A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Bear with me. I think I've done maybe one poll thread in all this time at Lit.
How cliquish are we, really?
- Thread starter A Desert Rose
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A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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brioche said:
shit...
LOL gimme a sec to figure this out... it's been waaaaaaay too long since I did this.
A Desert Rose
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Okay, nevermind. LOL
I guess I fit that brainless submissive mold. I can't fix it now.
Maybe someone can come along and fix it for me?
I guess I fit that brainless submissive mold. I can't fix it now.
Maybe someone can come along and fix it for me?
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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LOL, dunno but I must have missed the clique boat as apart from Lit business and the odd, infrequent hello type email, I don't have contact with Litsters outside the board these days, nor much in the past either. There is one I am beginning to chat with and enjoy getting to know, but time gets in our way far too much!! 
Catalina
Catalina
catalina_francisco
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A Desert Rose said:
LOL, not at all....start a new one with poll and I can merge this one to it if you like, or if you want I can also add a poll to this thread for you.
Catalina
greenmands
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I wouldn't say I was cliquish, more of an elitist. I prefer to associate with people that are well educated, well read, and have an earthy sense of humor.
A Desert Rose
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catalina_francisco said:LOL, not at all....start a new one with poll and I can merge this one to it if you like, or if you want I can also add a poll to this thread for you.
Catalina
Okay... which do you suggest? Which is easier for you to do?
I'll tell you what, you add the poll to this one. Please?
jadefirefly
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greenmands said:I wouldn't say I was cliquish, more of an elitist. I prefer to associate with people that are well educated, well read, and have an earthy sense of humor.
I'm gonna have to agree on this point.
I don't necessarily care if someone likes what I like or listens to what I listen to or whatever. I just like to talk to people who can hold up their own end of a conversation.
Then again I also go for tolerance... as in, if you're talking about something I don't understand, don't assume I'm a complete idiot if I don't get it.
Overall, though, I'd say we're not all that clique-ish... just bitchy sometimes.
A Desert Rose
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catalina_francisco said:LOL, not at all....start a new one with poll and I can merge this one to it if you like, or if you want I can also add a poll to this thread for you.
Catalina
Eureka!!!
It worked. Thank you soooo much for the help, dolly. ;D
A Desert Rose
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His_pita said:I'm proud to say that I am not cliquish at all!
Oh OK, it's really because no one will let me in their little group.
Yes. That would be me, too.
catalina_francisco
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A Desert Rose said:
YW.
Catalina
A Desert Rose
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lne_iii said:Depends on which "we" you are speaking of dear.
LNE
I was speaking of "we" as a community... posters and lurkers, alike.
FurryFury
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I've always been the outcast in life, until well after high school. Now I run into people I went to school with, who are working at say, the grocery store or whatever and they seem to know me, even like me. I wish that had been the feeling I got in school!
Here though, I do feel accepted and even at times cared about or respected. That's a pretty wonderful feeling and I thank everyone who has contributed to it!
That is not to say I feel part of any "clique." I'm just too much of an oddball to truly feel that way. I don't tend to play "favorites" in general either. I tend to simply say what I think or feel. I am content to agree to disagree at times.
Now and then I have felt that some on this board might have a "clique" of sorts in that they've been around longer, agree on certain things and respect each other more. That doesn't particularly bother me. It is simply the way things work in the world. It just makes sense to me. I expect it and anyway, I could always be wrong.
In any case, I don't bash someone or laud someone merely because "everyone else" is doing it. I'm too much of an individual for that.
I voted "not very."
Fury
Here though, I do feel accepted and even at times cared about or respected. That's a pretty wonderful feeling and I thank everyone who has contributed to it!
That is not to say I feel part of any "clique." I'm just too much of an oddball to truly feel that way. I don't tend to play "favorites" in general either. I tend to simply say what I think or feel. I am content to agree to disagree at times.
Now and then I have felt that some on this board might have a "clique" of sorts in that they've been around longer, agree on certain things and respect each other more. That doesn't particularly bother me. It is simply the way things work in the world. It just makes sense to me. I expect it and anyway, I could always be wrong.
In any case, I don't bash someone or laud someone merely because "everyone else" is doing it. I'm too much of an individual for that.
I voted "not very."
Fury
shy slave
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I think I have seen cliques form on Lit only to disband then later reform.
As a group we are not always tolerant of people who wander in here asking questions.
Other times we welcome with open arms, but on the whole I have heard of some unpleasant things happening in pm, which make me think there are elements of clique here.
In r/l I avoid social groups that harbour cliques, online its different; no-one knows if I choose to walk away from a thread (unless I rant about it) whereas in r/l walking away from someone who is mid-sentance is generally considered rude.
As a group we are not always tolerant of people who wander in here asking questions.
Other times we welcome with open arms, but on the whole I have heard of some unpleasant things happening in pm, which make me think there are elements of clique here.
In r/l I avoid social groups that harbour cliques, online its different; no-one knows if I choose to walk away from a thread (unless I rant about it) whereas in r/l walking away from someone who is mid-sentance is generally considered rude.
A Desert Rose
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shy slave said:
This opens another interesting point for me. I rarely PM people and almost never receive PMs, short of the one I got today from some guy promoting his new online book... how in the hell do they even get my name? And why can't I get the PMs like others get... the ones that say they love me and want me to kneel now at their feet?
Anyway, when I do PM someone, and they don't respond, that to me is the height of rudeness. I may not hold grudges, but I do not forget. Almost no one PMs me and on the rare occassion when they do, I respond in some fashion.
I agree that no one knows when you "walk away from a thread" as opposed to walking away from a real person "who is in mid-sentence." That was a great comparison, shy.
It's both harder and easier to be rude online. It's just a matter of how you approach people, I suppose.
graceanne
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A Desert Rose said:
I PM you.
But I agree. With one acception, if someone PM's me, I respond. (In this case a total stranger pm'd me to tell me he though that the idea of me sitting in a dentist chair crying as hot. I didn't know what to say.
) I've had people who've sent me notes about my stories thank me just for replying, cause evidently nomally people don't respond. *shrugs*
SweetCherry
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I'm not cliquey at all. That being said, the town I live in is just liike things were in high school. Everyone has their own clique, and I tend to not fit into any of them. Most of the people I knew and liked around here have since left, so I tend to keep mostly to myself, just because the jocks, the cheerleaders and the homecoming queens have all grown up, but are still living in that mentality, none of which I fit into.
RJMasters
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I choose not very and here's why.
When I first came to Lit I did think there was alot of cliquish behavior, but in hindsight I realize that, that wasn't what was really going on.
In my opinion the nature of a forum board being broken down into sections which cater to people's interest, can in itself be interpreted as cliquish if someone wants to.
I think what happens alot is people claim there are alot of cliquish elements, when in actuality there is just a clear differentiation of interests. BDSM is a large umbrella which covers alot of varied interests as well as approaches and practices. Often when a generic question is asked and you get 5 or 6 different responses to the same question, it usually because one person is answering from a Top or bottom perspective, another may be answering from the Domme/Dom or submissive perspective, others may be answering from the Master or slave perspective. You also then have those who may be responding from a RL perspective verses an online type of perspective, then you throw in the spectrum from vanilla to hardcore kink and your bound to get disagreements on how questions are answers and comments are interpreted.
People who have stuck around long enough to form friendships and learn where another person is coming from, has learned to make room in their thinking as it pertains to some individuals. Others just throw a huff and find cliquishness as good a excuse to take their ball and go home.
Since I have been here at Lit, I have learned a great deal from those who have disagreed with me the most. It has challeneged my thinking and expanded many of my views on things. I like Lit BDSM in that people will not allow ignorant BS to just pass, but call it. As an example: Saying slaves are mindless people is one of the most ignorant statements I have ever heard. That's not me being cliquish, that's me basing that comment on being here a few years at Lit and seeing the contributions of those who identify as being slaves. They are in no way mindless.
Sure some cliquishness exists, but not more than what is normal anywhere else. Just my opinion.
When I first came to Lit I did think there was alot of cliquish behavior, but in hindsight I realize that, that wasn't what was really going on.
In my opinion the nature of a forum board being broken down into sections which cater to people's interest, can in itself be interpreted as cliquish if someone wants to.
I think what happens alot is people claim there are alot of cliquish elements, when in actuality there is just a clear differentiation of interests. BDSM is a large umbrella which covers alot of varied interests as well as approaches and practices. Often when a generic question is asked and you get 5 or 6 different responses to the same question, it usually because one person is answering from a Top or bottom perspective, another may be answering from the Domme/Dom or submissive perspective, others may be answering from the Master or slave perspective. You also then have those who may be responding from a RL perspective verses an online type of perspective, then you throw in the spectrum from vanilla to hardcore kink and your bound to get disagreements on how questions are answers and comments are interpreted.
People who have stuck around long enough to form friendships and learn where another person is coming from, has learned to make room in their thinking as it pertains to some individuals. Others just throw a huff and find cliquishness as good a excuse to take their ball and go home.
Since I have been here at Lit, I have learned a great deal from those who have disagreed with me the most. It has challeneged my thinking and expanded many of my views on things. I like Lit BDSM in that people will not allow ignorant BS to just pass, but call it. As an example: Saying slaves are mindless people is one of the most ignorant statements I have ever heard. That's not me being cliquish, that's me basing that comment on being here a few years at Lit and seeing the contributions of those who identify as being slaves. They are in no way mindless.
Sure some cliquishness exists, but not more than what is normal anywhere else. Just my opinion.
A Desert Rose
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RJMasters said:
People don't realize, either that many posters come and go in a blink of an eye. It's hard to form attatchments to folks that make a post or 2 or start a thread and never return. In fact, I don't make bonds with many people unless they hang around a while.
Great post, RJ.
