Whips and Chains, Training...restart. (Open but PM me to join.)

Ooc: We are restarting the idea for this thread. Elise is now single. We are looking for the following characters;

A Master and Mistress who will take Elise in and train her.

One or more possible love interests for Elise.

One or more handlers.

More Dominant types to whom she and others may be loaned and who may or may not bring their own subs when they come into the Master's and Mistress's training compound.

Others who may be in various states of training.

Club regulars, (Marian) and newbies.

Any other characters that you can think of.

This should be a HARD core thread and is based on the story, Tales From Subspace by NIGHTQUEEN1963. Please do not ask to join if you have not read at the first least five pages of this story!

Though romance can and should happen within the story, the Dom and Domme should be both caring and HARD Core!

PM me to join! I really want this restart to be true to the above mentioned story in theme.

Here is the link to the source and inspiration for this thread.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=84817

Now come on, let's play, with good writing (in paragraph form), and play fucking HARD!

Thanks!

FurryFury

PS: The OLD thread is here if you want to look:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=338518


IC:

Elise and Tony had broken up. The house was sold. The divorce took eight months. It ended with a whimper. Elise lost her mind for a while. She also lost her job.

Imogene and Claymore offered Elise and Tony what support they could. They did not like what had happened. They did not train either of them further. Neither Tony or Elise ever attended the party.

Elise got a job as a bartender at the BDSM club.

She lived in a small efficiency apartment. Her bed was on the floor. The walls were white. The wooden floors gleamed. The dishes were clear cobalt plastic. She mostly ate with sporks from fast food places.

She decorated with spray painted black barbed wire instead of crown molding. From that she hung bright, plastic, crystal-like jewels. She kept nothing from her prior life except an interest in BDSM and her pain.

At the club she kept her head down, watched and waited. Maybe someday she would be able to connect to another again. Maybe she would be able to trust. She might even learn more about the life, in fact she planned to be sure of it.

During this time she found out she was stronger that she ever imagined. She began to kick herself for what she had allowed her life to become before now. That was both a good and bad thing. She was proud of her newfound strength, but it made it harder to think about submitting, something for which she still yearned avidly.

Sex consisted of masturbation for her now. She often thought about the night Claymore had sat in a booth with her, touching nothing more than her hand and made her come.

It was a busy Friday night in the Club. Elise stood behind the bar cleaning it up while that bitch Marion made drinks and flirted. Elise looked almost like a gray mouse, compared to the flashy swan like imagine that Marion made.

Her eyes sparkled in the low track lights on the rare occasions she lifted them. Her outfit consisted of a black bra like top and a short stiff black vinyl flared skirt. She wore fish nets and stilettos which she was only now becoming used to wearing most nights.

Her blonde hair shone in the lights, even in the tight pony tail, she kept it in. It was covered with a long piece of black leather on the tail part of her hair but a few wisps framed her face.

Whereas Marion was in a short red body suit with cut outs on her sides, over her tits and crotch. She had a small whip attached to her belt and thigh high red stiletto boots.

Elise smiled shyly at a couple who lingered at the bar. He seemed very Dominant but so did the woman with him. They were ignoring Marion despite the slut's best efforts to cozy up to them. They seemed interested in Elise.

"Can I get you something?" Elise asked the couple when Marion got mad and loudly announced she was going on break.

"There is certainly no one fun here I'm taking it up with my double penetrating vibrator." The tart said flashing her ass as she walked off. Doing what Elise thought of as "Master Baiting." It often worked too getting Marion just what she wanted.

Elise was left blushing in her wake. She wondered if the couple before her would ever speak. Elise watched them as their attention flitted to the impudent Marion and then back to Elise. Quickly she brought her eyes down. The pink again traveling up into her face.

Ooc:

No one wants to play a Hard core Dom or Domme?

I bet someone does.

Come on now!

You know who you are and you know you want to.

Come play with me and as many others as we can get.


Fury

That night in her tiny apartment Elise lay in bed. She was on her right side. Her right arm hanging off the bed, so long and limp. She tried to sleep but was having a hard time of it. It occurred to her that if she did what she had thought of so many times, then that arm, so white in the darkened room could be running red and slick with blood. What would that feel like she wondered? Hot from the fresh flow or cold from being wet in the night air?

She imagined feeling the viscous fluid flowing out of her, feeling the life just leave her body. She imagined the peace of oblivion. The lack of struggle, the utter blackness appealed to her. She smiled in the dark. She could almost see the red flow down her arm in her mind's eye.

It reminded her of the candle wax she had played with the other day. She had seen people playing with it at the club. So the other day she took a candle off of her mantle. She lit it and just stared at the flame for a while. Once a pool of liquid wax had built up, she got a towel and placed it on the hardwood floor. Kneeling she poured the wax on her nipples. It flowed down her body. She hadn't planned that the candle be red. Elise hadn't thought about it looking like blood. Still she was pleased with the effect that she saw. She watched the wax flow warmly down her body then was facinated as it got hard. She had worried about clean up but once it was hard and dry, it easily came off. That made her kind of sad even as she was relieved.

She had gotten up and brought some ice from the freezer. Bringing the plastic ice cube tray over to her towel she popped an ice cube out and played with it up, over her nipples, around her tits, up to her lips, then down to her clit. She put it inside and held it there, it actually felt much better inside her than in her fingers which were nearly numb already. So she closed her lower lips and felt it melt then slowly leak out the trickle feeling almost warm. So many ice cubes she thought smiling at those memories.

Laying in bed she thought about that afternoon over and over again, how she had done it just before she had gone to work. She was picking up as many shifts as she could now. Not just for the money but also to watch what went on in the club.

That wasn't all of it, of course. She also hoped to meet people at the club that would be interested in her. People she could trust, who would train her, maybe give her a reason to live. Elise knew that wasn't likely. She was now a single female with issues and baggage. Lord, how far she had fallen in the past year. She sighed and turned over on her stomach.

Her mind flashed through images of broken glass, Tony, Imogene and Claymore, of sunset beaches and whips. How the hell did I go so wrong? She wondered. I had a career, a beautiful home and a wonderful husband, now it's all gone just because of what I feel deep inside, what I need to have and explore? Or am I just a broken thing no one can care about? She wondered.

Flipping back onto her back she pushed a hand down her smooth body. My skin is so soft, and so fucking unused, she thought. Her hand rested on her smooth mound. It felt great shaven but no one will ever know. A tear fell out of her right eye. Gods I'm so tired of all this, she thought. No more anger, no more self pity, just move on, she told herself.

Her left thumb hooked over her left hip bone, her other hand was touching her concave stomach. Ain't gravity beautiful sometimes she thought. At her age, her stomach is not always flat, much less concave but right at that moment it felts beautiful. Right then she felt beautiful. It's a lovely fleeting feeling gone all too soon.

She fell asleep finally dreaming of being suspended and flogged. Her dreams kept her warm and hopeful until she woke up safe and alone in her Spartan bed.

She went through the motions of the day, eating, cleaning, shopping, and exercising. Finally she put on her little emerald green leather skirt and pulled back her hair. She smiled at the high heals she had to wear, then walked on the stilts down the street the club. She put her coat and things away and started cleaning up the bar.

Damn Marion, she thought. Marion was closing up the night before or supposed to be but the bar was a mess. She cleaned it up then began cutting up lemons and limes, stocking the bar with olives, pearl onions, cherries and booze. Soon the bar was stocked and ready. People starting filtering in slowly, but within a few hours, it was clear that the night would proceed at a steady pace. She watched each person come into her area wishing but never quite believing that anyone would pull her to them the way she wanted and ached for.

Elise sat during her break at the table she and Claymore had shared her first night here as a newbie. She drank her ice water. Closing her eyes she thought back to that night when she was already hurt but full of fresh promise. When he had made her come without really touching her. Hands didn't count. She wanted it back, her old life in that instant.

She wanted to be Imogene. She wanted to give her man everything and be absolutely secure in his care. She tried hard not to laugh bitterly. Her eyes were sad and distant.

She was still a newbie in so many ways. Elise imagined she was giving off signals that kept people away. Perhaps her signals said, Warning contents under pressure? She shook her head, checked her watch and went back to work.

Some night, I'll meet someone, maybe even a couple and like a stray puppy that's so ugly it's cute, they will decide to take me home. She muses. Of course she wasn't ugly she only felt that way. Anyone would say she was attractive, some might even say beautiful, but what woman believes such things?

She watched again as the rope lord did his magic. I want that. She thought. I should just ask him one night. One of his lackey's came over and got a drink for him.

"I love what he does." She was brave enough to say.

"Yeah? So does most everyone. Be a good little Girl Scout and practice your knots, maybe someday, he'll test you." The lackey said laughing when Elise's eyes widened and he walked off.

The rest of Elise's shift dragged on. She was getting to be an excellent bartender. Still watching the world go by in leather and chains was hard. Not being apart of that which she most desired, not being desired, all of it was getting to her. Her spirits were flagging but she tried to put on a brave, cheerful front in public.

Elise was home again. It was 4:40 am. She was tired and discouraged. Watching the circus like parade of revelers and not being part of it was getting harder every damn night. She looked in the mirror as she put her keys down. She didn't think she looked so bad. There was no sign she could see that said, broken, keep away! Why did no one want to play with her? Her tummy grumbled so she went to the galley kitchen.

Looking in the fridge she saw some left over salad from lunch, pulled it out, added green olives and more homemade olive oil and lemon juice herb vinaigrette. It didn't taste as good now as it had fresh but with her spork, she finished it off.

What else should I eat? She wondered. She got a spoon out and the peanut butter. One spoonful was heaven. She drank some water and wondered about desert.

Oh! Yes! One spoonful of Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch Ice Cream was just perfect. Now it's time for some wine. She thought. She got a large goblet and poured a generous amount of red wine. Looking into the dark green bottle she thought, I'd like to drown in the bottom of this bottle, just sink into darkness and be gone.

She kicked off the stilettos as she walked to the bathroom. Padding across the wooden floor in her stockinged feet, she enjoyed the sudden cold tile when she got the bathroom. The tile was small black and white pieces. Elise pulled off her work clothes and threw some in the hamper but hung up the leather on pegs above the hamper. She turned on the facets in the claw footed bathtub. She poured in bubble bath and lit some candles. The old porcelain tub was cold until the water warmed it. She stepped in when she thought it was warmed enough and even then there was a slight chill from the tub's bottom.

She leaned back, trying to relax and just shut her brain off. The hard rounded edge of the tub just wasn't comfortable on her neck. She drank from her wine glass but some of the red wine sloshed over into the tub. She watched the red liquid flow and mix with the suds and bubbles. It was an interesting effect. How much better would blood be she wondered? She set the goblet down on a small table beside her tub. Out of a basket attached to the tub she got the soap and ran it over her legs and arms.

She looked at the blade beside the wine glass. She always kept it near. It had been a treasure in the family for decades. Elise had recently had it sharpened. She had polished the silver handle until it gleamed. Also on the table was one of Tony's old razor blades. One that had never been used.

She cleaned her body. Played with the soap suds feeling the elasticity of them between her hands. Elise drank her wine and looked at the book. It had all of her secret desires written in it. All of her dreams. The ones that she now was all but certain would never be.

Elise wanted to be loved. She was very lonely. The only problem was, now without Tony she wasn't sure she believed in love. How can I want something so badly that I am not even sure exists? She wondered to herself.

She dried her hands and picked up her book. It was backed in a pale peach silk taffeta. The pages she had not written on were plain white and unlined. She wrote for a while. As she wrote about her desires and losses, she got even sadder.

Thoughts of cutting again entered her mind. Not cutting to relieve pain. No. Cutting to relieve life. She tried to think of a reason not to. Who would be left that would care and be hurt? She would never want to hurt anyone. Who would be glad she was gone? She wouldn't want to make anyone glad that way either.

She imagined, cutting along the veins in her wrists. The sharp pain of the cuts. The blue blood hitting and mixing to red thick drips in the air. Warm and flowing in the warm water which would help her continue to bleed out. Elise thought of how the water would look when she emptied herself into it. How peaceful it would be to sink below the water and simply cease.

Eventually the water cooled. Elise blew out the candles. She put away her glass and cleaned up her tiny apartment, then went to bed, only to torture herself more with thought.

The next morning she couldn't face the loneliness any more. She went to Cool Beans for coffee and a bagel just to be around other people. She tried to look cheerful as she spread the cream cheese on her bagel and added grape jam. Her Cafe' Au Lait was nice and steamy. She looked up when her arm was jostled by a man's walking by. She smiled and nodded to let him know everything was okay and she wasn't upset about being jostled in the small cafe by him.

His eyes held power and she was immediately drawn to him. His strong profile was, to her, beautiful. She wanted to reach out and stroke his jaw. He turned back to her, his blue eyes sparkled with serenity and amusement.

"Oh sorry!" He said then looked at her in small recognition. "Else?" He asked.

"Elise." She replied placing him now from the club. He came in with two ladies most of the time. She remembered wanting to be on the end of one of his leashes before, she thought sadly.

"Right. The new bartender. Mind if I sit down?" He said, not waiting for her reply he sat and flashed his white teeth at her. "Listen I've watched you some and I can tell you have a lot of desire for that life style and exploration but Elise, you seem so sad. You know, I don't want to make you uncomfortable but you are a lovely lady with a lot to offer. I've heard some things about you. You aren't ready yet. I know you think you are but you need to get your emotions and mind in a better place before you get into all this."

Elise flushed pink and squirmed, wondering who had been talking about her and what they had been saying. She'd bet dollars to donuts it was that damned bitch Marian. That woman seemed to take great pleasure in ruining Elise's life whenever she could.

Now all Elise felt was mortification. She wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Here she was actually talking to a dream she wanted and he said this? She looked up into his eyes and wanted to beg. She wanted to say, I want it now, I need this now. Her eyes said, please understand, please care. She started to speak but he held up a hand.

"No don't take this the wrong way but I happen to be a therapist. If you'd like to call my office and set an appointment, maybe we could help give you the toolset to deal with your feelings and needs before you get into something you aren't ready for. Believe me there are people who will take you into places that are dangerous for you. Dangerous due to your current mind set and needs as well as their lack of knowledge and experience. If not me then my secretary can give you some referrals to others. I just think you need someone to reach out to you."

Tears slid silently and easily out of Elise's eyes. They were fat hot tears and she shook her head, brushing them away with her hands.

"I already tried therapy. She wanted to cure me of my sick obsession with such things. I may need help. I admit that, but I want what I want and I don't think it's sick. I don't want to be cured of it."

He nodded and smiled reassuringly which made his handsome strong face a hundred degrees more attractive. She wanted to swoon. Too bad he thinks I'm a loon she thought.

"The person you were seeing probably wasn't kink friendly Elise. You need someone who is. Just think about it. Here is my card. Ask around at the club or in professional circles about me if you wish but I really think you need some guidance from someone. Anyway, think about it. I'm not trying to drum up business. I just hate to see beautiful things stay battered and bruised, then wither from neglect. You seem too near the edge for your own health. Take care of better yourself regardless okay?" With that, in one smooth motion, he dropped his card on the table, rose and walked away.

Elise blinked. She felt out of sorts as she began to think about what she really wanted from him, not therapy, that was for sure. She wanted him to spank her maybe, fuck her certainly tie her up and flog her or just care about her. He radiated care. Therapy, she mused, yes I could use it, but she shrank from the idea. It was such a hard process. A push pull of introspection, painful reflection on the best and the worst things throughout your life, it hurt and burned before it helped at all. At least that was her experience so far. Elise felt a great reluctance to open herself up to that. She wondered if you couldn't just accept yourself and your kinks. Did you really have to figure every damned thing out, then analyze them, and if you did would that make you "healthy?"

She knew it was strange that she would rather open up her body than her emotions to a stranger. Elise recognized that wanting to have someone control her so much and not wanting to take control of herself was stupid and weak. Hell it was wrong! It had to be! Yet she knew submission and BDSM itself wasn't wrong. It was a beautiful dance of power and emotion that took two. God, how bad she wanted it and right fucking now!

She finished her coffee and bagel, threw the refuse away and walked to the small city park. The sun was too fucking bright so she found her shades and slipped them on. She lingered at the koi pond watching the gold fish glide and pucker. I'm so alone she thought but am such a bad person? A small sailboat went by. It was a motorized toy. She watched a man with his son, across the pond. The father was teaching his son how to operate the boat. They were a beautiful picture together and it made her smile.

She turned and sat down on a bench. The sun warmed her skin while she watched parents with children, lovers together and people with their dogs. She felt sad watching the world slip by her. She was left alone, always in her bubble, of isolation.

It happened like a slow motion dream in her head. Suddenly he was taking her hand and they were walking to her nearby loft apartment. His dark flesh contrasted with her paler skin tone. His other hand was tightly cuffing her neck, controlling or simply aiding her.

She was none too steady on her feet. Elise had been drinking a lot, too much. It helped make her a little numb to the pain. Now if she could only find a way to stay that way or become more so, nonexistent would be nice, Elise mused. She found the sensation of his hand on the back of her commanding and reassuring.

In the elevator he pushed her head down to his crotch and made her suck him. She was shocked at herself in a dull sort of way. The drinks she had consumed made her less inhibited. She had never done anything like this before. Under normal circumstances she wouldn't have.

Now after months of nothing, having felt such longing and loneliness she was feeling high, not just from the shots she had been slinging back for hours at the bar, but from having someone finally want her at all. The elevator dinged and he pulled her up roughly.

"Your not a very good cock sucker are you? You had that whole elevator ride to please me. You need lessons." He said loudly tucking himself back in and winking at a neighbor who was throwing trash down the chute. Mr. Burroughs looked rather shocked and horrified. He gave her a look of loathing while she turned red and fumbled with her locks. He quickly went back into his flat.

She got the door open. Her companion pushed her through the door and up against the galley kitchen counter. He pulled up her skirt and rubbed her ass.

"Yeah you need some training you little slut. We both know it. I'm the best Dom you've ever seen." He said touching her slit running his fingers along it. She started to raise her head and he slapped the back of it.

"From now on you don't move or talk until I tell you." He said. She was somewhat stunned. He had seemed nicer than this in the bar. She sobered a little bit. Elise began to wonder if she had made a mistake.

He fumbled around in her kitchen drawers and brought out a basting brush, a wire whisk and a timer.

"Okay. Now feel this on your ass? He brushed the first item on her right cheek tickling her. She was afraid now to speak but since he asked her a question that is just what he wanted.

He hit her with the basting brush hard. She jumped. The braided wire, that was most of the handle, hurt. Elise sobered more and started to be really worried.

"I asked you a question bitch!" He barked.

"Yes! Yes! I feel it." She said.

"Yes I feel it Sir!" He snapped and hit her with it again.

"Yes I feel it Sir!" She echoed. He went back to ticking her with the brush.

She was beginning to relax although he was hurting her neck holding it down like that. She was bent over the counter. Elise thought, okay, that hurt, but I survived it. Now maybe things will get better.

Things got worse. He decided on a little game. He would set the kitchen timer. She would get on her knees and try to make him come with just her mouth in the amount of time he had set. If she wasn't successful, he would "spank" her with one of the kitchen implements for that same amount of time. Then they would set the timer so she could try again.

By the time he called an end to this game she was stinging all over from the basting brush, wire whisk and a Teflon spatula he had found. More than that, she was humiliated and terrified.

Elise had told him no, several times. The result was always the same. A hard slap and him restraining her with nothing but his body.

All this time alone. All this time wanting to have a Dom give her attention. She took it all back now. Now, she just wanted him gone.

Hell, she wanted to be gone too. Gone from this world and the pain. That was the one thing that gave her the strength to keep fighting so long. She didn't fight to live. She fought because she had nothing to lose. She fought because she was really pissed off. Elise fought with the mindlessness of a cornered animal.

He got what he wanted anyway. Tore it from her. She passed out at some point. Hoping it was the end for her. Dim sounds floated to her. Clicks and whirls, what was that she wondered, angels wings? She opened her eyes in time to be blinded by a flash. My God she thought, I'm not dead and someone is taking pictures of me!

She woke again blinking, Elise looked around. Her apartment, she was in her apartment, that was good. It looked like morning light coming in the living room windows. She listened for someone else in the apartment with her but heard nothing and felt utterly alone. She pulled her covers around her and drifted off again.

When next she woke she managed to get to the bathroom. Painfully peeing she felt like no part of her body had escaped being pounded. She took a long shower. The water was steaming hot and made her skin red but it kept her from shaking. She still felt cold inside.

Elise finally figured she was clean. Well, clean outside anyway, parts of her never had been clean it seemed to her. Parts never would be again. She took three advil and went back to sleep.

The phone was ringing. Her apartment was dark. She reached for the phone. She jumped a bit and groaned in pain. It was her manager calling. She was late for work. It's not like part time hourly jobs came with a nice benefit package. Not for bartenders anyway.

She tried to get ready but she had trouble thinking or moving. Finally she called back and told them she was too sick to come in. They didn't sound like they believed her. Elise could hear Marian making a remark about her. She hated that bitch always trying to get at her. Elise shook her head. That was a big mistake, pain exploded behind her eyes and all in her head. She gasped. Maybe that convinced her boss. Then again, maybe she would be without a job again soon. Elise felt worried but she had no choice tonight.

The next day she finally looked at her face. It was bruised several places. Her body had many bruises and trauma on it too. She sat, not really thinking, just rocking for a while. Finally she got dressed. She automatically started to make up the bed but stopped staring in revulsion at her sheets. They were black. White come stains were all over them.

She sunk to the floor and cried. After a while she found her purse and called the man she had met in Cool Beans. His secretary answered the phone. Shakily Elise spoke to her.

"I think I need help." She said.

Elise was feeling better now. It had been a year since she made the mistake of bringing home a "Dom." The marks on her body had long since faded into "never was land." With her therapist, the wounds on her soul were showing signs of mending. They were, she felt, crusted over now at least. In brown scabs that itched, then bled when she and the therapist scratched away at them. Still the healing after each session was stronger the mending just a little more complete.

God it was hard work. There were days she just didn't want to go in at all. In fact, there were a ton of things she didn't want to do each day. The man she had met in Cool Beans felt she could be better helped by a female for some damn reason. She wanted him! Elise wanted him to want her. Maybe he was right, she thought grudgingly. Now she wanted Nola to want her. She could hardly imagine how needy she would have become with him.

Okay, the day was nearly over, and the blessed sunset would soon paint the sky. The day would cool to soothing darkness after that glory died. Elise had been a very good girl. She had done her session, eaten right and then worked out.

She didn't have to work tonight. That was nice. Her therapist had encouraged her to change jobs. Sure Nola was kink friendly but she felt it was wrong for Elise at this time to be hanging around the club. So now Elise was working at Cool Beans asking people if they wanted whipped cream in their drinks. Well, she did feel better, stronger now so something was working. It was a relief not to watch the parade of connected accepted people at the club and know that she was not one of them.

She put on her Lilith Fair double CD and took a shower. No more baths, those lead to bad thoughts for Elise.

When she first started therapy it was what she thought of as a "scoop up and rescue the drowning girl" session. She thought she might drown in misery, tears and shame back then. She had long wanted to be dead. Elise had refused to report what had happened. They had told her that she should but she just couldn't do that. She had wanted him to come back to her apartment and fuck her after all, master her. She just hadn't counted on what happened to occur but she had put herself in that position. Elise knew she had.

Then, when she was better, came the tests. Staring at stupid ink stains, she felt like a kindergartner looking at mud puddles or maybe a crime scene detective looking at blood stains. She found herself drawn not to the light or dark but to the shadows in between. Elise wondered if that meant something? Was it unusual? She had no way of knowing.

The damn bubble test was much like an SAT but it told things like that she was too compulsive about the order of things. Oh duh! She knew that! Tony had endlessly kidded her about it. Under the jokes was a real dislike of what she was though.

Tony had married a girl he worked with. They looked happy. Cindy was already pregnant. His life style was as good or better than it had been with Elise as far as she could tell. Elise didn't know if she wanted to be happy for Tony or kill him for deserting her.

She padded out of the shower. Drops of water were beaded up on her skin. A drop of water in her belly button gleamed like a diamond. She had to smile at that as she dried off and put on a robe.

Elise had started to re-establish some relationships with her family and old friends. She was starting to find it easier to make new pals too. Her emotional closet wasn't totally clean yet. Maybe it never would be but she was more comfortable in her own skin. She accepted her own thoughts and needs now.

What Do You Hear In These Sounds by Dar Williams came on during her dinner. She smiled as it was another favorite. She squished some chili between two Pringles and closed her eyes savoring the sinfully delightful treat. It was comfort food night. It wasn't do what everyone else thinks is best night, nope it was, dig back into your childhood favs night. The grape Kool Aid made with four times the sugar recommended was great! She stuck her spork in the cool whip and then in the black cherry Jell-O and nearly swooned. In her chair she danced a bit, eating and singing at times with the lyrics.

"I don’t go to therapy to find out if I’m a freak

I go and I find the one and only answer every week

And it’s just me and all the memories to follow

Down any course that fits within a fifty minute hour

And we fathom all the mysteries, explicit and inherent

When I hit a rut, she says to try the other parent

And she’s so kind, I think she wants to tell me something,

But she knows that it’s much better if I get it for myself...

And she says

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, what do you hear in these sounds?
And... oooooooh,aaaaaaah
What do you hear in these sounds? ? ? ? ?

I say I hear a doubt, with the voice of true believing

And the promises to stay, and the footsteps that are leaving

And she says oh, I say what? ...she says exactly,

I say what, you think I’m angry?

Does that mean you think I’m angry?

She says look, you come here every week

With jigsaw pieces of your past

Its all on little sound bytes and voices out of photographs

And that’s all yours, that’s the guide, that’s the map

So tell me, where does the arrow point to?

Who invented roses?

And.......

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah
What do you hear in these sounds?
And...oooooooh,aaaaaaah
What do you hear in these sounds? ? ? ? ?

And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think

That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink

But oh how I loved everybody else

When I finally got to talk so much about myself............

And I wake up and I ask myself what state I’m in

And I say well I’m lucky, cause I am like east berlin

I had this wall and what I knew of the free world

Was that I could see their fireworks

And I could hear their radio

And I thought that if we met, I would only start confessing

And they’d know that I was scared

They’d would know that I was guessing

But the wall came down and there they stood before me

With their stumbling and their mumbling

And their calling out just like me...and...

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, the stories that nobody hears...and...

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, and I collect these sounds in my ears...and

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, that’s what I hear in these sounds...and...

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, that’s what I hear in these......

That’s what I hear in these souu ouuun nnnds!"

Elise loved the song and the acoustic guitar sound. There was so much truth in it. Then Trouble came on and that felt true too. Umm, she moaned as she finished off the last of the chili making another sandwich with the Pringle chips.

She giggled and it dawned on her that she didn't mind being alone so much anymore. She liked it sometimes. She didn't have to worry about pleasing anyone else. She could just do what she wanted. Elise felt almost okay for a second, until all the things she wanted in her life came back to her mind. Yeah, that was the Trouble part. She still wanted to be part of a family. Not just the sort that got together for holidays. Not the sort that only tolerated each other just because blood made them one.

She wanted to be part of a family made with bonds of caring and giving each what they wanted, even if some people thought what they wanted was wrong or sick. She closed her eyes again with a faint smile. Thinking about what it would be like if that somehow magically happened in her life.

There she would be a child almost in training again. She would also be a woman desired by both her trainers. In her dream of dreams she would be in a family of others in various stages of being trained or with various levels of mastery. Elise didn't want that to be all though. She wanted them to do normal things too.

She had gotten stronger and more comfortable with herself. Elise wasn't done growing yet. Still she dreamed of bringing a healthier woman to the people she hoped would one day finally make her theirs.

Her laugh came out like a little snort. Riiiiight that will probably never happen. She thought to herself, but one has to have dreams. I'm fine now. I will be just fine from now on, probably. She nodded as The One played. Yep, I'm probably better off with out The One, or The Two or The Family. If that happened and it didn't work out it would break me apart again. How many times can you be broken and glued back together she wondered idly.

She cleaned up her spork, dishes and the counter of her kitchenette. Sitting on her couch she began to work a puzzle. Good quiet methodical work, she thought, putting everything in it's place. This one had 1000 pieces and would someday look pretty with all kinds of brass cogs, gears, and other metal parts made art.

Then Darla called. She wanted Elise to come out and play at a club. Elise tried to say no but she liked Darla a lot. The Jazz club was something she had been interested in checking out too. She was surprised to hear herself agreeing to go.

Putting on some jeans and a baby doll black top with olive green mini beads along the front seams, she threw on some black sandals. Elise was down the stairs with her purse just in time for Darla to race up in her little vintage power blue '58 Triumph.

Surprisingly she didn't mind her hair flying around as the convertible moved through traffic. She felt happy and free! She smiled at Darla. They hugged as they moved from the car into Snug Harbor.

The music drew them into the postage stamp sized back show room. The acoustics were incredible there. She was glad to be able to drink. Elise had stubbornly refused meds and now she got her pay off. She ordered an Irish Coffee with whipped cream. Caffeine and booze would hit her just right on her selfish night.

The tables were barely big enough to hold two drinks. The smoke was thick. The cover charge had been $20.00. None of that mattered because she was enveloped in lush sounds so soothing and sensual that she could have lived there forever.

The sax player was cute, of course, weren't they always? Well, excluding Presidents they did tend to be hot. She smiled brighter when he winked at her. The drummer was thin. He had an almost goth look to him, with his pale skin and dark hair. He wasn't trying to look that way, he just did. The singer was great. The piano player was older, but so good, she wanted to lick his fingers and suck on them. Elise was surprised that his fingers weren't long and thin like she expected but fat and fast on the keys. She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts and felt carried away on another giggle.

Elise breathed it all in deep. Even with the smoke, this was a perfect moment in time. She wanted and needed nothing else right here, right now. This was serenity if only she could hold on to it.

She smiled again as they played Sugar On the Floor. The singer belting it out with a strong, smoky voice, taking Elise to another wonderful world.

It was a great night. Elise hugged her friend goodnight and ran up the steps to her little apartment building.

Riding up in the elevator she could hear the music from Snug still riding her bones and flesh. She smiled and felt like she was floating.

Going inside her place, she flopped face down on her bed. Her hot face was cooled by the silk pillowcase. She nuzzled into the black silk like a puppy to it's mother's nipple.

Life was good sometimes. There were nights when you felt warm, safe and happy. She fell asleep to those cozy thoughts.

Life slowly got better over the next year for Elise. Her circle of friends got tighter. Her family found new tolerance and open discussions smoothed relations. Not that things were perfect. Nothing is ever perfect, just sometimes you are touched with the glow, limed in near perfection.

Elise felt happy in general. Less lonely than she was, she now hung out with a big group. Still she had longings. These longings were secret to most everyone that knew her.

Now and then unpleasant reminders of her past would crop up. She'd run into Marian. Or see her ex in the park with his new wife and their darling baby. Life was like that. You'd be walking in sunshine for a while. It would blind you. Then you'd walk smack dab into a side of concrete.

One day her former boss Myrna came into the coffee shop. Smirking like the evil bitch she was. One never knows what might go into ones coffee or food under such conditions. Elise thought. Too bad I can't poison the toxic toad. I don't savvy spending the rest of my years behind bars on account of her though. Still behind bars might be an excellent place to be...forced.

She managed the sweetest smile when she gave the coffee to that little piece of shit she used to work for.

The only people that knew what she really wanted were her online friends. They liked her. They understood her. They would never really know her. It was a perfect arrangement.

There was no danger, no consequences and rarely any clean up afterwards. At home she fired up her lap top. She clicked on some personals. Now it was how funny it seemed to her that everyone felt like she did! Everyone wanted what she did or wanted to give her what she craved. She was so able to get so close so quickly and they all had so much in common. It almost made leaving the loft unnecessary. Her heart beat very fast as she looked at entries of Doms and Dommes seeking someone just like her.

Yes, online was incredible! She wondered if she would ever get up the nerve to answer one or more of these posts. Would she ever have the trust to turn someone online in her life to someone in real life?

ooc: Tell me what you think.

Name: Mistress Luna
Age:28
HC: black and dark blue
HL:long
EC:hazel
Build: 40 dcup tits small waist from her corset. 6'1 amazon with light mocca colored skin.
Other: Mistress Luna has a bit of a mean streak but treats her pets well.


Luna sat and the bad of her favorite s/m club looking around for fresh me. She was looking fro a woman this time. Women were so much fun and the were slightly easier to train.

Setting down her drink she reached into her purse for s smoke.

Elise took a deep breath before she walked back into the club she used to work at. Her blond hair was back in a french twist and her form was lined in red leather. She didn't know if it was a good idea to go back in here where she had felt so alone but her therapist thought she needed to go back.

Her heals were 4" high. She hoped she looked happy and secure on them. She was shaking like a leaf inside, her heart fluttering. The plan was to go in, have a drink see the play and leave unscathed. She didn't even remotely kid herself that someone would approach her. That was not part of her plan.

She pulled the door open and showed her membership card. The front door man gave her a wink. She smiled back.

"Nice to see you Austin." She said and walked on. Damn if Marian was tending bar, the bitch. She went up to the bar and asked for a lime daiquiri. She knew Marian would hate that. She waved to Claymore and Imogene. Sorrow over the loss of that particular path to training filled her but she wrestled it back down.

She walked to a small table and looked around the club. She saw many she knew. But as always, there were some she did not. She smiled as she watched the predators and the prey dance their ancient dances of seduction.

Her eyes met a woman's who looked very interesting, across the smoke filled club. Her face froze, heart pounding, she felt an interest there. Blinking Elise broke the spell, finally, and sipped her drink. She was letting her imagination get away with her, surely. Why would someone suddenly be interested in her now?

Most of the slushy fluid filled her mouth, she licked her lips looking back at the Lady and saw the Lady was still looking at her. Could it be she had finally caught someone's eye? If so, what should she do about it?

Luna smirked and sat there watching the woman. it was obvious she came her often , but was nervous. Sitting back she crossed her legs, her leather jacket fell open revealing the red leather corset underneath.

Taking a puff off her cig she waited to see if she could Tempt the morsel to her,if not she would just have to go catch the lil mouse.

Elise kept stealing glances. The Lady was hot that was for sure. She looked very Dominant. Damned if she didn't seem interested in Elise. She finished her drink. Feeling lightheaded, she wondered if it was more from the attention or the drink? Okay this is getting ridiculous she thought as she squirmed like an egg on a grill. I should just go up and say hi, what do I have to lose?

Still she lingered, playing with the rim of her glass. She got up and walked to the bathroom. In the loo she began to check her make up and hair. Go talk to the Lady you fool! You know you want to she told herself.

Walking back out and to the bar she ordered another drink. Taking another deep breath she walked over the Lady. She smiled and nodded to her.

"Hello, I don't think I've seen you here before, I'm Elise." She said, her voice shaking, her cold drink burning her fingers.

"Luna. Mistress Luna. I've been out of the country." She looked Elise up and down, her eyes like that of a predeator. Licking her lips and putting her cig out she asked, "So pet, tell me, are you looking for something?"

Smiling to herslef she picked Elise tied up on her playroom. This one would be fun.

"Nice to meet you Mistress Luna." Elise said lowering her eyes. She felt the eyes of Mistress Luna on her burning up and down her form. She blushed a little.

"Yes Mistress I am looking for many things." She said softly but clearly. "I am looking for training. I have very little experience but I want to learn."

She stood there a bit awkwardly. Elise wondered if she should have said all that. Probably not, but she didn't have it in her to play games anymore. She knew what she yearned for. Maybe this Mistress would want to give her that.

Luna laughed softly,"Well i think i can help you there." standing she tossed a 20 the the bartender. "If you're serious follow me." She stood towering over her and then headed for the door.

This is just wahat Luna needed. Freshmeat was always the sweetest. Her stride carried her out of the club quickly and intot he cool night air.

Elise was startled by Mistress Luna's sudden action. She looked around the club with her cheeks still burning and put down her drink.

The Lady was already out the door. Panic seized her, the last time she had done something like this turned out very, very badly. Still, she started walking, toward the door, toward the Lady and her dreams.

"I'm serious." She said catching up to Mistress Luna. Her eyes were wide, heart thudding like a drum.

"Good." Luna smiled softly and said, "Don't worry, you'll enjoy everymoment of this." She then yanked Elise close and planted a kiss on her. Her other hand palming her breast.

Pulling away quickly she started to cross the street. "I live in the building across the street." She was going to make this one beg before she let her cum. That is if she let her cum at all.

Elise went white at Mistress Luna's abrupt action and froze.

"Hey, uh, listen? I went with a guy a few years ago, and um, things went badly. I don't really even know you. I want to, believe me I do, but maybe we should take this slow? Talk about things? Before we get into this, because I have to tell you, honestly? I think I might freak out if we go too fast. I do want to do this, but I just need some time, getting to know you first." She said haltingly.

Tears were in her down cast eyes. The lump that formed in her throat would not go away. Now I've blown it she thought. Still she couldn't risk going back to the place she had been with that so called "Master." She just didn't know what she would do in a panic.

Luna stopped adn walked back over, "Fine. i'll go slow, but only because you've been spooked." Looking at her watch she said, "I want you to meet me tomorrow at the club at 6. We'll go to dinner and talk. If you're not here, i'll know you changed your mind."

Pressing a kiss, softer this time to her lips, Luna said, "Tomorrow."

"Thank you! I am so glad! I was scared, but if I'm not honest then none of this will work right? I'll be here!" She kissed the Mistress back and felt such a huge surge of relief she had trouble balancing on her heels.

"Oh I'll be here I promise! Thanks again!" She blinked a few times then walked down the street looking back a few times. Elise was still in shock that she had found someone who was interested in her. She smiled to herself feeling almost a peace and yet, a bit scared. What was life though if you didn't take chances? You just didn't have to be a damned fool about it!

Elise spent some time talking with her friends online. She talked with her therapist. Then she dressed for her date. Her whole body was shaking with excitement and fear. She walked down the street from her loft to the club. Waiting she glanced at her watch. It was five minutes to six. She tapped the toe of her shoe and looked for the Lady she had met the night before.

Just as the clock towers in the senter of town struck six a red and black corvett screeched to a halt iin front of the curb. The window rolled down and Luna smiled, "Good. Get in. Hope you like Chinese."

She eyed Elise over her sunglasses, her outfit was ok. If she decided to pursue this, that would change though.