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When things move beyond Literotica

Lee9104

Lee9104

Literotica Guru
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Posts
619
Sometimes you meet someone on Literotica and end up taking things to a different level. You chat *IM*, email, phone calls getting to know the Real person. At some point one of you or both brings up the "I want to meet you? ". :D
Now here is my question at this point when things have moved beyond Literotica when you are in fact getting to know this man/woman offline as well as online *Real Life*. There is talk of you going to see him/her. You are in fact willing to take a chance and see what happens (possible relationship). Do you mean what you say or are you still playing? :confused: Would you want/expect at this point for the person to be honest straightforward (meaning what they are saying)?
I personally would not tell someone I wanted to meet them and see what happens in *Real Life* if in fact I didn't mean what I was saying.
Fantasy or Reality :devil:
 
For me, I mean what I say. I'm going to see my Dom in July and can't wait! We've really fallen for each other.
Now, in a not so serious situation, I wouldn't be as quick to tell someone I wanted to see them in real life. Did you have a bad experience here? Just curious as to why you made this thread.
 
I've met several people from Lit...whether just to meet...or to become seriously involved....but with me...what you see is what you get...my Lit "personality" and my real "personality" are the same. I'm no more shy/introverted/freaky than I am here....
 
I've met many people from the internet.

It's going to depend completely on the plans you make (meeting for coffee versus meeting in a room reserved at a bed and breakfast)

Fortunately if you don't allow it, you won't have to worry about it :)

I'm married to a guy I met online though.
 
ima6uldv8 said:
For me, I mean what I say. I'm going to see my Dom in July and can't wait! We've really fallen for each other.
Now, in a not so serious situation, I wouldn't be as quick to tell someone I wanted to see them in real life. Did you have a bad experience here? Just curious as to why you made this thread.
Click to expand...

I guess you could call it bad. I happen to be thinking of moving were this person happens to live. I had to go there for interview's and to see about housing. We didn't meet the first time because I couldn't get him to respond with email and he didn't know I was there until I was gone lol. Second time I went as a friend thought he needed a *hug* truth. Was just going to meet him and talk didn't expect anything else to happen that time thought he needed a friend more then a lover at that time. Same thing happened no reply to my PM's or emails when he was told in them I was there. Long story short there will be no more trips he has moved on as they say. So I was wondering if I was wrong in my thinking. So I had to ask and see what other people think before I put myself out there again. This was not across town this was long distance and costly and I don't like being played if you know what I mean. :devil:
 
you looked for a job cross country in order to be with someone online....and you didn't have stuff set up in advance? The fact that you couldn't get ahold of him just priror to your trip smells of a married man just playing online to me....but then...I tend to have a better sense of people.....
 
Guttergoddess said:
I've met several people from Lit...whether just to meet...or to become seriously involved....but with me...what you see is what you get...my Lit "personality" and my real "personality" are the same. I'm no more shy/introverted/freaky than I am here....
Click to expand...

The real you is no more freaky than the on-line you?
 
Personally, I would have never made the plans of relocations and so forth without first meeting this person. Just a casual meeting would have been good and then spending time together as people and friends would have let you know what type of person he was and if he were being truthful.

I too, met my s/o online, but there was alot of chatting, phone calls and several real life meetings before he was even thought of as a s/o. Actually when I first come to stay with him it was as a friend helpng a friend out due to surgery that he had to have done. It wasn't until well after the surgery was done that we even talked about living together.
 
Recidiva~ That's just it the plans *WE* were making turned out to be onesided in real life when I went to his state. They did not seem so onesided when we chatted online or on the phone. Glad to hear your online relationship worked out so well.

Guttergoddess~I tend to be the same in real life as I am on Literotica as well. I don't see the need for pretending to be something I am not. Thanks.
 
Missingmeds said:
Personally, I would have never made the plans of relocations and so forth without first meeting this person. Just a casual meeting would have been good and then spending time together as people and friends would have let you know what type of person he was and if he were being truthful.

I too, met my s/o online, but there was alot of chatting, phone calls and several real life meetings before he was even thought of as a s/o. Actually when I first come to stay with him it was as a friend helpng a friend out due to surgery that he had to have done. It wasn't until well after the surgery was done that we even talked about living together.
Click to expand...

My plans for moving to this state were in place long before I met this person on Literotica lol. I have been setting up interviews and looking at housing for months prior to even chatting with him. It was someplace I have always wanted to live and with my son in his second year of college and wanting to move out on his own seemed like a good time to relocate (meaning this year). I agree with you I would never make plans to move to a place with out knowing the person alot longer as well as spending time getting to know the real person. :devil:
 
Not to be too negative or anything, but in my view online is just fantasy. Women or men they are all just here for fun. Take it to a offline level and you might as well forget anything positive happening. This is all smoke and mirrors and not Real Life no matter how honest people claim to be.
 
Dymoel40 said:
Not to be too negative or anything, but in my view online is just fantasy. Women or men they are all just here for fun. Take it to a offline level and you might as well forget anything positive happening. This is all smoke and mirrors and not Real Life no matter how honest people claim to be.
Click to expand...
Hmmm, let's see here.... 332 posts since October of 2002. Yep, I do believe that would qualify you as an expert witness with regards to online relationships. :D
 
Lonely Knight said:
Hmmm, let's see here.... 332 posts since October of 2002. Yep, I do believe that would qualify you as an expert witness with regards to online relationships. :D
Click to expand...

Well he is Really Really Experienced you know :rolleyes:
 
Lee9104 said:
Sometimes you meet someone on Literotica and end up taking things to a different level. You chat *IM*, email, phone calls getting to know the Real person. At some point one of you or both brings up the "I want to meet you? ". :D
Now here is my question at this point when things have moved beyond Literotica when you are in fact getting to know this man/woman offline as well as online *Real Life*. There is talk of you going to see him/her. You are in fact willing to take a chance and see what happens (possible relationship). Do you mean what you say or are you still playing? :confused: Would you want/expect at this point for the person to be honest straightforward (meaning what they are saying)?
I personally would not tell someone I wanted to meet them and see what happens in *Real Life* if in fact I didn't mean what I was saying.
Fantasy or Reality :devil:
Click to expand...
Excellent discussion.
Here is my experience with meeting fantasy vs. reality:

First scenario:
After emailing, chatting, and phoning for over a year I agreed to meet a young virgin man for his first sexual encounter. I flew to his state and we had a great two days together. It was the boldest most erotic thing I had ever done at the time. He was also 19 yrs my jr. However, afterward he would be hurt if he knew I was going on a date. He wanted to meet regularly but he grew too attached to me and frankly, what would I want with a relationship with a 19 yr old boy?

2nd scenario:
I agreed to meet an older married gentlemen IN MY HOME (dumb) to role play a May/December encounter. He is 31 yrs my senior and agreed to meet him in my house. We never even talked on the phone. So we met and had such a great time that we did it again a month later. Something changed the second time as our role playing turned into reality and I had the most mind blowing orgasm of my life. I even told him no falling in love. This is just for fun. Nothing can ever come of this. Just a few encounters and that's it.

I had no plans to go crazy over this man. He is a wonderful loving man. The reality for us is obvious so we enjoy each other just as things are. He is lucky to have two women who love him and I am lucky to have experiences such a generous loving partner for as long as it lasts.

However, if I was to meet anyone online again, I would never expect this to happen again.
 
Hi Hotncmom,

Thank you for sharing and I am glad to see the responses I have gotten. I think we can learn from each others experiences. Get some insight that may help us an others who might be thinking of taking the next step. This was not my first online relationship by far. The first man I met a few years back was an experience I don't share with many. It may or may not come out in this thread depending on what happens with the thread. How long it last lol and which way the road takes it.

I can see your point with the relationship with the 19 year old boy. I have a 19 year old son and he tends to be more interested in young ladies a bit older then him. I feel he is looking for maturity and when he finds it a young lady she just tends to be older then him by 3 to 5 years.

I can see that you really care for this older gentleman you are with. I am glad things have worked out for you. I think you both being honest with each other about what happened that second time you met and what can and can't happen has played a big part in it lasting. I wish you the best of luck. I agree he is very lucky to have two women love him. I have trouble getting one man to love me lol. :devil:
 
Dymoel40 said:
Not to be too negative or anything, but in my view online is just fantasy. Women or men they are all just here for fun. Take it to a offline level and you might as well forget anything positive happening. This is all smoke and mirrors and not Real Life no matter how honest people claim to be.
Click to expand...
Speak for yourself. I met my husband online, and I've had relatively successful encounters with people that I've met online. Lit's pretty much the only place that I post regularly, and what you see is what you get. My profile gives those who bother to read it a pretty clear idea of where I'm coming from and what I'm looking for, and I haven't hidden a thing.

A lot of people make the distinction between online and real life, but I tend to think the lines are blurry at best. A lot of people hide behind the anonymity of the Internet to insult people or act differently than they would IRL. Yes, there are a lot of liars and fakers out there, but there are a lot of liars and fakers IRL as well. Sometimes it's easier to maintain a facade when the relationship isn't a flesh and blood, face-to-face relationship.
 
I've met people from online several times...and had several near misses.

First time I went to meet someone from online...I'd only been online a short time, and had no online pics...met a guy..we chatted contstantly, had spoken on the phone...and agreed to get together, I'd seen a pic of him and while he was entirely too skinny for my taste...he had what I thought was a great personality...the day before we were to meet...he received a snail mail pic of me....he wouldn't return my calls, or im's that night..or the next day...I was genuninely concerned for his safety...2 days later...he left me a VM stating he couldn't meet...as I was too fat for him....I almost decided not to get online ever again after that.

I changed my mind, and just got smarter.

I met a guy who was married, so was I...we actually met as couples with my husband and his wife...we had a great vacation....and remained friends to this day.

Met both my best girlfriends online...and 6 years later, the 3 of us talk at least weekly, if not daily, along with a whole crew of others that came with that friendship.
 
Lessons-n-Lust said:
Well he is Really Really Experienced you know :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

If you judge someone's life (or, in this case, online) experience by their post count and join date, then that's your problem.

I've had several online friendships that went beyond the internet. Yes, faceless, we have the ability to make everything fantasy, but there's a good lot of us that don't. I'd say we incorporate reality into our fantasy.

Once you get face to face though, while you may have fantasy in your reality, there's no doubting it's real. My fantasies usually don't involve bad morning breath or fighting over the last bit of beef stroganoff.

I've met a few people from online that were more amazing in person than I could have ever imagined before meeting them. Fantasy could not hold a candle to reality.
 
Raidho said:
If you judge someone's life (or, in this case, online) experience by their post count and join date, then that's your problem.

I've had several online friendships that went beyond the internet. Yes, faceless, we have the ability to make everything fantasy, but there's a good lot of us that don't. I'd say we incorporate reality into our fantasy.

Once you get face to face though, while you may have fantasy in your reality, there's no doubting it's real. My fantasies usually don't involve bad morning breath or fighting over the last bit of beef stroganoff.

I've met a few people from online that were more amazing in person than I could have ever imagined before meeting them. Fantasy could not hold a candle to reality.
Click to expand...

Oh, please. My comment was made in jest to LK's message, which is why I quoted him, and if you can't see that then that's your problem. Thanks.
 
Lessons-n-Lust said:
Oh, please. My comment was made in jest to LK's message, which is why I quoted him, and if you can't see that then that's your problem. Thanks.
Click to expand...

I get it
 
Eilan said:
Speak for yourself. I met my husband online, and I've had relatively successful encounters with people that I've met online. Lit's pretty much the only place that I post regularly, and what you see is what you get. My profile gives those who bother to read it a pretty clear idea of where I'm coming from and what I'm looking for, and I haven't hidden a thing.

A lot of people make the distinction between online and real life, but I tend to think the lines are blurry at best. A lot of people hide behind the anonymity of the Internet to insult people or act differently than they would IRL. Yes, there are a lot of liars and fakers out there, but there are a lot of liars and fakers IRL as well. Sometimes it's easier to maintain a facade when the relationship isn't a flesh and blood, face-to-face relationship.
Click to expand...

Eilan

I agree I have had some good encounters with people online as well. I have friends who have good standing relationships with people they have met online some have even married. In the time I have been chatting online I have a list of very good friends that I have continued to chat with for years even though we have not met in person I consider them friends. We chat online on the phone and in some cases through emails.
I have also had an encounter with a man that I met online that was very much different in real life then he was online and that is putting it mildly. I think the real trouble starts when people aren't honest and yes you can find that online as easily as real life. :devil:
 
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