New Story: A Different Angle

A Different Angle (Mature) Catherine's older tutor gives her a sexy geometry lesson

I'd be interested to hear what anyone had to say about this story I just submitted... I struggled with category for this one... there's anal sex in it (the "different angle" ) but it's not really hard enough for the "anal" category... it's a first time, but not really... so I threw it in Mature...

appreciate any and all feedback, thx!

Review

This review is my opinion, only, and is not, in anyway meant to be affiliated with truth:

I'll be honest with you, to start with the good, I was fairly impressed as to the coherence and the development of the characters...such as it was. Additionally, I appreciate you ending where you did and fading to black. That was an excellent beat to step out on. The story did an excellent job of holding together.

I felt the british aspect of David, especially as it would appear occasionally in his speech, rather hackneyed. That should've been cut or reworded very strongly. The coherence is undermined occasionally with abrupt transitions, and as in most stories in this particular milleu, things work out far more readily than I feel is tasteful. There were some grammar and spelling mistakes. No big deal.

The entire story while technically adequate, lacks any real definition from the bulk of stories in the genre. I think that if you spent more time working the characters together, you might've been able to come up with something really tasty. The title fits excellently with the content (imagine that), and I have to admit, even my blackened heart was warmed with a chuckle at a certain point.

Paj may have been interesting and in my opinion there isn't enough interaction in most stories I have read between the sexual actors and the non-sexual plot devices/characters.

Not a bad first effort. I was gentle.

-D-

I was gentle.

Click to expand...

Thank you for being gentle

In terms of the category... like I said, I tossed it into Mature... I didn't really write it FOR mature... most of my stories just end up being what they are, and I have to try to fit them into a Lit box... in other words, I rarely write for audience, I write just to tell the story...

but thank you very much for your feedback, I really appreciate it!

SelenaKittyn said:

A Different Angle (Mature) Catherine's older tutor gives her a sexy geometry lesson

I'd be interested to hear what anyone had to say about this story I just submitted... I struggled with category for this one... there's anal sex in it (the "different angle" ) but it's not really hard enough for the "anal" category... it's a first time, but not really... so I threw it in Mature...

appreciate any and all feedback, thx!

Click to expand...

Yes, picking categories can be a challenge, can't it?


I thought the concept was very clever, and I'm certain that the ratio of math to sex is unsurpassed in literotica's history. I loved the humor that made David a very likable character and I very much enjoyed the unveiling of Catherine as well. The foreplay was so beautifully done that the actual sex could not help but pale in comparison.

I'll be surprised if you don't get flak about the category, but I think you put it where it belongs, so to speak. The only negative that comes to mind is that it reminded me how much I loathed geometry in high school, and prayed I'd never have to use it again.

Selena,

You're certaintly welcome. You happen to have any poetry?? I'm a collector of sorts. I love to read poems, especially minimalist ones...I hope you don't find it to exploitative that I'm asking you, and not just reading your profile pages.

Mr. Watts: Excellent sig. It does me a world of good to know that your pinkies are stoutly elevated, bringing us all a little closer to decency and good sense. Keep it going!

Happy to help you hurt,
-D-

I hate having to try and pick a category. Really good stories just don't naturally fit into only one tiny category, and your story is definitely really good. Although not a perfect fit Mature does work.

I read the story because of your problems at putting it in a category, even though to be honest I don't care for that type of story. Once I started reading it though your character development was able to draw me into the story. As someone who despised math in school I loved the way you brought it into the story, encorporating it completely. As already mentioned there are afew minor spelling/grammar errors, but overall the story is superb.

My only complaint is against David pushing her to have sex, even though it was clear she wasn't ready, but even that was very well written. I do agree that David's British language could have been focused on a bit more, but even that is good as it is. I expected to hear more from Paj towards the end of the story, which makes me wonder if you plan on writing a second part to it or anything? It would be interesting to hear Paj's story.

Anyways, your story is, without question, above "average" and you should definitely be proud of it. I can't wait to read more of your writing.

Thanks Vamp, I really appreciate the feedback...

as for poetry, yes, Devil, I have some poems on lit... although I'm no poet, I warn you!!

You can find them all HERE

Hi Selena,

I read most of the first page of your story. Since I didn't finish it, my inclination was to not respond, but after sleeping on it for a week I decided that knowing where and why a reader gave up on a story may be more valuable than twenty comments of the type, "Wow. You really made me so wet..."

I do hope you won't take it as a slam; most stories I quit after several paragraphs. You almost lost me there too, I think you'd have been better served to simply omit those first two paragraphs. The problem, to me, is that it's all telling and that made it pretty dry.

With "Paj, they're getting me a tutor," Cat lamented the story came to life for me. I adored the interaction, both in the scene with Paj and, later, with David. Some parts made me smile, others made me curious, but I enjoyed both scenes and wanted more.

But then you started to lose me again here: And so that's how the torture began every day, with a little sweetness, washed down with a warm dose of tea, following by an excruciating hour of math-induced hell. Cat threw books across the room, tore papers in half, swore...

I really wanted to see Cat throw the books and swear, and see how David reacted. I felt cheated. Please take it as something of a compliment that I wanted to see more of your characters.

When they kissed after this exposition and a brief scene that felt, I'm afraid, contrived, I lost interest. I didn't know what she was really feeling or why she was kissing him and thus I really didn't care.

I skimmed the first erotic scene. For the most part, it looked pretty hot. If I'd understood her better, I might have been right there with her.

From what I read, I thought the category choice appropriate, but anal or first time would have probably been ok too.

Hope some of that helps.

Take Care,
Penny

Thanks for your thoughts, Penny. Much appreciated!