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Addiction Anyone?

catalina_francisco

catalina_francisco

Happily insatiable always
Joined
Jul 29, 2002
Posts
18,730
I remember when I first seriously began my journey looking for a suitable Master for me I had several conversations with Dominants who were gracious enough to share their knowledge and experience with me, guide me and prepare me for what may lay ahead. One of the subjects raised with me was the concept of addiction, the point I would reach where as I received pain I craved more, waking everyday with a growing hunger insatiable in it's gnawing to be satisfied. I listened respectfully, asked questions, but inside was sceptical as to whether I would fall prey to such an appetite. LOL, but it soon happened.

After my first real heavy session I felt those first stirrings deep inside which soon became a loud roar that demanded feeding the hungry lion inside. It was a new feeling and not one I was sure how I could handle responsibly, especially as I was still looking, not having found him. It did become a driving force within me and has remained a part of my existance. Going without significant pain sessions any length of time will see me getting edgy, stressed, over emotional etc. Masterful One has a similar reaction with his need to deliver pain...thankfully!!! I was curious as to how others have experienced this, if they have at all, why they feel it does grow so quickly and become so deeply addictive?

Catalina:rose:
 
Yes.

It's that ache a submissive has when she has no one to submit to.

Highly unpleasant, if I must say so.
 
A Desert Rose said:
Yes.

It's that ache a submissive has when she has no one to submit to.

Highly unpleasant, if I must say so.
Click to expand...



Certainly is, and chocolate can only go so far toward relieving the tension!!:)

Catalina:rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
Certainly is, and chocolate can only go so far toward relieving the tension!!:)

Catalina:rose:
Click to expand...

With all due respect catalina, it doesn't even touch it.


;-)
 
Oh heck you certainly don't want my opinions of this...lol I am not qualified...but I do know a bit about addiction...

since you mentioned chocolate...in jest.

Replacement gratification

I think there are three hungers...

An emotional hunger
An intellectual hunger
An physical hunger

It suxs when we are hungry in one area of our life but are denied fulfillment. It is often then replacement gratification is used to sate the hunger and many bad cycles of behavior are learned.

But it is interesting I use the word "hunger" to describe a craving or need. How long from the first bite of pain, to having a full blown appitite, to then being a need? hmmmm Food for thought

Hope this thread takes off, would really like to see some of the responses offered.
 
A Desert Rose said:
Yes.

It's that ache a submissive has when she has no one to submit to.

Highly unpleasant, if I must say so.
Click to expand...


Yes, very much so. It's also that aching fear of losing the one who feeds that addiction. Insecure, me? Never. ;)
 
Although I realise the addiction like feelings can come to the fore when there is no-one there to satisfy that which we have tasted and liked, I also was referring to how addictive it can be while in a relationship actively playing and submitting but finding the more you get, the more you want, sometimes to the point previously unacceptable practices now become attractive or at the very least, tantalising possibilities/speculations. Has anyone else suffered from this? Do you go with it or step back and try to cool down such hunger? Is it even possible to harness the emotions and needs to a manageable point?:confused:

Catalina:rose:
 
That ache is quite relevant for me. If i am without it for too long, i find myself pushing the speed limit just to get home faster. i love submitting to my Master. i don't just WANT to ... i NEED to. He is my first Master. i practiced much patience in seeking Him. Once i had submitted to Him and felt the first wave of pain sweep over me at His hands ... i KNEW i would crave it again, and again ... infinitely. i love chocolate too but it has never made my entire body quiver in anticipation at the memory of it's taste nor has it ever made me a dripping wet wanton mess, as my need for Master's touch has/does. :heart:
 
It is an addiction. I have been there myself...from my experience you need to be able to back off a bit and detox. From the pain perspective it is kind of important that you do that sometimes. As horrible as it feels and as irritable as you get, you have to do it or you will be headed for a dangerous place both physically and emotionally. I have more to say, but not enough coffee and this being a close to home subject for me *shrug* it will have to wait 'til later. :rose:
 
On the shelf? Increase your service capital. You ladies have ALL heard this before, but it's true. Whatever areas of service you are interested in, learn more about them. Get spiritual and read about your tradition of choice. Write your novella. Work on your pain tolerance. Learn safe self-bondage for the day you can have your PYL come home to a pretty wrapped package-- whatever YOUR kink is, get better at it on your own.
 
More more more harder harder yeah, is the addictive rallying cry of the top and bottom edge fan, and both kinds of people have to "detox" definitely. I find that this stepping back is built into the cycles of relationships/work/life anyway for me. Just when things are getting really intense and ground is broken, a natural ebb always seems to follow, and that's actually a blessing though it's frustrating at the time, sometimes.
 
From someone who finally took the first step at 40-something - and is still really just testing the waters: yes yes yes - it is a delicious addiction! I liked what RJM said in the sadist thread about 'losing the colors' when its been awhile. Things definately start looking rather grey. I get grumpy and irritable and even masturbation doesn't seem like fun. Even masturbation with nipple clamps and clothes pins won't help. Nothing will bring the colors back but some really tight restraints and a heart stopping flogging. Next week - I can hold out til next week............

I don't know why - I do tend to have an addictive personality anyway - but its true and its strong and eventually it cannot be denied. And I envy everyone of you that gets to go home to your Master/Mistress - lucky cusses all!
 
crazybbwgirl said:
I liked what RJM said in the sadist thread about 'losing the colors' when its been awhile.
Click to expand...

crazybbwgirl,

Nods at your comments...cuts both ways from the other side not being 24/7.

And I really liked the color thing that Franscico mentioned when he was describing what its like to go long periods without expression. My thread, his comments...and it was right on target.
 
RJMasters said:
crazybbwgirl,

Nods at your comments...cuts both ways from the other side not being 24/7.

And I really liked the color thing that Franscico mentioned when he was describing what its like to go long periods without expression. My thread, his comments...and it was right on target.
Click to expand...

oops - sorry for misplacing credit. But that is such a great thread.
 
I'm still going through withdrawal. So, count me among the addicted.
 
Desdemona said:
I'm still going through withdrawal. So, count me among the addicted.
Click to expand...

Once an addict, always one. ;-)

I just know that I love the bruises and bite marks and all that go with it, after the fact. I like the reminders and remainders of it.

I miss them, too. And I'm sure I'm totally off topic here.
 
My very first bondage experience was about one month ago. I was tied up and blindfolded. The array of emotions was so confusing and so intense.

I went home that night on a high. And for a couple of days I could not come down. I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I never knew that pain and pleasure would be so intoxicating and addictive.

You are correct. It is addictive. I wanted to do it again and again and again. We have had other sessions where I was so confused with my state of emotions, my Master forced me yell my safeword for my own well-being. Can't wait to be tied up and blind-folded again. :D
 
In the context of a longterm steady relationship, there can be two types of addiction: (1) pushing things, keeping things "fresh" and avoiding complacency and (2) the actual cravings for more and stronger action. They are tied together in my mind.

We tend to get comfortable with our partner and feel more trusting, but at the same time familiarity might breed contempt. I deal with it by keeping the relationship multi-dimensional while varying between normal things and more extreme ventures. I don't want to get into the situation where everyday I need to flog harder or more often to get the same effect. So I don't flog everyday.

Keep in mind I am only a medium sadist plus I have non-24/7 relationsips where my partner is a girlfriend first and a submissive second.
 
I think that's a good strategy for most relationships! Unless you are a fetishist of the most specific and singular drives so that only your one monolithic thing turns you on, you are going to need variety. I have a fiance with a sub tendency and I have a prospective slave. With both people I try to keep the mix interesting for them AND for me with a foot in the mundane and a foot in the kinky. Flogging ever harder will only make me resentful and hurt my rotator cuffs, like you said, so I try to introduce some of the never-tested to keep us all on our toes at times.
 
Mr Blonde said:
In the context of a longterm steady relationship, there can be two types of addiction: (1) pushing things, keeping things "fresh" and avoiding complacency and (2) the actual cravings for more and stronger action. They are tied together in my mind.

We tend to get comfortable with our partner and feel more trusting, but at the same time familiarity might breed contempt. I deal with it by keeping the relationship multi-dimensional while varying between normal things and more extreme ventures. I don't want to get into the situation where everyday I need to flog harder or more often to get the same effect. So I don't flog everyday.

Keep in mind I am only a medium sadist plus I have non-24/7 relationsips where my partner is a girlfriend first and a submissive second.
Click to expand...

As tempting as it is to keep indulging the pain addiction, F has made sure there are breaks of significant length between floggings/whippings or anything which has a bite. Silly me was concerned he was trying to be too considerate.....reality was he knew by spacing it out like that it increased the pain, lowered the pain threshold, and gave him a huge thrill.:)

Catalina:rose:
 
oh that's why the small pinchy pains of delicate and deliberate medical type probings and pokings are sooo useful now and again. :)
 
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