Blowjob Etiquette

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not
standard
practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I
heard,
deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on
your
dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through
your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex
right
now.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls -
if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me
I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards
is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in
the
future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the
origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're
good at
it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
jobs
often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
sympathize
or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
"kiss
it good morning".

You obviously need a better-quality, less selfish lover, girl.

Did you write that?

I should write my own version.

I object to #3, #4, and #6

As well as #14 and #16

Lux... as always, you are a HOOT!

great thread.
I insist that you add
I don't care if tyou think these goggles look stupid, it's either the goggles or you get no mouth time.

morewickedfun said:

great thread.
I insist that you add
I don't care if tyou think these goggles look stupid, it's either the goggles or you get no mouth time.

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EEEEW!

Jimi6996 said:

You obviously need a better-quality, less selfish lover, girl.

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didn't write it

have no such lover


can deep throat and dig cum on the face and stuff so it wouldn't apply


yeah it was for amusement . I found it amusing.

Soixante - NEUF!

-phreak said:

didn't write it

have no such lover


can deep throat and dig cum on the face and stuff so it wouldn't apply


yeah it was for amusement . I found it amusing.

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Cool. I've always felt oral sex to be a mutual pastime, anyway, eh?

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it the first time we're together.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.and remember that it is as good to give as it is to receive.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not
standard practice to cum on someone's face. but its fine every so often just avoid the eyes of you can.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.but I will do it every so often because I know how much it turns you on.

5. My ears are NOT handles.so hold them gently

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I
heard, deep throat had been done.a subtle cue is fine it just takes a second to relax and get some air first. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?even if you ask real nice... I'm just not into that.

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.until after my finger is out of your rectum.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex
right now. Take some Pamprin ya wuss.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. Then he'll be sure to think about those porn images the next time he's with you because they are far more exciting.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.hair removal involves giggles and smiles.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.men are men... deal.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.Maybe he likes to hear about it.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.Kiss him with a mouthfull.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.that would depend on what's on the screen.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.His friends might be hot though.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to"kiss" it good morning". Maybe not every morning but often is good.

yeah. exactly.

Should the boys still tap on your shoulder before the Happy Ending?

It has been so long. So fucking long.

Ok - um - if you want ME to give you a blow job - forget everyone of those rules... we don't need no stinking rules!

SaintPeter said:

Should the boys still tap on your shoulder before the Happy Ending?

It has been so long. So fucking long.

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Since you have tapped out or got oral lovin?

I can tell when he's going to come wihout the tap. Words are nice though... oh baby that feels so good... just a little more...

Phreak, that is fucking hilarious, im crying in hysterics!

How about an etiquette from a male's perspective?



1. If you want to give head, just ask, you will NOT get knocked back!

2. Yes, your teeth do fucking hurt!

3. Girls swallowing cum is HOT!!!!

4. See rule 3.

5. If you don't want sore ears then have ponytails, we need something to hang onto.

6. We only make you gag because your sooo good at it!

7. YES, YOUR FUCKING TEETH DO FUCKING HURT!!!!

8. Comments about the extreme size of our cocks always helps with the pleasure.

9. Talking dirty like the naughty, cockslave slut you are will always make things end quicker.

Anymore?

I like Curious Jack's rules much better. BTW - do our teeth really hurt?

-phreak said:

1. First and foremost, most of the time I'm more than happy to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, remember it's nice to return the favour

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, I wanna repeat it.

4. Extension to rule #3 - See rule three

5. My ears are NOT handles. Be free to pull my hair. Mohawks are convinient in that way, you know .....ooh memories

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. I'll probably deep throat you anyways but I only do that at my own pace.

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. Wait till I'm finished with you

8. Having my period usually means I'll give you a blowjob cause you can't have sex with me, depending on my mood. I'm nice like that. lol.

9. Extension to #8 - when I'm through please fuck me. Hard.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me
I've just "wrecked it" for you.I'd probably laugh and you can laugh along cause laughing is healthy shit.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards
is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in
the
future.

12. If you like how I do it, thanks, I know I'm good

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good coming from most people. Give me some of your beer afterwards and I'll be a happy chicky.

14. TV? What happened to good old porn?

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
jobs
often enough, laugh at them and their bitches of girlfriends who won't give them enough.

16. If it's awake when you wake up....well I just might give you a great start in the day. Not always

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there. I edited it to express my opinions. Now quit bitchin

crazybbwgirl said:

I like Curious Jack's rules much better. BTW - do our teeth really hurt?

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Yes, but sometimes that's good.

rimmy said:

Yes, but sometimes that's good.

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ahhh - good to know!

This is why you are on of my favorite people on LIT!!!

crazybbwgirl said:

Ok - um - if you want ME to give you a blow job - forget everyone of those rules... we don't need no stinking rules!

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You Rock!!!!!

Holden

limodrivinslut said:

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.until after my finger is out of your rectum.

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Best addition ever.

Ah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Girl you are a riot.

3. Girls swallowing cum is HOT!!!!

8. Comments about the extreme size of our cocks always helps with the pleasure.

9. Talking dirty like the naughty, cockslave slut you are will always make things end quicker.

Anymore?

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Enthusiasm - The more you show the faster it will go!

Holden

HoldenMcCrank said:

You Rock!!!!!

Holden

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It just never ceases to amaze me how squeemish women can get about the whole blow job thing. Oh - don't mess up my make up! Oh - you're ruining my hair! Oh - cum is gross!

I say if you're gonna give a blow job - shut up and give a blow job! Every man knows the most important thing about a good blow job is the attitude of the woman. She could at least ACT like she was enjoying it.

I sure wouldn't want to receive oral from somebody who wasn't enjoying it. That's the whole point isn't it?