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Health & Safety Comes to Lit

SamScribble

SamScribble

Yeah, still just a guru
Joined
Oct 23, 2009
Posts
38,862
Within the past 24 hours, I have been advised by a vigilant reader of a serious health & safety transgression in one of my little tales:

Now, there was one thing wrong, and that was when she lowered herself onto his dick. People need to think about this, a huge weight is lowering onto a relatively less weighty object, his dick. If she were to suddenly lose balance and impale awkwardly an injury could easily spoil his dick for the rest of his life. This procedure is favoured by hookers, who know that The John can not escape from the condom and Go Bareback. That is no reason why a sensible man should place himself in such jeopardy.​

Who knew?
 
SamScribble said:
Within the past 24 hours, I have been advised by a vigilant reader of a serious health & safety transgression in one of my little tales:

Now, there was one thing wrong, and that was when she lowered herself onto his dick. People need to think about this, a huge weight is lowering onto a relatively less weighty object, his dick. If she were to suddenly lose balance and impale awkwardly an injury could easily spoil his dick for the rest of his life. This procedure is favoured by hookers, who know that The John can not escape from the condom and Go Bareback. That is no reason why a sensible man should place himself in such jeopardy.​

Who knew?
Click to expand...

The number of damaged dicks has been increasing in the last few years. Be careful!

PS. I was discussing Health and Safety with my grandson today. I have won a driving experience on our local heritage railway in their Christmas raffle. I told him, that when I was his age - 9 - I went on the footplate of a steam engine from Liverpool Street to Southend and back with an engine driver who was a family friend. Health and Safety would have a fit if a nine-year-old did that now!
 
Last edited:
SamScribble said:
Within the past 24 hours, I have been advised by a vigilant reader of a serious health & safety transgression in one of my little tales:

Now, there was one thing wrong, and that was when she lowered herself onto his dick. People need to think about this, a huge weight is lowering onto a relatively less weighty object, his dick. If she were to suddenly lose balance and impale awkwardly an injury could easily spoil his dick for the rest of his life. This procedure is favoured by hookers, who know that The John can not escape from the condom and Go Bareback. That is no reason why a sensible man should place himself in such jeopardy.​

Who knew?
Click to expand...

That's just silly.
 
Again, the anal retentive have no idea what they are supposed to get out of erotica. Fuck 'em.
 
I suggest you introduce a crane, Sam; the man in a harness, and three fellows with clipboards and two with a flag, and a severe woman with short hair taking notes. Make sure that your safety warnings are clearly displayed, and there's an emergency whistle by the door.

Gosh, and here's me, for most of my life doing it with no regard for my safety. Who knew, indeed ;).
 
oggbashan said:
The number of damaged dicks has been increasing in the last few years. Be careful!

PS. I was discussing Health and Safety with my grandson today. I have won a driving experience on our local heritage railway in their Christmas raffle. I told him, that when I was his age - 9 - I went on the footplate of a steam engine from Liverpool Street to Southend and back with an engine driver who was a family friend. Health and Safety would have a fit if a nine-year-old did that now!
Click to expand...

My first-grade teacher arranged for us to pet highly venomous snakes. A trained handler was holding them so they couldn't bite, but I still rather suspect it wouldn't be allowed now.
 
SamScribble said:
Within the past 24 hours, I have been advised by a vigilant reader of a serious health & safety transgression in one of my little tales:

Now, there was one thing wrong, and that was when she lowered herself onto his dick. People need to think about this, a huge weight is lowering onto a relatively less weighty object, his dick.​
Click to expand...

"Sir, you underestimate the weight of my hero's dick."

If she were to suddenly lose balance and impale awkwardly an injury could easily spoil his dick for the rest of his life. This procedure is favoured by hookers, who know that The John can not escape from the condom and Go Bareback. That is no reason why a sensible man should place himself in such jeopardy.[/indent]
Click to expand...

Random capitalisation is rarely a good omen.
 
However, this from Ogg's link seems to justify the comment; ...In most cases, injuries to the penis caused by sex can be prevented if your partner is simply aware that it can happen. Most often, penile "fractures" occur with the female partner on top. If your penis is stiff and slips from your partner's vagina, stop the thrusting at once.

Just saying :D

EDIT: It's possible (probable?) that just such an injury happened to the one making the comment. It's a big world, eh?
 
yukonnights said:
EDIT: It's possible (probable?) that just such an injury happened to the one making the comment. It's a big world, eh?
Click to expand...
It happened to a mate of mine - well, his partner. His woman was (being very polite) "rather large," on top, and twisted at the wrong time. Poor thing, she pinched a nerve in her back, and couldn't walk for a day or two. I laughed, but didn't put up a sign. She was a little amused, he was crushed...
 
electricblue66 said:
It happened to a mate of mine - well, his partner. His woman was (being very polite) "rather large," on top, and twisted at the wrong time. Poor thing, she pinched a nerve in her back, and couldn't walk for a day or two. I laughed, but didn't put up a sign. She was a little amused, he was crushed...
Click to expand...

That’s depressing...

I feel a bit flat after that tale.

Was he deflated?

Sorry, I’ll show myself out...
 
RubenR said:
Comes to Lit? Try to put a story in BDSM without including the Safe, Sane, and Consensual rules; according to Annoyimous, such stories should only be written by professionals who've been in the Scene for years and years.
Click to expand...

Fuck 'em. :D
 
Back in the 1970s, the scandal rags had a field day with an embarrassing incident:

A man and woman were making love in an MGB GT - the one with a hardtop. That was (and is!) difficult. His back went and she had to ask passers-by to call an ambulance. They couldn't get him out so they called the fire brigade who cut the roof off. The ambulance workers assured the woman that her partner would be OK to which she replied:

"Sod him! What am I going to tell my husband about his car!"
 
oggbashan said:
Back in the 1970s, the scandal rags had a field day with an embarrassing incident:

A man and woman were making love in an MGB GT - the one with a hardtop. That was (and is!) difficult. His back went and she had to ask passers-by to call an ambulance. They couldn't get him out so they called the fire brigade who cut the roof off. The ambulance workers assured the woman that her partner would be OK to which she replied:

"Sod him! What am I going to tell my husband about his car!"
Click to expand...

That made me laugh — did you just make that up :D
 
electricblue66 said:
I suggest you introduce a crane, Sam; the man in a harness, and three fellows with clipboards and two with a flag, and a severe woman with short hair taking notes. Make sure that your safety warnings are clearly displayed, and there's an emergency whistle by the door.

Gosh, and here's me, for most of my life doing it with no regard for my safety. Who knew, indeed ;).
Click to expand...

And make sure they're union - Local Chapter 69.
 
I never realized how daring I’ve been all this time. When my wife is my cowgirl, I enjoy both the tactile and the visual ultimates in pleasure, and she gets full control of what she wants done to achieve her ecstasy, and doesn’t have my carcass on top of her. It’s been a win-win for more than a third of a century. As long as she doesn’t mount the apparatus with a flying leap, I intend to continue to tempt fate.

This may be an issue for my writing, however. If I have characters conjoin in female-superior, must I list the story in BDSM?

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5116173&page=submissions
 
Isn't Austin Powers middle name "Danger?" Maybe this was why!
 
In My Fall and Rise, the protagonist abuses multiple drugs, overdoses twice, has a miscarriage, loses numerous jobs, fucks men for drugs, engages in sex work, sells drugs, becomes entangled in a murder and goes to prison.

The only comment I ever received chastising me for her behavior was a complaint about one instance when she engaged in unsafe sex.
 
MelissaBaby said:
In My Fall and Rise, the protagonist abuses multiple drugs, overdoses twice, has a miscarriage, loses numerous jobs, fucks men for drugs, engages in sex work, sells drugs, becomes entangled in a murder and goes to prison.

The only comment I ever received chastising me for her behavior was a complaint about one instance when she engaged in unsafe sex.
Click to expand...

All Lit stories need a condom...
 
Bramblethorn said:
In some cases, stretched over the head of the reader.
Click to expand...

This has GOT to be the funniest thread ever on Lit! You boys are in rare form! I'm seriously crying here. Sam... my personal advice is to keep throwing caution to the wind! Life's too short not to enjoy the occasional risky-business... So, Gentlemen, despite the rhetoric of said reader, as we say in the south... "Please continue to 'Go Greyhound and leave the driving to us'!" :devil:
 
I remember way back in grade school, 7th or 8th grade science class, the teacher actually had a strip of magnesium and she burned it. The only thing she said is don't look directly into the bright light. :eek:

Also, in high school, we actually dissected frogs in biology. :eek:

I doubt that either are done or would even be considered in schools today. Don't want to get the little snowflakes injured.
 
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