Worried about getting pregnant?

Okay, boys and girls.

I'm 18 years old, and have had four sexual partners in my life. I always make the guy wear a condom, and I'm on the pill, but I've heard of the pill not working, and obviously condoms break.

I'm really scared about getting pregnant. Not only for the obvious reasons, but I don't want kids. I mean like... ever. Ever. Ever!I've heard all of the horror stories, and I'm think that once I'm 21 I'm going to get "the surgery."

Is there anyone here who has had it? How did it turn out? Did it affect your sexual drive? Sensations the same? Less-- better? Any complications?

I'd love to learn more about it.

Also, does anyone have any other birth control methods I should consider? I've also thought about a diaphragm, but am not sure about it. Any advice? Pros? Cons?

Thanks guys!

Eagerly awaiting a response,

Sati

You may want to consider an IUD. They put in and it stays there for 3-10 years, depending on what type you get. It also gives the option of having children later should you change your mind.

I hope this helps you

I know next to nothing about the surgery, but I found a site that can help you decide on a form of birth control besides condoms and the pill. Since you were thinking about having the surgery done when you turn 21, which is around 3 years from now, you might change your mind and new & better forms of birth control might be available by then.
But until then, keep up with the different kinds of contraception.
http://content.health.msn.com/content/healthwise/46/11520.htm?lastselectedguid={B7F18B8A-5BA8-43FC-B950-5FA349C6A692}
That site lists the different types and how effective they are at preventing pregnancies. There are several helpful links at the bottom of the page too.
Another link to help you learn more (a very simple site): http://soyouwanna.com/site/syws/bcontrol/bcontrol.html
I hope something in there helps you, Sati. Good luck choosing.

Sati said:

Okay, boys and girls.

I'm 18 years old, and have had four sexual partners in my life. I always make the guy wear a condom, and I'm on the pill, but I've heard of the pill not working, and obviously condoms break.

I'm really scared about getting pregnant. Not only for the obvious reasons, but I don't want kids. I mean like... ever. Ever. Ever!I've heard all of the horror stories, and I'm think that once I'm 21 I'm going to get "the surgery."

Is there anyone here who has had it? How did it turn out? Did it affect your sexual drive? Sensations the same? Less-- better? Any complications?

I'd love to learn more about it.

Also, does anyone have any other birth control methods I should consider? I've also thought about a diaphragm, but am not sure about it. Any advice? Pros? Cons?

Thanks guys!

Eagerly awaiting a response,

Sati

Click to expand...

The pill does have a very high accuracy rate. The reason it isn't 100% is due to "user" error - people forgetting to take their pills on time!

If you are using the pill AND condoms - wow - you are quite well protected.

I don't think you will be able to find a doctor who will give you "the" surgery when you are 21. That's so very young; I'm sure they will tell you there's no way you can predict what may happen later in your life.

Besides, it is major abdominal surgery (even though they can work through smaller incisions these days). It is not to be taken lightly, and it is next to impossible to reverse if you change your mind later. (As birth control goes, vasectomy is a far less dangerous and invasive procedure.)

It sounds as if you are already doing very well protecting yourself from pregnancy and from sexually transmitted diseases. Why change?

(I was on the pill for 8 years. I NEVER had a problem.) Taken properly, the pill prevents your body from ovulating - can't get much safer than that!

Good luck!

Hey guys!

Thanks so much for the offered advice, and taking the time to respond to a thread that most people are skimming over.

I especially want to say thanks to Abiamarie, because that second website you gave me was very helpful and informative.

Hopefully, some other people out there will get some good use out of it, too.

Thanks again to all,

Sati

Oh! And one more thing-- I was also considering on changing form of "the pill", and going from oral to an injection. The injection seems more convenient to me, and there seems to be less room for a mistake. However, I've heard that some women's uterises actually start to -fall out- when they start taking it, and it causes major complications. Has anyone heard of this?

talk to your doctor

Sati,
The best advice I can give you is to go to your doctor with these kinds of questions. Seriously, don't look to your friends or to "Cosmo" for serious advice in this area. Uteruses do not fall out of women's bodies...think about it! If you have a problem with your pill, want to switch, or just have a question, please please call your doctor's office and make an appointment (whether you're at college or still going to your parents' doctor, it doesn't matter). If you're not comfortable asking a male doctor, request to speak to a female doctor. One of the most empowering experiences i've ever had is when i asked my doctor to switch my birth control pill b/c i didn't like one of the side effects. It felt great to take ownership of my body and my sexuality. Taking control of your own body and asking questions will make you feel more confident in your ability to prevent pregnancy.
Good luck!!!

Many doctors won't do the surgery if you are 21...and even if they do, insurance companies won't cover it unless it's deemed "medically necessary".

Condoms + pill is a very good combination. If you are still worried, be sure to use condoms with spermicidal lubricant, don't forget your pill, and don't have sex while not on the pill. Otherwise, you should be pretty safe.

Make sure that YOU know YOUR body, and if you ever think it's not a good time to have sex, then don't. If you have reason to believe that there is a possibility that you are pregnant, see your doctor immediately. Listen to what your body tells you -- you can hear it alot better than anyone else can, so you have to speak up for it.

Good luck!

" the surgery"

I will assume you are speaking of a HYSTERECTOMY or a TUBAL LIGATION as a means of rendering you sterile (even with a tubal ligation there is still a chance for you to become pregnant just not for the embryo to implant in the uterus)

If so I can assure you that the likelihood of finding a doctor who will perform one on you at 21 are virtually nonexistent, especially if it is not medically necessary.You may well change your mind about children at some point down the line and no doctor worth their license to practice will consider sterlizing you so young. There are many side effects of this surgery hun and they are not pleasant. I am 30 years old, I've had 2 children and I have endomentriosis and my OBGYN still will not consider giving me a THE SURGERY until I am at least 35.

Proper use of both bc pills and condoms will keep you very well protected. Of course they are not infallible, but the probability of them both failing you during intercourse is pretty slim.
Perhaps you may also want to try and familiarize yourself with your ovulatory cycle. Your OBGYN can help you learn how as each woman has different body signals, but by learning to predict when you are ovualting and abstaining from sexual intercourse during that time is a safe non surgical means of increasing your protection.
As has been mentioned already, find a doc you are comfortable with and sit down and talk all this out with them. It's great that you are concerned and takin measures to prevent pregnancy, but I think it would do you worlds of good to discuss this issue further w/ a professional.

Personally, I think 21 is too young to be thinking about "the surgery". Give yourself some time.

You're right, condoms are really not as reliable as people think. I have two friends just in the last month who have gotten pregnant while using condoms. But sweetsub is right, that if you use two forms of protection - like say a condom and the pill (assuming they're used correctly), the chances are close to zero of getting pregnant. I think you are way too young to think about getting any kind of surgery. If you just use two kinds of protection, you should be well protected.

Man, I am so getting myself fixed!

PinkOrchid said:

Can I watch?

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No, but when they take the bandage off, you can kiss it and make it better...

Sati said:

Oh! And one more thing-- I was also considering on changing form of "the pill", and going from oral to an injection. The injection seems more convenient to me, and there seems to be less room for a mistake. However, I've heard that some women's uterises actually start to -fall out- when they start taking it, and it causes major complications. Has anyone heard of this?

Click to expand...

Actually, there is a medical condition in which the uterus starts to "fall out" of a woman's body. I don't know how this relates to the injection (if there even is any connection at all). If I remember correctly, the "condition" tends to affect menopausal/post-menopausal women. This is NOT to say that when you hit menopause you're uterus will fall out. It just seems to be when it's most likely to happen.

If I may add??

Sati, I understand your thoughts and have had much the same when I was your age. Now, a "Few" years beyond and a hysterectomy later; I think it may be a wise choice to go to your local Planned Parenthood and discuss this with them. They are in the business of answering these and other questions those like yourself have. They are also a little more relaxed than a regular doctor's office in that they are used to giving information to young women as yourself.
The injection you mentioned is Depro and I too had it when I was in my 30's. I had grown weary of taking the pill every day and wanted more freedom. The side effects I got were weight gain, decreased sexual libido, and the loss of my period. The last side effect was more of a blessing but, losing my sex drive and the added weight made me get off of it as soon as I could.
In all of the years I was on B.C.; I think that the pill was the most effective and best for my body. The level of hormones can be adjusted to your body and the side effects are minimal.
And to respond to your mention of surgery, I was 21 when I had my daughter and I asked my Gyno to give me a tubal then. He denied me, saying I would want more children. I knew at the time I didn't but couldn't sway his opinion. Now 22 years later, I have had to have a hysterectomy because of other problems, and guess what???? I never had any more kids!
I DO believe that we can know what we want when we are young, but sometimes, we may change our minds. I never did, but that's just me.
Whatever you decide Sati, check out Planned Parenthood, or some place like them, and follow your mind and heart always!
Good luck Dear

-kym- taking off my Mothering hat now

Just a quick response but as for birth control choices as far as I was taught by the local health nurse in high school an IUD is probably not a good choice unless you've already had children. Women who haven't had children have far more complications with an IUD than those who haven't.

Also, I've spent most of my life saying I NEVER want to have kids. I'm still really iffy on the subject (I'm 22) but I know the man I'm with now wants to have kids someday. Funny how it now seems "well, if they're his kids than maybe I might consider it." Kids are still a long ways away for me and my life plans since I have 5 more years left for school and I'd like to get a career at least partially started before I even consider starting a family but a lot can happen in that time. I would never have a child just to please my partner the older I get the more I think I'd like to have a legacy. Unfortunately, I can skip having kids and go directly into the grandparent stage!

HotRed are there any major sideeffects of a IUD???????????????

Sati said:

Hey guys!

Thanks so much for the offered advice, and taking the time to respond to a thread that most people are skimming over.

I especially want to say thanks to Abiamarie, because that second website you gave me was very helpful and informative.

Hopefully, some other people out there will get some good use out of it, too.

Thanks again to all,

Sati

Oh! And one more thing-- I was also considering on changing form of "the pill", and going from oral to an injection. The injection seems more convenient to me, and there seems to be less room for a mistake. However, I've heard that some women's uterises actually start to -fall out- when they start taking it, and it causes major complications. Has anyone heard of this?

Click to expand...

Glad I could help.

Hey guys!

I never thought this thread would get such a response! So thanks to each and every one of you for the awesome advice!

For the most part, many of you said to seek professional advice.

After looking at one of the websites Abie provided, I decided not to opt for the surgery, since there does seem to be a wide selection of other B.C choices.

I -know- that I'll never, ever want children. I realize that some people say the same thing at an age as young as mine, but honestly... kids are not for me.

Annnyway. I was talking to my best friend (god bless her) and she told me that she would go to Planning Parenthood with me when I decided to go, and I do plan on going.

So again, thanks to everyone!

Sati

Pill + a condom sounds about a surefire a way there is of preventing pregnancy (not to mention a host of diseases). Back in my younger, single days, that was the combo I used, and exactly for the same reasons as you.
You can always switch to a different brand of pills if the one you're on now is causing unwelcome side effects. Not all pills are the same.
And for what it's worth, I tried the injection form of birth control (depo provera) and had good results.
Hope this info helps. Good luck!

Sati said:

Okay, boys and girls.

I'm 18 years old, and have had four sexual partners in my life. I always make the guy wear a condom, and I'm on the pill, but I've heard of the pill not working, and obviously condoms break.

I'm really scared about getting pregnant. Not only for the obvious reasons, but I don't want kids. I mean like... ever. Ever. Ever!I've heard all of the horror stories, and I'm think that once I'm 21 I'm going to get "the surgery."

Is there anyone here who has had it? How did it turn out? Did it affect your sexual drive? Sensations the same? Less-- better? Any complications?

I'd love to learn more about it.

Also, does anyone have any other birth control methods I should consider? I've also thought about a diaphragm, but am not sure about it. Any advice? Pros? Cons?

Thanks guys!

Eagerly awaiting a response,

Sati

Click to expand...

Finding a Dr. that will tie your tubes will be just about as hard as finding a needle in a haystack! You are far too young to tie your tubes when there are other means of birth control out there.

You can try the DepoProvera Shot, Lunelle Shot, OrthoEvra Birth Control Patch, IUD, etc., etc., etc.

You may think now that you never want children, but you could end up changing your mind down the road (Heck, look at all the guys when they were young that said they'd never kiss a girl....see how that changed?? ).

Re: Re: Worried about getting pregnant?

sweetsubsarahh said:

The pill does have a very high accuracy rate. The reason it isn't 100% is due to "user" error - people forgetting to take their pills on time!

If you are using the pill AND condoms - wow - you are quite well protected.

I don't think you will be able to find a doctor who will give you "the" surgery when you are 21. That's so very young; I'm sure they will tell you there's no way you can predict what may happen later in your life.

Besides, it is major abdominal surgery (even though they can work through smaller incisions these days). It is not to be taken lightly, and it is next to impossible to reverse if you change your mind later. (As birth control goes, vasectomy is a far less dangerous and invasive procedure.)

It sounds as if you are already doing very well protecting yourself from pregnancy and from sexually transmitted diseases. Why change?

(I was on the pill for 8 years. I NEVER had a problem.) Taken properly, the pill prevents your body from ovulating - can't get much safer than that!

Good luck!

Click to expand...

Just spoke with a friend that is an OBGYN nurse...She said that the surgery is actually quite minor, and is done through laparoscopy, where they use a scope with one, at the most two, incisions (each less than an inch in length). This is not considered "major abdominal surgery" at all.

Surgery, no matter how minor is still a big thing...you have the risk of anesthesia to contend with.

Sati said:

Hey guys!

Thanks so much for the offered advice, and taking the time to respond to a thread that most people are skimming over.

I especially want to say thanks to Abiamarie, because that second website you gave me was very helpful and informative.

Hopefully, some other people out there will get some good use out of it, too.

Thanks again to all,

Sati

Oh! And one more thing-- I was also considering on changing form of "the pill", and going from oral to an injection. The injection seems more convenient to me, and there seems to be less room for a mistake. However, I've heard that some women's uterises actually start to -fall out- when they start taking it, and it causes major complications. Has anyone heard of this?

Click to expand...

Never heard of a uterus falling out from the injections. I took DepoProvera for over a year (took it monthly due to Endometriosis), and never had that problem...nor have I ever heard of it. My MD is very thorough and explains anything and everything that could happen due to a medication or procedure, and he never mentioned that to me. I've read up on the injectables as well, and this was never mentioned. I'd love to see where you read this....that should make for interesting reading!

Re: " the surgery"

Mstrskey said:

I will assume you are speaking of a HYSTERECTOMY or a TUBAL LIGATION as a means of rendering you sterile (even with a tubal ligation there is still a chance for you to become pregnant just not for the embryo to implant in the uterus)

If so I can assure you that the likelihood of finding a doctor who will perform one on you at 21 are virtually nonexistent, especially if it is not medically necessary.You may well change your mind about children at some point down the line and no doctor worth their license to practice will consider sterlizing you so young. There are many side effects of this surgery hun and they are not pleasant. I am 30 years old, I've had 2 children and I have endomentriosis and my OBGYN still will not consider giving me a THE SURGERY until I am at least 35.

Proper use of both bc pills and condoms will keep you very well protected. Of course they are not infallible, but the probability of them both failing you during intercourse is pretty slim.
Perhaps you may also want to try and familiarize yourself with your ovulatory cycle. Your OBGYN can help you learn how as each woman has different body signals, but by learning to predict when you are ovualting and abstaining from sexual intercourse during that time is a safe non surgical means of increasing your protection.
As has been mentioned already, find a doc you are comfortable with and sit down and talk all this out with them. It's great that you are concerned and takin measures to prevent pregnancy, but I think it would do you worlds of good to discuss this issue further w/ a professional.

Click to expand...

The stats for pregnancy following a tubal ligation are 1:300 to 1:500 will become pregnant.