Ladies, do nice guys truly finish last?

Well that is the question. Being a nice guy myself, I always wonder if it is true. If it is tell me why.

Taz

I'm not a lady, but yes we do!!! At least, I always seem to do so.

That depends - finish last at what?

Girls don't hate nice guys. They hate boring and clingy

Its true man nice guys finish last!!!

NO.

You will prevail in the end.

Depends on the situation. Hubby's a wonderful, nice sweet, non-clingy guy and I chased after him.
Know other nice guys that just can't seem to get a break with females.
Depends on the guy really.

All the really nice guys I know do have problems getting girls. Me I was, hell.. I still am a grade A asshole, I got no idea how I got Ang to marry me sometimes. But hey what can I say... girls dig the Tab.

J

Depends on your age, I think. At younger ages, I've noticed that a huge percentage of women seem to go after the more aggressive guys, and the shy guys tend to fall by the wayside because they just don't stand out.

In my experience, virtually all nice guys are shy at young ages, hence they tend to finish last.

I think it changes as you get older, and more and more women get tired of dating jerks, and realize that there are much nicer guys right under their noses.


By the way, can someone please explain this "clingy" concept to me? I've never understood it.

Do nice guys finish last? Well, of course -- it's only polite! Oh, sorry, you weren't talking about orgasm?

ninja squirrel said:

By the way, can someone please explain this "clingy" concept to me? I've never understood it.

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I believe, in this context, "clingy" means: needy, always wanting, insecure, etc., etc...


Anyway, you wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'm really a nice guy. Hell, you probably wouldn't know it by reading anything I post, either, but believe it or not I'm compassionate, polite, witty, somewhat shy until I feel comfortable... and at the age of 23 I still firmly believe that nice guys finish last and that assholes always seem to get the girl the nice guy is too shy to try anything with. It's just the way it's going to be for me. I probably won't ever get married, ever have children, never have a family of my own to love and look over and help and nurture... so it seems that my dream of being a father, a husband, and a family man and owning my own homes with white picket fences and big yards for my children and their friends to play in will never bear fruit and I'll be alone forever, but I've come to expect that and embrace that in an odd and morbid way. At least I've got a feel for what lies around the next corner.

Sometimes they do... but its not just guys, its girls too. For instance, I just recently learned that I can't continue to see the entire world through rose colored lenses, because you know what happens? You can get royally FUCKED! This is true, regardless of your gender, in the workplace, friendships, romance... every aspect of life!

So play by the rules, be true to yourself, but be aware that others may not have the same ethics that you do. And be patient, pick your battles, and if its something you really want, don't be afraid to go after it. You can be aggressive and a nice guy, trust me. Personally, I admire an aggressive man who implements some strategic planning to get me where he wants me. Find a balance between being a nice guy, and standing up for yourself....

Ah, Jeez!! You're only 23 for G-d's sake! Don't give up on what you want already, man! Sorry for the previous fey post. I'm guessing the real question here is what to do about it?

The big percentage answers are: 1. fake confidence. Realize that the main reason young women go for jerky guys is that the jerky guys are the ones who ask them -- and that most people find confidence attractive. Are YOU going after the shy quiet women, hmmm? Realize, too, that as we grow older, we grow more confident ourselves and have less need to piggy-back on someone else's self-assurance. Thus we get to high percentage bet #2.

#2. Go for older women.

#3. Take a chance. That's what my nice guy husband of many years did. He wasn't used to approaching women but tried it with me. Followed me around a bar, in fact. He even saw me leave with someone else (the guy I'd been waiting for.) Called me anyway. I missed the call, so he thought i hadn't responded but when we met again a couple of weeks later, we spent some time talking more casually, when he invited me to get out of there to have coffee -- not exactly a date. He risked a sweet, light kiss as he droped me off home, which turned into several more, and the rest is history. Point is, he didn't get his feelings hurt, didn't bemoan his luck, just kept trying in a friendly way. Good luck. Keep going.

Phoenix Stone said:

Ah, Jeez!! You're only 23 for G-d's sake! Don't give up on what you want already, man! Sorry for the previous fey post. I'm guessing the real question here is what to do about it?

The big percentage answers are: 1. fake confidence. Realize that the main reason young women go for jerky guys is that the jerky guys are the ones who ask them -- and that most people find confidence attractive. Are YOU going after the shy quiet women, hmmm? Realize, too, that as we grow older, we grow more confident ourselves and have less need to piggy-back on someone else's self-assurance. Thus we get to high percentage bet #2.

#2. Go for older women.

#3. Take a chance. That's what my nice guy husband of many years did. He wasn't used to approaching women but tried it with me. Followed me around a bar, in fact. He even saw me leave with someone else (the guy I'd been waiting for.) Called me anyway. I missed the call, so he thought i hadn't responded but when we met again a couple of weeks later, we spent some time talking more casually, when he invited me to get out of there to have coffee -- not exactly a date. He risked a sweet, light kiss as he droped me off home, which turned into several more, and the rest is history. Point is, he didn't get his feelings hurt, didn't bemoan his luck, just kept trying in a friendly way. Good luck. Keep going.

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Older women are all I've EVER been attracted to. They just look at me as a brother and it kills me sometimes. Hell, it's killing me now. Only woman I ever really loved tore my heart from my chest, danced on it in high heels, got married, and she still has my heart. So... it looks like I'm fucked no matter what I do or say. I'm just the nice guy/ best friend/ brother type that always gets to hear the raunchy details of a woman's life but never be part of them. My ex even went so far as to tell our friends after we made love that my penis was larger than life. I laughed my ass off for damn near an hour when a friend of ours told me. I set her straight, though. I have a strong suspicion that my ex did that in order to get other women interested in me and not hurt my feelings, but every time I met someone else, even when she introduced us, it was never good enough for her and she'd do whatever she had to do in order to break it up and have me for herself as a standby. Maybe that's the reason I believe nice guys finish last. Damn... I understand now. Fuck. She totally fucked me over. Fucking mind games.

She self induced the abortion of our unborn child with a bottle of fucking Tequila, for God's sake! I must be a monster of some kind for her to take such drastic measures to make sure my seed wouldn't bear fruit. Goddamn.

I can't trust anyone!!! I can't love again! I don't even know if I have a soul anymore or I'm just going through the motions or a person with a soul. I feel like a carbon copy of a normal man. Is that normal or healthy? Fuck no. It can't be. Look at me... I'm rambling online to a bunch of strangers. Man, my life blows. I can't wait til this shit is over. Fuck.




Sorry for all that. I just needed to vent. Now I need a drink and a fat joint. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!

why do nice gurls always finish last 2 eh?

Meeh. T is amazingly considerate, sensitive, and lots of other "nice guy" tendencies. He just also knows how to throw me around when the situation calls for it. The latter keeps me interested and the former makes me feel secure in a long-term way.

Avery_Chisholm said:

why do nice gurls always finish last 2 eh?

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I've never met a nice woman. I can't answer that for you. All I seem to know are women that break my heart and use me. I hardly consider any of them to be "nice". If I were to meet a nice girl chances are that I would expect the worst anyways.


If there's a nice woman out there who's willing to prove me wrong and show me I can love again, I'm more than willing to test out your theory and find out for sure. I've just been manipulated and used so often that it's what I've come to know and expect. I'm done in this thread. It's too damn depressing for me. I'm going to go drink myself into an alcoholic haze and make some phone calls. That's always fun.

I don't know the answer to the question - but I DO know:

Age and treachery overcomes youth and skill every time.

.... and I've got the t shirt to prove it!

Phoenix Stone said:

Do nice guys finish last? Well, of course -- it's only polite! Oh, sorry, you weren't talking about orgasm?

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That was my thought too when I clicked on the thread. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/orange-cool.gif

Bigg_Capone said:

I've never met a nice woman. I can't answer that for you. All I seem to know are women that break my heart and use me. I hardly consider any of them to be "nice". If I were to meet a nice girl chances are that I would expect the worst anyways.


If there's a nice woman out there who's willing to prove me wrong and show me I can love again, I'm more than willing to test out your theory and find out for sure. I've just been manipulated and used so often that it's what I've come to know and expect. I'm done in this thread. It's too damn depressing for me. I'm going to go drink myself into an alcoholic haze and make some phone calls. That's always fun.

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cum on over and share my full bottle of tequlia rose eh we can get smashed together!

No.

In fact you have to be nice to me.

If you are not nice, we make you nice.

If you're not open to being made nice, well, screw you too pal.

no way! you just have to find someone that truly appreciates you. and believe me, there are plenty of women out there that are looking for a sweet, loving, "nice guy". don't give up ;p

Avery_Chisholm said:

cum on over and share my full bottle of tequlia rose eh we can get smashed together!

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That sounds like an offer too good to pass up. In all honesty, I'd love nothing more than to get together with someone for some drinks. Tequila Rose is freakin' great! I drank a bottle by myself one night. It's great going down but the aftertaste reminds me of sour strawberry milk. All things considered, though, it's a goooood drink. I've got other favorites, too. I've been drinking since I was fifteen, so I've gone through lots to figure out my favorites. lol PM me sometime, darlin'. Maybe we'll have some other common interests. Take care.

there is also another saying,
"date bad, marry good"

so really, nice guys do finish last... and they finish best