
Back then I weighed 200 pounds,
that thing wouldn't even fit around.

My husband thought it would be funny
so he bought one with a tail like a bunny.
Did he think I would wear this? Oh yes!
That man had lost his mind, I guess.

I finally got over it, I'll be okay,
what goes around, comes around they say.
This year he'll get something that I want.
Underwear shaped like an elephant trunk!

Click to expand...

This is hilarious! Sad, because that's what your husband gave you as a gift for Christmas, but hey, you'll have your revenge, right?

The Gift

The little bear, big sister has
Upon her bed, sits neatly as
She feels its smooth and flowing furs
And wishes it were really hers.

With Christmas coming, every day
More presents seem to find their way
About the tree and she shakes each,
Except those big or out of reach.

One day she finds big sister gave
Her something, too, but she is brave:
She knows that it is not that bear.
It's not so big what's full in there.

Besides, the bear's still where it was,
And so it's not wrapped up, because
There's only one of them around,
And bears don't make that bouncing sound.

On Christmas day we get to see
What other's hopes for us might be.
Unwrapping happens, one by one.
We laugh and thank all till it’s done.

This year big sister gets a gift
The little one proceeds to lift.
She holds it up. We see her smile.
Undoing this wrap takes a while.

Inside big sister is surprised
To see that bear with friendly eyes.
The little one is clearly pleased.
The big one thinks that she’s been teased.

Now after we had gone to bed,
And thoughts had charmed the big one's head,
Then to her sister's side she crept,
And tucked that bear there while she slept.

Carrie, I tweaked on your requirement just a bit, so feel free to chastise all you want. Just know that I am not listening....much.


Ange, you and I are going to have a serious discussion one of these days....

PS....I broke the rules on the last couplet. So sue me.


A Child’s Lament for Ghosts of Christmas Past


The winter’s blanket white and pure
Spreads comfort onto the blessed night.
A scent of pine inside adds its allure
To tinsel, garland, strings of twinkling lights.

There is a special magic in the air.
The scene is perfect for this time of cheer
And all the people show how much they care,
A Yuletide blessing ends another year.

An iridescent glaze upon the pane.
That yields to the slow scratching of my nail.
A sense this year that things just aren’t the same,
My thoughts of Christmas cheer have seemed to fail.

As innocence has slowly drifted by
I cannot find the joy, no matter how I try.

The_Fool said:

Carrie, I tweaked on your requirement just a bit, so feel free to chastise all you want. Just know that I am not listening....much.


Ange, you and I are going to have a serious discussion one of these days....

PS....I broke the rules on the last couplet. So sue me.


A Child’s Lament for Ghosts of Christmas Past


The winter’s blanket white and pure
Spreads comfort onto the blessed night.
A scent of pine inside adds its allure
To tinsel, garland, strings of twinkling lights.

There is a special magic in the air.
The scene is perfect for this time of cheer
And all the people show how much they care,
A Yuletide blessing ends another year.

An iridescent glaze upon the pane.
That yields to the slow scratching of my nail.
A sense this year that things just aren’t the same,
My thoughts of Christmas cheer have seemed to fail.

As innocence has slowly drifted by
I cannot find the joy, no matter how I try.

Click to expand...

I think you're wonderful. I also think we're locked in sonnet karma. Yeah, yeah I know it's my turn. I have three days off after today, so I can be more poetical-like then.

You rawk, M.

Burnt Coffee On Christmas Morning

I remember waking to the smell of coffee beans
roasting, thinking Santa had brought me a new
grinder or coffee machine, not a bunch of teens
crowded around my stocking, the stink of stew

coming from the socks some unfortunate relative
had gotten me. I had hoped for a guillotine
that second, and a large pile of strong sedative
to knock them out, so I could put them in my pristine

new slicing machine. I would have served the head
for Christmas dinner, along with the talking boar
and stupid singing fish filled with toxic lead,
but that would have blown the oven with a loud roar

and since the kitchen had just been refitted,
didn't want to spend any more cash on tiles
and cupboards, things to hide away knitted
jumpers and my annual make-believe smiles.

how i spent last xmass....

Did you get this for me?
You really shouldn’t have
Oh, it’s for him…. I see
You really shouldn’t have