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I wanna whisper nasty stuff... better

A

A Desert Rose

Simply Charming Elsewhere
Joined
Aug 16, 2002
Posts
13,997
I posted this in the bdsm forum but chicklet suggested I post here. Hope someone or someones can help...

Because I work per diem, I drive a longish distance some days, so I've taken to listening to audio tapes and CDs. (Audio books... mostly history and biography.) What I'm looking for and have been unable to find is erotica on tape or CD. I want GOOD erotica and especially - and don't laugh at me - but tapes to teach how to talk dirty, better. (Believe me, I've never been real good at talking dirty and I'd like to do a better job.)

Does anyone know of any sites where I can purchase any kind of audio erotica?




mmm... Audio erotica - has a nice ring to it LOL
 
I'm not sure why you would need an audio tape in order to learn how to dirty talk.

What is the problem you have with dirty talk? Unable to come up with things to say? Too shy to say them?

The specific problem you have with vocalizing erotica effects how to "whisper nasty stuff better."
 
bisexplicit said:
I'm not sure why you would need an audio tape in order to learn how to dirty talk.

What is the problem you have with dirty talk? Unable to come up with things to say? Too shy to say them?
Yes and yes. But mostly, I am adjectively challenged in dirty talk. My mind goes blank.
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Adjectively challenged.

Hmmm. So, I'm guessing you mean you don't want to continually say "Your hard dick...that hard hard dick of yours...and oh my, I want your hard dick."

With erotica in general, there tends to be a lot of (unintended) repetition. When writing, you can simply consult a thesaurus (which I do a lot of times when I'm stuck).

I would spend some time brainstorming outside of the bedroom different words or phrases you could use. Particularly, maybe, ones that turn you or your lover on.

Have you tried listening to any of the audio stories on lit? There are quite a few different ones with different styles that may help.
 
bisexplicit said:
Adjectively challenged.

Hmmm. So, I'm guessing you mean you don't want to continually say "Your hard dick...that hard hard dick of yours...and oh my, I want your hard dick."

With erotica in general, there tends to be a lot of (unintended) repetition. When writing, you can simply consult a thesaurus (which I do a lot of times when I'm stuck).

I would spend some time brainstorming outside of the bedroom different words or phrases you could use. Particularly, maybe, ones that turn you or your lover on.

Have you tried listening to any of the audio stories on lit? There are quite a few different ones with different styles that may help.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are exactly right, it's the boring repetition that I hate. I guess I need new material - lol.

I agree that the erotica here would be helpful and has been, but as I said, I travel a lot during the week and it would be nice to hear it in my car. I just don't have as much time to read (on or off my computer) as I used to.
 
A Desert Rose said:
Yes, you are exactly right, it's the boring repetition that I hate. I guess I need new material - lol.

I agree that the erotica here would be helpful and has been, but as I said, I travel a lot during the week and it would be nice to hear it in my car. I just don't have as much time to read (on or off my computer) as I used to.
Click to expand...

Someone has told me before that they download the audio stories as mp3s...but perhaps thats not the most practical thing for you.

I'm afraid I don't know where you can buy good erotic audio in a cd or tape form though.
 
bisexplicit said:
Someone has told me before that they download the audio stories as mp3s...but perhaps thats not the most practical thing for you.

I'm afraid I don't know where you can buy good erotic audio in a cd or tape form though.
Click to expand...

I don't have an mp3 player. But thank you for your opinions.

We both know that nothing increases ones vocabulary like reading does... guess I'll try to work in more time to actually read, if that's the best I can do. ;-)
 
A Desert Rose said:
I don't have an mp3 player. But thank you for your opinions.

We both know that nothing increases ones vocabulary like reading does... guess I'll try to work in more time to actually read, if that's the best I can do. ;-)
Click to expand...

well on the line of mp3's, you could burn them onto cd in regular song form as opposed to mp3 and listen to them that way.
 
eudaemonia said:
Here's one to keep on your nightstand:

The Fine Art Of Erotic Talk:
How To Entice, Excite, And Enchant Your Lover With Words
by Bonnie Gabriel

Best $17 I spent in 1998. ;)

I really dislike the words "fuck" "dick" and "cunt" and discovered therein quite a few new-to-me terms that were far more to my taste, not to mention a few phrases that I've modified to suit my own style.
Click to expand...

LOL... I have that book! And it's a good one, too.

But thanks for mentioning it because I'm sure there are many who have never heard of it.
 
Chicklet said:
well on the line of mp3's, you could burn them onto cd in regular song form as opposed to mp3 and listen to them that way.
Click to expand...

Okay... I need someone to tell me how to do that. Now this is a distinct possibility for me. Do you know how?

And thanks again, Chicklet.
 
Dirty talk in bed really turns my crank but I have found that not a lot of women (at least the ones I've been with) are into it. I've even asked some to talk dirty and they said they can't. If it's done in a very sexy, sensuous way it's great.

I was with a woman last year who loved to talk dirty and it was the most incredible turn on for me and we had an amazing sex life but, unfortunately, shemoved away.

To me sex should incorporate all the senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and feel.
 
My take on getting down and dirty...

There is a great deal more to talking dirty or getting nasty than you might think. At least if you do it right! I assume by your request, you want to increase the level of lust or passion with such talk. But you have trouble coming up with the right words at the right time.

Keep in mind, each person is different in their likes and dislikes. So what I have to offer is what works for me and raises my blood pressure but may not necessarily work for you.

First things first, YOU have to be comfortable with what you are saying. If you say something because it sounds raunchy or nasty and that is what you are trying to pull off, but it doesn’t work for you or makes you uncomfortable, then you will not get the effect you are looking for.

Like some have said, try to avoid repetition, saying the same thing or using the same words. Sit down way afternoon or evening and just write down all the words you can think of fro certain things (i.e. dick = cock = rod = member = fuck stick = etc.). Do this for lots of things. His equipment, your equipment, the various acts, etc. Then try putting a few you like together in short little quips. Try several variations.

Don’t be sanitary or mono tone when you say it. You can’t sound like you are ordering a pizza and expect to get any kind of desired reaction form your partner. Likewise, don’t yell out and scream just for the sake of screaming. No problem screaming out loud when you are lost in the throws of ecstasy, but you don’t want to sound like you are cutting a rap CD either. Use inflection to emphasize what you are saying to him. Make it all part of your labored breathing and you will score major points. Same can be said about grunting the words or changing the tone of your voice to a deeper tone than you might use when answering the phone.

For me, like so many other things, quality is MUCH more important that quantity. How you say it is more important than what you say. I prefer to use nasty talk somewhat sparingly but when I do say it or have it said to me, it should be said with all the full emotion and passion you can muster. You want to say it and then let it sink in. Let him dwell on the heat you generated with your short, but nasty comment. Wait for him to react to it. What good is it to tell him you want him to pound his big cock into you if you launch straight into another burst. You both want to focus on the intensity of what you said. Then move on from there.

If you are afraid you might embarrass yourself at first, practice on your own first. But be sure you do it inthe right frame of mind (i.e. not on the ride to work). Try talking out loud to yourself while masturbating. Close your eyes and really focus on the image of your fantasy. Practice talking dirty as if he were really there until you become comfortable with it. Trust me on this one. If you are comfortable with it, your man will go nuts when you start getting after it with him and then let out some good nasty talk.

Good luck to you both!

Just my 2 cents worth…
 
Dcraz,

You make a lot of sense but what you are basically saying, IMHO, is that it needs to come from the :heart: . If it doesn't come out right, or if you are not convinced and comfortable about it yourself first... it won't work. :D

Now..... what if it's in your heart, on your mind.... you like (scrap that; you LOVE) to hear all that nasty stuff plus you can even say those words out loud when you're alone and/or in another situation? Like for instance when you talk sex outside the bedroom?

Why is it so difficult to say those things while having sex with a partner you love and trust?
 
M's girl said:
Dcraz,

You make a lot of sense but what you are basically saying, IMHO, is that it needs to come from the :heart: . If it doesn't come out right, or if you are not convinced and comfortable about it yourself first... it won't work. :D

Now..... what if it's in your heart, on your mind.... you like (scrap that; you LOVE) to hear all that nasty stuff plus you can even say those words out loud when you're alone and/or in another situation? Like for instance when you talk sex outside the bedroom?

Why is it so difficult to say those things while having sex with a partner you love and trust?
Click to expand...


I believe it's an issue of confidence (or lack thereof) and a fear of crossing a line and forever after being considered 'dirty' or somehow less sensual or ladylike with your partner. Again, as with most intimate things, it comes down to better communication. Reminds me of another thread I have seen called Romance vs. Raunch where people have been discussing a similar topic. The question is can you have both, or more importantly, if you have second, can you somehow preserve the first.

To that I say, absolutely. If it is handled properly between two communicating adults with healthy attitudes and emotions. Lot's of qualifiers there I realize but also why it is difficult for so many to achieve.

I can make love in the most intimate and loving ways, holding her, enjoying the intimacy of just being inside her and sharing the bond we enjoy. With cuddling and all the sensual after love making kisses and carresses. But this is NOT the time to whisper into her ear how much you enjoyed blasting your load deep inside her hot cunt.

Then there is the time I come home for lunch unexpectedly, throw her on the floor, rip her clothes off and ravage her in a most ungentlemanly fashion (but always with care and respect). THIS would be the time to talk dirty, how I couldn't wait another second, had to have her, had to unleash my lust, etc.

So it has to do with understanding the boundaries of the moment and the kind of love making that the two of you are enjoying.

If you truly love and TRUST them, then it is probably an issue of insecurity on your part. Unfortunately, this is very common for women. And harks back to so many other things (history of men treating women badly, lack of respect, unrealistic societal pressures and expectations, etc.). Fodder for any number of new threads there.

If you do love and trust him, then talk to him. And learn to love and trust yourself. If you can achieve both of those, you and your partner will not only be closer, you will enjoy some incredibly intense moments of lust and released passion that you might have been missing...

Good luck to you both.
 
Its not about what words or adjectives you use or like reading the right lines from a script in your head, its about expressing your real feelings and desires. Let those naughty thoughts come from your gut and not a looped recording of "oh God." Its about expressing your thoughts of love, lust, passion, desires, naughty thoughts, nasty hopes and kinky secrets. Turn your partner on with naughty images you paint in their heads so that you both share something that feels real. is really what helps turn on each others mind. And since 90% of great sex happens because of what is between our ears and not our legs than thats where those truly awsome orgasmic adventures will occur.

Dirty talk is a great tool we can use to enhance sexual arousal and pleasure. Really its more about conveying to hour partner a mental image that we both can share. Dirty talk is only part of the way to help paint that mental picture. Using expressions of love, lust, and passion really brightens the colors of our shared mental image. But express the dirty thoughts you feel and find arousing and not some vulgar word that we heard 50 times in a porn video. Dont act but be real and express what you feel. Enjoy expressing those naughty ideas and nasty needs. Dont use a word that isnt something you cant feel, use the words that expresses your feelings that you want to share if its reality or fantasy.

Dirty talk helps us form mental images. The right shared mental image can be a wonderful and if we understand our partners desires, fantasies and things that turn them on. Its not so much the words you say but that you express words about how you feel or would like to feel. Let your naughty side out to have some fun with their naughty side.

When you are real and express your passion it is almost an overwelming sexual arousal and emotion.
 
dcraz said:
I believe it's an issue of confidence (or lack thereof) and a fear of crossing a line and forever after being considered 'dirty' or somehow less sensual or ladylike with your partner. Again, as with most intimate things, it comes down to better communication. Reminds me of another thread I have seen called Romance vs. Raunch where people have been discussing a similar topic. The question is can you have both, or more importantly, if you have second, can you somehow preserve the first.

To that I say, absolutely. If it is handled properly between two communicating adults with healthy attitudes and emotions. Lot's of qualifiers there I realize but also why it is difficult for so many to achieve.

I can make love in the most intimate and loving ways, holding her, enjoying the intimacy of just being inside her and sharing the bond we enjoy. With cuddling and all the sensual after love making kisses and carresses. But this is NOT the time to whisper into her ear how much you enjoyed blasting your load deep inside her hot cunt.

Then there is the time I come home for lunch unexpectedly, throw her on the floor, rip her clothes off and ravage her in a most ungentlemanly fashion (but always with care and respect). THIS would be the time to talk dirty, how I couldn't wait another second, had to have her, had to unleash my lust, etc.

So it has to do with understanding the boundaries of the moment and the kind of love making that the two of you are enjoying.

If you truly love and TRUST them, then it is probably an issue of insecurity on your part. Unfortunately, this is very common for women. And harks back to so many other things (history of men treating women badly, lack of respect, unrealistic societal pressures and expectations, etc.). Fodder for any number of new threads there.

If you do love and trust him, then talk to him. And learn to love and trust yourself. If you can achieve both of those, you and your partner will not only be closer, you will enjoy some incredibly intense moments of lust and released passion that you might have been missing...

Good luck to you both.
Click to expand...

I think you are right on on all issues/parts. Very well said. The funny thing is: I don't think of myself as an insecure person overall and yet I am sometimes. I think it has something to do with feeling vulnerable during sex and intimacy and, yes, bad experiences in the past. Lots of them. My current partner can't help that but the guard is way (way!) up. There's a little bit of the risk of not being seen as ladylike etc anymore that plays a part too. Also, I feel very strong about certain words myself (and I'm not even considering myself a softy here) which I would not want someone to say to me because it would either kill the mood or I would just be plain offended by them. Also, men have to know when they can say certain things and when not, like you seem to do.

Thanks for your reply :rose:

Hey, by the way... you were the Queensday-guy! Plans for the next one?
 
Thank you all for your replies. I think this is the place for me when I need advice. You are all really awesome and helpful.

I have to work today, but I plan to come back and spend more time reading your opinions and advice and might even have some more questions of my own.

Again, you are all terrific to be so helpful.
 
A Desert Rose said:
LOL... I don't think so. I don't know.

Well, I can write to CDs on this computer, I do know that.
Click to expand...


If you can "write to" CD's on your computer you have a CD-burner (same difference).
 
Thank you all for these fabulous links and wonderful advice.

I'll be busy, when I finally get home again, surfing the net. I can promise you that.

You guys are just awesome! And so is Blue Dolphin!
 
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