A Welcome Distraction (Closed)

OOC: Closed for MelancholyBaby and LordOfAnarchy along with anyone else my Lord would like to include.
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I had never really been the type to get infatuated with someone. I didn’t have time for silly things like that. Feet firmly planted on the ground, head miles away from the clouds; I knew what I wanted and how to get there. Romance, intimacy, companionship…all of that could wait. Which is why my recent crush really troubled me. Don’t get me wrong, I could appreciate physical and intellectual attractiveness but I had never really felt the need to act upon my feelings. After all, if I felt lust I could always take care of that by myself. But this recent turn of events was very different. I felt preoccupied. I felt my attention drawn toward his appearance and manner rather than his lecture. And I was never like that. Ever.

In fact, I should have never been in his class to begin with. A troublesome oversight on my part brought to my attention by my graduation audit led me to his class. I was furious. I had tried to get all of the tuition-wasting classes out of the way immediately, some even before I entered college. Yet here I was stuck in a class with students who cared more about keg parties than their GPAs. I was pleased, in a guilt-ridden sort of way, that the class was rather simple. It compensated for the lack of attention I paid to the lecture material in favor of a more aesthetically pleasing professor.

He was passing back our latest test. Instead of the usual “A” scribbled on it there was a note. See me. See me? Except for the two red words the rest of the test exhibited no evidence that he had graded it. I wasn’t a see me type of girl. I was a “Simply Excellent Work” girl. I was irritated. Thankfully when we received our tests back we were free to leave so I could immediately get to the bottom of this “See me” business.

I stealthly pulled a small mirror from my bag and checked out my appearance. What would it have mattered anyway? I didn't carry the entire Clinique cosmetic line with me as most of my peers did, so even if I looked extremely disheveled there was nothing I could have done about it anyway. Usually I wasn't preoccupied with my appearance, I was pretty low maintenance. A regime of Dove soap left my ivory skin smooth and flawless against my dark brown hair that curled gently around my face and down onto my chest. My uncle always said I had Bette Davis eyes, which made me a little more comfortable with the wide blue eyes that somehow seemed abnormally large for my face. I used rosebud lip salve on my lips, preferring it to lipstick or gloss. I was nothing spectacular, nothing that would land on America's Top Model or something, but I had come to the decision that I was "cute." And the mirror confirmed that when I confronted my professor in minutes I would be looking cute then, too. I stood up, sliding the strap of my messenger bag over my shoulder and waited for the throng of students to pass and allow me to walk down the stairs toward the podium where the professor was standing. As soon as it was clear my 5'4" slender frame began the descent toward the podium to "See" him.

Psych 101. Imagine my surprise when I see a senior student name pop up on my roster at the beginning of the semester! It didn't make sense. Seniors never took my course, even though it was considered by many as a "blow off."

Psychology is always so interpretive, so I allow my students plenty of leeway in their interpretation as long as they can show justified basis for their reasoning. It always stimulated me to play with their young fragile minds and see how twisted, and perverted I could scramble things up for them, especially when they didn't even realize it. That was the whole basis of psychology; understanding the complexities of the human mind. For me, it's always the thrill of finding out what makes the person 'tick,' and using that to push them, drive them, to new levels.

Having begun the new year, and a new semester, I was eager to delve into the new student body, in search of a young student body! It was rumored among many, though never proven, that I had maintained a secret relationship with a certain young student, whom shall remain nameless. The young beauty graduated with honors last year, and is now pursuing higher goals, leaving me to search for another; another conquest. Which brings me back to class.

I wondered what it could be that drove this young maiden to enroll in my class, and I was determined to find out. The first week of lectures, I noticed that she wasn't paying particular interest to what I was saying, her pen rarely scribbling upon her paper, unlike many of the other students. Her eyes however, remained glued to me, as if reading my lips, staring intently as if her life hung on the words I spoke. During the first of weekly tests, I sat back and studied her carefully as she dutifully answered all the questions. I silently wondered how she would do on the test, given her lack of note taking.

The more I watched her, the more I became intrigued with her. Her big blue eyes radiated pure innocence on her lily white face, outlined by her brown hair that hung down to her ample sized breasts. She was definitely a good looking female. The longer I stared, the more I could feel a twitch in my loins. I could feel the need for her, the hunger to have her, begin to consume my body. I normally tended to stay away from seniors because the time spent with them was way too short, and because they could be rather snooty. I preferred to take my pick from the incoming freshman class, but for some reason, I felt compelled to get closer acquainted to this lovely senior.

When I sat down to grade the tests, hers was the first that I scrambled looking for, eager to find if my assumptions were true. To my amazement, I was wrong. She did exceptionally well on the first test, better than most of the class. I was astounded! I needed answers. Rather than grade her paper, I simply wrote with my trusty red pen, "See Me," across the top of the page. Nothing else. Just those two words.

As I lay in bed that night, stroking my stiffness, I thought more about what drove her to my class. I wondered if she'd heard the rumors, and might be seeking me out to take her, infatuated with me, secretly lusting after me. After all, I wasn't bad looking! I kept in good shape and stayed strong, assisting the head coach for the football team. I worked out dilligently in the gym alongside the players, each of us motivating the other. Standing six, six, two ninety, with only ten percent fat, I was a lean mean fightin machine! Whatever the reason, I was determined to find out, and knew that the next day would provide some preliminary answers.

Class began as usual, though I could sense an air of expectancy from all the students, wanting to know what their grades were. "Part of psychology," I explained to them, "is understanding anxiety, which many times is brought on merely by anticipation." We reviewed many of the items covered in the test, so that when the students got their papers back, they would understand why they received the grade they did, rather than be bombarded with students wanting explanations and clarifications. When class was nearly done, I passed out the papers, making sure I had hers, shuffled into the middle of the pile. I watched her eyes glance down, expectantly waiting to see her normal high mark on the paper, only to find those two words. I knew she was shaken somewhat. That's exactly what I needed.

As the class filtered out, a few students meandered up front for minor clarifications, which I politely gave, keeping an eye on the senior who was checking her appearance in the tiny mirror she held in her hand. She rose from the seat, the tiny five four frame sliding down the steps till she stood nervously in front of me. I could tell she was uneasy, somewhat fearful to look me in the eyes. "How may I help you," I asked. She held out her paper, and I noted how the paper trembled slightly, seeing the red words upon the paper. "Ah, yes," I said rather confidently, my bass voice now echoing in the empty classroom. "Why don't you come to my office?"

Without waiting for acknowledgement, or reply, I turned and exited through the rear door, waiting for her to follow.

Katherine

He hadn't even given me an opportunity to speak. I had already rehearsed in my head a bit what I was going to say "Thank you, but no, I'm not interested in taking this class as an honors option, I've fullfilled the honors portion of my degree and I really need the extra time to spend on my research in chem lab." But I didn't have a chance to say that. I didn't have a chance to say anything.

All I could do was dutifully follow him as he exited the class still clutching my test in my hand. He walked fast through the busy halls, people seemed to get out of his way, giving us a clear path to walk. It wasn't until we were almost to the psychology department offices that I realized that at this moment I should have been clear across campus in my physical chemistry class. Now there was a class I couldn't afford to do poorly in. This gen ed class? It mattered little. I tried to say something, that I needed to go, that I could come back during office hours but I strangely was not my outspoken self. What the hell was going on with me?

Our silent journey was finally over as we reached his office. While some of the faculty had to share offices, he had his own. I wondered what it looked like. I wondered what kind of books besides psychological texts he would have lining the shelves of his bookcases. Or what kind of posters or decorations it would have. "Kat," I said to myself as he unlocked his door, "What is wrong with you?"

He flipped on the light switch and motioned for me to sit down as he proceeded to check his voice mail on his office phone. I deserved to have my paper graded. I didn't deserve to go through all of this. My patience was about exhausted. Maybe I should have paid better attention in class so that I would know the words for what he was doing to me. Right now the only thing that came to mind was mind-fucking or rudeness, depending on what his intention was. But he was too smart and charming to be this rude...he definitely was fucking with me.

I stared down at the test, entwining my fingers together to keep from fidgeting. I gaze up for a moment to examine him a bit better, my eyes skimming over him, realizing that he was more attractive than I had first thought. I hadn't realized how large he was until I was so close to him. I hadn't realized a lot of things until just now, actually. I closed my eyes for a minute, imagining what his bare chest would look like, imagining what something else might look like... The sound of him placing the phone on the receiver jarred me from my fantasy. My eyes flew open and I sat up straight in the chair, ready to discuss my test.

I never looked back, but I could feel her presence, I could smell her faint, delectable scent, racing to keep up with me as we traversed the hallways to my private office. Reaching into my pocket, I fumbled for my keys, taking the opportunity to adjust my growing excitement over the situation. The door had a brass plate upon it, inscribed in black was "Dr. Ronald Pollard." Just above that was a similar brass plate, "Psychology," inscribed upon it. I opened the door and turned on the light illuminating the otherwise dark interior. Even though this was my office, it doubled as my little home away from home, almost every amenity a small efficiency would have, could also be found in this tiny space. I directed Kat to the chair by the desk, reserving the therapist's sofa for later "discussions."

I sensed her uneasiness as I ignored her presence, busying myself with mundane tasks like checking my voice mail messages. I happened to glance over at her, admiring the simple blouse she wore, only the top two buttons undone, showing absolutely no hint of her cleavage. I also noticed her eyes flutter before closing them. Was it nerves, or was she lost in thought? In either case, I set my phone for, "Do Not Interrupt," and hung up the phone with a thud. I was surprised, just as Kat was, to see her snap to attention like a good soldier, sitting upright in her chair, eyes open wide, staring at me. Once again, the baby blues captivated me, almost melting my heart, though I knew I needed to be in control, if I were to have my desires fulfilled.

"Let me see," I said to Kat holding my hand out, waiting for her to place the paper in it. I purposefully moved my large hand to her delicate tiny one, touching her as she placed the test in my palm. I never sat at the chair behind my desk, knowingly letting my sheer size dominate her tiny frame as she sat there watching me. I paced back and forth, her eyes constantly following me as I reviewed her test. Even as I circled behind her, she craned her neck to watch my every move. This was a first step in the psychological transformation, the subject constantly watching closely, looking for any indication of what her Master was thinking, or would desire. She was playing right into my hands, though I needed more information.

"Kat!" I practically barked, as if yelling at the football players. She jumped in her chair, reflexively caught off guard. "Why is it you enrolled in my class?"

Still not addressing the test issue, Kat found it necessary to explain herself. That's when I found out that she needed the course as a pre-requisite for graduation. An oversight on her part and her counselor's part for not completing the course in her earlier years. That was the bit of information I needed. A carrot to dangle in front of her, something to tease her with, until the transformation was complete. Now I was prepared to move ahead with my plans.

I circled back to my side of the desk, laid her test down on the mahogany laminate top and leaned against the desk. I could feel the bulge create tension in my trousers as the material was trapped between my legs and the desk. Though she tried not to be obvious about it, I caught her eyes quickly glance down. If she were looking at the test, she couldn't miss the bulge in my trousers. If she were looking at the bulge in my trousers, she couldn't miss my obvious arousal.

Her eyes quickly darted back up to meet mine as I resumed pacing. Kat's eyes followed obediently. "Kat! You are a senior! As such, you should know that the faculty always expect a little more from the upperclassmen. To be perfectly honest, I was a little disappointed with your answers to this first test. Your answers to the test were completely correct and nothing is wrong with them ... However, your answers are practically verbatim to my lectures. They show no insight and no perspective on your true being. I've noticed you practically daydreaming during my lectures. That amazes me that despite that, you are still able to quote me. You are obviously a very intelligent young lady, but I expect much more from you than the rest of the class. I am witholding grading your tests until you can show me your own personal views and perspectives to the questions I pose."

I could sense her growing uneasiness as she began fidgeting in the chair. I stopped for a few moments, giving her a chance to recompose herself, and hopefully keep from crying. I didn't like that, and didn't wish to push her to that point. I just wanted her to know I had high expectations for her, and expected her to meet them. I returned to her side of the desk as she shifted to follow my movements. Holding her test in my hand, I sat on the therapeutic sofa and laid back, stretching out my log limbs. I stretched my arms over my head, once again, giving Katherine a good view of my muscular form.

Holding her test above my head, I glanced quickly then closed my eyes as if deep in thought. I lowered the test paper to my abdomen, letting it sit on my slowly rising and falling stomach. "Now tell me Kat ... In your own terms, in your own words, not those which I lectured in class ... Explain the theories of magnetism as it relates to the human psyche, specifically the old adage that 'opposites attract.'

I knew Kat had another class to attend, but by the time this session was over she would have already missed it. Hopefully by the time this session was over, I would be able to convince Kat to rearrange her schedule to allow for some more 'private' tutoring.

I was prepared to interrupt her reply and redirect it if it didn't lead specifically to references of her and I being opposites.

Katherine

He was the most strange yet intriguing man I had met in my life. He was playing games. No, I was letting him play games with me. "Get some balls, Kat," I thought. "Don't let him do this to you. Go to the dean, this is crap, all this just to get your test graded." But I knew I wouldn't. For with every minute I spent in his office I felt myself want to know more about him. What he was about. How he could do what he did to me and why I let him get away with it.

As I handed him the paper I felt his hand brush mine. His hands were probably about the size of both of mine put together. I wondered if his touch was intentional. I doubted he did anything by accident. And then I waited. Not so patiently. My eyes followed him, staring, desperately wanting to see some kind of reaction from him. He gave me none. I couldn't take my eyes off him, even turning my head around to watch him as he walked behind me. I must have looked pathetic to him the way I followed his every move.

And despite the fact that I had been staring at him I still jumped when he finally chose to speak to me. And I went into the whole ridiculous nonsense of why I was stuck in his 100 level class in my senior year of college. Maybe if I got this background information out of the way he would finally talk to me about my test. After all, that was why I was here when I should have been clear across campus in a class that really mattered to me and my future. But this had to matter too, damn it. As much as it insulted my intelligence and tried my patience I needed this class to graduate.

I thought he was finally going to sit down as he laid my paper down on his desk. Instead he leaned against it, putting his lower body and my test in the same line of vision. I tried to look away but I couldn't. He was...huge. Disturbingly, magnetically huge. Oh god, what was I doing. Perhaps it was just an illusion. The way that the fabric of his pants fell, the way he was standing. Yet it made sense that a man of his physical size would have proportionate appendages. I swallowed hard, trying hard to act like nothing was going on, hoping that my face was not blushing at my brazen gawking. Thankfully he began pacing again and thus I had to tear my eyes away from the bulge in his trousers.

I listened to his words. He was disappointed in me. I couldn't remember ever hearing those two words ever associated during my entire academic career. I couldn't tell if I was more hurt or angry, or maybe it was something else. I felt my face flush, my eyes blinking quickly, trying to hold back little tears. I had prided myself on my mind more than anything else. To think that this same mind could have disappointed him upset me greatly. He was silent for awhile, allowing me to have my little moment of grief and shame. Disappointed. I couldn't shake that.

He moved away, finally sitting down on the sofa. I envied the way he seemed so comfortable. The way he could relax and stretch and just act like nothing was out of the ordinary when obviously this was not the type of stuff that went on during office hours. He finally spoke, having noticed that I had regained my composure. "Now tell me Kat ... In your own terms, in your own words, not those which I lectured in class ... Explain the theories of magnetism as it relates to the human psyche, specifically the old adage that 'opposites attract.'"

Shit. An oral exam. Or something like it. And I wasn't prepared. I guess I should say I was prepared enough to get an A on a 100 level test. I wasn't prepared to discuss the material with him as I would be able to do in my major classes. After I all no other professor had ever asked for this. I closed my eyes, trying to think back to the lectures. I didn't remember much. Except for what he wore. Or if he made funny comments. Or if he got very animated about something. Those were truly the only things I could remember. The rest, well, I was blessed with an almost photographic memory so remembering bits of the lectures was easy enough. But they would do me no good now.

My answers wouldn't be from the book or from him. They would be a bit of BS...basically my opinions, my thoughts, my ideas. I hoped it would be enough, at least this time. I could always prepare differently for next time now that I knew that I was held to a higher standard than the rest of the class.

I cleared my throat and began, in my most academic voice, answering his questions. "I think that humans are perhaps attracted to things they don't have. Physical traits, qualities, sensitivities; all of those things. And perhaps the level of attraction is based somewhat on our most basic needs. For example, a woman of my size may desire a larger man. She feels protected and sheltered by his size and strength. This makes her feel safe and satisifes that need. Perhaps girls that are shy seek to find a man who is the opposite...to help them express themselves when they cannot. And perhaps a strong man who is collected and has control of his life seeks a different type of girl to come home to, to reveal and be comfortable in being himself without any pressure to fit into societial expectations." I paused and caught his eyes, wishing so deeply for his approval, knowing that next time I would do so much better if he would give me the chance...

It was hard to feign disinterest in her response as she formulated her thoughts. She was good; damn good. It only fueled my own mind to battle her, to create that struggle, to help her realize her part in my world. She was not going to pass my course without submitting to me, I was determined of that now.

I tilted my head and glanced to her, catching her blue eyes, seeing that familiar look that her predecessors all had. It was that pure look of pleading for approval. It's what made my cock twitch every time I looked into my partner's eyes, the gateways to their souls. Peering close, I could sense it. It was there. A small flicker from a burning candle. My task was to add wood and gasoline to that flame, till she was as she was supposed to be. I had to turn away, deny her that sense of approval and appreciation that she was so accustomed to getting. Life in my world was never going to be the same as what she had grown accustomed to in her world.

"Kat!" I barked, making her jump again, my voice naturally echoing throughout the small room. "So the mere physical qualiteis of positive and negative polarities bring people together? If that's so, that explains, the football jock and the cheerleader, a large man and a small girl? Then if that's true, what you say is that a thin small man, craves a large fat girl for shelter and protection also. C'mon, you gotta do better than that."

Again, it was all a matter of leading Kat to a conclusion that she might not want to admit. A conclusion, that I was sure and determined to draw out of her. If not today, very soon! I sat up opn the couch, planting my feet back on the floor as I purposefully caught her eyes on this occasion. Now I held her gaze, not looking away; my eyes burning into her own, entering into her soul.

"The shy girl is attracted to an outgoing male beacuse, why? She can't express herself? No, Kat! The shy girl assumes that the outgoing male will expand her world, within the safety of his shadow." This was the beginning of educating Kat. "The freedom of expression only comes with confidence, something a shy girl rarely ever achieves. What you refer to are the repressed emotions, or feelings that an individual might have, needing someone that can coax tose to the surface. You should know that! That was the next question. Is it that you're getting things confused?"

The stare I held in her eyes, told me I was rattling her. The tears weren't falling, but I could see the glassy coating covering her eyes every time I hit a chord, only held back by her fluttering lids. Unrelenting in my attack to her senses, I rose from my feet and crossed the short distance to an armoire. I opened the tiny set of doors, revealing a hidden clothes closet of sorts. A couple pressed shirts hung on wire hangers, evenly spaced apart. A gray jacket and pant suit hung to the far left, a tweed jacket and tan pants hung next to the other suit. I pulled the jacket from my broad shoulders, letting it slip down my arms, my back turned to Kat, knowing she was watching me closely as I continued to talk.

"A man with strength and control? Is that what you said? Gives it up when he goes home? You've been reading too many fantasies! Once again, what you are referring to is the suppression of feelings and standards in order to fit into societal expectations."

I hung the jacket on the only empty wire hanger, then loosened my tie. I turned to face Kat, letting her watch me undress in front of her, while I continued to dispute her response. I let the ends of the tie hang down either side of my chest as I began unbuttoning the buttons one by one, watching Kat's eyes, follow my hands from my neck to my abdomen, once again, lingering on the bulge in my trousers. I knew she had caught my subtle display earlier, a slight crimson color, rising through her neck as she fought the urge to look away. I pulled the tails out and opened my shirt, just enough to expose the white muscle tee I had on underneath. I turned back to the closet, keeping Kat's attention.

"What is interesting though, Kat ... is that you speak of the small girl, the shy girl, when I asked for your thoughts. You gave no consideration to other types. Is there something within that response that has personal significance? Were you referring to yourself? Do you prefer a larger, stronger gentleman? Do you seek out someone who can speak on your behalf?"

Those were home run hitters. I folded the tie and placed it among the four others kept in my closet. I carefully removed my shirt and hung it between the suits and the clean shirts, adjusting all the hangers so they were evenly spaced apart, keeping everything neat and tidy. Folding my arms in front of me, I grabbed the hem of my tee and lifted my arms to the ceiling, peeling the tee off as I did so. I could feel my muscles riip as I stood there as if holding a two-hundred pound bar above my head. I discarded the tee into a wastebasket that doubled as a hamper, at the foot of the closet. Reaching into the drawer, I pulled out a dark blue pullover, the collar and arms were banded in gold stripes. I unfolded the neatly placed shirt and put it on. I tugged on the short sleeves, feeling the way they clung tight to the biceps and then adjusted the collar. I smoothed my hands over the poly cotton, my right hand going over the embrodered name stitched in gold, "Coach Pollard," my left hand going over the embroidered school mascot, the lion.

Pushing Kat just a bit further, I reached into a lower drawer and pulled out a pair of dark blue coaching shorts, obviously leaving Kat to wonder if I was going to change into those before her very eyes.

Turning back to her, holding the shorts so she could see them, apparently looking like they were three sizes too small, I resumed my choreographed rebuttal. "Or is it Kat, that there is some secret, some deep hidden feeling that you are desperately trying to repress ... trying to keep from coming to the surface, for it is in conflict with societal standards that you have grown accustomed to meeting?"

Not giving her a chance to respond yet, I motioned for her to turn around, feigning at least a bit of modesty, while I changed into my coaching shorts.

She did, her face turning that pretty crimson color as I hurriedly changed into my tight fitting shorts, the bottoms clinging to my muscular thighs, the middle, doing nothing to hide the bulge contained within. "Okay you can turn around," I commanded, to which she did, still embarrassed for her inability to take her eyes off the way the shorts fit me. This time I returned to my desk and sat down in the large black chair. I leaned forward, finally giving Kat the impression she had my undivided attention.

"What is it Kat? Are these your true feelings, or a feeble attempt to come up with a lame answer to the test question?"

I could see the transformation begin. The insecurity showed right through. She was unable to hide that from my trained eye. Still leaning in close to her, I awaited her response.

Kat

It was, of course, not the best oral presentation I had ever given. But considering that I had barely opened the textbook and hadn't completely absorbed the lectures I felt I did pretty damn good. But what I thought didn't matter. I wanted, no, I needed to see his response to me. I was desperate for a kind word, an approving glance. I searched his face for it, a part of me growing uncomfortable with how much I seemed to need his approval.

Despite the fact that I was almost staring at him his deep voice still seemed to startle me. I don't think I heard much of what he said next until I heard "C'mon, you gotta do better than that." Those were fighting words. Those were words I never heard and never wanted to hear again. He finally sat down and looked at me. Really looked at me. A little too deep. I felt like an open book then and it didn't sit well with me. Still, when his eyes stared into mine I felt like I never wanted to look away. That I could speak to him without saying a word. That perhaps he understood some part of me that I couldn't understand just yet. The part that was hidden. The part that flickered within me now despite the fact that I tried to blow it out.

Perhaps all this time, all semester, I had seen that. That which I couldn't put my finger on. An aura about him, a magnetism that went beyond a simple appreciation of his fine physical form and attractive face.

He continued, a barrage of hurtful words that carelessly stabbed my psyche. "No, Kat," "You should know that," "Is it that you're getting things confused." But he had said a few minutes earlier that I was intelligent, that my answers were correct. What was he trying to do? What was he accomplishing by telling me this? And why did he care so much about my performance? I should have been just another student number, another blank stare in the lecture hall. Why was he wasting his time on me? I again felt my eyes getting hot, the first hints of tears collecting in them. I blinked hard, trying to remove the telltale signs of how much his words were affecting me.

I watched him as he got up, casually walking to a cleverly designed armoire that held hid a closet. I thought this a bit peculiar. Most of my professors were, well, not overly conscious of their clothes and I doubted they had any pressed shirts hanging in their closets at all. But it went beyond the clothes. It was his evident sophistication, the clothes merely being a venue to reflect this. It was attractive to me. So was his undressing. Kat, look away. Gosh. You must look totally pathetic, staring at him like that. And what was he thinking undressing in front of me like that, anyway? I couldn't see Dr. Brewer, my mentor, doing that. The very thought of it made me chuckle inwardly and yet at the same time be thankful I hadn't been exposed to that.

And when he began to speak again...I realized how I had really given him the open book; my eyes hadn't completely given everything away. My words had. My exclusion of mentioning any personality type other than that of myself and an strong gentleman. Like me and him. Oh god, Kat, now you've done it. I blushed again; a result of my unexpected and embarrassing revelation and seeing him undress. I was enjoying it a little too much. I shifted a bit in my chair, feeling the beginnings of arousal between my legs. I felt warm, like that part of me had awoken from a rather lengthy nap. It had been awhile for me. I didn't find the time for dating and actually I didn't find anyone attractive enough to date...not that I'm vain, I'm talking holistically...mind, spirit, body. But it had been awhile.

I actually shivered a bit as I watched him pull of his tee. I wanted to feel his chest, I wanted to run my small hands over its size, I wanted to feel his strength. I wanted to feel the heat and the firmness, I wanted to watch his muscles ripple as he moved. I wanted to feel his arms and hands holding mine down as he... "Katherine Marie Jennings, what the HELL are you thinking?" I interrupted my growing fantasy with my disgusted inner voice. "You don't fuck Professors. You don't fantasize about them."

But I couldn't help but wonder if my fantasies were a bit justified and inspired. For now I watched as he pulled out a pair of shorts. I couldn't help but hope he would change in front of me. I had definitely noticed the bulge in his pants earlier, and I could only imagine what it looked like with only boxers or briefs covering it.

He continued to address me, and I struggled to focus on what he was saying so I could answer at least somewhat intelligently. I couldn't very well excuse my inability to answer his questions by saying I was too busy checking him out and fantasizing about what he looked like without his pants. It would remain a fantasy, though, as he indicated silently that he wished me to turn around. I did as he asked, quite reluctant and warning myself as to the dangers of peeking.

I finally was able to turn around and he finally came to sit in front of me, not speaking, waiting for my answers. I noticed a spark of something in his eyes. I wanted desperately to know what it was. Yet I knew I would not be getting anywhere with him until I answered the questions, and honestly. I wanted to somehow take his attention off myself as the source of my answers and feelings about the attraction of opposites to each other. But truly I couldn't. For without that example; relying on me and why I would be attracted to an opposite of mine...I couldn't have answered the question at all.

I took a deep breath and began, my voice no longer trying to be academic and authoritative. I was simply Kat. "I guess I am speaking from my own experience and my own feelings." I paused, waiting to see if he would respond. Seeing his face remain unchanged I knew I would have to elaborate. "I am not used to talking about this, especially with a professor, so bear with me..I...I...I am rather shy and I guess I do seek a larger, stronger man...I mean, I don't know...but in my experience that is what is most attractive to me. Not that I've had it. I've had everything else but that. And it didn't work. I don't want boys like me." I looked up at him, trying to read him. I wasn't very good at it. I decided to continue. "I don't know if it anything secret. I don't know why it is what it is. I only know it is. But there is something there that I am not fully aware of yet...that I don't feel like I know what it is." I felt for a minute like I was on Dr. Phil. But opening up to him seemed to me like more of a challenge than it would be to open up on national TV.

"Does that make any sense? How do you deal with a part of you that you don't understand at all? That you have no idea where it comes from and why it is there? A part that seems foreign, unidentifiable; that you can hardly believe it came from the same place as the rest of you?" I had probably revealed too much. But once I began to think about, I found my words coming freely. And maybe he could help me; maybe he could understand...he was a psychology professor after all.

Listening to her ramble, I was pleasantly amused to hear her admit, in part, and in theory that, yes indeed, those were her personal feelings and had no basis as a valid test response based on comparisons of mutiple test subjects. She hadn't considered other possibilities to her conclusions.

I also took special interest in the way her eyes jumped from the desk to me, when she had mentioned that she seeked a "larger, stronger man ..." Either my treatment of Kat was doing its wonders, I had made a lucky choice, or it was what she wanted. However, I sensed a plea for my understanding to what she was trying to say, but afraid to let slip from her lips. She wanted me, as much as I wanted her!

It was a difficult thing for any student to admit to their professor, I was sure; but her words and her subconscious actions spoke more volumes than the words that came from her soft pink moving lips. I knew I had her on a stringer. She was now hanging on the words I would speak, watching my lips, my face, looking for some kind of indication that I knew what she was trying to say.

Remaining stoic and unfazed, as difficult as it was, I pulled away from the desk and leaned back in my chair. I glanced to the ceiling tiles and then back to her. Kat's blue eyes, were wide and pleading. "Kat," I barked once more, seeing her flinch. "Unfortunately, we are here to discuss your lack of attention during my lectures, and your failure to succesfully justify your incomplete test answers."

I paused and looked to the golden watch that clung to my meaty wrist, then back to Kat. "I wasn't prepared to psychoanalyze your personal life issues." I was surprised to see how quickly time had passed, needing to wrap things up, for I needed to be in the weight room with the football team in twenty minutes, and that was clear across campus.

I could see the nervousness in her eyes. "I suggest, in order to successfully pass my class, which you need to do, you clear your course schedule immediately following each of my lectures. At that time we will continue to address the test questions, and your understanding of the material presented in class."

I rose from his chair and stood at the edge of the desk once more, watching Kat's eyes drift down and settle upon the large bulge, hardly concealed within the tight fitting shorts. I grabbed a slip of paper from a nearby pad and scribbled upon it. "I have got to get to football practice now." I ripped the paper from the pad and circled the desk, now towering over Kat who remained glued to her seat.

I held out his hand, proferring the piece of paper, waiting for her to take it. I watched her eyes, questioningly wonder what was on the paper as her hand went to mines. Again, I moved my hand purposefully so that they made contact; so that she could feel my skin touch hers, so that she could feel that spark of electricity jolt through her body everytime she came in contact with me. It is what she wanted after all!

She took the slip and let her eyes quickly scan over an address. It was my home address; a spacious condo, away from the campus, but not far. "Come over at seven thirty, and we'll delve into those personal issues you raised." I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to stand, for I had to leave, otherwise, I'd be late, something I didn't tolerate.

Kat must have understood, because she grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder as she got up from the seat. I ushered her to the door, not offering her a chance to deny my invitation. As we walked through the doorway, I told her to not be late. We walked side by side, not saying a word to each other down the narrow hallway, Kat seemingly hiding in my shadow. At the end of the hallway she turned right, and I headed left, each heading in our own direction.

Just before I walked through the exit door, I turned to see her rounded bottom wriggle in those tight jeans she was wearing. "Kat?" I barked, getting her attention as she turned to me once again. "Wear something more, um ... ladylike!"

I turned away, not seeing her reaction to the comment I was sure others in the hallway could have possibly overheard. I exited to the quadrangle and proceeded to the practice facility with only one thing on my mind!

Kat

I didn't even remember that I had been answering a test question with my responses. Instead I had revealed too much about me. Way too much. The me I wasn't comfortable discussing, the me that I kept pushed inside, not allowing her to breathe. It was for the best that I did just that, in the best interest of myself and everyone around me that I kept the too human Katherine inside, much preferring Kat's quiet stoicism and seriousness. In this case, however, I had little choice. Katherine, in her meek little way, had managed to push past all my defenses and assert herself as a part of me, seeking to reveal herself to an unlikely source, my psychology professor.

But she had to. I had to. I felt compelled to. As if my words were drawn out of me the way a magician draws the endless scarf from his sleeve...and I just kept going and going the same way. I felt my body's strange response to what I had just divulged, my stomach queasy, my heart beating quickly as if I had been exercising. Awkwardness softened with anticipation. I waited for his response, silently praying he would understand, that he would react in a sympathetic manner. I searched his face, waiting for any slight movement that could be understood as a response.

His voice cut through the silence, effortlessly sharp, the pain jarring me back to reality. Of course he "wasn't prepared to psychoanalyze your personal life issues," Kat. He was your professor; not your shrink, not your soulmate. It was only after I had gotten over that humiliation when I fully realized what he had asked before that. To clear my class schedule. I coudn't do that. I felt guilty enough having missed my physical chemistry lecture this afternoon, let alone drop the class entirely. I didn't know if they offered another section of it that I could transfer to, but it was very unlikely. I guess I didn't really need p-chem as it wasn't in my major but...why was he making me do this? I could have transferred to any other Psych 101 class in the school and walk out of there with an A. Why did I have to go through so much for this. And further, why wasn't I protesting? I had argued with other professors for much less than this, yet now I sat silent and accomodating. I was totally disgusted with myself.

He rose from his chair and my eyes remained starting straight ahead, coming to rest upon his shorts and the large bulge contained inside of them. I was a bit fascinated by it, I realized. I began to wonder if it was usually that large or maybe I had...had an effect on him? My attention turned to his hands where he was writing something. I lifted my head a bit to try to see over his hand but he was finished too quickly and the paper was ripped from the pad before I could see what he was writing.

He held the slip out to me and I looked at him as I took it. His hand touched mine for an instant and it was as if a current passed through him into me. My eyes looked down to read the paper seeing a single address written on the paper. It must be his. My eyes flew up to meet his where he stood by the door, and I understood then that he must have to go. There would be no time for a compromise. I would have to go over to his house. I couldn't get out of it. That is unless I wanted to fail his class and never graduate.

We walked silently out of his office. As much as I wanted to question, to protest...it would have been futile in his office and even more futile if I were to try it out here. And if my humiliation was not transparent enough as we walked side by side he chose to comment on what I was to wear in front of everyone in the hallway. My face turned bright red as his voice broke through the air, feeling everyone turn to see who he was talking to. I was absolutely mortified. I was glad that we were both going in different directions as I quickly walked home, eager to get into my apartment, to just be by myself, to plan my course of action. Kat did NOT get bullied by anyone.

But when I got home instead of begin to draft a letter on my experience with him I walked to my closet, seeing if I had something appropriately lady-like to wear. As much as I wanted to drop his class or become free of it I also wanted it to continue my education with him. There was something intriguing about him...some sort of relationship dynamic I wasn't used to that made me want to learn more and more and more. And so I would. Might as well get an A and actually learn something in the process.

And I would show him just how ladylike and cute I could be. I chose a pastel blue sundress with white trim that ended just above my knees. Although it was almost fall it was still quite warm out and the sundress had wide straps that made it look appropriate in any season. Underneath I wore a white matching pair of bra and panties. I curled my hair in large waves that framed my face nicely and also applied a little mascara and lip gloss. I looked natural and yet deliciously feminine. I finished the look off with a pair of low heeled white sandals that would make it evident that I had even painted my toenails. Lady-like, indeed. I took one last glimpse at myself in the mirror, spritzing on a bit of my favorite cologne, Mademoiselle, and headed toward my car. The drive to his place was not far, I had a few friends who lived there after they had graduated and now were in grad programs or working in the area. I knew the way and was grateful for that. I would have almost certainly got list if this were a new place, I had trouble concentrating when I was nervous and I was certainly nervous now.

As I pulled into the drive that entered the subdivision I felt myself almost shaking. Nervous and yet excited. Warmth spread from between my legs as I felt myself wondering if this, possibly, could be in store for me....that I may be able to be with the man who I had been checking out since the first day of class. I matched the numbers on the mailbox to the numbers on the paper and pulled into the driveway. The yard was immaculate and sophisticated and seemed very fitting of him. I took a deep breath and pulled the light sweater from the seat next to me and placed it over my shoulders. Smoothing my skirt down I stood in front of the door and placed a shaking hand on the doorbell and pushed it.

I was thankful for the trek across campus to get to the practice facility. It allowed my raging hormones an opportunity to calm down and an opportunity for me to gather my thoughts. Kat had stirred a definite interest, and despite her Senior status, I somehow felt there was a distinct possibility that she'd be around for a while longer, beyond her senior year. I had assumed, given the cost of tuition to his fine institution, she came from money; and, another year or two spent *broadening her education* would be of no concern to her parents.

There was something unique about Katherine that had intrigued me, and yet there was more to her that I knew was dying to come out. There was definitely a shell there that had been cracked. Hopefully my *psychoanalysis* sessions with her would bring those hidden, repressed, subconscious feelings to the surface.

Practice seemed unusually long, though it was no longer than any other. My mind was definitely not on the players this afternoon. Time dragged slow. I was thankful when the whistle blew, signaling that my time with Kat was drawing near. I left the facility and jumped in my car and headed home. Once there, I sat in the car and waited for Katherine to show up. I purposefully didn't enter the house, staying in the warm car, the sweat lingering and building just a bit.

It was only quarter after seven, when I spotted her car pull up and park. She was early. I chuckled to myself; she wasn't late, but next time I'd have to tell her to be 'on time.' It was that added pressure that I liked to add; pressure to get there early enough, then have to wait till that exact moment. Being early though did have its advantages, making my approach, more believable. I took the opportunity to let my eyes wander over the somewhat transformed beauty that exited her car, checking herself in the mirror before she did. The light blue sundress showed enough skin, but also highlighted the soft curves along her body. The white sandals were fitting, but didn't appeal to my tastes. Her hair was obviously done up, more body and wave to it than it had earlier.

I allowed her to walk up to the door, before I got out of my car. Slowly, almost like a stalking cat, I walked up behind her, not giving away my presence until my shadow fell over her. I could smell the womanly bouquet of fresh perfume emanate from her, as she jumped and shrieked. "You're early," I calmly commented, looking beyond her to the door, my keys in hand, noticing the painted toenails as I put the key in the door. Leaning over her I am sure she can smell my sweat as it still beads across my face and body.

"Go ahead on in," I offer as I push the door open to grant access. Kat still seemed a bit disoriented and confused, finding me standing behind her, rather than in front of her. She walked into the cool, air conditioned abode, a crisp sixty-seven degres, in sharp contrast to the heat and humidity still lingering outside at this hour. She stood, looking around at the surroundings, relatively bare, white walls and a shining, freshly waxed, impeccably clean, wooden floor. Directly ahead was the living area, quite spacious, but sparsely dotted with furniture. The sofa, chair, and coffee table seemed like dots in the large room. On one wall was a television and stero unit. Along the surrounding shelves were a vast array of music ranging from every genre imaginable: Classical, Folk, Christian, Rock, Pop, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Techno, Easy Listening, Reggae, and many others. On lower shelves, there was an equally vast array of DVD's: Romances, TV Series, Comedies, Action, Drama, Westerns, Documentaries, and too many others to mention. The pristine white carpeted floor, blended with the equally white walls. There was a sliding glass door off to the side which was covered by vertical white blinds. Off to the right, was an impeccably clean kitchen. The skylight, letting in the warm yellows of the setting sun, giving the otherwise white room a sense of color. It looked as if this was a display home, nothing on the counters, everything put away, not a crumb in sight, and nothing in the sink. At the far end of the living room was a narrow hallway, leading into the only bathroom in the house. On the left side of the hall was a doorway to the master bedroom, rather large and spacious. On the right side were two doors. One led to the spare bedroom whish had been converted into an office. The second door ....

The second door was painted black. The only thing that was out of place in the entire household. Only I knew what lay behind that black door, and it would remain that way, until ... Let's just say that anyone that ventured through that door, came out a changed person. The door was kept locked, however, the silver key that opened it hung from a chain, linked to the door handle.

I shooed Kat into the living room, where she naturally gravitated towards the couch. Glancing down at the coffee table, I saw her notice my latest three issues of 'Maxim' organized perfectly on the right side, and my latest three issues of 'Stuff' of the left. "Make yourself at home," I ordered. "Help yourself to anything in the fridge. I'm gonna get a quick shower and I'll be right back."

Never looking over my shoulder or giving Kat any indication I cared, I disappeared into my bedroom, leaving the door open, stripped naked and waltzed back out into the hallway and into the bathroom. I had hoped Kat saw me, but it didn't matter. Once inside, I left the door ajar, seeing if Kat possessed the same feline curiosity as many of my other conquests.

I started the shower, singing and whistling to myself, a happy tune, knowing that Kat could hear me as clear as day. I stepped into the shower and closed the clear glass cage, the warm steam billowing around me as I showered.

I stared at the front of the house, trying to discern some trace of movement or sound within the house as I waited. There was none. I glanced at my watch. Five minute rule, Kat. If he doesn't show in five minutes you're free to g...

"You're early." I must have jumped twenty feet in the air. I hadn't heard him approach me at all. I thought he must have already been home for awhile, not just getting home like....this. I wrinkled my nose distastefully as I noticed the perspiration that dotted his face and body. I had taken the time to dress nicely and he was...well...sweaty. Not that there was anything wrong with that in a different situation, but in this case it seemed odd. Maybe he actually hadn't planned on me arriving and that is why he hadn't had time to dress. I felt a little silly about that. Maybe I wasn't really supposed to have showed up.

But he let me in, reaching across me, letting me smell his man smell...the smell of sweat and remnants of his cologne and...something else. I stepped into his house meekly, feeling rather shy. The house was freezing and I was glad that I had thought to brought my sweater. Pulling it around me I began observing his house. I noticed the cleanliness of the place. We had housekeepers when I lived at home and none had managed to keep the house looking as pristine as his was. It was truly incredible. While I knew he was meticulous about some things I wasn't sure that this would carry over into his personal life, but yet it seemed to. I took a walked further in, noticing the sound my sandals made with each step.

My eyes darted across the room, trying to take it all in, noticing the sheer quantity of media that owned. There would never be a dull moment for him; there would always be something new to watch or listen to. I felt him behind me, moving me farther in. We entered the living room where I sat down on the couch, feeling a bit strange, the reality sinking in that this wasn't a joke and I really *was* at his house.

"Make yourself at home," he said, his words addressing me the only indication that he realized I was there in the house with him. "Help yourself to anything in the fridge. I'm gonna get a quick shower and I'll be right back." I watched him disappear into one of the doors in the hallway. I had to bite my tongue from making an aloud comment as to his rudeness. But the more I got to know him I realized it wasn't rudeness...he acted with a calculated response to my actions. There was some reason for him to have not taken a shower before my visit. I was honestly a little surprised he hadn't just started to strip in front of me, after the events of earlier in the afternoon in his office. I cocked my head and looked at the neatly arranged magazines on the coffee table. They didn't interest me, at least not now. I stood up a bit from the couch, trying to peek down the hall to see if he was safely in the shower. I wanted to explore a bit and I couldn't very well have him walk in on me. It's a good thing I checked because he wasn't in the shower yet. In fact he was naked, calmly walking from what appeared to be his bedroom into the bathroom. I sunk down in the couch. Oh god, what if he saw me. He hadn't turned around or reacted in a way that would suggest he had seen me. But I most certainly had seen him. All of him. An unfamiliar wetness became pronounced between my legs. He was huge. And he wasn't even particularly erect. I shivered a bit in spite of myself.

I eased my sandals off and began exploring the living room. I didn't want to dirty his carpet and to be honest I liked the feeling of plush carpet underneath my feet. His music and movie collections were awe-inspring but that wasn't what i was looking for. Maybe someday I would take some time to see ifwe shared any tastes in movies or music but right now it wasn't the time. What was I talking about ,someday? I hoped I would never have to be here again...but I knew I would be. Not coerced. But because I wanted to be here.

I searched desperately for some indication of who he was. Pictures. Awards. Diplomas. Anything. And then I realized I had went about this all wrong. I should have started in his bedroom. I shook my head in disgust. I gingerly made my way toward the bathroom into the hallway. I peeked into the bathroom, listening for the water and hearing it I moved toward what had caught my eye in my wanderings. The black door.

I stood in front of it for a moment. It seemed to have some kind of magnetic properties to it as I felt myself drawn to it. And now that I was finally in front of it I had a decision to make. It seemed so out of place. In this immaculate, white, light-filled house....a single black door. His dark side. A dark side he was familiar with and clearly accepted as much as he accepted the other sides of him, the light sides. I would unlock it. I had to. I had to level the playing field..to know something more about him than I did. I quietly slid the chain from the door handle, trying not to make a sound. I moved closer into the bathroom when I realized I could no longer hear the water....

The warm refreshing water from the shower helped clear my mind, helping me concentrate on the one thing that concerned me most at that moment. Kat was somewhere out there, undoubtedly snooping about. She couldn’t resist it. No woman could. It was an inherent trait among women; they had to snoop to satisfy their curiosity. The only thing I silently questioned, occasionally glancing through the steam covered shower glass door, was what was Kat snooping through, or peeking at?

I didn’t catch her standing in the doorway peeking glances, but that wasn’t to say she wasn’t or hadn’t. She could be reusing through the magazines like so many women do, growing envious of the pretty women contained within, dressed in practically nothing. That created competition, which was always a good thing! The movies and music was always a safe thing for them to wander through. Of course, if she had opened the fridge, she’d have found it relatively empty, but clean, and neatly organized. But then again, there was the door! That was a magnet! It was like telling a kid, ‘Do not touch,’ standing in the middle of a candy store.

Well I was about to find out. I turned off the water and stepped from the shower, my dripping wet body, soaking the carpeted mat at my feet. I fetched a clean white towel from the neat stack of towels on the nearby shelf, and began drying off. Keeping the towel wrapped about my head, drying my hair, I yelled out, “Hey Katherine?”

I waited, listening through the silence waiting for her reply, keeping the towel about my head. I figured if she’d look to see where the sound was coming from she’d get an eyeful, if she hadn’t already. Also, based on where the sound of her reply originated from, I might be able to determine where she was within the house. It took a while, a seemingly long while for her to respond; raising MY curiosity. Finally I heard her reply, but I couldn’t quite figure out where she was.

“Under the phone in the kitchen is a phone book. Call the local Chinese place and have them deliver please. Order what you want, I’ll have the General Tso’s Chicken with fried rice.” I hadn’t eaten and I was hungry. I wasn’t sure about Kat, but it would provide enough distraction for me to begin my further analysis of her and see if she was truly going to be a prime subject for my amusement.

I dropped the towel and looked about, wrapping the towel about my waist as I stepped forward into the hallway. Something was different, but I couldn’t tell what, just yet. I turned and entered the bedroom, plopping down on the four-poster bed, trying to decide what I should wear. I could feel my arousal starting to grow once again, the mere thought of having Kat so near, exciting me, even as I tried to dismiss it.

It was my place, my kingdom, and my castle, so I decided to be comfortable. Despite Kat’s very nice, womanly appearance, I was not going to make myself uncomfortable in my place. Besides, I had been in that damn monkey suit all day. It was my turn to dress down. I picked out a pair of loose fitting designer jogging sweats, all black with dual silver racing stripes down the sides. A simple tee shirt would have been fitting, but given the company, I chose a silvery polo that clung to me, much like the coaching shirt had. I ran my hands through my hair, loosely combing them into place. I doused myself with a bit of Axe, liking the scent it gave off, and stood.. I tossed the damp towel into the nearby hamper along with the dirty clothes from before. I chuckled to myself, reminding myself I needed to find someone quick, for I hated doing laundry.

I came out of the bedroom and spotted Kat leaning over the counter, finishing up, placing the order. She looked up and our eyes locked …

I had been lucky this time. Well, at least so far. Thank goodness I had realized he was out of the shower before I unlocked the black door. It wouldn't have been pretty if I had been discovered. Instead I had quickly tossed the key back over the door knob and scurried into the kitchen acting as if I was looking for something to drink. I didn't really care what was in his refrigerator; so long as it was food nothing in that realm could have intrigued me. Now if there was smoething else in there, something that typically you wouldn't find in there I would have been interested. But alas, nothing.

I shut the door in disgust. I had nearly his entire house to rummage through to try to get some clue as to who he really was and I knew nothing more now than before I had stepped inside. I took last one fleeting look in the kitchen, making sure I was missing nothing before I began walking toward the living room.

"Hey Katherine?" Although I knew he was out of the shower the sound of his voice still startled me. As did his use of my real first name. He had always called me Kat before. I didn't know if I was supposed to go to him or merely reply. I paused for a minute, almost frozen, wondering what to do. Calling back seemed so informal and he wasn't like that. Yet again going to see him when I knew very well he was naked or semi-naked wasn't a good idea either. I finally called back to him, my voice soft yet strong and able to be heard by him all the way into the bathroom.

"Under the phone in the kitchen is a phone book. Call the local Chinese place and have them deliver please. Order what you want, I'll have the General Tso's Chicken with fried rice." I turned around and walked back into the kitchen, sliding the phone book out from under the phone. I flipped it open, searching for the little Chinese place that I knew did deliveries around this area. Thank goodness they had a menu in their advertisement because I would have had no idea what to order. I somehow didn't think he would be impressed if I ordered fortune cookies for myself for dinner.

But then again, I had really done nothing to impress him so far, had I? I did poorly on the test, even worse on the oral exam, and daydreamed through class. He didn't need to know that my daydreaming was always about him. How what I had seen today in his office would provide hotter, longer burning fuel for those dreams. I could still see in my mind the bulge in his pants underneath his black slacks...I wouldn't ever be able to get it out of my mind. The way he treated me...the strange way that intrigued me and seemed to draw me closer and closer to him...more daydream material.

I thought about him now as he must look fresh from the shower. His body still damp and glistening, the clean smell of his soap and cologne, the softness of his skin over the firmness of his body. His hard, sculpted body. I shook my head. I had to stop thinking of this. Yet I couldn't. He had captured my attention with his mind and body. Despite my brain's fevered messages to take a cold shower my body desired the company of his.

I picked up the phone, putting my thoughts aside for a minute and concentrating on the task he had for me. I skimmed the menu, finally deciding on sweet and sour chicken and dialed the number. As I was nearly finished he emerged from the hallway. My eyes locked with his and for a minute I totally blanked and was only brought back to reality by the voice on the other end of the phone. "Are you still there, did you need anything else?"

I jumped a little, moving my eyes from him. "No, thank you, that's all. Thirty minutes? Perfect, thank you." I hung up the phone, eager to give my eyes a chance to drink him in again. "Oh god," I whispered under my breath. He looked so incredibly hot. I'm always pretty shy around guys, but usually when they are this attractive I go hide in the other room. But I couldn't now. I couldn't even move. I could just stare. "They said thirty minutes." Wow, Kat, way to form a complete sentence. My face flushed. I felt a gush of wetness between my legs and a warmth that quickly spread through my entire body.

Our eyes had locked, and I could tell I had her undivided attention. I barely caught her saying something about the food being here in thirty minutes. I was too busy watching the lips move as she spoke the words, imagining them working their way over my cock as she obediently suckled on the straining pole that was obviously tenting my jogging sweats. I walked towards her, down the hallway, past the spare bedroom door.

That's when I noticed it! I knew something had to be different! There it was, directly in front of me! The skeleton key, attached to the chain on the black door, was facing in the opposite direction it was specifically set in. The face of the key always pointed out, the tumbler teeth always facing the bathroom. The key was facing the other way.

I looked up, flashing Kat a questioning glance, without saying a word, but silently letting her know that it would be hard to hide things from me. I looked back to the key and reached down turning th key back to its proper position. Glancing back up towards Kat, I could see a sudden redness color her face, the look of a kid caught, with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar. I however, didn't have to say a word, for she now knew, I knew. I watched as the bottom lip got sucked into her mouth, her teeth clamping nervously down upon the soft flesh, gnawing it as she fretted the outcome of her discovered curiosity.

Nearing Kat, I glanced around the living room, the coffee table in particular, noting that the magazines had not piqued her interest ... yet! I brushed by her on my way to the fridge, purposefully letting our bodies graze each other, to see if she felt the electricity I wanted her to feel. I wanted to see how comfortable she was, being so close to me in a more casual atmosphere, outside of the college atmosphere. Predictably she jumped, a stifled gasp was heard as I excused myself, going straight to the fridge. Ignoring her frozen, almost comatose, state, I reached in fetching two cold beers. "Half hour, huh?" I finally replied knowing we had some time to kill and set up preliminaries.

Closing the refrigerator, I walked by her statue-frame, into the living room towards the only furniture in there. "C'mon; have a seat," I ordered as I popped the two cans, taking a seat in the smaller single seat, leaving the sofa for Kat to settle in. I looked back towards the kitchen to see her still standing there, almost in a dazed state, a doe caught by the car's headlights, frozen in its tracks. "Kat!" My voice barked once again, forcing her to snap out of her catatonic state, realizing I had been talking to her. "Cmon; have a seat," I repeated, this time a bit more irritation in my voice for having to repeat myself.

As she crossed to move into the sofa, I held out the opened beer, for her to take before she sat down. "Here! Have a drink and relax!" She settled down before taking the beer, so I set it upon the table in front of her.

Leaning back into the chair I commented on her charming appearance. "That's a very nice outfit. It's more appropriate for a lady. It's better than what you were wearing before, but I'm sure you can do better than that for class tomorrow, right?"

I knew I had caught her off-guard! It was the last thing she had expected to hear at that point. Kat would soon learn to expect that from me. She would learn to never expect anything, for I would always do things that contradicted what she expected. The only thing she would learn to expect, would be to expect the unexpected!

Before giving Kat a chance to even comment on my assssment of her attire, I dove right into the reason for her being here. "Kat? We have some time before the food comes. Why don't we start with the problems you had brought up in my office earlier today? How do you think you can deal with a part of you that you don't understand at all? How do you currently handle the fact that you have no idea where it comes from and why it is there? Tell me about the part that seems foreign, unidentifiable; that part you can hardly believe came from the same place as the rest of you?"

I threw the same words she used earlier, right back at her. It was a common psychological approach, forcing subjects to answer their own questions, beginning the soul searching necessary to expose those hidden feelings and emotions. I sat back and awaited her response now, finally giving her, her first opportunity to really talk to me since we had arrived.

Katherine

He knew. He knew about the door. Oh god, he knew. I was such an idiot. Typically I was extremely detail oriented, meticulous almost. I proofread everything I wrote at least twice, I doubled checked my answers on tests, I was usually careful to put things back exactly as I had found them. Yet this...a glaring example of my inattention to detail that had found me out. And of course he could see it. And he was correcting it, in front of my eyes. Letting me know he knew. A small detail. Yet he was paying attention. He was paying attention to everything.

My face flushed as I watched him turn the key back to its correct position. What would happen now? He would assume I had been snooping in there. I wanted to correct him, I wanted to say that I really hadn't been in there before he assumed the worst. I didn't want to anger him. I truly didn't want to jeopardize this chance I had to improve my grade as well as the chance I had to explore a yet unidentified part of my being. Did I assert my innocence, guilty only of being tempted to snoop but not actually going through with it? He didn't need to know that my only deterrent was that I heard that he was no longer in the shower. I closed my mouth, my teeth pressing down on my full bottom lip. What would happen now? What would he do to me? I was absolutely terrified and yet strangely excited at the prospect of the unknown.

I watched him as he approached me, his eyes scanning the room looking for more signs of my snooping, no doubt. But truly that was the only place I had been snooping so I relaxed a bit. That is until he continued toward me, and then past me, his body brushing up against mine, sending tiny pins of electricity into every nerve of my body. I tried to firm myself against the sparks but it was futile as I felt myself visibly shudder. He must think I am truly a strange girl. How I freeze and react so strangely to being near him. But I couldn't help it. He was so attractive in every way to me...physically, mentally, and sexually; that newly discovered yet restrained part of me that reacted so unusually strong to him. And I must be having some effect on him, as well. For I noticed the bulge in his jogging sweats. Or at least I thought I did. I had been doing my best to keep my eyes off that particularly appealing part of his anatomy.

I stood silent, watching him take the two beers from the refrigerator. The cool air that escaped from the fridge seemed to worsen the goose bumps that had already emerged on my body. I caught his smell once again, and it seemed like it turned on a switch within my body, as I felt wetness begin to pool between my legs. I watched him as he made his way into the living room, oblivious to the invitation he had extended to me to join him. My mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about what plans he had for me. How I hoped that they involved taking care of a particularly distracting ache that had been my companion since almost the first day of class. "Kat!" His voice shattered my thoughts and caused me to jump. "C'mon; have a seat." I sensed the irritation in his voice. I lowered my head and hurried into the living room. To know he was mad at me, irritated with me, disappointed in me...right now it seemed like those were the things I would do anything in my power to prevent.

I hurriedly made my way to the couch and sat down, trying to ignore his offer of the beer. I pulled my legs up beneath me and then sat on my side a bit, leaning a bit on the armrest of the couch. I assessed my position and while truly not what my mother would consider ladylike, my legs *were* together and that was really all I needed to be concerned with at this time. I couldn't see sitting up with my legs crossed, it seemed so formal. He set the beer in front of me on the table anyway. I was sure that at some point I would be drinking it. I was sure that at some point I would probably end up doing whatever he wished me to do.

"That's a very nice outfit. It's more appropriate for a lady. It's better than what you were wearing before, but I'm sure you can do better than that for class tomorrow, right?" My mouth must have dropped to the ground. Better? Better than this? Well of course I would. That is if I knew...if I knew what he expected of me. But I looked so nice. So ladylike. So feminine. And it was only "very nice." How could I improve this? I opened my mouth to ask him, and I guess I half expected him to expect a reply from me but he continued right on, not giving me a chance to speak. I closed my mouth, a little defeated. But not for long. For as quickly as he had cut me off he was now giving me a chance to speak. I wasn't particularly looking forward to speaking with him about me, but if I remembered correctly it was the reason for my visit to his home.

I looked down at my sundress and pulled my sweater a little tighter around me. I almost began by saying something about dressing for class tomorrow but I decided that I best do all I could to please him, and in this case I was sure it meant to answer him honestly the quesitons he was asking me. "I hope you don't think I'm trying to flatter you, but you are kind of at the root of all this." I look up at him before continuing, memorizing his face and his neck and his shoulders...and my body responds, the wetness between my legs growing almost too uncomfortable to bear. "Up until I took your class I never was really distracted by a boy, I mean, a man in your case." I can tell from your eyes that you will not be satisfied or pleased by a simple glossing over of the truth. I need to be explicit, painfully explicit. "I've always been wrapped up in school and my own self that I really never noticed guys and while I'm not stranger to what goes on between them I never really let myself get caught up in that kinda thing. If I need to take care of something I do, by myself. It's less complicated that way."

I pause and clasp my hands together, trying to collect my thoughts before I continue. "I...I...I don't know how to tell you this and I don't even know if I should. But...I know you want honesty and the only way I can ever help myself is if I'm honest...not only with you, but with myself. So I'll just say it. And if I'm out of line just tell me and deal with me however you need to. But ever since your class started..I...I'm aware of this part of me that I had never known was there before. She watches you in class when she should be paying attention to lecture. She fantasizes about you at night when she should be sleeping. She touches herself..." I say this last part almost inaudibly. "She freezes when you're around her. She wants to know you...intimately. She's willing to miss her other classes to be around you." Of all of the revelations that one was the hardest to admit. For he was interfering with my other passions and the knowledge of that troubled me immensely.

"But your older. No, not like that, I just mean that I should be having similiar feelings for someone my own age. But, I've never had these kind of feelings for anybody. And what scares me the most...it really does...is that I almost feel like I would grant you anything..." I pause. I had gone too far. He didn't need to know that. "Well, almost." There, hopefully I had saved myself, at least a little. "I tried to ignore it, I thought without my attention this would all go away. That as soon as the semester was over and I had an A in your class I would be done with you forever and sometime in the future I would entertain similiar feelings for a boy my own age. And we would get married and have babies and live a happy little life." I looked down, feeling my eyes tearing up a bit. "But I know now that I can't have that kind of life, I don't want that kind of life...I want something darker, I want something more intense, more passionate... I want to feel this...but I don't want to feel this, I'm not supposed to want to feel this...this...hunger for you...this need for you to...to...to just take me and use me and make you happy with me..."

I squirmed on the sofa a bit. I should have brought an extra pair of panties with me as these were soaked. I felt so dirty. So slutty. I had never felt like this before. I wondered if I ever would with anyone else again. I looked down at the pretty pale blue of my dress and waited for him to speak.

Wow! While those were the words I had wanted to evoke from Kat, I hadn't expected to hear them so quickly, so pointedly, and so honestly. Either she was toying with me to give her an 'A' in the class, or she was truly throwing herself at me, at my feet. While I had planned on creating an elaborate scheme to bring Kat around to this point, I hadn't quite planned on what I would do after this point. It was I, now, that was caught off guard.

The idea, nor the practice, was any different than in years gone by. I've had my share of students, but Kat was different, so far. She intrigued me, as much as I apparently did her. Kat had divulged an awfully huge amount of personal information within that extremely short span of time. It made me wonder, what part made her do that? Was it the physical attraction? Could it have been the way I teased her with my nakedness? Could it be due to my attention to detail, especially noting the key to the black door? Or, was it simply the sheer power I portrayed, overwhelming her?

I stertched, raising my arms above my head, inhaling deeply, letting everything absorb into me as I considered my next move. I reached for my can of beer and gripped it and held it. I kept my gaze upon Kat, never saying a word, just staring into those eyes; waiting, waiting for her to read my mind, waiting for her to grab her can of beer and join me in a drink. Eventually, she either picked up my silent signal, or realized the awkward moment. Kat stretched her slim hand to the table and grabbed her can, and drak from it, as did I, from mine.

Tonight, I would not settle, until Kat had consumed at least three or more beers. I kept mine within my grip, watching as Kat did the same; easier to hold and sip, than constantly reach to the table for a drink. I didn't know if she was nervous, or an accomplished drinker; but, Kat had guzzled nearly half the beer at that initial tilt.

I curled up on my chair, mimicking her posture somewhat, tucking only one leg beneath me as I shifted and sat facing Kat. I drew in one more lung filled with fresh air before my, seemingly practiced and rehearsed, script flowed from my mouth.

"Kat? I've been approached by many a student willing to do special assignments, extra credit reports, assist with grading, and so on, all in an effort to weasel in on my favors, earning themselves, either preferential treatment in class, or that time honored marker of success, an 'A' in my course. If that is what you are seeking, then I have no other option than to turn you into the Dean of Student Affairs. It would appear to me, especially given your poor performance on your first test, that you have manipulated your favors upon all your teachers, earning you the academic record you have to this point."

I could see the utter fear and disappointment cross her face. Kat's eyes were visibily welling, though she refused to cry, as I belittled her revelation. That in and of itself, spoke volumes to me. It showed me, without any comment from her, that Kat was indeed telling the truth. She was distraught with my reaction, yet I had to protect my professional career, just in case she was a plant, a snitch, or a slutty student that whored her way through graduation.

Before the tears cascaded down her cheek, I continued on, giving her that glimpse of acknowledgement, she was desperately hanging on. "However, ..." I paused long enough, giving Kat a chance to realize she hadn't breathed, watching her inhale a fresh refill of air. "If what you say is the honest truth, we have some difficult issues to contend with, both, academically and personally."

I could see the change in demeanor immediately. I contemplated asking her pointedly, which it was, but decided to play along for a bit. "You know, Kat? This is a unique situation for me." I lied. There was no need for her to know the truth now. Maybe later, I would divulge my true past to her, but for now, it was best kept to myself. "I'm not quite sure how to respond to that." Once again, I lied. I held up the beer for her to eye once more, reminding her that she was still holding onto one also. "I think we're both gonna need another one of these." I guzzled the remaining golden amber, letting it wash over my taste buds, watching as she did the same, making some faces as she did. "Please get me another one, and get another for yourself," I ordered as I held out my empty for her to take back to the kitchen.

My words were carefully chosen without being overtly obvious. It wasn't a request. It was a demand, an order, an expectation laid out for her to follow and obey. Kat did not disappoint me either, for she rose to her feet, taking my empty, returning with two new cold beers, one of which was for me. Once again, she settled upon her spot on the couch.

There was a bit of silence that ensued, forced by my intentional stare, making sure she was not fabricating her opening revelation. "Kat! You are a bright, young, energetic student, with a lot of potential ahead of you. Ever since the first day of class, I was piqued by why a senior would take my freshman class. I made it a point to find out about you, realizing what a bright student you were. But I also realized, there was a lot missing from your file also. There is absolutely no extracurricular activities that you had participated in while at college. That tells me one of two things. Either you are a bookworm with no social life, or you have a secret life outside of college, that you wish no one to find out about, and that, that life consumes all of your time outside of classes."

I continued on my traditional diatribe of the benefits of college and college life. "College is much more than learning from books. There is lots to be learned from teachers and your peers alike. College is a life learning experience. It teaches us how to deal with everyday issues that we will face when we are in the real world. It teaches us how to not only elate in the successes, but also how to deal with the failures that will undoubtedly challenge us from time to time."

Now was the time to lay the hammer down. "Kat. I honestly, don't believe you've learned anything about life! Yeah, you know that two plus two equals four, and that water is comprised of hydrogen and oxygen, and that the world orbits around the sun. But you haven't learned a damn thing about how to fail, how to lose, how to fear, and how to love. You've run from the truth whenever it hits you in the face, and you crawl into your shell when confronted, surrounding yourself in your books of knowledge. You need to grow up and be a woman. The little girl is gone! No more talking of her like she's some other person. It's you Kat! It's you!"

I stopped, breathed deeply and took another healthy swig, staring intently as Kat hid her quivering lips behind the rim of the can she held close to her face. "Kat! If this is what you want, know that I don't want a sniveling little girl. You are right that there is an age difference between us. That should not make a difference, but I refuse to be a babysitter! You already know I am a demanding professor. Outside of the classroom, I am no different. I know what I like, and I am not willing to change. You will adapt to my standards, and you will obey by my rules. I am not an easy person to deal with when I am upset; my football players can tell you that!"

My calculated speech was drawing to a close but I had to instill one last final backbreaker into this whole calculation. "Kat! You have alot to learn. I guarantee you that your final year here as a senior will not be sufficient for you to learn what you need to. While your successes in academics are duly noted, you have failed on the most important class, that of 'Life.' You will return to being a freshman in that respect. You will follow my curriculum, and follow it to a 'T', and only pass, when I have said you passed."

I knew that would break her back. But I didn't want to waste my time with her for one year, and have her gone. If I was going to take her in, it was going to be long term. A minimum of four years would be needed with Kat, after that, only Kat would be able to determine where her future lay.

The proverbial ball was now in her court. It was hers to do with as she saw fit. I had laid out my terms. The warning lights were blinking, and I had removed her blinders. She was going to 'see' everything from this point forward.

I sipped from my beer again, then finished my initial speech. "Think carefully of what it is you seek. The only thing I will say is that in life, you will learn that you will only be happy if you follow your body's instincts and not your heart's for what makes you feel good; and, follow your heart, and not your head, for what makes you feel complete. The decision is yours. Do you feel as if what I say is correct? Do you agree with everything I have said? Do you agree you need to grow up and be a woman? Do you agree that you really know nothing about life and need to start over and learn all there is to learn? Tell me, Kat?"

I sat back and awaited her response, looking at the cogs turning within her as she shifted constantly, always fidgeting about as if she had ants in her pants (but of course she wasn't wearing any). There seemed to be an extremely long period of silence as she formulated her thoughts, only to be interrupted by the knocking on the door. "DELIVERY," some young male voice cried through the door.

"Be right there," I yelled back, not moving an inch from my spot. "What will it be Kat? Yes or No?"

Kat

I waited for him to say something, but I knew he was a Master at this...he knew what to say and do and when...and I was absolutely sure he knew of his effect on me. I couldn't quite place what exactly was driving me to pour out my soul to him. All the hidden and denied thoughts, choked off by fear, pride, and...well, mostly fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of letting go. Fear of...living.

But why him? What was about it him that allowed him to reach into my soul and rip out all of the thoughts I couldn't articulate until now? It couldn't just be a hot guy thing. Usually that just paralyzed me with fear. I was getting pretty good at dealing with that though because usually the guys that were nice looking wouldn't be interested in a girl like me anyway. So I had no reason to talk to them unless it was due to some loathed group assignment I was assigned. His...power? But what really was power anyway? I wasn't sure. My parents had not the same power as he did. They couldn't get inside my mind like he could and force me, but in a gentle and led manner, to let go for once. To open myself up. For rejection. For humiliation. For the unknown element. But yet I felt safe, like he wouldn't do any of those things to me.

The waiting was killing me. I wanted him to respond with every fiber of being. Either expose me to what I've always come to expect or expose me to something I've only dreamed of in the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind. He simply grabbed his can of beer and stared at me. It seemed like an eternity. Say something, please, please. I realized I hadn't touched my drink. Perhaps he wished me to join him. I didn't like beer though. I really didn't like alcohol in general and I most certainly had never been drunk before. Still, I wouldn't mind something to take the edge off as I was incredibly tense. I reached for my drink, happy that it was still cold, a bit of condensation had formed on the can. I cool liquid felt like heaven on my throat and I greedily consumed it, barely tasting it in my desire to drink all that I could as quickly as I could. I wrinkled my nose a bit as I tasted a bit of it in my mouth. I must look like lush, guzzling it like that. I looked down, slightly embarrassed, stifling a burp.

He moved in his chair, taking nearly the same position I had taken and finally he spoke the most hurtful words. I wasn't seeking preferential treatment. I was simply willing to do what was expected of me in order to preserve my GPA. I was willing to *earn* the A by studying more and actually paying attention in class. But he hadn't let me. It was at his directive that I was even here tonight. If anyone would be in trouble it was him. But was I willing to take that chance? It was my word against his. And even if I was found innocent of trying to manipulate him sometimes people still believe you're guilty. I didn't need that on my record. How could he do that? I thought...well it didn't matter what I thought now. He had humiliated me. I thought maybe...no I couldn't cry. No, no, no. My eyes betrayed me, beginning to tear up. I looked down, not giving him the chance to see me cry.

But before I felt the hot tears flow from my eyes he began to speak again. "However..." I looked up eagerly, sniffling a bit, and taking a deep breath. "If what you say is the honest truth, we have some difficult issues to contend with, both, academically and personally." It was. More honest than I had meant it to be. "You know, Kat? This is a unique situation for me. I'm not quite sure how to respond to that." He held the beer up, brining it to my attention and all at once I realized I was still holding on to it. "I think we're both gonna need another one of these." He was trying to get me drunk. I watched as he finished his up and figured I best do the same. Besides it didn't taste near as bad if you guzzled it. It burnt your throat a bit but I could live with that brief sensation. "Please get me another one, and get another for yourself." I didn't want another beer and I wasn't his maid but in spite of this I dutifully took the empty can from his outstretched hand and and walked into kitchen. I returned with two cold beer cans, handing him his first before I sat back down on the couch, assuming my earlier position.

I knew he was not finished and so I waited for him to speak, wanting to draw my eyes away from his stare yet unable to. Finally he began to speak again. The words seemed to blur together. I had a lot of potential. He had studied up on me. He knew I had no life or a secret life. Yeah, secret life. I was a co-ed call girl. Yeah, that's me. And then he went on and on about colleges and life and the real world. I had heard it all before. No one in my family understood my connection with academics, why I favored books to people and homework to parties. They were also encouraging me to step outside my walls of books and grow as a person in all ways. Yeah, yeah. I had heard that before. But his next words shook me like an earthquake. "Kat. I honestly, don't believe you've learned anything about life! Yeah, you know that two plus two equals four, and that water is comprised of hydrogen and oxygen, and that the world orbits around the sun. But you haven't learned a damn thing about how to fail, how to lose, how to fear, and how to love. You've run from the truth whenever it hits you in the face, and you crawl into your shell when confronted, surrounding yourself in your books of knowledge. You need to grow up and be a woman. The little girl is gone! No more talking of her like she's some other person. It's you Kat! It's you!"

He couldn't be right in his assessment of me, he just couldn't. I had surely grew and learned in college. Everyone commented on that. Well, professors anyway. But I lived alone. I ate dinner alone. I was, for the most part, alone, surrounded by books. If I wasn't studying I was reading everything from Charlotte Bronte to Dostoevsky. But was I happy like this? Could I see myself living like this forever? Could I live contentedly and happily...could I really live? He finished his oration leaving me visibly shaken. His words echoed in my mind. "I know what I like, and I am not willing to change. You will adapt to my standards, and you will obey by my rules. I am not an easy person to deal with when I am upset; my football players can tell you that!"

Obey his rules? I was an adult! A grown woman. I didn't "obey" anyone anymore. And I couldn't believe he had the gall to say what he said next. "I guarantee you that your final year here as a senior will not be sufficient for you to learn what you need to. While your successes in academics are duly noted, you have failed on the most important class, that of 'Life.' You will return to being a freshman in that respect. You will follow my curriculum, and follow it to a 'T', and only pass, when I have said you passed." I had to "obey" him to pass his class, for him to allow me to move on with my life. A class which I'm sure I would have got an A in, thank you very much.

He concluded his diatribe. "Tell me, Kat?" What could I tell him? He probably knew what was going on in my mind anyway, maybe not all of it but certainly a majority of it. Do I need to grow up and be a woman? I had to be honest with myself, brutally honest. I did. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right, I really did. But I didn't know how and I was scared, so terribly scared. And he was right about the starting over, too. I needed to do that. I had built up to many walls, harbored so many bad memories...I really needed to wipe my slate clean and start over. If he could help me. If he could be gentle and sensitive enough to allow me to grow, little steps then bigger and bigger...and if...it was too much to think about that he may help me grow in other areas, as well.

I found him physically and sexually attractive and while I had done it once (big mistake) I knew that it had to be better than that. And I knew that he could bring me to heights of ecstasy I hadn't imagined or heard about before. My body responded to the naughty thoughts in my mind, and I felt the uncomfortable wetness in my panties build. But I wanted him to help me become a woman in all areas. Maybe that is why I found him so attractive and desirable to me...him in the aggregate.

I sat quietly for a minute, overwhelmed. I shivered and shifted a bit as the wetness continued and it was making it very difficult for me to concentrate and gather my thoughts. I opened my mouth to start speaking when I realized that the delivery guy was here. I was thankful for what I thought would bring me a reprieve. But it did not. He continued to look at me, clearly waiting for my response.

"Yes," I said as I nodded my head slightly. "Yes."

“Yes!” She had said, “Yes!” She really couldn’t have said anything else, because it was the truth. She was a little girl trapped in her young adult body, refusing to let go, always feeling safe in the sanctity of her sheltered world; the world that revolved around her. I could tell she had been shaken, totally caught off guard by my insightful analysis, and we hadn’t even really begun the session, she had come here for. Yet, given her open honesty, and blunt statement of how she felt about me, it was evident that she had other things on her mind also. We both wanted the same thing, but her vision was painted in much prettier pastels of pinks, yellows and light blues, while mine was in blacks, burgundies, and purples. She really had no clue of my world, and when she does find out, her eyes will be much wider than they are now!

I could see the uneasiness in her facial expressions, but her fidgeting was telling me something totally different. Something about the way she constantly played with the hem of her dress, pulling it down, trying to hide something, told me volumes. Kat was melting! She was melting right before my eyes and I knew it! I could sense it as my eyes never relented from the strong staring grip they had on her, her eyes constantly darting away, unable to look me directly in the eyes. I knew I had mood eyes, eyes that changed colors from steel grey to green, to bright blue, and when angry an orange ring around the pupils would flare wider. Over time, Kat would know my moods, simply by looking into my eyes, but right now, the steel grey color was intently taking in every detail it could assimilate.

If I was going to take Kat in, and make her part of my world, now was the time to do it. She was ripe for picking, and ready to be eaten alive, a notion that caused a lurid image to flash in my mind. Now was the time to begin instilling those traits within her that I expected from her at all times. If I were going to take her in, she would do things my way from this point forward! I immediately knew what needed to be done. The most basic aspects of life with me needed to be followed from this point forward. The approach though was going to be a little sugar coated, seeing how she reacted to each aspect as I presented it.

First and foremost, though, was, “Food!” I clapped my hands together, rubbing them as a smile crossed my face, hearing Kat’s affirmative reply. She agreed and was willing to submit to my leadership. “Good,” I announced, as I rose from my seat and started heading back to the bedroom. “Get the door, and let him in,” I shouted as I disappeared into my room, fetching some bills out of my wallet. As I returned to the living room, I saw Kat standing with the delivery boy, a rather young looking lad, maybe a few years younger than Kat, and suddenly realized that I knew him. “Michael?”

His eyes lit up when he saw me. “Mr. Pollard … um … I didn’t know …”

Michael was a freshman student in the same psych class that Kat was in. “You working at the restaurant for extra money?” He said he was, and that it didn’t interfere with his studies or his social life. I nodded as I looked to Kat without saying a word, but nodding as if to say, ‘see what I mean?’

I had to cover for Kat now, without making things seem too obvious. “You know Kat, here? She’s a student in the same class as you. It seems as if she’s having difficulty in the course. You got an ‘A’ on that last test, didn’t you? Maybe you could help Kat sometimes?” His eyes seemed to look her over, lingering on her body a little longer than would normally be appropriate. I could see his eyes light up with a tiny sparkle as certain ideas began to be painted in his mind.

I could tell Kat was utterly embarrassed by the whole situation, yet she would have to learn to deal with the consequences of being seen with me. She would also have to learn that there was a purpose behind everything that I did. She did not need to know or worry about what that purpose was. Her only objective would be to do as I said and please me as I wanted to be pleased!

I interrupted Michael’s obvious undressing of Kat, with his eyes, handing him the bills, telling him to keep the change. I ushered Michael out of the door, leaving Kat holding the bag, wondering where she should go.

That was the perfect opportunity I was looking for. I moved to the large couch, where Kat was sitting earlier, though I sat directly in the middle, not really leaving any space for Kat unless she wedged herself right next to me. “Bring the food here,” I said, grabbing the bag from her as she handed it to me. I moved my beer from the end of the table to directly in front of me, and slid hers directly opposite of me, to the open side of the table. I took out the food and placed my meal in front of me and her food on the other side. I laid the packaged chopsticks next to each package. “C’mon, let’s eat. I’m starved.”

There was obviously no place for Kat to sit, other than the floor. “Go ahead, sit down,” I said as I motioned to the floor in front of me. I ripped open the chopsticks, snapped them apart and wedged them into my hand with practiced ease. I wasted no time digging into the food, watching the mix of emotions cross Kat’s face. There was a lot about Kat that I was going to find out right now! It may have looked as if I was just eating, but this was every bit part of her psychological evaluation, as well as my evaluation for her fitness to fit into my role that I had set for her, within my mind.

Kat

A simple one-syllable answer. That was all I had to say. Yet it had taken all of my will and strength and honesty and vulnerability to admit it and begin to seek what perhaps I had always been seeking. I was frightened for a minute just then, a bit of the unknown, thinking back to the black door in a sea of white. I was sure that there was another side to him that I had never seen but I knew that someday my eyes would be opened. And I was a bit shaken by the way that I had answered; my voice soft yet assured. Yes. No confusion. No “Ummmm;” just a clean yes. That I had answered yes, giving myself to him as an object to be molded, toyed with; whatever he wished at that particular moment. And I had already begun to do that, almost immediately in fact. Visiting his house, fetching beer for him, placing the take out order simply because he asked me to. I was vulnerable to a man that I really didn’t know…all I know is he had an intoxicating aura about him; like I was a moth drawn to a flame. But why, why was I responding…sexually? He had never said anything overly provocative, yet his manner warmed my body like a hot shower. As he stared at me I couldn’t stand to look at him for if he could meet my eyes I felt like he could stare into my very soul and I was a bit afraid of that. Exposed.

I pulled my at my dress, trying to cover more of myself, feeling almost naked in his presence. He couldn't see, he couldn't know the way my lower body was reacting to him. I couldn't let my hem go, it was like my security blanket; my last flimsy shred of innocence, disinterest, and asexuality. Trying to cover me. Trying to cover a lust that overwhelmed my body. It was futile on my part as I'm sure he knew. I was overwhelmed by all of this. Just earlier today I had been in a completely safe, comfortable word. I had gained considerable insight in just these few minutes and it was a lot for me to digest. He jarred me from my deep introspection by clapping his hands together as he indicated that he was ready to get the food from the delivery boy. Again my better judgment I followed his order like I was in boot camp or something. Not questioning. Just following orders. Maybe I liked the structure.

I went to the front door and opened it, immediately realizing that I had seen the delivery boy before. I knew most of my peers in my program and I knew he was not one of them. That only left one place where I could know him from. Psych 101. I was hoping he wouldn't recognize me as I was dressed a lot nicer than I dressed for class. I heard Professor Pollard's steps behind me and quickly took the bag and stepped to the side. He recognized the kid, too. I silently pleaded that he would not call attention to me, that he would not embarrass me. I had a reputation, a good one I had earned from three years of hard work. All this was in jeopardy now. I listened, quiet as a mouse, as he spoke with Michael (I hadn't known his name prior to his conversation with Professor Pollard).

"You working at the restaurant for extra money?" I knew where he was going with this. My suspicions were confirmed when he nodded and looked at me. My face immediately flushed, while Michael was young he was certainly mature enough to pick up on his professor's meaning. “You know Kat, here? She’s a student in the same class as you. It seems as if she’s having difficulty in the course. You got an ‘A’ on that last test, didn’t you? Maybe you could help Kat sometimes?” Had I EVER been this humiliated before? I didn't need a fucking freshman thinking he could tutor ME. And then I felt Michael's eyes linger on me, leering. I didn't much like guys checking me out and the idea of a younger boy checking me out really repulsed me. I got an A on the test too, dammit. So why didn't he or any of the others have to be privately tutored. What was it about *me* that he had seen. What part of me was so obvious that he could tell or sense what was going through my mind and who I was underneath the walls of books that I had placed between me and the world? Why his special interest in me?

I was thankful when he finally paid Michael and he left. My face was still flushed and I felt like a lost puppy, waiting for his next command. I watched as he made his way to the living room. As I trailed behind him I noticed that he had taken my previous seat. I handed the bag to him, silently wondering where I was to sit. He didn’t seem to be concerned with that as took the boxes out of the bag and positioned them so that I was sitting directly across from him. On the floor. How could I eat on the floor? There was no room beside him and of course I didn’t dare to think of sitting in any other chair which had no table nearby. I stood up for a minute, unsure of what to do. Did he really intend for me to for me to eat on the floor? “Go ahead, sit down,” he said, nodding in the direction of the floor. I kneeled down on the floor wondering how I was going to sit. He would see up my skirt if I sat in my usual style. I should have worn pants. I didn’t know what to do. I moved my body to one side, curling my legs up next to me. It wasn’t the most comfortable position for eating. I smoothed my skirt down a final time, trying to hide as much of me as I could. I opened the container gingerly, worried that I may get something on the floor. I looked over at the chopsticks with a kind of fear and dread. I coached myself. You can do it, Kat. Just watch how he does it. Watch really closely. Try hard to concentrate. I opened the chopsticks, pulling the paper away and snapping them apart. I watched his fingers and how he held them, and brought them to his mouth, trying not to be obvious about it the whole thing. I finally dipped them into my food, debating what to try to pick up first, a small bit of rice or a piece of chicken. I finally decided on the chicken and awkwardly attempted to pick it up with my chopsticks, feeling them slide together as my efforts proved futile. I watched him again. He already knew of my inexperience so what difference did it make if he saw me watch him? Maybe he would respect me more for that, if I chose to try rather than to ask for a fork. I felt my legs cramping up below me. I tried to move them a bit but instead I chose to kneel. It would give me more leverage with the chopsticks, too. Now as long as my knees didn’t hurt I would be fine. I decided to try again, using my other hand a bit to help. I blushed as I felt his eyes on me watching my pathetic fumbling with the chopsticks. Maybe if I tried to stab the chicken with one? That would even look more stupid. I looked up, clearly flustered. My knees hurt. I bit my lip, trying to decide what to do; whether to ask him if I could join him on the couch or fidget around trying to preserve my modesty while sitting on the floor. I concentrated again on the way he held his chopsticks, I couldn't look at him just now.

I considered my dress, particularly the skirt of it. If I were to sit down, Indian style, would it be enough to keep him from seeing my underwear? Could I tuck it between my legs like a skort? Then maybe I could concentrate on using the chopsticks correctly instead of fidgeting. It was just then that I caught his eyes for a brief second.

It was exactly as I had envisioned. Kat’s actions were so predictable, that I could have scripted the events ahead of time. It wasn’t that I was a psychic, but just an excellent judge of character, and my years of psychology allowed me many opportunities to study human behavior. My previous acquaintances had also provided me with varied insightful information. Kat was no different than many of the others that I had acquired during their freshman years, so I decided she would be a freshman, just as the others were before her!

I saw her fidgeting around, trying to decide what a proper sitting position would be. Obviously, sitting Indian style would be inappropriate, given the shortness of her dress, allowing me ample opportunities to glance up her skirt, or even down the top of her dress. Both ideas, however, were quite appealing, and at another time, might be preferred. Right now, though, was just another example of what I needed to instill upon Kat, to reinforce the notion that she had so much to learn still. I needed to make her realize that I was absolutely correct in my analysis, even if it was belittling to her.

She had no clue on how to use the chopsticks. I’m sure she had Chinese food on many occasions, but she never took the opportunity to actually ‘learn’! I knew my words would probably be hurtful, but they needed to be said.

“See what I mean? You don’t even know how to use chopsticks … after all these years of eating Chinese food.” I caught her eyes glancing up to me, and held them once more. “That’s the point I’m trying to make. You have so much to learn, Kat! You are not ready for the world out there! You’ve been sheltered way too long! There are certain things you must learn by doing! There is no book that you can read that will make you know how to handle chopsticks. It’s a lesson in life that everyone your age and background should have been exposed to.” I easily grabbed at a bit of chicken and ate the sauce covered meat, devouring it before shoveling scoopfuls of rice into my mouth. I guzzled some beer, and waited for Kat to do the same. She drank again, the only thing she was comfortable doing at this point.

I placed the beer back down and resumed my analysis while I continued eating, disregarding Kat’s uncomfort at the whole situation. “Have you not ever seen any pictures or movies of Chinese women when they eat?” I saw Kat’s eyes widen, wondering what I was leading to? She blankly nodded.

“They kneel at the table with their hands in their laps, their back straight, and their head lowered. Another lesson in life, Kat! Try it!” I watched Kat’s eyes go even ten times bigger, surprised that I would be instructing her on her posture. She hesitated a bit, but under my glaring stare, she shifted once again and knelt upright. She placed the chopsticks back on the table and placed her hands in her lap, and with resignation, lowered her head.

I sat there and admired her beauty. This was an image I would grow fond of seeing. This was ‘her position,’ the one she would be in the majority of the time, the one where she acknowledged her subservience to me. Right now she did not realize it, but she would!

“That’s it. Much better! Now scoot forward, closer to the table.” Kat obediently followed every command, which I was especially pleased with. She would need to learn to follow my orders to the letter. She was kneeling upright, but needed minor modifications. “Pull your shoulders back.” Kat did, and her luscious breasts pushed forward, swelling before my eyes, stretching her dress proportionately. I could only imagine what they were like underneath, and I was determined to find out. However, I was not going to give in to my cock’s impulses. I needed to put Kat through her initial paces, to groom her for her proper place in this relationship.

“That’s so much better Kat. Now you’re beginning to look more like a woman should. I actually like that! You should practice that more often. It’s very befitting!” I rose from my seat and circled the table. Kat couldn’t help but follow me with her head and eyes as I moved about.

“I didn’t tell you to move did I? Like you were! I want to see how you look from the side and from behind!” My voice was rather harsh, yet not overly demanding. Kat immediately returned to her position, and I watched the red color rise through her neck. I wasn’t sure whether it was embarrassment or if it was anger at being told what to do. It didn’t matter either way, for she did as she was told!

“Kat, I honestly believe you need my guidance. I honestly believe that you need me to make you a better person, to make you complete, to make you a woman.” I knew I was striking a chord within her, because as those words came from my lips, I watched her shudder. Tiny bumps formed on the exposed skin, making the tiny hairs stand on end. It is what she had said before; I just reworded it in my terms.

“However, Kat, I don’t do anything halfway. If it is to be, it’s got to be all the way, or no way at all. It can’t be anything that I want; it has got to come from you. You have got to understand that in order for me to do what needs to be done, I need your commitment; not just in word, but in mind, body and spirit. That commitment will be tested time and time again, and it will not be easy on you.”

I left Kat and returned to my seat on the couch, returning to my food, finishing up my meal, while hers got cold. I continued talking while I ate. Her head remained bowed, her hands in her lap, and I could see her lip curling within her mouth as I spoke. “You have agreed that I was right in my analysis, and you agreed that you did need to start over. Now I need to hear from you, Kat! I need to hear it from your lips. I need to hear you say that. I need to hear that you are committed to this, to me, to do as I say, to make you a better, more rounded person. I need you to tell me that you want me to make you complete. I need to hear in your voice that you want me to make you a woman!”

I finished everything and lay the empty boxes to the side, the chopsticks next to them. “Kat. I need to hear it and feel it! I don’t want empty words. They have to come from your deepest soul for me to believe it.”

Before she started though, I told her to stay there and think about her response. I quickly ran to the bedroom and fetched my little digital video camera. I checked the battery as I turned it on and walked back out into the living room, focusing on Kat as I sat back down again. She looked absolutely marvelous within my viewfinder, kneeling properly head bowed submissively. “Now Kat! Look up, state your full name, and then tell me what it is you want to tell me, or ask of me.” I needed the footage as insurance to prove, if necessary, that Kat was going into this with a clear conscience, and not coerced … though some could argue that it was!

Kat

The harshness of his voice was like a slap to my face, to my pride, to any sense of worldliness I may have felt at some time or another in my life. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t know how to use chopsticks. I didn’t eat Chinese very often and mostly if I did I just picked at it anyway, preferring fortune cookies. It was the next words he said as he stared into my eyes that hurt and jarred me much deeper. The words dug into me like I was a boxer in the corner taking hits…one punch, then another, not being able to fight back, to assert myself; just taking it. “Much to learn. Not ready. Sheltered. Learn by doing. No book…” That much I knew. No book could teach me the things I didn’t know. But maybe I didn’t want to learn about those things, anyway. Who was HE to tell me what I needed to learn. I had made it this far by hard work and intelligence and no one seemed to minimize or dismiss my achievements. So why him? What right did he have to take it upon himself to be concerned about my education? What sage advice or wisdom could he possibly offer to me? What had made him such an expert on life, anyway?

His eyes left mine and he concentrated again on his meal before him. I watched jealously as he ate at his dinner. He handled the chopsticks with the fluency of a baton twirler, moving them quickly as he inhaled his dinner and gulped down his beer. I looked down at my dinner which was growing cold and decided that it would be futile to even bother eating. If I tried to use the chopsticks my fumbling would further embarrass me and if I asked for a fork it would be obvious that I had been defeated. That I was exactly as he said I was. I saw his eyes upon me once again, intent. His hand held his beer and so I picked up mine and drank; the heat of it sweeping my mouth and down my throat. I felt myself grow very warm all over. I knew the beer was starting to have an effect on me, especially with hardly anything to eat but I knew it was a possibility that his eyes upon me might be making me uncomfortably warm, too.

He continued to speak as I sat there. I tucked a lock of brown hair behind my ear as I listened. “Have you not ever seen any pictures or movies of Chinese women when they eat?” I could recall seeing a movie in one of my classes or one of my books where I saw the way they sat when they were eating. They kneeled, similar to what I was doing, minus the squirming about that I had displayed. But what relevance could this possibly have to me and my situation? My eyes widened as I began to get an idea of what he was possibly driving at. “They kneel at the table with their hands in their laps, their back straight, and their head lowered. Another lesson in life, Kat! Try it!” My eyes widened. Why? What purpose could this possibly have; teaching me about life? By kneeling while I was eating? What could that possibly accomplish? Or did he simply seek to ease his way into each crevice of my life; every thought, every breath, every movement? I felt his eyes hot upon me and I knew that I must do as he asked. For simply put I did not have another choice in the matter. I got up on my knees again, and once balanced I laid the chopsticks neatly beside the container on the table. My hands found my lap and I moved my head to gaze down at my hands. It felt completely natural and unnatural all at once.

His voice praising me made me smile but it was probably not seen as my brunette hair had fallen forward around my face. He urged me to scoot forward which I did quickly and assuredly, wanting to hear more praise…more and more and more of it. “Pull your shoulders back.” I knew that my posture was not the best, but I did not like to call attention to my chest. Nevertheless I did it, feeling my back stretch a bit and my breasts protrude, straining against the material of my dress. I wondered if he was looking at me. I wondered if he noticed them. I wondered if they were too big or too small or…

“That’s so much better Kat. Now you’re beginning to look more like a woman should. I actually like that! You should practice that more often. It’s very befitting!” My cheeks flushed as I heard his words and my eyes were on him as he got up from the sofa. While still keeping my head lowered I followed his movements with my eyes and head until his forceful voice broke the silence. “I didn’t tell you to move did I? Like you were! I want to see how you look from the side and from behind!” I moved my head back to where it had been, looking down at my fingers once again, seeing the union of my two hands. I felt a hot surge of embarrassment and shame well up in my body. A single message ran through my mind like a CD skipping over and over again; why are you doing this, why are you doing this, why are you doing this. I didn’t know. I shouldn’t let him. I was a girl, a girl with a mind and quite competent in using it. Why did I need someone like him tell me how to eat or sit or when to move. I willed my body to stand up. Yet I remained still, just as he had asked me to be. I felt as if I were fighting something within me that I was utterly weak against.

And then he said it. The culmination of all the night’s events, leading up to this; the climactic moment where he reveals his intentions to me. His words resonated through my small body and I drank them in like a thirsty man in an oasis. The shivers that coursed through my body were in sharp contrasts to the heat that had been moving through my veins earlier. “I need to hear in your voice that you want me to make you a woman! Kat. I need to hear it and feel it! I don’t want empty words. They have to come from your deepest soul for me to believe it.”

He left me, my thoughts hazy. In a matter of less than 24 hours I had my vision of reality knocked down and shredded. My flaws were made glaringly obvious to me. And there was a solution offered. But I had to decide if I wanted to take it, if I was ready to take it; and most of all if I wanted it bad enough to take it. My knees began to hurt from my extended period of kneeling and I took the opportunity of lifting a little and relieving some of the pressure from my knees. I quickly, almost naturally, re-assumed the kneeling position I had been in. I wondered why he had rushed away so quickly. I wanted to look behind me to see what he had. It could be almost anything and my heart began to pound with fear and trepidation. He then moved and finally revealed the object to me. It was a video camera. Thoughts went racing through my mind and I was troubled, so very troubled. Would my secret thoughts be hurled back against me and all I knew if he grew tired of me or if I disappointed him?

Yet I, cursing myself with every energy I had in my body, looked up into the camera and began to speak. “I am Katherine Anne Jennings and I would like to do what is necessary for you to make me into a woman.” My voice trembled a bit as I spoke these seemingly simple words, yet they were not so easy to say and least of all not simple to feel. And yet it was the most honest thought I remember having in my life.

How could I not smile at the simple response, though I would have preferred something more elaborate and eloquent from the girl in my viewfinder. She was a senior, up until she had made the commitment to start over, so her words should have contained more detail. Once again, it proved to me that Kat was still not ready for the real world as I saw it. I had to point that out, just to reinforce my point.

"Kat, that was excellent." I sat the camera down, still running unbeknownst to her, and still focused on her. "However, after all these years of college, I find it hard to believe that you can't express more of your emotions to me. You did tell me that you fantasized about me did you not?"

I watched as her eyes focused on mine, the lump forming in her throat as she took her time swallowing it. I heard her whisper of a response, yet I needed the video camera to pick it up clearly. "I'm sorry. What was that? I didn't hear you clearly?"

If Kat had known the camera was running, she'd probably not have repeated herself so clearly the second time. Yet she had no choice, but to admit that she had been fantasizing about me. The fact now captured as evidence.

I pressured her further, needing to establish her being here of her own free will, which she was soon about to lose to me. "And you came here for professional counselling?"

Kat affirmed that she indeed had come on a purely professional basis.

"Yet now, you find yourself torn, because you are so attracted to me?" This was the most direct approach I had taken with Kat, but since the proverbial beans had been spilled, it was time to let it all out. Once more, Kat struggled, swallowing the apparent lump, yet managed to confirm that.

I was now completely happy, having captured it all on video. I reached down and shut off the video camera, suddenly making Katherine Anne Jennings completely aware of what I had done. The red color filled her face within several seconds as the realization set in. I grabbed my beer and held it up, waiting for Kat to do the same. It wasn't as classy as champagne, or the sound of crystal ringing together, but it was a toast, a sealing of the deal so to speak as the cans touched each other. "Bottoms up," I commanded, smiling to myself as I imagined Kat assuming that position, once she learned each of my verbal commands.

The sound of the clinking cans was followed by each of us downing the drinks till they were empty. Kat's face twisted a bit as the alcohol went down her throat. Her eyes, now held something diffeent. It could have been the alcohol, or it could have been the fact she had just opened herself up, but she seemed a bit more at ease. Comfortable, perhaps, I didn't know.

I stared intently not saying a word as she looked towards me, keeping her eyes within my gaze. The smile was growing on my face, slowly as the corners lifted. I could almost sense that Kat was struggling to figure out what was going through my mind, almost wanting to scream out, "What?" She struggled to read my thoughts, finally lighting up, as if she had solved an impossible calculus equation. She opened her mouth as if she were going to speak, and stopped. She held back, finally putting her hands back in her lap, and lowering her head.

She was mine to do with as I pleased, yet I wasn't ready. I needed to have Kat practically throwing herself at me, so I decided to stave off my urges for just a bit.

"Kat?" She rose her head once again, and found my eyes. "I am not one who likes to waste food. I expect you to eat all of your meal." I knew she was incompetent in the art of using chopsticks, so I circled the table once again, and without invitation, knelt behind her. I leaned over her shoulder, my mouth at her ear, as I spoke softly. "Here, let me show you how to use these."

I could feel Kat's body twitch as I grabbed her wrist from her lap and raised it to the table. I turned her palm up and placed the chopsticks within them, positioning each one. I gently rolled her hand over as she nestled the one along the ridge of her thumb, the other angling along her index finger. "Now pinch," I instructed, watching the sticks fuble about. I did it again and again, until Kat finally got the habit of it, able to grab at the large objects with relative ease.

"Very good," I complemented, as she grew more comfortable handling the sticks. "As for the rice, just pick up the container, and use the sticks to shovel it in your mouth."

I circled back around and watched her finish her meal, despite it being somewhat cold. It was an accomplishment, which she was proud of. More evidence of what I could teach her. Proof that under my care she would learn a lot and be exposed to a great many wonders. I could only hope that she was as submissive sexually, as she was appearing to be physically.

Kat obediently finished every bit, embarrssingly picking up bits of rice that spilled upon the table with her fingers. All in all she did a good job on her first time with chopsticks. She sat the sticks down and looked to me for approval, her eyes, silently begging for me to say something.

"See? You have done well. I knew you could do it." I paused to let the praise sink in, watching her cheeks glow as her eyes sparkled. "Now you can see what I mean, when I say you have lots to learn. Now you can see that I can be the one to teach you. I can be the one to make you worldy. I can be the one to make you complete. I can be the one to make you a woman!"

Each sentence I spoke was followed by a blink of her fluttering eyelashes, each statement sinking in like a dagger to the heart. She could see, I knew it! I just needed to reinforce it over and over and over again, until it became ingrained within her.

"Now be a dear, and clean this up. Fetch us both another beer, when you are done." I didn't give her a chance to protest, rising from my seat as I took the camera back to it's secure location. Returning to the living room, I saw Kat dutifully clearing the coffee table. I turned on the stereo and inserted a series of my favorite jazz CD's, all loaded with various contemporary artists. I hit the random shuffle play and returned to the sofa, this time sitting near the end, leaving ample room for Kat to sit next to me, if she so desired, waiting for her to return with our beer.

Kat

I had spoke so simply to hopefully end the torment of being videotaped. I had flashbacks to family gatherings where we would relive old events by watching home videos. "Oh, look, there's Katherine at her first piano recital. What a little angel." Of course they neglected to mention how dorky I looked in my cokebottle glasses and my poofy hair. I didn't neglect to notice it though. It was all I could see. And hear. My childish voice echoing in my ears.

"Kat, that was excellent." I smiled as I watched him set the camera down, relieved that the videotaping was over. "However, after all these years of college, I find it hard to believe that you can't express more of your emotions to me. You did tell me that you fantasized about me did you not?" How humiliating. At least the camera was off. Still, I didn't like answering questions like this. I didn't like making myself even more vulnerable to him, although I appeared pretty damn vulnerable already. My eyes met his as I swallowed hard before whispering a simple yes. His gaze didn't leave mine as he spoke. "I'm sorry. What was that? I didn't hear you clearly?" I would have to do it again. I felt myself grow warm and my throat tighten again.

Just get it over with, Kat. The sooner you say it loudly the sooner he'll let it go and move on to something else. "Yes, I have fantasized about you," I said evenly and affirmatively.

"And you came here for professional counselling?" Finally, an easier one.

"Yes, I came here for professional counseling which you had offered me earlier. That is why you invited me over tonight you said." I felt myself growing more and more attached to his eyes. I never had problems looking people in the eyes, my mother said it demonstrated honesty and I was plenty honest. But for some reason I could hold his gaze longer than I usually could, only the occassional blinking breaking the bond.

"Yet now, you find yourself torn, because you are so attracted to me?"

I lowered my eyes for a brief second. Why must he subject me to this repeated interrogation? I had already confirmed all of these things to him earlier. Yet I was continually barraged with questions. I met his eyes again. I wanted to only whisper it. Yet he would just make me repeat myself if I did. So swallowing hard I answered him. "Yes, I find myself torn." And then I watched his hands go to the video camera again. He had been taping this. I felt a mixture of humiliation and anger enter my face, the warmth beginning deep in me and spreading outward and upward. Then, as nonchalantly as he had handled everything else thus far he raised his beer can in a manner in which to symbolize a toast. Some toast. Nonetheless I lifted my can, touching his. "Bottoms up."

Indeed. As much as I hated the taste of the beer I longed for the dulling sensation it could bring...I wished it to lower my inhibitions so I did not feel my apprehension and embarrassment quite so acutely. And so I drank greedily; not even drinking really, just letting it fill my stomach. Feeling the last drops hit my tongue I set my beer down and met his gaze. He stared back at me; a deep, soul-reading stare. I watched his face slowly change, the corners of his mouth turning into a smile. What was he staring at? And why was he staring like that? And smiling? What could be possibly be...?

Oh. That. My face little up, and while I would have usually been more embarrassed and self-conscious at this realization I almost said something. Deciding against it I let my lips close and reassumed a the position that, while new, was becoming increasingly more comfortable and familiar for me.

"Kat?" I looked up, probably a little too eagerly, and fixed my eyes upon him. "I am not one who likes to waste food. I expect you to eat all of your meal." I felt a hint of shame pass over me as I was reminded again of my incompetence in using chopsticks; a glaring example of my unwordliness. I opened my mouth to speak when I noticed him get up and move toward me. And then he knelt beside me. Perhaps this was the closest I had ever been to him. And my body took notice. The combination of the alcohol and his presence made it almost unbearably warm. And then he leaned in over my shoulder and I felt his warm breath on my ear, the side of my face, my neck. My blood raced through my veins like a raging current and I felt the unmistakable wetness almost soak through my panties. "Here, let me show you how to use these." He picked up my limp wrist and placed it on the table. His hands were large and seemed to envelope mine as he placed the chopsticks in my open hand, guiding my movements, and repositioning them after my awkward attempts to master their use. Finally I did it. Tentatively of course. But I was finally able to pick up things with them. I grew more confident as he walked away, leaving me to eat on my own, removing the training wheels of his fingers. "Very good." I was delighted to hear those words from him. Maybe it was a small compliment. But I took it to mean much more than that. It was the first task in the new education of Kat and I was quite happy to have accomplished it. "As for the rice, just pick up the container, and use the sticks to shovel it in your mouth."

I finally finished. I had spilled a bit of rice but I quickly picked it up with my fingers and wiped the table with my napkin to remove any traces of it. I looked up to him. I hoped he was pleased with me. I had tried so hard. My eyes met his, eager for him to respond to my actions, hoping he would again compliment my efforts. "See? You have done well. I knew you could do it." I felt my heart leap and soar, I felt my face and eyes light up at his words. "Now you can see what I mean, when I say you have lots to learn. Now you can see that I can be the one to teach you. I can be the one to make you worldy. I can be the one to make you complete. I can be the one to make you a woman!"

And perhaps he could. I certainly hadn't made progress toward that in my life. Maybe I hadn't even identified it as a goal yet. Perhaps until today I didn't even realize that I need something more than a formal books and paper education. I couldn't be confident in my ability to learn. To excel. Things like this didn't come easy to me. I wondered what else it would entail. Could I really do it? Was I ready enough? And could I trust the magnet inside me that drew me to him? But there had to have been something there he felt...he must have reciprocated at least some of the attraction and desire I felt for him. Or he wouldn't have written on my paper, he wouldn't have invited me over. I hadn't thought of this before. Was this a cleverly and carefully planned out seduction of Kat? Or had it just naturally evolved, the fusion of our desires, pulling us in each other's directions?

But he was right. I knew he was right. He could be the one to make me a woman.

"Now be a dear, and clean this up. Fetch us both another beer, when you are done." He spoke assuredly and disappeared into his room, taking the camera with him. At least I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. There was plenty more I would have to worry about than being videotaped. I rose, my knees and legs a bit sore but not unbearably so. I could still smell him near me, his scent hung on my clothes, staying with me although he had disappeared from my sight. I picked up the discarded chopsticks and napkins and boxes, placing them in the bag from the delivery and walked into the kitchen to find a trash can. I was still a little awed at its pristine condition. Perhaps he had a girl to clean up after him as he expected me to do. It was indeed a possibility. Dropping the bag into the empty container I fetched the empty beer cans and placed them on the counter next to the other empties. Removing two more beers from the refrigerator I realized with some degree of discomfort that I had never drank the equivalent of three beers before. And I was already starting to feel the two I had previously consumed. But that didn't seem to matter. I had been tasked to do something and I would complete it.

I heard music fill the house, radiating out from the living room. Jazz. How appropriate. As I closed the door to the fridge I realized how good the cool air felt on my skin. I was quite warm. I decided to remove the sweater I was wearing over my dress; a decision that later on I would regard as a very strategic and symbolic move or as another stupid decision in a string of other stupid decisions. Yet I did it, placing the sweater over one of the bar stools at the counter.

I emerged from the kitchen and walked into the middle of the living room, setting the two beers down on the table. I noticed he had chosen to sit toward one end of the couch, leaving the other side empty. I stood for a minute, trying to clear my clouded mind and decide where I was supposed to sit. I had been kneeling and he seemed happy with that arrangement. But yet he was making a rather obvious overture to my joining him on the couch by sitting to one side. My eyes moved from the couch to the floor and finally settled on the couch again. I sat down, angling my body toward his, able to view him while remaining on my side of the couch. I curled my legs up under and beside me, hoping I had made the right decision.

I sat there as Kat finished up, listening to the soft melodies played out through the guitars and pianos of the song selection. Everything was working out perfectly. Kat had just committed herself to me, and fallen into every trap I set out for her. Part of me had to wonder if this was all too good to be true; yet, here she was, being just as I wanted her to be. My mouth began to water at the limitless possibilities that lay ahead of me. Four years with Kat, training her, teaching her, using her, having her … it was much different than my normal freshman pick of the lot.

Kat was more developed, more grown, worldlier than the others, yet she was still very much a child. I was sure I could expand her world, and her horizons, much more quickly than the others in the past. Maybe that is what so intrigued me to her. She was so much like the others, yet very different in so many ways also. I couldn’t wait to get started.

I knew that I had made an apparent invitation for Kat to join me on the sofa, though never saying so. I was happy to see her stop and struggle within her own mind, trying to figure out where she should go. Her eyes kept darting to the floor and back to the open spot, yet I offered no indication, waiting to see where she would settle.

I had to chuckle inwardly, trying hard not to let Kat know she had fallen right into, yet another trap. I waited until she got all settled in and comfortable, before I sent her on that proverbial roller coaster once more. I tilted the beer in her direction, “Here’s to a new beginning, a new way of life … a new Katherine Anne Jennings.” We clinked cans, and I watched as Kat drank down her beer with more ease than she had all night long.

I could see a sense of ease and contentment begin to settle in, taking particular note of how her breasts seemed to stand out more prominently, now that she had removed her sweater. It was as if she was shedding that exterior modest shell, and showing her true inner being to me. That is what I wanted, more of Kat’s true inner being. I wanted the animal within her to come roaring out and demand attention! That was my goal!

“Kat?” I interrupted her brief period of calm. “You do know I did say earlier that I liked it when you were kneeling? As a matter of fact, I think I said, ‘Now you’re beginning to look like a woman should … You should practice that more often … It’s very befitting!” My voice slowly grew more tense, not letting Kat sense that I was angry, but to also offer her a gentle hint of what choice I had expected her to make. I could se the transformation once again in her face. She was as readable as an open book, which is something I liked! She knew she had made the wrong choice and was cursing herself silently for doing so. It was an expression I loved to see on her face, one I would strive for again and again, just to push her along and make her work harder to please me.

Kat apologized profusely and scrambled to assume the same position she had mastered so well earlier. She knelt on the other side of the table and looked to me for approval. I could no longer hide my smile, but still barked out, “Lower that head, and those eyes.” Kat immediately and obediently did, arching her back, pulling her shoulders back, and sticking out those lovely, perky breasts of hers for me to ogle upon. I watched with silent admiration as those lovely puppies rose and fell with each deep breath she took. I could almost imagine what they looked like unencumbered by any clothing, but that would have to wait.

“Kat,” I addressed her, “that is how I want to envision you always, when we are alone.” I had to explain one of the first rules Kat would have to learn. “It shows me that you are ready and willing to learn. If I want you to join me on the couch, I will inform you of that. Otherwise, from now on, you will kneel just as a proper oriental woman kneels before men. Your task from this point forward, Kat, will be to make sure that I am pleased, and happy in every way possible. That will be your way of saying, ‘thank you,’ for the education and training that I provide. The education I will give you cannot be paid for with money, but I will expect you to repay me in other ways.” It was really difficult to keep the sneer from growing on my face as I envisioned all the ways Kat would begin to repay me.

We had been skirting the issue all night, like two romantic lovers on a first date, each one knowing, but both afraid to make the first move. Now there was no turning back, for I had Kat where I wanted her. “Kat, our relationship together will be much different than any other you may be familiar with. In class and around campus I am known as either Mr. Pollard, Professor Pollard, or Coach Pollard! I don’t expect to be called anything different by you … except when we are alone. When we are alone I prefer to be referred to as ‘Lord’. I don’t mean in the religious sense either, but more like the feudal days. I am the king of this castle, and demand to be treated like such.”

I could see the words sink in, not sure if I was throwing too much upon her all at once. She hadn’t moved, other than an occasional slight twitch in her thighs. However, upon closer examination, I saw the beginnings of two tiny bumps begin to appear through the dress she was wearing. As she breathed, her luscious, creamy swells filled with air, and the bumps became increasingly larger, and more pronounced. I knew my words were having an effect on her, an effect that was causing her body to unwittingly respond. That was something that she would come to realize shortly.

I knew I could have her body responding in ways she never thought imaginable. I was going to make her body respond to me without me even touching her. For all I knew, her panties were probably soaked right now, kneeling there so submissively for me. But that would be something I would address later!

“Do you understand me Kat? Do you understand what it is I am asking you to do?” I watched as her bottom lip got sucked in, obviously being bitten as her head began to bob ever so slightly up and down. I heard her affirmative reply, even though it was fairly soft.

“That is excellent, Kat! Now, I need to know all there is about Kat, that isn’t listed on paper! Tell me all about your childhood, your family, growing up, your dating experiences, and so on. I am all ears Kat! I need to know it all! Give me every embarrassing detail, no matter how trivial! If I’m going to help you, I need to know where we are starting from!”

I sat back, folded my arms, and watched as Kat’s head slowly rose, her eyes meeting my gaze once more. The struggle was on her face again. I knew she didn’t want to expose herself, didn’t want to make herself vulnerable. However, she had already done that! Nothing could be worse than the roller coaster ride I had set her upon already. I was also sure the beer would help ease some of the pressure on those pent up walls!

Kat

I settled on the couch next to him, the distance of a cushion separating us. I eyed him intently trying to discern whether I had made the correct decision. I knew that he liked to see me kneeling, but he had likened it to Japanese woman eating so I thought perhaps that it was a position reserved only for dining. Perhaps for conversation my joining him on the couch would be acceptable. He said nothing so I relaxed a bit, but I noted a trace of humor in the face that I had studied so intently.

He held his beer out in another toast. I reached for mine from the table noting its coldness and the condensate that coated it in contrast to my warm hand. "Here's to a new beginning, a new way of life...a new Katherine Anne Jennings." Our cans touched each other's once more and I found myself having an excessive thirst for the beer as if it was life itself. I stifled a burp as I set the can down, surprised at how much I had drank.

While there was still an aura of dominance and power that surrounded him in my eyes and always would I began to feel more at ease. I loved the way my body sank into the couch and the way he sat and I would have gladly forgot how to use chopsticks again if that meant that he would take my hands in his once more. I felt his eyes intently stare into me, taking in my chest that appeared fuller without the weight of the sweater. I was thankful that the bra I had chosen was rather thick so that it wouldn't expose the excitement that was apparent in my erect nipples.

“Kat? You do know I did say earlier that I liked it when you were kneeling? As a matter of fact, I think I said, ‘Now you’re beginning to look like a woman should … You should practice that more often … It’s very befitting!” Dammit. I had made the wrong choice. I was already a poor student and I hadn't really started my education yet. His voice was not neither sharp nor gentle; simply firm. I felt my eyes begin to water and I quickly got up and moved to the kneeling position I had assumed previously, facing him. I kept my head down, my hair covering it a bit. I hoped that the brunette curtain over my face would conceal the tears in my eyes and the way my lower lip was quivering.

"I am so sorry. I will not forget again, I...I..." I started to calm down and I think the beer was having some effect on that. I lifted my head to face him, my eyes meeting and keeping his, trying to see if my current position was befitting as he had said earlier. I saw the hint of his smile but he quickly commanded me to lower my head and eyes. I corrected my posture quickly, my back straight and my shoulders back. I felt my back stretch a bit uncomfortably; I wasn't a sloucher but this was a new position for me. I couldn't see if he was looking at me or not but I was sure he was. I could feel the heat of his gaze on me like a ray of sunshine.

I was silent as I had no idea what to do next. Finally he spoke. “Kat, that is how I want to envision you always, when we are alone. It shows me that you are ready and willing to learn. If I want you to join me on the couch, I will inform you of that. Otherwise, from now on, you will kneel just as a proper oriental woman kneels before men. Your task from this point forward, Kat, will be to make sure that I am pleased, and happy in every way possible. That will be your way of saying, ‘thank you,’ for the education and training that I provide. The education I will give you cannot be paid for with money, but I will expect you to repay me in other ways.” I listened carefully, trying to commit his lecture to memory. I could understand it all but the 'expect me to repay him in other ways' part kinda freaked me out. It had to be sexual. It had to be kinky. I could sense that about him. He continued on, introducing me to how he wanted me to address him. Lord. That would be weird. That is usually how I started my prayers. Dear Lord. I felt a little less blasphemous when he likened the address to the way people used to be named. Lord and Lady this or that. I could deal with it a little easier now.

While I was not sure if it was the beer (alcohol always makes me warm all over) or that I was aroused I now knew I was indeed aroused. His words held no hint of any of that, perhaps a small innuendo here and there, but nothing overt. Yet here I was. Getting excited. Even through my thick bra I could see my nipples peek through it and then peek out my dress. How embarrassing. Maybe I was just cold. That's it. I had taken the sweater off and now I was a bit chilly. But I really was not. I was most certainly aroused. But why? That is the part that disturbed me the most. I was sure he could see it; I certainly couldn't hide what was happening to me.

“Do you understand me Kat? Do you understand what it is I am asking you to do?” I did. I would remember. But saying it out loud. It was like making it known, speaking out, with more certainty and finality. I bit down on my lower lip contemplating what to do. I began to move my head up and down and finally almost inaudibly whispered that I understood. “That is excellent, Kat! Now, I need to know all there is about Kat, that isn’t listed on paper! Tell me all about your childhood, your family, growing up, your dating experiences, and so on. I am all ears Kat! I need to know it all! Give me every embarrassing detail, no matter how trivial! If I’m going to help you, I need to know where we are starting from!”

Oh God. How absolutely embarrassing. This was getting your period on your prom night with a white dress on embarrassing. I should run away now. Drive home. Call my study buddy for p-chem and get the notes from today that I missed. Drop his class. But I had wanted him to psychoanalyze me. And that would involve me sharing things about my life, wouldn't it? "Ummm, ok." I wanted to look up and look at him while I was talking. It was like talking to the floor like this. But nevertheless I began. "I was born in a medium sized city and lived there all my life. I have a sister, she is younger than me. Growing up I took piano lessons and sometimes I took dance lessons too. But I liked the piano better and I played in the talent show like three times. I was in Science Oympiad and tennis and forensics. I was in a play once but I sucked. I was in the choir. I graduated like 14th in my class of like 400 or something. My parents got divorced when I was 16. They are both remarried now." Short, bulleted statements. Was that all there was in my life? A long list of statements. Or was I more like a novel to be read?

"My first love was my 6th grade English teacher. I loved him for like 4 years and would have given anything to be with him, not sexually but just be his wife. All very innocent stuff." Now we were getting to the juicy parts. The parts he would enjoy, anyway. "My first boyfriend was when I was 16. We did it when I was 16 but then he went away to college; he was a senior and I was a sophomore. College girls would be way more fun compared to a girlfriend who can't even buy cigarettes or gamble. And they were. At least he was honest about the whole thing. He broke up with me before he did anything with anyone. I went out on a few other dates but I was still kinda in love with my teacher and my old boyfriend so nothing really compared to them. I didn't have many friends that were girls. I mean girls you went out and did things with. I mean I always had friends in my classes. But like you know the type you go to the mall with or whatever...I didn't really have those kind of friends. I went to one dance. That was the prom at the high school where my boyfriend went, not even at my school. But my dress was pretty and black and my hair was really pretty, not an updo like everybody else but long and surrounding my face. They gave us these little champagne glass candle thingies as souvenirs...they were really pretty and I'm not sure whatever happened to mine. Oh well." I shrugged. And then I realized I was talking WAY too much but I had to continue, just a few more things to say... "Then here I met this really awesome guy named Michael. He was finishing up the PhD in his MD/PhD program. We worked with rats together. He kinda showed me things and was really nice and goofy and sweet and the professor in charge of the study really seemed to like him and was really sad to see him go to med school. We had fun for the brief time we knew each other. I fell in love with him really fast...and he seemed to fall in love with me, too. But he had just got divorced, he got married right after he graduated, and he hadn't really had the time to kind of be a free man and date all kinds of girls...he had been with his wife for his junior and senior years in undergrad so I knew his experiences were limited. We tried doing the just being friends part but it didn't work out. I was hoping something more would eventually come out of it and I think I pushed him away. But he's in med school now so I don't have to see him which is nice.”

I looked down at my hands which were in my lap, noting how I would need to cut my nails, I liked to keep them short; it made typing so much easier. I would need to do that. But I also needed to continue this. Or what was left of it. What had I left out? “And my life now? I have a lovely apartment and I study and I work at the library and…I don’t tailgate or go to games or parties or whatever.” No life alert. That was me. “But that is ok, because I really would much rather work on my research and preparing myself for grad school than hang around with a whole bunch of drunk kids.” But sometimes…sometimes… “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to trade places with them. To see what it would feel like to go out clubbing. Or to be like the other girls…the tan cute ones that are always on their cell phone.” I dismissed that thought quickly, wishing I had not spoken of it. “But it’s just like a thing that doesn’t mean much, like wishing you could have Pepsi when all they have is Coke. Just real fleeting, nothing I am really serious about.” I folded my hands in my lap, a sense of completeness and finality. “Have I left anything out?”