A Question about Strap-on's

I hope this is the correct board, but it is intended for lesbians and bi-women.

I have a question and I am a little embarrassed, not so much by the subject matter but by the fact that I actually know so little about so many things.

I am a woman who has recently entered into a relationship with a very wonderful woman, this after nearly twenty years of being in the closet so to speak. I was married and for all those years my relationships were totally hetro. My sweet love is in much the same situation. We are both eager to explore and experiment, we both enjoy playing with, and sharing our toys.

We would like to try playing with strap-on’s. The funny think is that we both were sort of old school and had a belief that the strap on was used only used in porn, because men liked to watch women fuck each other. As we have come to find that toys and gadgets can be great fun and tremendously rewarding, we would like to broaden prospective.

Our question is, do you ladies that use strap-on have any recommendations as to the type to purchase? There seem to be numerous types and styles. We would welcome any and all recommendation, on both styles, brands, and tips for use. Some I have seen don’t look like they would stay in place during vigorous use.

Can you accommodate all positions, doggie, spoons, missionary, girl on top..lol ???

Feel welcome to PM me if you would like to keep this private, or if you need some more information.

Thanks

PS
To bad they don't have a Consumer Reports for sexual items..

Well, since both of you are beginners, I suggest you get a strapon that's not very large, somethin both of u are comfortable with. remember to respect your partner's body and yourself. Oh, and have some fun while you're at it.

Have a look at the "early2bed" and "babesintoyland" websites just google them, as these girls use them and can give you advice (I used the no hands version that was half inside and half outside so you got stimulation as you gave it..I was a tramsitioninf FTM...many years ago now ! )

PredatorSmile said:

Well, since both of you are beginners, I suggest you get a strapon that's not very large, somethin both of u are comfortable with. remember to respect your partner's body and yourself. Oh, and have some fun while you're at it.

Click to expand...

Now that you brought up size. This will be primarily for vaginal penetration. We have both been married and had children, and have had experience with some nice vibs,a and jelly dildos. So size was not my primary concern, I don't think we are looking for some monster cock.. well, And here I would ask ,how do you thrust?

Stupid quest, but if the cock is too long you have to increase the length of the hip thrust to get the entire length in and out. Would this be a concern, would shorter be better? I know I like it fast and hard, once all comes together. Would it be easier for my sweetie to give short, fast hard strokes?

Very funny but all the times I have been fucked, by all sizes of cocks, I never gave this any thought.

One thing I am sure of we would both like substantial girth.

And yes we do intend to have fun… isn’t this what its all about? Sex, joy, and mind altering orgasms with the one you love?

TransJason said:

Have a look at the "early2bed" and "babesintoyland" websites just google them, as these girls use them and can give you advice (I used the no hands version that was half inside and half outside so you got stimulation as you gave it..I was a tramsitioninf FTM...many years ago now ! )

Click to expand...

I like the idea of no hands

thanks

You can get a huge variety of strap ons but the hands free is great once you get used to holding onto it and it makes you thrust naturally as it feels like its part of you...as everytime you thrust you slam it deeper inside yourself and get a good fuck that way, as you have it inside the vagina and theres a part that rubs your clit too, you can even get one that has a sace for a small vibe.

Believe me you learn fast, just go buy one and experiement, theres no other way..good luck girls !

I have tried and liked the regular strap on, the vac u lock system and it seemed to work just fine, but it was hands on. Then this past spring I spent the money and bought the Nexus, "The strapless strap-on" but I ended up getting a harness anyway because well I was so well lubricated my end would not stay in....lol during the hard thrusting. And I think thrusting, positions etc is up to the couple and the mood. I hope this has helped.

I have found (after owning several) that the 4 strap fit the best and allowed more "natural" movement (ie no hands needed) http://www.stockroom.com/strap-ons.htm What is nice is that you can change out the o rings to accomodate different sizes of dildos. With other harnesses, they tend to get weighted down by the dildo so you do have to use your hands to keep things in place. Others were flimsy elastic type which just didn't stay in place. Just my 2 cps...

~kierae

Here's the advice I gave to a friend asking a similar question:

The responses you've already gotten - Blowfish and Good Vibrations - are excellent suggestions. Another favorite of mine is Toys in Babeland (now just called Babeland). It's important to remember that you're not buying "a strap-on dildo" as such, you're actually buying a dildo and a harness to put it in. They're generally two separate products.

The harness I recommend the most is the Texas 2-Strap (my wife and I each have one so we don't have to take time readjusting the straps!) and the Terra Firma (also available in nylon) is a close second. These are often hard to manipulate if the wearer is pretty large, though, so I usually mention the Crown Harness as well because it's designed for bigger bodies. All of these have straps that go around each leg, which I prefer because they're more secure. If you want one that's just got one strap (thong-style) go with the Thriller G. By the way, I don't like synthetic (nylon) fabrics for harnesses. Backpack straps are also made out of nylon, and that's what these sound like...the one time I used a synthetic harness, I couldn't stop laughing because it sounded like a backpack bouncing along. If you're vegan, though, definitely get nylon.

Dildos are hard to recommend because everybody wants something different...and so there are hundreds (if not thousands) of styles. Look through babeland.com, goodvibes.com, and blowfish.com for something you like. If you want a double dildo, I can't recommend the Nexus (and its smaller cousin, Nexus Jr.) enough: they are designed to feel good for the person wearing the harness, too (most boomerang-style doubles just feel like they're going to fall out). Just make sure that if you get a double, you get a harness that has the hole all the way through. I also recommend silicone over other materials: it's safer, easier to clean, lasts longer, holds heat...there are a lot of reasons to use silicone dildos! (Price, unfortunately, is not one of them, but they're worth the extra expense.)

So take a look around and pick out something you like. If all else fails, get a "kit" - the Bend Over Beginner set comes with everything you need.

Hope that helps!

My favorite harness so far - It's comfortable and adjustable, and the o-ring stretches to fit quite a variety of dildos of choice. At first I was worried it wouldn't hold securely, but once you're wearing it, it's fine. In fact, I rather like that it isn't totally rigid, as it relieves worries about thrusting in a wrong direction... which made more sense before I typed it out. Also cool? Machine Washable! Those words are magic!

The o-ring is also interchangable, so if you need a bigger or smaller one, go for it. Or... if you, uh... wear out the first one.

(My review on the site: )

*cough* However! In retrospect, it leaves the wearer's area open, which opens up a world of opportunities. So to speak. Or type.

As for the thrusting? Don't worry about it, honestly. After the first time, at least, it comes a lot more naturally. Just remind your partner to keep talking to you during the experience so she can direct you. One drawback to the strap-on instead fingers (or penis, if you're a guy) is that you can't feel what your partner feels, which increases the margin for error, if you will. Please don't let this hold you back, though. Just keep talking. Communication is as key in sex as it is in a relationship.


I do have a last, quick tip. At first, and especially with a new toy, it might be best to let the receiver be on top, at least until she's used to the feel of the toy. Plus, it will let her take things at her own pace until she's ready to hand over the reins.

Have fun! This remains my favorite toy of all time, both on the giving and the receiving ends.


-dizzy

I saw pornstar Menage Trois use a strapon on Sam Shaft in a recent DVD. I must say that it was rather hot, right after he fucked her in the ass with that thick cock of his. I am with a man now but I'd be willing to try something like this...someday. Maybe.

apple_pi said:

I hope this is the correct board, but it is intended for lesbians and bi-women.

I have a question and I am a little embarrassed, not so much by the subject matter but by the fact that I actually know so little about so many things.

I am a woman who has recently entered into a relationship with a very wonderful woman, this after nearly twenty years of being in the closet so to speak. I was married and for all those years my relationships were totally hetro. My sweet love is in much the same situation. We are both eager to explore and experiment, we both enjoy playing with, and sharing our toys.

We would like to try playing with strap-on’s. The funny think is that we both were sort of old school and had a belief that the strap on was used only used in porn, because men liked to watch women fuck each other. As we have come to find that toys and gadgets can be great fun and tremendously rewarding, we would like to broaden prospective.

Our question is, do you ladies that use strap-on have any recommendations as to the type to purchase? There seem to be numerous types and styles. We would welcome any and all recommendation, on both styles, brands, and tips for use. Some I have seen don’t look like they would stay in place during vigorous use.

Can you accommodate all positions, doggie, spoons, missionary, girl on top..lol ???

Feel welcome to PM me if you would like to keep this private, or if you need some more information.

Thanks

PS
To bad they don't have a Consumer Reports for sexual items..

Click to expand...

Apple !!!!

I see I do have a nice suprise in store for me

Thank you for going to all this trouble
And thank all of you who posted.
I wonder just what she decided on? My oh my, I can't wait to find out.

Just to fill you all in, Apple is my sweet honey, and we have talked, and wondered about this "toy". Now I find my sweetie has gone to the next level.

Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?

kaboom3d said:

Apple !!!!

I see I do have a nice suprise in store for me

Thank you for going to all this trouble
And thank all of you who posted.
I wonder just what she decided on? My oh my, I can't wait to find out.

Just to fill you all in, Apple is my sweet honey, and we have talked, and wondered about this "toy". Now I find my sweetie has gone to the next level.

Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?

Click to expand...

Totally.

kaboom3d said:

Apple !!!!

I see I do have a nice suprise in store for me

Thank you for going to all this trouble
And thank all of you who posted.
I wonder just what she decided on? My oh my, I can't wait to find out.

Just to fill you all in, Apple is my sweet honey, and we have talked, and wondered about this "toy". Now I find my sweetie has gone to the next level.

Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?

Click to expand...

Sounds like you have a partner that is willing to go the extra to find out what you like and to make you have so she is a keeper I say! for you both!

symbolicflame said:

Sounds like you have a partner that is willing to go the extra to find out what you like and to make you have so she is a keeper I say! for you both!

Click to expand...

Absolutely. I can't wait to find out if they like it.

Strapons are excellent. I once used one on my girlfriend. Now, my husband loves it. It's good for both sexes if they can just admit it, relax and take it deep.

strap on tips

just goggle ( my pleasure) it a sex toy site an it like a consumers report too. it has tips an articles on all of sex activies

Bisexualadventist said:

Strapons are excellent. I once used one on my girlfriend. Now, my husband loves it. It's good for both sexes if they can just admit it, relax and take it deep.

Click to expand...

I totally agree with you. When both partners are open and enjoy trying new things...strap-ons are so much fun...excellent for roleplay, role reversal and so much more. I enjoy it...oh, oh, oh so much!

Another site with reviews: Girl Tools - they also have video of the reviewers trying out the products.

Here's the one that an old GF used to love to use on me.

http://www.whet.co.za/store/images/products/Feeldoe%20purple%20350.JPG
http://www.feeldoe.com/

It’s a strapless strap-on designed to give skin-on-skin contact without breaking continuity of action to adjust straps and buckles.

kaboom3d said:

Apple !!!!

I see I do have a nice suprise in store for me

Thank you for going to all this trouble
And thank all of you who posted.
I wonder just what she decided on? My oh my, I can't wait to find out.

Just to fill you all in, Apple is my sweet honey, and we have talked, and wondered about this "toy". Now I find my sweetie has gone to the next level.

Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?

Click to expand...

Oh Sally..
I'm the lucky one. Lucky to have someone to share my love with.
Lucky to fine such nice people to share their advice and knowledge.

Now I'm camped on my front porch waiting on the FedEx man...
maybe it'll be a lady and we could try out the package... lol

Just kidding
I wouldn't seduce the delivery lady unless you were there with me... you know, a team effort..lol
There's not a soul around that could resist your charms..

apple_pi said:

Oh Sally..
I'm the lucky one. Lucky to have someone to share my love with.
Lucky to fine such nice people to share their advice and knowledge.

Now I'm camped on my front porch waiting on the FedEx man...
maybe it'll be a lady and we could try out the package... lol

Just kidding
I wouldn't seduce the delivery lady unless you were there with me... you know, a team effort..lol
There's not a soul around that could resist your charms..

Click to expand...

So have you tried it out yet?

Oh yesssss
The package came Wed. I have a PO at my local PO etc. So* I have all my deliveries sent there. It helps, no leaving packages on the porch, and the getting the "we left it" routine. I buy, probably way too much stuff on line, and believe it or not, not all of it is naughty **I was addicted to Ebay for a while and got all kinds of stuff I did not need, but what a deal. When I do purchase a toy or a naughty DVD, it is nice not to worry about the kids asking "what in the box, mom?"

Back to the subject at hand. I received such nice advice, and I do tend to go over board, I purchased two harnesses, I figured, "what the hell, go for it". My rational is that I'll give one to my Sally. We don't live together, so this will help with the wondering "what should I pack?"* I like the fact that it looks like lingerie. My Sweetie is into dress up. Not that I am not, it is just that Sally really enjoys it. So,*I get a real kick ot of it because Sally loves it so. I already purchased a number of different, very sexy stockings to go with the outfit. I also ordered a couple of dildos to use whith this harness. I was unsure about size, and I didn't want to be using this and be thinking, "I wish we had a largeer/smaller size".. and it seems one can always find a use for dildo, I mean can a girl have too many?* lol

OK, so I get the package, and I am nervous, well excited, can't wait to get it home.* It will be about dinner time when get to the house, so the package will have to wait a while longer. As I come in, my son asks "whats in the box?"...
"bedding I ordered, sheets and pillow cases".* This satifies him, like he has any interest in sheets!!!

After diner, door locked, my time... Oh gosh, I tingle all over. I do carefully cut open the package. Undo the packing material, an lay out the contents on he bed. her is what ithe wonderful people at Blowfish sent, One Corset Harness, with* extra* set of various size O rings, Garter Straps " a nice touch" I like that, cute and sexy. The Texas 2-Strap Harness, two silicon dildos, one smaller one larger, and last but not least the double ended Nexus.
At first my attention went to the Corset, hummm I'm giving this to Sally, but I sure would like to try this little thing on for size. I hold it up and looking at it, put it up to me... my little mind dreaming of the things to come, I next look over the dildos, picking them up they feel a little heavier than I expected. I enjoy the feel of the smoothness in my hand, I rub the surface across my cheek. My mind wanders as I caress my new play things.
Only one thing left to do... try em on. I purchased the Texas 2-Strap for myself, well didn't I purchase them all for me.. * wink* ... I mean I plan on keeping the 2-strap at my house. Stepping back I undress... hummmm looking at the two strap, this shouldn't be too hard to figure out. I plan to try the Nexus... "what a toy" I keep thinking, I hope it is half as nice as I imagine.
Now how's this going to work? Do I put the harness on first and then work in the Nexus? Or should the Nexus go first and then the harness?
I figure that I'll adjust the all straps on the 2-strap, then work with the Nexus. So I work with all the adjustments, and i get what I think is a nice fit. My thoughts are that I will need harness pretty snug, as I don't want it to be moving around on me.
Now what am I to do? I give my end of the nexus a nice coating of KY. I know most people seem to like Astroglide, but I've always been comfortable with KY. So, I lube the nexus, and put a little into me. I loosen the side straps, insert the Nexus, and pass it through the O ring. Now..... I tighten the straps.
Viola!!!
I am now standing in front of the mirror, with a nice phallic device extruding from between my legs.
Let me tell you I am excited... at the same time I'm thinking... who would have thunk this about me??? It feels funny, and strange, and weird, and sooooo sexy. I start to move my hips, thrusting, and fucking the air. Soon I am dancing around the room. Kids, let me tell you I am having way too much fun... and I am still alone. After bouncing and dancing and readjusting the straps about a zillion times, start to practice some thrust into my fist. Yes, yes, all of a sudden I realize I'm jacking off. Now, I was laughing my ass off.
This has to make you smile, a middle aged woman whacking off with a dildo.....lol

My sweetie is coming for the weekend, and I am so looking forward to some serious play time.

I didn't post sooner because I didn't want Sally to read it.

Thanks so much for all you help and support. Ya'all really are very nice ... I'd love to kiss each and every one of ya

Sorry I didn't reply sooner; I'm so glad you had so much fun!