What is a typical day like?

What is a typical day like? Need Doms input

What is a typical day like for a Dom and his Sub? Going out, having people over the house, what if you have children, etc.

Interested in hearing how others fit this lifestyle into their daily lives.

Edited to add I am interested in hearing from both sides, Thanks.

I'm warning you, a typical day is very typical and boring.

K gets up at 6, and I get up shortly afterward to make his lunch. I give him a kiss and go back to bed. The kids get up at 9ish, and so do I. I call him to say good morning, then make the kids breakfast and get my net fix. I spend the day taking care of kids, cleaning house, and running errands. He gets home about 4ish. I either head off to do some house cleaning, or I stay home and start dinner. If I'm gone he starts dinner, he's a great cook. Either way I'm home by 8:30 when I start getting kids ready for bed. They are in bed by 9ish, and asleep by 10ish. If we have the energy we have sex, if not he goes to bed and I get online. I go to bed at 12.

did you see this thread over in the BDSM Talk forum? It might answer some of what you're looking for.

My personal daily life would be very boring to you since my PYL lives in another city

Chicklet said:

did you see this thread over in the BDSM Talk forum? It might answer some of what you're looking for.

My personal daily life would be very boring to you since my PYL lives in another city

Click to expand...

same problem, larger distance *giggles*

ment to say, love your av sweets.

It appears to be Old Home Month (older posters delurking) so here I am!

I've lived with my Sir for 4 years, and we got married last summer. A typical day in our house is kind of like this.

He gets up before me. Neither one of us is a morning person, but he's more morningy than me. He wakes the lizards up (putting on their lights and checking the misters and such.) I get up and come to him first to say good morning. He's usually on the computer going over his work stuff when I get up. I say good morning and go to make coffee. He generally doesn't drink it, but I make sure to offer so that he can have the pot first. He prefers a much stronger blend than I do when He drinks coffee. I also check to see if He wants breakfast. Usually He's not awake enough yet. I goof around on my puter a bit, and then go to make breakfast. Again, I ask Him first if He wants breakfast and make whatever he wants. If I've slept really late, He's usually eating breakfast when I'm making coffee.

After breakfast, He hits the shower and gets ready for work. Occasionally, I ask if I can go first, but usually He does. While He's in there, I go get his work clothes ready for Him. He doesn't require this service, I just do it. I get my own stuff together at the same time. I get into the shower when He's done. He's usually heading out the door by the time I'm dressed and ready to go. I check my work website and email, and print off my store reports that I need for the day, and then I go to work. If I'm not working that day, I start doing housework after He goes, so I'm not creating a lot of background noise and stuff.

I tend to beat him home, usually, so I stop by the store for whatever we need for dinner on the way home. If He's home already, he'll be doing his store reports on his computer and playing on the Internet. If He's not, I scan and upload my store reports (we both work as merchandisers, but for different companies. ) and then play for a bit. I start dinner around the same time every evening.

When dinner's ready, I come get Him and He goes first. He gets what he wants dinner wise and I get him what He wants to drink. I get my dinner, and then wait for him to start eating before I do. After dinner, He takes control of the remote and tends to channel surf while playing on His computer. I clean up the kitchen, do whatever chores are needed and then finish work stuff if necessary. If it's not too late at night, we go for a walk or something. Other than that, I get to goof around on the puter or play with Chomper (one of the lizards. Stripey is too nervy to play with a lot.)

When we have guests of the kinked variety, I wait on my Master first, and then make our guests comfortable. Presumably, He's already taken care of when they arrive. Non-kinky guests are rare around here. We usually see my sister's family at her house, since it's bigger and she has a pool. We have the snowy one over a lot, since she lives in the other half of our duplex. If she's over for dinner, she tends to hang in the kitchen with me and help me out. But when it's eating time, she's a guest (even though she's a subbly one) so she helps herself after D does. Dom/mly guests tend to go at the same time my Sir does.

When we have non kinky guests, which is rare, the same sort of protocols apply, but not as overtly.

When we go out for non-kinky functions, I usually drive. I'm also the door opener, munchie purchaser (like at the movies) or bag carrier. It doesn't all fall on me. He carries stuff as necessary, but if there's one or two bags, I've got them. Some stores (like book stores) I'm free to wander at will, but I check in with Him at intervals. Other stores, I stick to his left hand side, slightly back from him. If He was a lefty rather than a righty, I'd stick to his right hand side, slightly back.

I probably do more of the household chores, but He does a lot too. We both do the cleaning stuff, but I probably do more, since I'm responsible for dinner, dishes and laundry. He does the car stuff. The outside stuff is fairly well split.

I hope that answers some of your questions.

Thanks to those who have answered so far.

Thanks Mari-Rose, very interesting. That was exactly what I was looking for in an answer. Very Descriptive

On weekdays, the alarm goes off at Seven a.m. sharp, I get up and go to the kitchen to make coffee for him (I can't stand the stuff). He's usually in the bathroom shaving and the like for work so I put the cup on the computer desk, turn on the monitor and then curl back under the covers to keep warm. If he wants breakfast, I'll cook for him, but he usually isn't hungry in the morning.

He comes home at noon for lunch. I usually start cooking about 11:50 a.m. so that it'll be done/nearly done when he gets home. I'll serve him lunch and sit by him while we watch TV together, usually cuddled up, and then he goes back to work. Every time he's out the door I'm there to kiss him, tell him I love him, and lock the door behind him. I answer phone calls and make appointments for him during the day, keeping track of business contacts and the like, since I'm his Secretary, and his 'business phone' is actually at our own apartment.

He gets home at around 5:15. I have a beer in a chilled glass mug ready for him, and a plan for dinner. I'll take his shoes and put them in the closet, take his work shirt and either put it in the hamper to be washed or hang it up in the closet. I'll leave him alone for about an hour so he can have his 'cave' time, getting him whatever he needs from the kitchen or the rest of the house as requested. Around 7 p.m. I make dinner, serve him and then eat myself, load the dishwasher, take a shower, and get ready for bed. We generally lay in bed and watch TV, or play computer games together on weeknights.

We usually go to sleep between 10-11 p.m. There's a period of about half an hour before it's time to sleep where we either cuddle or have sex. On weekdays, it's usually just cuddling as work wears him out very much.

On weekends, I usually lay in bed next to him until he wakes up. There's usually no set 'plan' for the weekends but we do like to go to Tulsa and mall-hop or go to Computer/Video game retail stores and window shop or buy cool new stuff. We'll generally get Pizza for lunch on Saturdays or Sundays so that I don't have to cook all the time.

That's what we usually do!

Ok, details. I make K's coffee while I'm getting his lunch made. I shower in the evening, so that's not an issue. I don't make him breakfast cause he's not hungry when he first wakes up. We keep breakfast bars, that I put in his lunch box and he eats when he gets hungry. I also forgot to mention I call him at lunch time just to say hi, see how his day is going,a nd tell him how mines going. He gets really cranky if I forget to call him at lunch. Usually dinner's whatever he wants, unless we're on a budget - then it's whatever I can make interesting with hamburger. lol He cooks sometimes cause he likes to cook. He helps me serve the kids (their's a lot of them), and he serves himself, but I get him his water, and the salt. In the evening he gets control of the remote unless I'm wanting to play. But frankly I detest most television shows so I'm either online or folding clothes in the dining room, or reading a book, or whatever. He goes out to smoke his 'before I go to be cigarette' while I get the kids teeth brushed, jammies on, and into bed. I go out when they're in bed so he can come in and give hugs and kisses, say prayers, etc, before he goes to bed.

Our days vary occasionally but on a typical weekday the alarm goes off anywhere between 6-7.30am depending on his workday commitments. We sometimes manage to squeeze in a cuddle and kiss good morning, something even more interesting some days, then both get out of bed together. He heads for the shower while I set out his clothes for him, then go downstairs and put on his coffee and feed the begging cats. I usually switch on the computer for him and set his coffee beside it. when he arrives I ask if he wants breakfast and if so I prepare whatever he wants. I then get to have my breakfast which is only cereal, and sometimes he will ask for a second coffee before going.

It is then time for his day to begin and I make sure he has everything he needs for the day, kiss, and then see him out the door. My day then varies as sometimes I have appointments to attend with my son, sometimes F sets me tasks, sometimes I set myself tasks, but in general I clean the house, do washing, renovate at times, shopping, and make sure I have planned dinner. If I need the car for the day I drive him to work and pick him up. He comes home for lunch each day and depending on how he feels and what is on offer he either has sandwiches I make for him, or gets a cooked lunch at times, and coffee. He stays around 30-50 minutes and then is back off to work with a kiss. If I am lucky we play a little at lunch.

My afternoon is much like the morning ending in me beginning to prepare and cook dinner anywhere from 3pm onward. He arrrives home around 5 and is served coffee or a cold water or both as he sits and relaxes. I serve dinner from 6-7pm usually, serving F first and then my son, then sitting down myself. We usually chat about the day at that time and run through anything he needs to know. After dinner I clean up while he plays on the PC for awhile. He may choose to remain on it for the evenng or we may watch a little TV or a movie together. I usually shower last thing in the evening before bed which is around midnight. I have to go to bed with him every night, no sitting up if he has gone to bed. We may have play earlier in the night, or at bedtiime, or not at all..depends on what he wants. I set the alarm ready for the morning and we sleep. Usually the sleep is uninterrupted but sometimes he wants to play through the night.

We don't socialise much but it matters little if we are entertaining lifestyle or non lifestyle people as we behave the same. We are not overt about our choices, but it is there...those who know recognise it, those who don't rarely do but sometimes have. The reason it is possible to act the same in both situations is because we are not big on doing overly obvious things such as punishments, play etc., when anyone is around as we believe it is private and also do not feel it is something to expose or inflict on anyone else even if they are lifestyle themselves. If we go out together we are much the same, understated but still maintaining the dynamic which is in place at all times. Not as exciting as some would imagine, but it works for us and that is all that counts.

Catalina

Bump

Okayyy .. normal day for my Master and I?

It starts at 5 am when his alarm will go off. I am the first out of bed, jumping up to make sure he is okay (This is never expected of me, but he is really not a morning person, and often trips or stumbles .. I worry if I have not seen him off to work safely) Morning sex is not very often .. we are up so early that it just isn't do able. Morning cuddles and spooning is enough for us till he gets home) I grab his mobile off him that we use as a alarm. He will make his way to the toilet and bathroom and get himself ready. I run the mobile down to the lounge room, and turn on the heater for him to try and warm up the room.

While he is doing that I prepare his sandwiches, fruit and drinks for lunch, getting them together in his lunchbox and cooler bag. I prepare his work clothes (sometimes running an iron over the shirt if needs be) and leave them out next to the heater for him. I am kind of lucky, he doesn't eat breakfast at home .. and HATES coffee. I feed the cat, and turn on the lizards lights, (we own lizards too, like you D's mariposa )

When he finishes his shower I make sure he has everything for work, getting his keys, wallet etc. for him and get his shoes ready for him. He leaves around 5:45am with a kiss, and a cuddle at the front door.

I spend the next 2 hours cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, and watering the garden, peeling the veg for dinner, playing with the kitty, and basically getting myself ready for work. I leave for work at 8am.

I get home before him, at around 4:30pm, and start getting dinner organised, the kitty fed again (she whinges if I don't space out her little tins of food) I feed the lizards their veg and crickets, feed and check on the plants, and mix up nutrients for them if needs be. He will walk in about 45 mins after me. I go out and see him at his van (he's a delivery driver) and get his lunch bag for him. We both walk inside, I give him a kiss and a cuddle, and set him up with a cold drink, directing him towards the lounge room where he settles down and I can cook dinner undisturbed. While i get dinner cooked, he winds down from work, and showers. I quickly get some clean clothes for him to wear while he is gone, and place them next to the heater.

Dinner is served around 7 - 8pm. I take his food into him, with a glass of wine. I clean the kitchen again as he eats, and only when I am finished that will I begin my meal. When finished I take both plates out and finish the washing up. I always ensure he has started eating first, and the same goes for guests both in and out of the lifestyle. I will not sit and start until everyone in the house is set up with food and drinks. Once the kitchen is clean, I quicky shower and shave just incase he wants to play (I must be kept smooth and shaven at all times for him)

The remainder of the evening will be spent watching TV together, 'playing' or anything he wants to do. As Catalina, I generally have to go to bed when he does but now and again he will allow me to stay up if I am caught up in a book or something, but it is more a treat when I have behaved or cooked an exceptionally good dinner. The latest we will go to bed is normally around 11:30pm.

When we have guests we don't really act any differently, because there is no reason to; I am not into public humiliation and he is rather discreet about our lifestyle (which I am happy about). When I have said something out of line around non-kinky guests, he simply has to give me this 'look' and I know I am in deep shit when they leave. I wear a thin gold chain with a simple emerald pendant which is in a choker style when around company and work, and a black velvet collar when not. There has only ever been one incident when He ordered me to wear my velvet collar around friends, but they were kinky anyway so it was more to make me squirm with embarrassment.

Some people who see us who have no idea of our lifestyle tell me that I do too much for him. But my greatest pleasure comes from serving him both in everyday life and in the bedroom.

satin_coals said:

Okayyy .. normal day for my Master and I?

It starts at 5 am when his alarm will go off. I am the first out of bed, jumping up to make sure he is okay (This is never expected of me, but he is really not a morning person, and often trips or stumbles .. I worry if I have not seen him off to work safely) Morning sex is not very often .. we are up so early that it just isn't do able. Morning cuddles and spooning is enough for us till he gets home) I grab his mobile off him that we use as a alarm. He will make his way to the toilet and bathroom and get himself ready. I run the mobile down to the lounge room, and turn on the heater for him to try and warm up the room.

While he is doing that I prepare his sandwiches, fruit and drinks for lunch, getting them together in his lunchbox and cooler bag. I prepare his work clothes (sometimes running an iron over the shirt if needs be) and leave them out next to the heater for him. I am kind of lucky, he doesn't eat breakfast at home .. and HATES coffee. I feed the cat, and turn on the lizards lights, (we own lizards too, like you D's mariposa )

When he finishes his shower I make sure he has everything for work, getting his keys, wallet etc. for him and get his shoes ready for him. He leaves around 5:45am with a kiss, and a cuddle at the front door.

I spend the next 2 hours cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, and watering the garden, peeling the veg for dinner, playing with the kitty, and basically getting myself ready for work. I leave for work at 8am.

I get home before him, at around 4:30pm, and start getting dinner organised, the kitty fed again (she whinges if I don't space out her little tins of food) I feed the lizards their veg and crickets, feed and check on the plants, and mix up nutrients for them if needs be. He will walk in about 45 mins after me. I go out and see him at his van (he's a delivery driver) and get his lunch bag for him. We both walk inside, I give him a kiss and a cuddle, and set him up with a cold drink, directing him towards the lounge room where he settles down and I can cook dinner undisturbed. While i get dinner cooked, he winds down from work, and showers. I quickly get some clean clothes for him to wear while he is gone, and place them next to the heater.

Dinner is served around 7 - 8pm. I take his food into him, with a glass of wine. I clean the kitchen again as he eats, and only when I am finished that will I begin my meal. When finished I take both plates out and finish the washing up. I always ensure he has started eating first, and the same goes for guests both in and out of the lifestyle. I will not sit and start until everyone in the house is set up with food and drinks. Once the kitchen is clean, I quicky shower and shave just incase he wants to play (I must be kept smooth and shaven at all times for him)

The remainder of the evening will be spent watching TV together, 'playing' or anything he wants to do. As Catalina, I generally have to go to bed when he does but now and again he will allow me to stay up if I am caught up in a book or something, but it is more a treat when I have behaved or cooked an exceptionally good dinner. The latest we will go to bed is normally around 11:30pm.

When we have guests we don't really act any differently, because there is no reason to; I am not into public humiliation and he is rather discreet about our lifestyle (which I am happy about). When I have said something out of line around non-kinky guests, he simply has to give me this 'look' and I know I am in deep shit when they leave. I wear a thin gold chain with a simple emerald pendant which is in a choker style when around company and work, and a black velvet collar when not. There has only ever been one incident when He ordered me to wear my velvet collar around friends, but they were kinky anyway so it was more to make me squirm with embarrassment.

Some people who see us who have no idea of our lifestyle tell me that I do too much for him. But my greatest pleasure comes from serving him both in everyday life and in the bedroom.

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wow, that sounds pretty good there, especially the part where you must be kept smooth and shaven. so is this a hard life style to get into? does it take some time to get used to it?

hotniraq said:

wow, that sounds pretty good there, especially the part where you must be kept smooth and shaven. so is this a hard life style to get into? does it take some time to get used to it?

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Is it a hard lifestyle to get into? For me; not at all. It is who I have always been. When I think back to being as young as 5 years old, I remember dreams that when I think about now, are so obviously related to who I am today. I have never fought who I am .. I am proud of who and what I am.

I met my partner through a mutual friend 5 years ago. About a year into our relationship, I had submitted myself to him, and he presented me with a collar.

It did not really take that much getting used to. I did not see myself giving anything up for it (except of course, control) he still allows me to see friends, family etc. It was easy for me because it is who I am, and what I want. I am simply owned now. I answer to him, and I serve him. I love him, obey him, and respect him. And he looks after me, cares for me, and loves me in return.

What would be hard now would be getting used to a life without him.

Master has to have His insulin around the same time each morning, so on dialysis days (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday mornings) the alarm goes off at 6.30, other days it's 7am. I test His blood sugar, give Him 20 units of insulin and if it's a dialysis day it's a quick cuddle and kiss and then out of bed. If not we usually snuggle back down for a while I make His breakfast and set out His meds, then sit down with a coffee and 3 crackers just to start my metabolism.

Out the door around 7.30, a few minutes drive to the hospital and up to the 4th floor where I start setting up the machine. I take His blood pressure, temperature and pulse, He weighs Himself and I write it all in His notes. After He is on the machine I will sit with Him for a while and then go home, or sometimes I get the grocery shopping out of the way. I get on the computer or watch TV, or if we've had a bad night I will go back to bed. I usually eat again about 10am.

Master is on the machine for 4 1/2 hours so I usually leave for the hospital about 20 minutes before He is due to come off. He is always glad to see me - He has a hard time with back pain but refuses meds. The nurse will disconnect Him from the machine but we will hold a spot each (where the needles go in His arm) for 10 minutes until they stop bleeding. Then I tape them with gauze/tape, the blood pressure etc is done again and then we go home to rest - He is usually very tired afterwards. Lunch when we get home, again He is served first and more meds doled out.

Afternoons He sometimes has a nap, other times He is on the computer. I will watch TV/video or read. Blood sugar is checked regularly and more insulin given if needed. Dinner is usually about 7pm, I ask what He would like but sometimes He will just tell me to cook something and He will eat it Supper at 10.30 with yet more pills, I swear He rattles!

Much the same on other days, except we don't get up as early and sometimes have time to play before breakfast. Because I do not work outside the home we can play whenever we feel like it Summer Saturday afternoons/evenings are taken up with Master's beloved speedway, He is on the fire/crash crew and we usually leave at about 3.30pm and don't get home until around midnight.

I have a woman come in for 2 hours a week to do the heavy cleaning. Oh yes I know I am spoilt but Master would rather have a well rested sub and housework is a hard limit for me I don't mind cooking or laundry or dishes but vacuming and mopping yuk. Plus we have to be particular about cleanliness cos Master's immune system is compromised because of His illness. We would rather spend our time together doing things we enjoy

Thank you for all the replies.

Any Doms out there care to share their experiances? What do you expect of your sub? Do you have a list of rules or a contract? What sorts of punishment do you use?

Thank you in advance

Why would punishments be neccessary? If I remember correctly, there was some discussion of punishments in the 24/7 stereotypes thread over on the talk side. But from what I've seen (living next door to mari-rose and D) it's not a big issue.

snowy ciara said:

Why would punishments be neccessary? If I remember correctly, there was some discussion of punishments in the 24/7 stereotypes thread over on the talk side. But from what I've seen (living next door to mari-rose and D) it's not a big issue.

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(generally speaking- not meaning any disrespect towards the OP)

I suspect there is an assumption amongst a lot of people, that BDSM involves a lot of rules/punishments for breaking said rules/etc, so punishment would be assumed to be a signifigant part of a relationship, maybe?

I also suspect the dividing lines between punishment / discipline / kinky masochistic pleasure, come across as rather blurry and confusing to many who haven't been around people who experience BDSM as a part of their daily life.

CutieMouse said:

(generally speaking- not meaning any disrespect towards the OP)

I suspect there is an assumption amongst a lot of people, that BDSM involves a lot of rules/punishments for breaking said rules/etc, so punishment would be assumed to be a signifigant part of a relationship, maybe?

I also suspect the dividing lines between punishment / discipline / kinky masochistic pleasure, come across as rather blurry and confusing to many who haven't been around people who experience BDSM as a part of their daily life.

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I ask as I am curious. These are parts of the life I am interested in exploreing and am asking those out their for their routines, etc.

I don't think of punishment as a daily thing but if it does happen what would it be. Maybe I should have phrased it that way.

Butterflybaby04 said:

I ask as I am curious. These are parts of the life I am interested in exploreing and am asking those out their for their routines, etc.

I don't think of punishment as a daily thing but if it does happen what would it be. Maybe I should have phrased it that way.

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That makes more sense.

My experience is from a LDR, only, but I can tell you we both worked very hard to avoided issues that would cause a need for punishment. Were there moments that inspired discipline, to correct a behaviour? Occasionally, yes. But I can't think of an instance that involved punishment.

CutieMouse said:

That makes more sense.

My experience is from a LDR, only, but I can tell you we both worked very hard to avoided issues that would cause a need for punishment. Were there moments that inspired discipline, to correct a behaviour? Occasionally, yes. But I can't think of an instance that involved punishment.

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What is LDR?

Butterflybaby04 said:

I ask as I am curious. These are parts of the life I am interested in exploreing and am asking those out their for their routines, etc.

I don't think of punishment as a daily thing but if it does happen what would it be. Maybe I should have phrased it that way.

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For us punishment happens rarely, but it does happen because I am not perfect, just human. Good intentions can go so far, but unless someone is perfect (which IMO is impossible), in a 24/7 situation at some time they will do something warranting a punishment. If the Dominant ignores it, it can raise a range of negative emotions depending on the people, including feelings of not being loved, not caring, not being important enough for them to bother punishing. As to forms of punishment, they vary according to those involved and what will work.

Catalina

Butterflybaby04 said:

What is LDR?

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A Long Distance Relationship.

We were very much a part of each other's days, from beginning to end, spoke by phone/via email multiple times daily, had our routines, etc, but I'm not sure that it counts as a 24/7 relationship, as thing never quite worked out over the course of the year or so, for us to move to a face to face/flying back and forth across country to spend time together, relationship.

Thank you ladies. You have been very helpfull.

Butterflybaby04 said:

I ask as I am curious. These are parts of the life I am interested in exploreing and am asking those out their for their routines, etc.

I don't think of punishment as a daily thing but if it does happen what would it be. Maybe I should have phrased it that way.

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That makes a lot more sense now. Thanks.

I receive discipline when I forget my place and my thoughts stray. Sometimes I just get shitty and a little short tempered. I forget who I am and who he is.

Things such as limiting my free time by making me do chores, taking away my hobbies for a short period of time (such as a book, or a drawing I was working on) 'alone' time in the laundry for a period of time (this is the worst for me, sometimes I can be there for up to 2 or so hours just waiting .. and thinking about what I have done .. I end up feeling very sorry for myself and desperate to make it up to him) and various mental games. These all help me to find my place again.

Punishments are rare, but happen when I misbehave. If I talk back, do not do something he has asked, if I am rude, or disrespectful. Punishment often comes in the form of a flogging .. it is quick, but hurts .. and is delivered straight away. Afterwards he normally holds me while I calm down and stop shaking and explains to me why it had to happen, and what I can do to aviod it in the future. My punishments are *never* drawn out for longer than needed.