any suggestions ?!?!

alright , ive posted here before .. about sex .. well .. now im posting about my relationship ... heres the lowdown .. we met a little over two years ago over the net .. we had alot of fun .. i moved away with my mom ... we got back in touch .. i guess you can say the love was rekindled in a way .. i moved to his home which is farrr away from where im used to to be with him ... well .. basically at first .. it was great .. i posted here because the sex kinda just .. stopped .. or at least he stopped caring .. and now .. its like .. i get to spend time with him when its convienant for him .. like .. he comes home from work .. and sits at the tv screen , or at the computer screen .. i really dont understand this .. its almost like , im unimportant to him now .. the only time we really spend time together is in the bedroom , which i honestly dont consider spending time together at all .. im so confused .. i feel , basically .. like ... ugly , and not good enough .. for him .. sometimes ... im not sure if this is even the right place to post this , but pretty much im asking what other people think they would do , if they were in this situation .. or somewhat the same situation .. because i am totally at a loss for words here .. this month , weve had sex maybe 5 times , and thats at most .. hes leaving for vacation this weekend , and im really going to miss him .. i dont know whats going to happen between now and then with our relationship .. can someone please help me ?

How long was it "great" before the interest/intimacy started to lessen?

Have you talked to him in a non-confrontational way outside of the bedroom? IOW, have you told him it seems like you're spending less and less time together, that you get the impression he's preoccupied, and you'd like more intimacy? If so, what was his response?

Also, have there been any big changes or stressors in his life that could be correlated with the drop in interest? Does he have symptoms of depression?

When you do have sex, is it high-quality? We have about the same amount of sex (excluding masturbation, blow/hand jobs, etc.) as you do, but having quality over quantity is preferred for us. So, maybe increasing the quality would help if having more sex isn't possible for whatever reason(s).

I know it's tempting to think, 'I must not be good enough if he doesn't want to spend time with me and have a lot of sex,' but that's a very dangerous road, so you need to stop it now. Plus, low self-esteem isn't going to make you any more attractive, so if nothing else, stop blaming yourself in the interest of that.

This is absolutely the right place to post this, and the first thing you have to realise, as Erika said is it's not your fault or that you're ugly. These posts pop up from time to time, mostly men but sometimes women. It comes down to this... there's not much you can do. All you can do it talk to him and find out if there's a problem and if there is help him through it. You can give him time and hope he works through whatever it is on his own. But it could also be that he's just not bothered. Maybe he's gone off you (again, not your fault), or maybe since you've moved in he figures he's got you now so he doesn't have to try anymore. If the behavior continues and he won't talk to you my advice would be cut your losses and leave him. Life's too short to waste even a day on a relationship that's not going anywhere.

If you do tell him you're leaving be prepared for the "I swear I'll change, I'll do anything, just give me another chance" routine. It's bollocks.

Bowling is a non-contact sport.

Never agree to be a pin.

well as erika said , try to talk to him about the things i have concerns about .. which i do , not like every day , but whenever i get the chance to . more or less , i talked to him last night after i posted , and honestly .. i didnt tell him i was kinda hurt , but i pretty much was .. the first topic we addressed was the lack of time spent together .. in which i dont know too many ways to fix it because he works screwed up hours .. but i told him that when he comes home from work , id like to spend time with him .. not just sit on the couch and call that quality time , because to me .. its too routine ... we watch car stuff , and most girls agree , girls arent as into cars as men are .. therefore i pretty much can fall asleep to that .. so why bother watching it right .. and then next topic was the sex .. this is where the " i was pretty much hurt " thing comes into play .. he basically said that he didnt really want to have sex because it felt like a chore .. i was pretty surprised by his comment .. i dont consider wanting to make love a chore .. at all .. i mean even when im not totally in the mood for it , when he wants to do it , i get in the mood for it .. hard to explain but i just do .. he also said i was " bland " which to me means boring .. thats the one thing that caught me off guard and really hurt me .. since him and i have been together , ive done alot of things , that i probably NEVER would have considered doing with anyone else .. i.e. anal sex, swallowing ... so .. i mean for me .. that was completely rude .. i dont know , i had told him that i thought he wasnt interested in me , because of the way its been going sexually .. when he went down on me one time , last week .. i was playing with myself , while he was fingering me .. and he was just .. laying there .. so i just stopped ... i just couldnt bring myself to orgasm while watching him just lay there .. its like .. he didnt want to try .. i know i have a hard time orgasming , but its not like i go up stairs and say ok im going to take two hours to cum , you know .. its just something hard for me to do .. but anyways .. yes .. ive tried to talk to him , and it just i mean , it seems to click in his head , for the time being .. and then it stops clicking .. i asked him if he thought i should just go back home .. since things were going not so great .. he said he thought i should stick around , seeing how winter time means work gets slower .. but .. i dont see how that has anything to do with it .. because even on his days off , hes doing something else .. i dont know .. honestly .. he just confuses the hell out of me .. i came up here loving him , and now .. all i have is totally mixed feelings

damn, ever hear of the enter key

Geeze that is hard to read

A few questions, if you don't mind:

How long have you been living together?

Is it possible that he's depressed?

Is there any way that he can work less screwed-up hours? My experience has been that odd work hours can really mess with a relationship--and not just sexually.

From what you've told us (and I know that there are always two sides to a story) it sounds like the sexual issues are his and not yours, particularly if you're ready and willing to try different things.

Good luck.

Eilan said:

A few questions, if you don't mind:

How long have you been living together?

Is it possible that he's depressed?

Is there any way that he can work less screwed-up hours? My experience has been that odd work hours can really mess with a relationship--and not just sexually.

From what you've told us (and I know that there are always two sides to a story) it sounds like the sexual issues are his and not yours, particularly if you're ready and willing to try different things.

Good luck.

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well , i just moved here in july .. im originally from here .. i moved away two years which is why we stopped seeing each other .. i honestly dont know if hes depressed , he says stress is the problem .. stress from work .. i tell him he should be leaving work , at work .. you know .. i guess in the summer time work gets more hectic .. he works at a stadium , so there are concerts and games and stuff .. i dont think him being at work is really the problem .. i mean this might sound weird , but its good having the time apart , because otherwise i just get irritated at him .. its the time hes at home that bothers me .. on his days off , he either sleeps all day , or helps his friend with stuff .. ive yet to have a full day to spend with him .. and ive been up here almost two whole months .. i told him what u said yesterday about me being the one wanting to have sex , and wanting to do new things .. as ive already done .. im more then wililng to try things , just not everything . not everyone is into everything you know .. but for the most part , if he wants to try something , and i think its interesting then hell yeah im going to try it with him .. i dont know what the problem is , i dont know what im doing wrong , or what were both doing wrong .. i think its mianly the fact that im living up here now . our relationship was better when i was living two states away .. i just dont want to give up on the relationship , because of just sex .. i think that would be kind of stupid in a sense

oh yeah , if yall could give me some suggestions on things to try .. it would be appreciated .. forgot to add that in ..

mathis847 said:

i just dont want to give up on the relationship , because of just sex .. i think that would be kind of stupid in a sense

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Is it possible, though, that the sex issues are a symptom of the problem and not the problem itself?

Did I read that right? You are living together as a couple and he is going on vacation without you? I know your feelings are mixed right now but looking at it from the outside it is obvious to me - he doesn't love you, you are nothing more than a convenience, and many times not even that, and he is either already communicating with someone else or has someone else already that he is working on. I don't think it has anything to do with work at all. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he isn't going to be alone on his vacation? It is time to move on. This relationship has cost you too much already. Quit before it's too late because it is not going to get any better. There are more fish in the sea. Good luck.

subwannabe said:

Did I read that right? You are living together as a couple and he is going on vacation without you? I know your feelings are mixed right now but looking at it from the outside it is obvious to me - he doesn't love you, you are nothing more than a convenience, and many times not even that, and he is either already communicating with someone else or has someone else already that he is working on. I don't think it has anything to do with work at all. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he isn't going to be alone on his vacation? It is time to move on. This relationship has cost you too much already. Quit before it's too late because it is not going to get any better. There are more fish in the sea. Good luck.

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well its not that hes going on vacation alone so to say , hes going with his parents , which this was planned before i even came up here . . i have other things i have to get done , i dont have time for a vacation anyhow .. ill be working and trying to get a second job as well ... but i know what your saying , believe me , if he was going on vacation alone , yeah , that would be a suttle hint to me .. i do at time feel like a convienence .. ive told him that .. a few times actually ... maybe hes too young to understand how to work a relationship ... hes older then me but not by far .. sounds a little mean but .. i think im more mature when it comes to relationships , ive had relationships where they worked screwed up hours too , and things didnt end based on that .. they ended on lack of communication .. we never talked , which is why i like talking now .. because its a big part of making things work .. he just doenst like to talk really .. especially about his feelings .. i make him more or less though , well not make .. but i basically tell him , im telling you how i feel , id like to know the same from you ..

I'm sorry, but it seems like this type of situation is often the consequence of moving in with someone you don't really know (knowing someone from online for two years, then being apart, isn't enough by a longshot) or have a solid relationship with. That's why studies show a correlation between divorce and premarital cohabitation; not because living together is bad, but people do it too soon and for the wrong reasons (e.g. they can't afford to live alone, are in lust, not love, etc.), then have trouble getting out when things go awry, and end up getting married because of societal pressures and other poor reasons. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of living together before marriage, but it has to be for the right reasons.

And, if it's already this bad after two months and he's not champing at the bit to work on it, then how good is the prospect for a successful long-term relationship? Relationships have ups and downs, but usually the honeymoon phase is the high point early on -- if this is the high point, will you be able to bear the lows/serious problems and stressors in the future?

You're right, he sounds immature and like he's not very invested in making you happy or the relationship work (i.e. he likely doesn't truly love you or prioritize your relationship). I'd suggest letting him know how much it hurts you, and either moving out and seeing where the relationship goes, or ending it if there aren't big, consistent changes. Maybe he'll mature and change with time and space, and more relationship experience can't hurt you, either.

If the communication, love, sex, problem-solving, intimacy, attention, etc., are lacking and there's not a mutual desire/ability to change, what's the point of pursuing a dying relationship?

I know that's tough to read, but being honest about what's truly going on is a hell of a lot easier than kicking yourself for not doing so down the road.

If it doesn't work, here's the good news: You didn't waste any more energy on a bad relationship. You likely learned valuable lessons about what to look for in a mate and not jumping into something too soon. I bet there are many other positives as well. There's ALWAYS something to be gained from painful situations, even if it's just learning more about ourselves. Without failure, we'd never succeed -- in cases like this, without experiencing the wrong people, you probably won't know when you've found the right ones.

SweetErika said:

I'm sorry, but it seems like this type of situation is often the consequence of moving in with someone you don't really know (knowing someone from online for two years, then being apart, isn't enough by a longshot) or have a solid relationship with. That's why studies show a correlation between divorce and premarital cohabitation; not because living together is bad, but people do it too soon and for the wrong reasons (e.g. they can't afford to live alone, are in lust, not love, etc.), then have trouble getting out when things go awry, and end up getting married because of societal pressures and other poor reasons. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of living together before marriage, but it has to be for the right reasons.

And, if it's already this bad after two months and he's not champing at the bit to work on it, then how good is the prospect for a successful long-term relationship? Relationships have ups and downs, but usually the honeymoon phase is the high point early on -- if this is the high point, will you be able to bear the lows/serious problems and stressors in the future?

You're right, he sounds immature and like he's not very invested in making you happy or the relationship work (i.e. he likely doesn't truly love you or prioritize your relationship). I'd suggest letting him know how much it hurts you, and either moving out and seeing where the relationship goes, or ending it if there aren't big, consistent changes. Maybe he'll mature and change with time and space, and more relationship experience can't hurt you, either.

If the communication, love, sex, problem-solving, intimacy, attention, etc., are lacking and there's not a mutual desire/ability to change, what's the point of pursuing a dying relationship?

I know that's tough to read, but being honest about what's truly going on is a hell of a lot easier than kicking yourself for not doing so down the road.

If it doesn't work, here's the good news: You didn't waste any more energy on a bad relationship. You likely learned valuable lessons about what to look for in a mate and not jumping into something too soon. I bet there are many other positives as well. There's ALWAYS something to be gained from painful situations, even if it's just learning more about ourselves. Without failure, we'd never succeed -- in cases like this, without experiencing the wrong people, you probably won't know when you've found the right ones.

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i honestly totally agree with you ... he is willing to work on it , its me that has the problem .. im not sure how to go about anything really .. we do talk about the issues , its like .. for me . im not all that sexually experienced .. and he wants to try new things , he wants me to come up with some things to do .. and im at a total loss .. i have no idea what to do .. i know sex isnt everything in a relationship .. but to me its a big part .. if im not sexually satisfied then im not satisfied at all .. he makes me laugh .. i do enjoy being with him .. i do love him alot .. im not sure if im 100 percent in love with him , but i do know that its a big possibility that i will fall in love with him .. whether its sooner or later .. i want to make things work between him and i .. i dont want to give up so soon .. i feel like if i do , then its more my fault , because i didnt try .. ive already explained to him that the two issues for me are us not spending time together .. and the sex .. when we have sex , its good .. but its not great .. i want it to be great .. i want to do things for him that will blow his mind .. i just dont know how to please him .. i mean i do , but i dont .. and he does want to please me too , i think its because its so hard to please me , that makes him lose interest .. im not sure .. im confused on the whole issue .. thats why i came here , to see what other people thought of the situation .. im not totally sure what will happen , i just want to at least try .. i dont want to quit at something thats yet to evolve , you know what im saying ? im not sure if this makes any sense .. i know im young , i know hes young .. i know we rushed into things when i moved in .. he knows that .. but im here now .. and i think we need to at least try to make things work before giving up and moving on ..

mathis847 said:

i honestly totally agree with you ... he is willing to work on it , its me that has the problem .. im not sure how to go about anything really .. we do talk about the issues , its like .. for me . im not all that sexually experienced .. and he wants to try new things , he wants me to come up with some things to do .. and im at a total loss .. i have no idea what to do .. i know sex isnt everything in a relationship .. but to me its a big part .. if im not sexually satisfied then im not satisfied at all .. he makes me laugh .. i do enjoy being with him .. i do love him alot .. im not sure if im 100 percent in love with him , but i do know that its a big possibility that i will fall in love with him .. whether its sooner or later .. i want to make things work between him and i .. i dont want to give up so soon .. i feel like if i do , then its more my fault , because i didnt try .. ive already explained to him that the two issues for me are us not spending time together .. and the sex .. when we have sex , its good .. but its not great .. i want it to be great .. i want to do things for him that will blow his mind .. i just dont know how to please him .. i mean i do , but i dont .. and he does want to please me too , i think its because its so hard to please me , that makes him lose interest .. im not sure .. im confused on the whole issue .. thats why i came here , to see what other people thought of the situation .. im not totally sure what will happen , i just want to at least try .. i dont want to quit at something thats yet to evolve , you know what im saying ? im not sure if this makes any sense .. i know im young , i know hes young .. i know we rushed into things when i moved in .. he knows that .. but im here now .. and i think we need to at least try to make things work before giving up and moving on ..

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It almost comes across a if you are back peddling now and trying to take the blame on yourself to give him slack. I'm not sure that is a good sign at all. The first step you need in any of this is being honest with yourself.

Sit down, write up lists of positive and negative, look at the great and wonderful things about this man and your relationship to him. But do the same for the things that upset or depress you. Look at those and honestly compare the value you get out of the relationship and what you are putting into it.

Not to sound unduly cruel but your last post implies perhaps you are not entirely comfortable with your own body and your own pleasures. Few women are really hard to please, but it may well be you just need to take some time to figure out exactly what pleases you and then by all means share it with him. Once any caring lover is shown how to make his woman gasp, moan and cry out...he is going to be all in for helping her achieve it.

This is only offered out of a sincere for your happiness, and in very much agreement with the other posts: Take some time to think. You have so much going on right now that it might be easier for you to push this aside rather then give it the time it deserves. But you can not do that and be fair to him or you. So sit down, have a cup of tea or a bubble bath, shut out the rest of the world and just ask yourself are you happy? Can you be happy in this relationship as things are? What would need to change to make you happy? Is that change something likely to happen or not? Is that change something you/your partner are capable of?

All my best wishes to you sweety, I hope everything works out the best it can.

I agree with Lil, you have to sit yourself down alone and think, do you want to stay with him, do you enjoy your time with him when you get it and so forth. Seriously, the only way to get a relationship to work is you both want to fix it and you both want to stay. Once you figure out if you do want to stay, sit him down and discuss it, I'm not talking the sex problems and the not spending time together. Sit him down and ask if he wants to stay with you and if he wants to work out your problems.

Thinking of things to try isn't that hard, read the stories on literotica. whichever get you the hottest that you haven't done yet, bring it up with him, show him the story or stories. If you find alot of different things, try them each out seperately.

I know it sounds like it will take forever, but really it won't, your not looking for a well written story, your looking for stories featuring things you think would be fun.

For example, I enjoy outdoors semi public sex, and I like the idea of people watching. Not really done that as of yet, I'm a tad to shy for that one, though I am sure one of these days he will take me in front of people.

You may have different fetshes, heck you probably do, but the only way your going to find out is to research, either by doing the different kinds of sex or reading about it and seeing how you feel with the idea. Of course the biggest thing to remember, be very sure if you want to threesomes or moresomes, they sound incredible but the actual act can be very hard or killing on your relationship.

Now as someone who has been there a few times, make sure you have lube handy if you don't get dripping as a matter of course and don't plan on sex the next couple days, my first group sex I didn't for 2 weeks almost after, the second was 4 days and I wasn't exactly ready for it then, one of the guys in the second was thick, stretched me alot and took a while to recover.

you guys are right .. i will sit down and think .. now i have the time for it too , he left this afternoon for europe so i should have no interuptions what so ever .. as for trying things . i am traditional , i like the things ive done and im not completely open to trying a whole lot of new things . i wasnt even when i did the anal and swallowing for him .. when i did the anal , i just did it because i wanted him totally pleased .. i knew he wanted to try it with me , and i wanted to make him happy .. and it wasnt really all that bad either .. its hurt a few times but he goes slow until we get the right position/rythem .. swallowing , i think my taste buds still have to get used to it .. its not something i do all the time .. i do it when he trys to pull away , he does this because he knows im not totally into it .. but i do it because i care for him and i know he loves seeing it .. we tried reverse cowgirl last night .. didnt work out like i had planned .. he said it felt like his dick was going to break off , maybe i was doing it wrong , i dont know .. it was the first time for both of us .. i like the thought of semi-public sex as well .. weve kind of gotten around to that .. we were on the beach when he went down on me , and had sex in his car on the beach , nearly got caught might i add but i talked to a close friend of mine , and pretty much told her everything that was on my mind .. sexually physically , and emotionally .. shes given me alot of ideas on what to do , how to express myself etc .. thank you guys for listening .. the main reason i come here is because its hard to talk to people i know about this sort of stuff , they judge me and look at me differently .. thank you guys .. your the best .. ill deffinitely take my bath tonight and sit in my room and write some things out .. good advice there

It sounds like you did reverse cowgirl right, it's supposed to stretch him toward his feet, but not for everybody.

Now as for semi public sex, oh my there is much you can do there besides the beach, there is the park late at night, of course there is the forest, though unless you like half freezing not during a snowstorm with no tent.

There is also on a balcony, at a hotel or someones apartment. I've not managed that one yet but trusting him to lean me over that railing and have his way with me sounds pretty darn good to me.

Now if you want more public, there is the old standby at a club, unlike the stories, there is no way to not have people notice what you two are doing unless the lights are off and stay off until your done. Also have the bathrooms, sneak one of you into the bathrooms and find an empty stall to make not empty, or you can not sneak one of you in and just walk in and go right to a stall. Would definitely get people to climb up and watch.

Now as for the taste, it's really an acquired taste for cum, though you can talk to him about it and I am sure he would take measures to get sweeter cum. Biggest things are less junk food, soda, alchohol and not smoking. Pineapple juice also helps alot, now some will say put him on fish and vegetarian because the salty taste is from meats, though personally I like that. There is a thread on how to get cum to taste better though I forget where it is.

I am sure sweeterika has a link to it up her sleeve, so ask her or she likely will swoop in and provide you a couple of them.

On the topic of public sex there is a tried an true method so long as he is capable of paying attention to multiple things at once.

I have yet to have a man turn down a hand job or oral while on a long car trip. Night time eases some of the getting caught fright but still it doesn't get much more public then a freeway or highway. Again he MUST be capable of driving safely, the hand job test usually is a good way to tell if he can or not. Maybe burn a CD of your favorite sexual music, or load your MP3 player if you can and crank that up while you drive. Wear lingerie or go au natural under a long coat and speak to him sexually while you stroke him.

Since it is nearly universal that men love their ego stroked as much as their manhood include complements and erotic ideas in your talk with him. Once you've determined he can or can't drive safe while you do the other driving, then move on to the next step.

If he is good with taking the wheel while you go down then do so, nothing too shocking or new is necessary at this point. Now is not the time to get experimental, the newness of the act as is should be novelty enough! Many cars end up in ditches do to a momentary flair of creativity. If you want to, by all means swallow at the end, if not simply be prepared. Have a damp wash cloth in a ziplock baggy! Spit and clean up in 1 easy step!

If he can not drive safely with that sort of intense stimulation, ask him if he would like you to perform. If it is something that you both enjoy you could open the aforementioned coat, prop your feet on the dash and pull out a toy or your hands and get to work on yourself. Again remembering to cater to his ego will help ALOT.

Personally both options have worked wonders in situations for me, and the naughty thrill of stopping afterward to go in and have a quick bite of dinner made the whole thing just that much naughtier. I'd say give these a try if you and your man are comfortable with the ideas.


On the issue of his flavor, sadly pizza and beer are negative and bitter things to eat. So many mens favorites are not helping. However adding Cinnamon, Pineapple and fresh cream to the diet does help to lighten the flavor. Zinc also changes the flavor mildly but it increases the amount if he is into large amounts.

Hope this offers some help/ideas. Sounds like you are really going to do right by you both with taking the time to think. It might not mena much but that makes me proud of you hun.

A lot of very good ideas. I think the sex part is ONE of the reasons he has been cool to you but I'm a little confused. You say you like GREAT sex but are more traditional and not used to coming up with new ideas. Forget about him altogether for the moment, What do you consider GREAT sex? Also, maybe you are not aware but a common mistake many women make is that they often think they can work things out or change their man in some way, and if they can't, they feel as if they have "failed". This is not reality. Life doesn't usually work that way. As someone else has already said, usually the best part of relationships is in the very beginning and then go down hill later - at which time you may have to work on the relationship. Working on a relationship is a two way street and it sounds to me like, other than sex, your chosen one doesn't really seem interested in working on it. It takes two to tango. If he isn't willing to meet you half way, you can't do this all by yourself. It will NEVER work. I'm also confused because you are obviously unhappy about the current status of your relationship and yet you feel that you will be falling "in love" with him soon. I think this is where you need to sit in your tub and reflect on what it is about this guy that you feel you will soon be in love and yet have this kind of relationship now. I very strongly admire you for venturing into sexual areas you probably wouldn't have before, trying to please him and make it work. That says a lot for you but it is still my opinion that you are trying to do all the work on working on the relationship and he is doing nothing other than accepting your newfound sexuality. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I believe in love at first sight and that when you find the right person you will know and things will just click in the beginning without having to work on it. I think if you have to work on it so much now that the relationship is doomed in the long run. There is more than one fish in the pond and you're losing valuable time trying to fix something that can't be fixed. Oh, I do have an idea too. When I met my current mate we had a long distance relationship and enjoyed phone sex. Can you call him in Europe and have some fun? I bet he would enjoy that.

subwannabe said:

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I believe in love at first sight and that when you find the right person you will know and things will just click in the beginning without having to work on it. I think if you have to work on it so much now that the relationship is doomed in the long run.

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Lust at first sight, maybe, but love develops over time, with shared experiences (including working through problems TOGETHER -- one-sided bandaids don't count) and knowing each other intimately.

It's a shame more people don't wait to see if they get there before they make big decisions like having a kid, living together, or getting married. If they did, we wouldn't have so many divorces and fucked up kids/families.

I agree with you on everything else though, Sub (but maybe you could break it up into manageable paragraphs in the future ).

A relationship is specifically for sex. Just like a restaurant is specifically for food. If the only place you eat takes food off the menu, it's not a good place. Break it off or open your relationship. See and eat other people.

BloodFluke said:

A relationship is specifically for sex. Just like a restaurant is specifically for food. If the only place you eat takes food off the menu, it's not a good place. Break it off or open your relationship. See and eat other people.

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Is that right?

I'd really like to hear the logic behind that choice theory.

SweetErika said:

Is that right?

I'd really like to hear the logic behind that choice theory.

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Starvation = bad.

BloodFluke said:

Starvation = bad.

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No, the "a relationship is specifically for sex" assertion.