Why anal sex?

Ok, I'm going to either offend, piss off, or get a whole group of you upset. Not wanting to do that please open your mind for a minute or so because I'm confused.

I can't figure out what the big deal about anal sex is...
I've tried it with my wife and the only person having an orgasm is me, it's not as great as vaginal insertion, and she really doesn't get off on it. So, my question is to all of you:

Is anal sex pleasureable? Or is it just another hole to fuck and cum in for the man?

I hate going to the proctologist! I can't imagine that people (men and women included) enjoy this type of penetration.

I'm trying to understand it that's all. I don't want to piss anyone off or get a whole group of people yelling at me. I just want to try to understand why so many people are into anal stimulation and anal sex.

Again sorry if this upsets you,

MR G

Why in the world would one do something like anal sex if it wasn't pleasurable?


Okay, maybe that's just me. I enjoy it- its a whole different kind of orgasm for me.

Vixandra said:

Why in the world would one do something like anal sex if it wasn't pleasurable?


Okay, maybe that's just me. I enjoy it- its a whole different kind of orgasm for me.

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OK I hear that it's pleasurable could you explain that... I'm trying to understand hear. I'm not being closed minded... I'm trying to understand.

When you had anal sex with your wife was that all that you were doing? Or did you include either some vaginal or clitoral stimulation as well?

When I am having anal sex wife my wife she likes to use a vibrator in her pussy at the same time, by the bucking and straining she sure does appear to be enjoying the anal workout as well as the stimulation to her vagina.

There are clusters of nerves that make up what some call the A spot, an anal equivalent to the G spot, if you gauge the thrust correctly you can stimulate this nerve bundle as she stimulates her G spot or her clitoris.

Then there are the mind games we play with ourselves and others, about what is “taboo” or “dirty,” and therefore risqué and on a higher erotic level that vanilla sex. I personally enjoy the lubing and fingering of my wife’s ass at least 90% as much as I enjoy fucking her there, with the exception of fucking, then re-fucking, then re-re-fucking her there. The ability to slip back into a well fucked, relaxed ass is a big turn on for me, as is the trust issue that she allows my width to pleasure her.

Big Turn On! (JMO).

Ezzy describes it well.

I don't think anal is for everyone. But I, for one, LOVE it.

Why do I love it?

I'm not sure I can explain. It's different than vaginal sex. It pushes different buttons, so to speak. It feels different, and I find it pleasurable. It's like the difference between green and purple grapes. Same-ish fruit, but different flavors/textures/size/shapes.

= )

Nobody has to justify their likes & dislikes here.

You just be one of the people that just doesn't enjoy it. That's okay too.

So is it safe to say the ones "opening" needs to be conditioned and relaxed?
Is it also safe to say that this is an aquired sensation that one would work up to? And is it also safe to say that one may never enjoy this type of sex regardless of their open mindedness?

I'm trying to understand and be open minded and mature about it. It's just a huge question that I'm trying to understand.

I've often heard my wife and her friends talk about how their boobs are just bags of fat that are just for mens enjoyment. ( of course my wife breast fed both our children and that is the main reason for their purpose) That there are a lot of things that they have, do, or perform for our enjoyment and really don't get anything out of. I 'm still kind of curious if anal sex is another " cum recepticle" sp? I'm trying to get a clear picture ladies and gentlemen and I appreciate the way that we are maturely discussing it.

mrguitarmn said:

So is it safe to say the ones "opening" needs to be conditioned and relaxed?

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I'm not going to speak for anyone else, but I have to be very relaxed. Fingers and/or toys, lotsa lube, the right mindset (if I didn't want to do it, there's no way I'd enjoy it), being extremely turned on and at least one orgasm beforehand help me relax.

Is it also safe to say that this is an aquired sensation that one would work up to?

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Perhaps. I think what needs to be acquired/learned is how to do it correctly/painlessly. The nerves in the anus and rectum give pleasurable sensations even the first time, if one's turned on and it's done correctly. I'm guessing the difference between people who enjoy it and those who don't is mostly the mindset.

And is it also safe to say that one may never enjoy this type of sex regardless of their open mindedness?

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Yes, but I think people who are truly open minded about it will most likely enjoy it. That doesn't mean those who don't enjoy it aren't open minded, just that they generally have some negative beliefs or experiences regarding anal sex, so they're biased.

I've often heard my wife and her friends talk about how their boobs are just bags of fat that are just for mens enjoyment. ( of course my wife breast fed both our children and that is the main reason for their purpose)

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I think that's a really sad viewpoint, and it's a shame your wife and her friends think (or even talk) that way.

I don't see my breasts, or any other part of my body, as being for the enjoyment of anyone else. They have a biological purpose, but I also see them as something that give me great pleasure, are fun to play with, nice to look at and part of what makes me feel like a woman.

That there are a lot of things that they have, do, or perform for our enjoyment and really don't get anything out of.

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Like what? Blow jobs, hand jobs, tit fucking, wearing sexy clothes, stripping?

I greatly enjoy all of those things. They give me pleasure because I get off on seeing my partner enjoy themselves. I do all of them willingly and enthusiastically because they're pleasurable for both of us. I don't HAVE to do any of them, nor do I do anything for the sole enjoyment of my partner; if I didn't get anything out of an act/behavior, I wouldn't do it at all. Acts like these are mentally and physically pleasing to me, and I feel like I get a lot out of them.

I don't know how anyone could enjoy sex or relationships if they subscribed to the theory quoted. If, for example, I thought my husband didn't get anything out of going down on me, I wouldn't enjoy it or allow him to do it. Likewise, he can't enjoy receiving if I don't enjoy giving; even if I didn't say anything to that effect, he'd pick up on my lack of arousal and genuine enthusiasm.

I 'm still kind of curious if anal sex is another " cum recepticle" sp? I'm trying to get a clear picture ladies and gentlemen and I appreciate the way that we are maturely discussing it.

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No, I don't ever feel like my ass is just another cum receptacle. With a loving partner, I never feel that way about any act/part of my body; I wouldn't have sex at all if I did. And I seriously doubt most people who engage in anal willingly feel they're just being used.

In addition to feeling great physically and being mentally stimulating, I get a lot of emotional pleasure out of anal. It's a very intimate act, and because it can be extremely painful, I have to trust my partner completely to do it in the first place. I don't engage in any kind of sex with people I don't care deeply for, and anal requires even more of an emotional connection, so I won't do it with just anyone. During and after anal, I feel an incredible, almost spiritual/soul-touching connection that I find to be extremely fulfilling. It's another way to share and bond with someone I really love.

Physical, mental and emotional pleasure, that's why I do and greatly enjoy anal.

i gotta say, i'm awfully fond of it, too, and no, it's not just another hole. it's more intense, i find.

ed

mrguitarmn said:

Ok, I'm going to either offend, piss off, or get a whole group of you upset. Not wanting to do that please open your mind for a minute or so because I'm confused.

I can't figure out what the big deal about anal sex is...
I've tried it with my wife and the only person having an orgasm is me, it's not as great as vaginal insertion, and she really doesn't get off on it. So, my question is to all of you:

Is anal sex pleasureable? Or is it just another hole to fuck and cum in for the man?

I hate going to the proctologist! I can't imagine that people (men and women included) enjoy this type of penetration.

I'm trying to understand it that's all. I don't want to piss anyone off or get a whole group of people yelling at me. I just want to try to understand why so many people are into anal stimulation and anal sex.

Again sorry if this upsets you,

MR G

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I am with you on this, I am female by the way, and there is no way, I will have anal sex with dildo or penis. It's and exit hole, if it was meant to accept penis, or other objects, it would be where the vagina is and the vagina would be in back. If it was meant to be an entrance shit would go in not come out.

Lube, foreplay hell he could use a case of lube and it would hurt, I don't even want him putting a finger up my ass, let alone his penis

Well, I was going to give my own reasons for, but Sweet Erika said it all pretty much. I enjoy anal, was the one who brought it up to my hubby to give it a try, but yes, it takes patience and love and acceptance. Now, I find it to be extremely pleasurable for me not just for him to have another place to 'stick it'. If I didn't enjoy it too, he wouldn't want to force it on me.

If both people don't enjoy any sexual act, there's no point in doing it, is there?

Neteru said:

I am with you on this, I am female by the way, and there is no way, I will have anal sex with dildo or penis. It's and exit hole, if it was meant to accept penis, or other objects, it would be where the vagina is and the vagina would be in back. If it was meant to be an entrance shit would go in not come out.

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By that line of reasoning, kissing, breast play, oral sex and most other sexual acts are out, too.

The mouth is for eating. It's not meant to have anything other than food or food delivery devices in there. If it was meant to have tongues, penises or clits in there, it wouldn't have teeth.

Nipples are for breastfeeding. They're not meant to be stimulated by the hands and mouths of adults, and breasts certainly aren't intended to be pushed together and fucked. If they were, they'd be better designed for it, and definitely in a more convenient location.

Out of curiosity, have you ever tried any type of anal play with a partner who knows what they're doing?

Since this thread is about trying to understand others' viewpoints, I'd like to learn where yours is coming from. It seems like those who are anti-anal fall into two main categories:

1) They have really tried it and didn't like it (I've always heard this associated with a "bad experience" or inexperienced partners).

2) They refuse to try it, citing it's dirty/disgusting/wrong/can't possibly be pleasureable.

Neteru said:

Lube, foreplay hell he could use a case of lube and it would hurt, I don't even want him putting a finger up my ass, let alone his penis

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If you have a caring and considerate lover, then anal is no more painful than vaginal sex, if you have a brutal lover, I wouldn't be making love to them anyway, (unless brutal love is your bag) an inexperienced lover can be cured, it just takes time and practise.

Neteru said:

It's and exit hole, ...
Lube, foreplay hell he could use a case of lube and it would hurt, I don't even want him putting a finger up my ass, let alone his penis

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I spent many many years thinking the same way (and if you think about it, isn't a vagina merely a baby exit hole?) and then I decided...why not? Why not try it? If it's too painful, icky, or just not pleasant, then we'd never do it again. The other side of the coin, though, is that if it's even a bit nice then it will probably get better with practice and experience.

So, hubby and I talked about it after I'd spent a while researching it and learning the best way to go about trying it. We discussed if this was something we both wanted to try or if it was just one of us. When the time came, we took it slow, and there was no pain at all on entry, only the wonderfully full feeling and then the amazing sex. It's not something we do all the time, but it's never been painful for me and I definitely enjoy it, as does my hubby.

If my wife and I had to choose, we'd pick vaginal sex. But the beauty is: we don't have to choose. So we get to enjoy both. But if either of us didn't enjoy it we wouldn't do it. It is really that simple.

Sometimes you're in the mood for one and sometimes the other (and sometimes both).

I agree that it is a bit of an acquired taste - maybe especially for the woman but , in my case at least, for me too. The first couple of times were enjoying the 'forbidden fruit' but after that it seemed kind of anti-climactic. However, by keeping it as an alternative from time to time the joys of anal grew on both of us and I'm happy to have it as a part of our sexual repertoire.

But really, your relationship sounds like it's got some other serious issues that need working on. Breasts as 'fat-bags'! Things she has to do for your enjoyment! WTF??? Sounds like she's got herself in with a bunch of moaners (and not in a good way). This is bad.

I don't get it either. From a male point of view, I much prefer vaginal sex or a good blowjob anyday. I think a pussy feels much better. I know I sure as hell don't want anything stuck up my ass, not even my girl's finger.

i am also a female. i have kissed and inserted my pinky finger into my gf's anus but nothing bigger. i think this has happened once or twice. we have to really turned on.
a ex boyfriend tried to penetrate me with his penis. i just wasn't comfortable with it and it hurt quite alot. but then i have "straight" friends that love anal sex. i think it depends on the person and the situation really

I really enjoy anal play, anal sex doesn't happen very often here but I also like it with other stimulations as well as the penetration. it's just a different feeling and just as enjoyable for me

Thanks for the insight.
I have tried anal sex with my wife and I suppose that we fall into the inexperienced category... or at least I do. But I just don't really find it enjoying. But I'm open to keep practicing if there is promise in it. I don't want to be labeled anti-anal because I haven't differentiated myself as such in my mind as of yet. I'm trying to relax and understand all of this. Thanks again to those of you who are providing some closer insight.

mrguitarmn said:

Thanks for the insight.
I have tried anal sex with my wife and I suppose that we fall into the inexperienced category... or at least I do. But I just don't really find it enjoying. But I'm open to keep practicing if there is promise in it. I don't want to be labeled anti-anal because I haven't differentiated myself as such in my mind as of yet. I'm trying to relax and understand all of this. Thanks again to those of you who are providing some closer insight.

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Do you believe it's for your pleasure alone, that you're using her in a sense?

Has she enjoyed any part of it?

How about reading some well-written anal stories, where it's clear both enjoy it (maybe some by female authors)?

I have dated a few girls that really got off on anal sex. The first one to introduce me to it said she liked it because it just made her feel so dominated. It was more the psycological thing of getting her ass hammered. The other girl actually had orgasms.

I like doing a girl in the ass. I think pussy feels much better so I guess its psycological on my part as well.

SweetErika said:

Do you believe it's for your pleasure alone, that you're using her in a sense?

Has she enjoyed any part of it?

How about reading some well-written anal stories, where it's clear both enjoy it (maybe some by female authors)?

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I find it very difficult to enjoy anything sexual that my partner does not enjoy as well. One of the biggest turn ons for me is when the other person is into it as I am. If she's not into it then neither am I. So in response to you, she said it was just alright so I didn't really find it all it's cracked up to be. If she really got into it I guess that I would've enjoyed it more.

One thing to mention is that it really burned when I was in her and that was a major turn off for me.

mrguitarmn said:

One thing to mention is that it really burned when I was in her and that was a major turn off for me.

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Much more lube needed?
Wife and I have never had anal, but what I've heard is there can never be enough lube when having anal sex.

mrguitarmn said:

I didn't really find it all it's cracked up to be.

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I don't know if this is intentional or not, but it's damn funny!