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I know I will regret this..................

:rose: Take Me, Make Me :rose:

BY MISTRESS MATISSE

Ring Ring!

Me: Hello

Caller: Um, yes, is this Mistress Matisse?

Me: Yes, are you calling about making an appointment?

Caller: Yeah, sort of. I was told that I had to call you.

This is never a good beginning. When someone starts off like this, what it means is that he wants to engage in some kind of nonconsensual role-play with me. He wants to pretend that he's not calling me to book a session because he wants to, no, no. He's calling me because someone else is compelling him to. The usual line is that some authority figure has caught him being "bad" and has sentenced him to be punished—by me.

I have no problem playing that kind of game once I've talked to someone a little bit and gotten a feel for him. In fact, I rather like it—I do a great turn as the sadistic human resources director, for example. I put on a black suit, do my hair in a bun, and get a file folder full of mysterious documents that I leaf through, shaking my head. "Your job performance has been completely unacceptable, Mr. Smith, and what's this about you looking at porn on your company computer? I can see I'm going to have to take some disciplinary action here. This company has some... unconventional behavioral motivation techniques. You do want to keep your job here, don't you, Mr. Smith? Good. Bend over my desk."

Another favorite game of mine is to play "irate sex-toy store owner and red-handed shoplifter." While I doubt that the women at Babeland do this, in my fantasy world I don't call the police when I catch someone trying to steal a pair of panties or a butt plug. No, I deal with the matter personally.

But I'm not willing to start any of these kinds of role-plays first crack out of the box. I have no information about who this guy is and what he's looking for—I don't know where the boundaries are. Plus, consent goes both ways—just because I have an ad in the paper doesn't mean I'll play with anyone, at any time. It's important to establish to people I might meet that the Mistress has limits, too. So let's see if I can redirect this conversation.

Me: But you're calling me about seeing me for a session, yes?

Caller: Yes, because I have to. My ex-wife told me I had to. She told me if I didn't call you she'd take me back to court for more child support.

Wow, that's a new one. Mistress Matisse or family court, huh? Very creative. Guys who like to play this game usually say it's a female boss or coworker who's sent them, or a current wife or girlfriend. I wonder if this guy wanks off to Judge Judy. But he's not helping me out here, so let me try to be even more clear about what I want.

Me: I hear you telling me that you want to do a role-play where you're being forced to see me. That's fine, but I need you to put that aside for the moment, and talk to me outside that game, okay? Just tell me a little bit about what your experience is and what kinds of activities you're looking for.

Caller: No, really, my ex-wife is making me call you. She wants you to punish me. She's gonna take me to court if I don't come see you!

He's being very insistent about it, but I'm not buying. For one thing, I don't know a mother in the world who would let her kids go without the support she thought they were entitled to in exchange for her ex-husband getting spanked by me.

Me: You know, if I believed that was true, then I definitely wouldn't see you. I don't do BDSM with people unless they really want to play with me, and being pressured into it by your ex-wife doesn't count as wanting to play with me.

Caller: So you don't like to punish men?

Me: Only if they consent to it.

Caller: Huh. Guess I should have married you.
 
Sex firms mine riches in Web niches
Exotic and erotic thrive in shadow of mainstream sites
By Mike Brunker


While Internet dating has revolutionized courtship for the young, hetero online majority, it has had an even greater impact for those whose sexual proclivities overflow the banks of the mainstream. And businesses big and small are working hard to turn each and every one of these matchmaking tributaries — no matter how small — into rushing rivers of revenue.

Though still no match for the top general dating Web sites, the alternative or adult sector — the “naughty niches,” in the quaint words of one market researcher — has become a major matchmaking market. And like its straight-arrow sibling, it is a very profitable one.

Users say the reason for the success is simple: The sites are more important to them because their tastes are harder to match.

“I’m in a female dominated profession, I live in a bucolic setting and … running into a tall, smart, well-endowed man at my local Home Depot isn’t a reality for me,” said Marsha, a 45-year-old-plus divorcee who has met dozens of men through ads placed on adult personals sites since her decree was issued four years ago.

The problem of meeting like-minded partners is even greater if your tastes run toward leather and instruments of torture.

“It’s not like you can just go out and meet someone at a bar who’s into BDSM (bondage and sadomasochism),” said Dianna Vesta, Web mistress of Femsupreme.com and Fetishnetwork.com.

That explains why, unlike the mainstream dating sites where attracting vast numbers of eyeballs is the goal, the alternative sites aim to thrive by narrowing their focus to create like-minded “communities” devoted to an individual sexual practice or a certain demographic.

The sites run the gamut from those that might make grandma shudder — sites devoted to previously unimagined fetishes or porn-personals, for instance — to communities who might number granny among their members — such as a dating service devoted to senior citizens or a geographically based community.

Fragmentation on the fringes
The fragmentation that led to the tightly focused communities of today began early in the online personals explosion.

“When we started Friendfinder early in 1996, we found a lot of guys were posting profiles that were more risqué than we wanted on the site,” recalls Andrew Conru, a pioneer of online personals who created what is believed to be the first dating site, WebPersonals.com, in 1993. “We started out deleting them, but then we recognized the opportunity and started Adultfriendfinder.”

Today Adultfriendfinder bills itself as “the world’s largest sex personals” site, a claim apparently borne out by a spot check of alternative ad sites by ComScore Media Metrix, which said the site drew 2,321,000 unique visitors in July 2002. That dwarfs the 788,000 that the generalized Friendfinder attracted that month, as well as the numbers of other alternative sites examined at the request of MSNBC.com.

Conru, whose Palo Alto, Calif., based company has about 150 employees, also runs Alt.com, a site he describes as “adult personals for the whips and chains crowd” that gives users the ability to search for aficionados of 70 fetishes, as well as sites aimed at gays, Hispanics, Asians and seniors.

In what appears to be the most common business model in the online personals space, Adultfriendfinder allows users to register for free, which enables them to view three profiles every 24 hours. Expanded access and the ability to contact those placing ads comes at a price: $19.95 a month for a silver membership that grants access to most of the site’s features, or a “gold” membership at $29.95 that adds searching capabilities and an automated notification feature for new ads that match the user’s search criteria.

Though Conru said that Adultfriendfinder is not “a porn site with personals,” the overtly sexual tone of many of the site’s ads has made the company a target of competitors who say that alternative doesn’t have to equate with raunchy.

“I have a feeling he makes a lot of money every month … but there is no difference in my mind between what he does and what any other porno company does,” said Joe Shapira, CEO of Matchnet.com, a Beverly Hills, Calif., company that is publicly traded on the Frankfurt stock exchange.

“We stay away from nudity, lewdity and foul language simply because we want to attract people who are looking for quality, not a fast thrill,” he said of Matchnet’s eight niche dating sites, which include the leading Jewish singles site, Jdate.com, and Gay11.com, which the company says is for “relationship-minded gay men and women.”

While Shapira said the company’s conservative approach reflects “personal values” — “I’ve been in business for 25 years and I’ve never done anything that I couldn’t show my children” — he acknowledged that it is a strategy that is dictated by the company’s public ownership.

“Our business is to create value for the company, and I don’t think the financial markets would give value to a company that dabbles in pornography,” he said.

That may also explain why the leader in the online personals market, Yahoo!, attempts to steer well clear of the alternatives sector.

“We see our charge as helping to legitimize the category,” Katie Mitic, general manager of Yahoo! Personals, said in a statement in response to a query from MSNBC.com. “… We have policies in place to ensure that our service is being used by singles who are seeking a serious, meaningful relationship or dating experience.”

Such talk irritates Keith Griffith, owner of cruisingforsex.com, a hard-core personals site for gay men in search of sex without strings.

“Many sites really try hard to not make it appear that they are setting people up for sexual encounters,” he said. “America Online is essentially a meeting service for gay men who want to get off, but you’d have a hard time getting them to admit it.”

Griffith said his free site draws between 30,000 and 60,000 visitors a day even though he has “never spent a penny on advertising” since launching it in December 1995.

He said the in-your-face attitude that the site projects directly reflects his approach to sex.

“When I want to get off, I want to get off and I don’t want to play games and I don’t want to be around people who are playing those games,” he said. “I knew there were many, many people who shared that view.”

On the other hand, he said, “I’m sure there are men who use my site who are looking for long-term relationships or partners. It’s not discouraged, it’s just not our focal point.”

Labors of a lifestyle
Sites like Griffith’s and those of Vesta, the dominatrix in chief of Femsupreme.com and Fetishnetwork.com, typify those that are labors of lifestyle.

Vesta said she started Fetishnetwork as a BBS in the pre-Internet days to provide “information, resources and education” to fetishists, then began adding porn after moving to the Web.

She also set up FemSupreme, a bondage/sadomasochism porn retailer that also offers free personals and discussion forums.

Though Vesta sells subscriptions to FemSupreme, which gain access to adult material, she said she doesn’t begrudge those who come to look and post.

“The way I look at it is that it creates an interactivity that keeps the site interesting,” she said. “The ones that don’t (subscribe) still make up part of the community, they’re just not interested in stories, pictures and all that.”

Even without a huge audience, Vesta said her one woman operation is financially successful thanks to subscriptions, advertising and the twice-monthly “femdom” parties she hosts at Club Kink in Pompano, Fla.

That kind of bottom line has attracted the attention of numerous refugees from failed “dot coms” and fueled a new wave of expansion in the alternative personals market.

Typical of these newcomers is sexhookup.com, which has only been online for four months but already is attracting 300,000 unique users a month, according to Bill Wolcott.

Wolcott, who lost his job when his previous employer - the GoNorCal search engine - went down in flames, decided to try his hand at porn, opening a Net directory site. But after adding a personals component and watching traffic take off, he decided to “put the porn in the closet” and concentrate on matchmaking.

“Nobody wants to see the porn anymore,” he said with a chuckle.

Wolcott, who also operates the adultfreeway.com adult site, is gambling that he can become a player in the industry with video personals, though he admits that the innovation has so far been plagued by technical problems and encountered a lukewarm reception from the site’s clientele.

“They’re happy with it, but they’re having a hard time figuring out how to make a video,” he said.

From messaging to meeting
Users of the sites say the expansion has greatly expanded their opportunities to meet people who live in their area and are compatible.

“I think it’s much easier to get to know the real person (online), as opposed to a dance where maybe the person has pounded down 10 drinks,” said Mary, a 34-year-old swinger in Nova Scotia, referring to a local partner-swapping shindig that she and her “significant other” once attended.

“For Gary and I, it’s more quality than quantity,” she said. “We like to meet people through the Internet, then get together for coffee a few times before deciding whether to go forward. We’re into long-term things with people that we’re comfortable with.”

Marsha, who places personal ads on “vanilla” - or mainstream - sites as well as adult sites, said she has had greater success with the latter.

“I’ve met much more interesting men,” she said, numbering a college professor from Spain, a Swiss banker and a New York Times author among them.

Marsha, who said she has a background in psychology, said she gives her phone number to about one out of every 50 men who respond to her ads, which indicate she is interested in swinging as well as one-on-one encounters. Of those, she said, maybe one in 10 conversations results in a “meet and greet.”

Though she said many of her friends express fears of meeting a personals pal in person, Marsha said she has never had a bad experience, unless you count the “Italian guy from New York who turned out to be shorter and probably 30 pounds heavier than he had said.

Part of the reason for that is that the Web personals make her initial screening process much more efficient.

“After doing this for three years, I don’t waste time sharing my history and life story,” she said. “I have a copy-and-paste for the basic three paragraphs, but after that I find that moving to phoning is much better.”

The process has an added benefit in helping her screen out men who don’t fulfill her desires, she added.

“When a guy writes to me and says I’m well endowed,’ I say ‘OK, well prove it,’” she said. “Asking a man to send a frontal nude shot has been a very effective screening tool for me.”
© 2006 MSNBC Interactive
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
laughs.........OMG Shank ....put it away will you......sheeeesh
Click to expand...

I'll leave you alone (more-or-less) now over this issue dear sister...

:kiss: :kiss:



:devil: hee hee (more-or-less)
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
:eek: ummmn having issues with 'gender perception' here Shank hun .....looks concerned.

Ohhh was she painting caligraphy ?
Click to expand...

yes - the story in Pillow Book supports some wonderfully sensual scenes in the movie around kanji painting on the bodies of her lovers....

:D :D
 
Shankara20 said:
I'll leave you alone (more-or-less) now over this issue dear sister...

:kiss: :kiss:



:devil: hee hee (more-or-less)
Click to expand...


smiles deviously..........well Shank if you want the nickname Alotta Fagina ............shrugsmiles :rose:
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
smiles deviously..........well Shank if you want the nickname Alotta Fagina ............shrugsmiles :rose:
Click to expand...

Alotta Fagina ?

-well I do gender bend a little but I really don't have Alotta Fagina :D :D



running off to post some more Alotta Cocka pics on my thread,.,.,.,.,.,
 
BT-NJ said:
This is getting too wierd, even for me!! :eek:
Click to expand...

Hello BT=NJ I so agree......shakes head........that guy is going to end up with skin cancer if he continues to sunbake to the color......smiles

Welcome btw ;)
 
The Rembrandt of pulp

John Willie's bondage illustrations made hurting look so good.

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c224/rebecca000/willie.jpg​

My college roommate was Mistress Domino. She was also Carrie, a freshman from upstate New York who didn't drink or do drugs or sociology assignments. Every day after class Carrie strolled down Fifth Avenue to a club near Wall Street, where she traded her sneakers for stilettos. She lounged on a satin sofa until a stockbroker tickled her Chanel vamp toes. Then she led him downstairs to a dungeon, called him a pig and swatted his behind with a horsewhip. That was all. Or that was all she would say after my jaw dropped when Carrie first told me about her extracurricular activities.

Like Carrie, J.B. Rund makes no apologies about a fondness for flagellation. "I'm not a pervert," the Manhattan-based publisher declares in a scotch-and-cigarette voice. "So I get excited by high heels? And women tied up?"

For more than two decades, Rund has been publishing fetish art, books and cartoons in an effort to bring fetishism to the mainstream. "My friends look at these cartoons and say, 'How can you get a hard-on from that stuff?'" he says. "But they only get turned on by ladies with big knockers. If they were normal, other things would excite them as well. I'm not sick; I'm different. Thank God for pistachio ice cream; it would be boring if everyone liked vanilla!"

His idol, the subject of his latest book, is John Willie, considered by many to be the father of modern fetishism. Rund encountered the erotic art of the British illustrator and photographer as a teenager in the late 1950s. "The first time I saw Willie's work," Rund says, "I knew he was the Rembrandt of pulp."

Willie flirted with various mediums and styles, from comic art featuring flint-eyed Amazons with projectile breasts to coy damsels reminiscent of Esquire magazine's Varga girls -- only Willie's girls preferred leather gags to linen hankies.

In the 1940s, Willie created an obscure fetish magazine called Bizarre and produced four cartoon serials, of which "The Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline" was best known. He contributed to gentlemen's magazines such as London Life, Flirt and Wink -- publications with Cosmo covers that enticed readers with headlines like "Spanking for Wives" and "She Strips to Conquer." He also created private fantasy stories commissioned by mail-order customers.

Willie's real name was John Coutts. He was born to an upper-middle-class family in 1902 and flitted between London, Australia and the States, making drinking buddies on every continent, before dying in 1962.

While John Willie was a name in his day, he is obscure to most artists today, except for the fetish artists who consider him a legend. With the publication of "The Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline," a collection of Willie's life's work, Rund wanted to acknowledge what elevated Willie above other erotic artists.

"I used to just look at the pictures," Rund recalls. "But when I finally read the Gwendoline serials, I realized that Willie's humanity made him better than all the others. His characters have dignity, which is very rare in pornography."

Typically, slapstick comedy underscored Willie's serial cartoons -- with the villain Sir Dystic D'Arcy drawing Gwendoline into "spine chilling melodramas placing her in pungent peril." In Willie's "Diary of a French Maid" series and depictions of D'Arcy's upper-crusty companion, a vixenish "Countess," it's clear the illustrator defected from his bourgeois homeland. The facade of breeding and etiquette is bared; underneath their couture, the "Ma'mselle" and the Countess are sadistic nymphos. The French maid and the farm-raised Gwendoline may be wild, but they stand by their man and you can bring them home to meet Mom.

Known for his generosity, Willie was survived by some staggering bar tabs. At the Cock N' Bull, his favorite Los Angeles tavern, patrons drained their glasses when Willie arrived, confident that he'd buy the next round. Cash-strapped clients were told, "Just pay me with beer money."

Intent on seeing Willie's true legacy remembered, Rund spent years trying to get his work published. Eventually he decided to do it himself and founded Belier Press in the mid-'70s. "The Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline" sold 26,000 copies. Belier Press later published the first books about voluptuous 1950s pinup queen Bettie Page, as well as books by underground cartoonists such as R. Crumb and Art Spiegelman, creator of the "Maus" series.

While the content may have been risqué at the time, Willie colored within the lines in order to blend into mainstream publications. "He works within the cliché; he's naughty in content yet so sweet in his representation," observes California painter Whitney Cowing. "He doesn't push the boundaries artistically; Willie wants to seduce good ol' boys with an artistic style they are familiar with and a subject they have only dreamt of."

Still, Cowing maintains that Willie had a strong influence on several modern cartoonists, including John Howard, who illustrates "Horny Biker Sluts," a bimonthly comic that bookstore owners hide in the back room, away from the kiddies, because of its graphic depictions of sex ("every orifice," groans one store owner).

Willie was known for his use of conventional crosshatching and other rustic pen marks to characterize the villains and a smoother, more idealized form for the heroines. Instead of explicit depictions of sex, Willie would bob and weave with an innuendo punch, unlike certain contemporaries who depicted "some despicable acts," as Rund puts it. Willie's two-step may have been a bow to censors (some of his private drawings were far more prurient), yet Rund believes that Willie was indeed bound by morals. "Willie grew up watching silent films," Rund notes. "When he saw a woman tied up, he wanted to rescue the damsel, not rape her. In the context of Victorian melodrama, you can't defile the heroine."

Even Willie's harnesses and masks have a feathery delicacy. One illustration depicts a bird untying the laces of a high heel, and the reader almost expects Snow White to skip into the series. Willie had married Holly Anna Faram, who became his model and muse. When acquaintances first visited his apartment, a black-and-white photo of a naked woman tied to a tree greeted them. "Oh," Willie would shrug, "that's the missus."

Faram stayed in Australia when Willie decided to live in the States, but the couple remained married and Willie maintained a platonic understanding with his other models.

In the early '90s, Rund's friends encouraged him to do a second edition of "The Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline" after they observed how fetishism had infiltrated the mainstream, with Madonna's book "Sex," Manolo Blahnik stilettos and dominatrix shades in the clothing designed by Jean-Paul Gaultier. Yesteryear erotica is fashionable in the swinger/cocktail lounge set, and places like the Viper Room in Los Angeles feature a weekly burlesque routine. "Time does lend enchantment," says James Maclean of the Erotic Print Review. "The pornography of yesterday probably is the erotica of tomorrow."

Willie diluted sadomasochism's sting by drawing the Sweet Gwendoline series' villain, Sir Dystic D'Arcy, in his own likeness. Willie broke porn taboos, for the bad boy did not get the girl. "Making himself the villain and making the villain a loser was Willie's way of acknowledging his own [career] failures," Rund speculates. "Willie had certain self-esteem issues; if a woman is tied up, she can't reject you."

Rund contends Willie was the first fetish artist who illustrated only from models or from photographs he took himself. American fetish artist Eric Stanton, who specialized in illustrations of "fighting femmes" in the late 1940s and early '50s, was a contemporary illustrator also noted for his realism, but "Stanton would create a fantasy and pretend it's real," Rund says. "Willie took reality and made it fantasy. But his realism made it unique; you could imagine these things happening because the poses were real." But Rund distinguishes between proclivity and pathology. "For Willie, tying a woman up was a preference, not a necessity," he writes in the book's introduction.

"Some guys get excited by white panties but can't get excited without them. You have to control the urge instead of letting the urge control your life," Rund says. He was careful to package the book with a bow rather than a whip. "I try to present this [genre] as history," he explains. "But I don't feel a need to apologize for it. I don't pretend this stuff is about love."

It's not about hate and misogyny, either. Rund is quick to add that Willie genuinely liked women and portrayed his female characters as the brains and his males as empty brawn. "You look at bondage and domination Web sites and they're nailing tits to a table," the 57-year-old growls. "Today you tie 'em up and fuck 'em, but with John Willie you only imagined that part. If Sweet Gwendoline is alone with the villain Sir Dystic D'Arcy, another character enters the picture before anything can happen."

"What set John Willie apart was his humanity," Rund says. "There was a part of him that was still that little boy reading a fairy book and fantasizing about rescuing a damsel in distress." It was better that Willie's readers had to wonder whether the boy got the girl. "If you have everything you want," Rund says, "there's nothing to look forward to."


By Denise Dowling

Color Example of John Willies Art ~ Erotic Art with a twist Thread Post # 2084
 
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