attempting anal

the only bad question is one not asked, right? so, almost a bit embarrassed to ask, but i got over it. here goes...

my long-distance gf & i have discussed adding anal the next time we get together. i've never & she's never. i've seen & she's seen. but...

doing it is another story. i wanna do it right, i want it to feel good. i don't wanta mess it up or hurt or anything else that can go wrong.

so, dear lit friends, tell me what you know.

what's your best advice for me on the subject?

thanks much.

well, there's a thread about it in the blank manual. just so we're clear, you're talking about her receiving, right? cuz if you mean the other way around, there's links in the blank manual here and here.

have either of you had any experience at all with anal? this might make for a difference in the kinds of answers you get.

ed

silverwhisper said:

well, there's a thread about it in the blank manual. just so we're clear, you're talking about her receiving, right? cuz if you mean the other way around, there's links in the blank manual here and here.

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Um, don't think that you're being a little rude and condescending?

Sheesh! Some people don't ever learn.

her receiving

& my giving, yes.

adamman: if there's still stuff that isn't addressed there, go right ahead and ask, dude. lube is essential, but i think every response in those threads say the same. there's a question as to whether or not an enema is a good idea. all i'm gonna say is shower together beforehand. :>

eilan, clearly your reading comprehension is simply not up to the task of catching the subtle nuances of my comments.

ed

adamman said:

doing it is another story. i wanna do it right, i want it to feel good. i don't wanta mess it up or hurt or anything else that can go wrong.

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Lube is your friend. When you think you have enough, add more. Take your cues from your girlfriend, and go slowly.

My first experience was pretty positive, but I think that's because I didn't plan to try it at that time, so I didn't have a chance to get nervous. It may not be perfect the first time, particularly if you're both overly worried about making it perfect.

Good luck.

silverwhisper said:

eilan, clearly your reading comprehension is simply not up to the task of catching the subtle nuances of my comments.

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*nods* Clearly. Why do I even bother?

thanks

thanks for those links, ed. i'll leave this thread up, however, for anyone who wants to add their new comments for me (or the lit world) to read.

shower, you said, yes.

but what about, um-uh... using the toilet beforehand to... you know... is that essential? necessary? helpful?

adamman: yeah, you probably should take care of bathroom-related stuff prior although the shower should address the cleanliness thing. it's the same reason that some people swear by enemas. i've always thought that a bit extreme, personally, but hey, different folks and all that.

eilan: bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

ed

favorite lube?

Thanks much, Eilan. Gotta love a hot housewife with a naughty side & a great avatar.

Have you got a favorite lube?

Lubrication, lubrication, lubrication. I like that generic Ky jelly stuff.

There was a thread about lubes a little while ago ( https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=349962 ), Wet brand looks promising.

It's definitely best if she prepares herself first. See:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=327313

Good luck!!!

adamman said:

so, dear lit friends, tell me what you know.

what's your best advice for me on the subject?

thanks much.

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If you want the experience to be as good for her as it is for you, try this:
Go get your common vibrator, the cheaper the better. Lube it up real good with KY. Now relax and push it up your ass as fast as you can. Think about how that feels for a few minutes and remember what everybody else said about going REAL slow.
Trust me on this one. Get it right the first time and there will be a second time.

adamman said:

Thanks much, Eilan. Gotta love a hot housewife with a naughty side & a great avatar.

Click to expand...

silverwhisper said:

it's the same reason that some people swear by enemas. i've always thought that a bit extreme, personally, but hey, different folks and all that.

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I've only had one experience with enemas, and I was 10 years old and in the ER at the time. So for me at least, the prospect of an enema is more daunting than the prospect of a mess.

Other people's mileage can and does vary.

Hopes no one minds if I butt in here!

I'm not a big fan of enema's, if everyone is healthy, there is not much reason for it, and the salts in enema's can strip the natural protective mucous lining in the rectum and cause discomfort, which can be exacerbated by anal sex. If one does want to use an enema, or is into that as part of foreplay...or as a kink in itself..use plain pure water. As suggested, a good number two, and some careful attention in the shower should be all that's needed.

Also, I do not think there is any such thing as going too slow your first time, and communicate through out the whole process, stay checked in with your partner, especially after the experience. Keys to success are knowledge, relaxation, lube and patience.

Here is somethng to consider. Depending on the woman, anal can be such an intense emotional and physical experience that occasionally I have see a few (not all by any means) first timers get a "dizzy" or very "spaced" out reaction afterwards, sometimes well after, which may ..or may not... be disconcerting for her. So perhaps go light the first time, don't over do it the first time even if things are going really really well.. let some time pass to process the whole effect. Relax, go slow, be lanquid, enjoy. You got all the time in the world.

Everyone has provided really good info! I totally confirm and endorse everything Halo_n_horns wrote in his fantastic link. Check this out too:

http://www.sexuality.org/authors/morin/analrule.html

adamman said:

i wanna do it right, i want it to feel good. i don't wanta mess it up or hurt or anything else that can go wrong.

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My first few experiences with anal years ago were mixed. Then, my husband and I tried several times and could never quite get it right (i.e. pain-free). Eventually, after more than six years together and lots of playing with toys, reading and trying, we were successful.

My point is that we learned by doing it WRONG so many times. We weren't relaxed enough, the lube was wrong, the position we were set on wasn't working, he was too forceful, we just didn't seem ready even though we felt we were. But we kept trying and screwing up, and eventually got it very, very right.

So, I think if you're worried about it being great the first time, you may be setting yourself up for failure because it's highly likely that it'll take many times to figure out exactly what works for both of you. My advice (in addition to everyone else's) would be to go into it with a 'we're going to explore something new and exciting, and we may very well have to keep trying all of the different combinations over a long period of time in order to make it work, but that'll be fun' attitude.

I would suggest her spread on her back and you on your knees in front of her the first time. You can see her face to gauge her reaction and will have easy access to her clit and boobs. I recommend lots of clit massage leading up to and during.

Oh, and put a pillow under her bottom and have her knees raised up to her chest.

good advice

SweetErika said:

My first few experiences with anal years ago were mixed. Then, my husband and I tried several times and could never quite get it right (i.e. pain-free). Eventually, after more than six years together and lots of playing with toys, reading and trying, we were successful.

My point is that we learned by doing it WRONG so many times. We weren't relaxed enough, the lube was wrong, the position we were set on wasn't working, he was too forceful, we just didn't seem ready even though we felt we were. But we kept trying and screwing up, and eventually got it very, very right.

So, I think if you're worried about it being great the first time, you may be setting yourself up for failure because it's highly likely that it'll take many times to figure out exactly what works for both of you. My advice (in addition to everyone else's) would be to go into it with a 'we're going to explore something new and exciting, and we may very well have to keep trying all of the different combinations over a long period of time in order to make it work, but that'll be fun' attitude.

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Erika,
Thanks for the good advice. I believe you are right on--in addition to all the "how to" advice--there must be an openness and willingness to explore and see how it goes. That adventerous, no-pressure attitude should further
ease any nerves and make for a much better experience.
xoxoA

ladies, tell me about the feeling

here's another related questions for the ladies among us with good experience in this area.

tell me about the feeling for you as a woman while your man is inside of you? how is it pleasurable? what makes it more or less pleasurable?

i want all the advice i can get.

thanks much.

adamman said:

tell me about the feeling for you as a woman while your man is inside of you? how is it pleasurable? what makes it more or less pleasurable?

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Intense is the best word I can think of to describe it. My first few times were like Erika's...horribly painful, causing us to wait long periods of time between attempts.

For my husband and I, the key was lots and lots and lots of foreplay. Once I was worked up enough, I was able to view the sloooow entry as tantalizing, instead of nerve-wracking. As for lubrication, I've tried a number of brands and found Wet Light to be best for me. It's very long-lasting, condom-safe, and it's water-based, so it's easy to clean up.

We've also discovered that it's best for us to start off in a spooning position (on our sides, with him entering me from behind). Once we've started, switching to other positions is much easier, as I'm more relaxed.

I particularly like it when my husband talks dirty to me while we're having sex (anal especially). He loves it when I finger myself and he can feel me stroke him through the walls of my vagina.

Anal's not for everyone, but it sounds like you and your girlfriend are off to a good start. Being able to talk to each other about it is probably the single most important aspect of it (well, right up there with lots o' lube). Keep an open mind, and don't expect it to go perfectly for both or either of you. At least you're going into it armed with plenty of knowledge...some of the threads linked above are fabulously helpful. Good luck, and enjoy!

intense

intense, i am guessing so. thanks, lynxie.

that helps me better understand. i guess what i am after is the, "what's the big deal?" or "does it feel that good?," type question.

i wouldn't even wanna try if it was simply the experience of another place to put a penis--i wanna make sure that it can/will feel good for her.

adamman said:

...i guess what i am after is the, "what's the big deal?" or "does it feel that good?," type question....

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It is a matter of anatomy, and therefore can be different for different women.

There are two basic types of stimulation. The kind that comes from rubbing and lighter forms of touching, like rubbing the clit or nipples, and the type that comes more from pressure, like vaginal or g-spot stimulation. It has to do with the type and where the nerve receptors are, if they are more toward the surface, or deeper in the tissue.

Anal tends to intensify the pressure type stimulation. Both the vagina and the anus are most sensitive at the openings because that is where the surface receptors are, pressure receptors are deeper inside.

The walls of the vagina and the anus are very close together, also there are some nerves in the vagina that wrap around and are best stimulated from anal side.
Also, the ganglia bundle that is at the end of the spinal cord under the tailbone in some people can be stimulated by anal sex, that gives a powerful "whole body" sort of rush... and this is suspected to be the origin of the shocky feeling some women can get from anal sex, since that nerve bundle connects to the heart, lower brain...etc. I have oversimplified some things here, there is a lot of info about this on the net and the better anal sex books. In the male, there is the prostate, so that along with that big ganglia bundle anal sex for a guy can produce slightly different... but similar intense pleasures..

Bottom line, yes it feels good! Many women get some of their most intense orgasms from this. This is a sexual activity that really is worth learning as much as you can.

You really need to experiment on yourself with a dildo or something to get answers to the question of "What is the big deal.. How does it feel"...especially before you try doing it with a gal. This is universally recommended for all anal sex newbies... Experiment with size and depth etc. If after experimenting with that you still do not understand what it is all about...you need more practice!

If you include prostate stimulation in your experiments, you can get an acceptable analogue to the way if feels for the woman... and what won't work or will be painful.

A further note. Porn is the worst way in the world to learn anything about anal sex. Those women have extensively trained themselves to take it as big and as vigorously as they do...

Good luck!

well

Every body is built differently, and has different experiences...

My recommendation is this.

Have your GF get a SMALL butt plug. Encourage her to stimulate herself regularly (every day) and THEN use her plug AFTER she's fully turned on. Try it with lube and without...but only AFTER she's fully turned on. Even have her watch anal sex vids that turn her on, and imagine its YOU so that she is mentally stimulated for the act before she uses her anal toy.

Then after she's comfortable with the sensation of something back there...it could take days or MONTHS...plan a date together.
ALWAYS (from my exp. ) make sure she is dripping wet turned on BEFORE you try anal...do whatever it takes to make her crazy turned on.
My first anal hurt a little, but my SO went slow. He inserted slightly, and then waited for me to relax before continuing.

Me personally, I don't need lube if I'm fully turned on and wanting anal...but everyone is different.

My first anal hurt a little, but my SO went slow. He inserted slightly, and then waited for me to relax before continuing.

Good luck,
Gia

take it slowly! lol my man hurt me the first time but now its totally fine. i say fine but i mean fantastic. i love it. especially wen my hands r tied, that just gives the ultimate feeling of submission--- AMAZING!!