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Hallie_Jazz said:
Morning all. Thanks for the jokes, and the replies in general.
I hope you're all well and that you had a good weekend.
Have a great Monday and keep the jokes coming
X
Click to expand...

Very "stimulating" photos, to say the least! Love the close-up of your spread legs, just leaving a bit for one's imagination. And I equally love your alluring, provocative pose in the 2nd pic.

Question: What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to both sexes, but neither are attracted to you?

Answer: Bi-yourself.


(obviously, you personally will never have to contend with that particular scenario) ;)
 
Hallie_Jazz said:
Hello,
I'm Hallie.
I'm an average Joe mum from the UK.
Have floated around this forum for years admiring and enjoying but not posting anything.
Someone tell me some jokes. The weirder the better.
Click to expand...

If that's "average" physique for British women -- I need to book a flight over asap! Love your exceptional curves and contours!

An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.
The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.”
“You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: A rip off.
 
My girlfriend told me she always smokes after sex.
I told her we should use some lube next time.

Q: What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
A: “It’s not what it looks like!”
 
My favorite kind of sex is rodeo sex. That's where you mount your wife from behind, reach under and cup her breasts, and just as you get started, whisper in her ear, "Wow, your sister is a lot tighter than you are."


Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds....
 
Q: What's the similarity between a golf ball and a clitoris?
A: They're found in a bush.

Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a clitoris?
A: Men can sometimes find the golf ball.
 
Hallie_Jazz said:
Hello,
I'm Hallie.
I'm an average Joe mum from the UK.
Have floated around this forum for years admiring and enjoying but not posting anything.
Someone tell me some jokes. The weirder the better.
Click to expand...
Just now finding this thread.

You sell yourself short. You are definitely way better than "Average Joe Mum"

Hallie_Jazz said:
Thanks for all of the kind messages and the jokes. Please keep them coming.
I just realised my OP says I'm called Callie, that's a typo. It's Hallie.

Anyway, happy Friday night. Here's one for the weekend.
Hope you're all well xxx
Click to expand...
Gorgeous shot.

Hallie_Jazz said:
Morning all. Thanks for the jokes, and the replies in general.
I hope you're all well and that you had a good weekend.
Have a great Monday and keep the jokes coming
X
Click to expand...
Red is definitely your color.

Hallie_Jazz said:
Morning all.
I hope the jokes haven't dried up.
Happy hump day. I Hope it's a good one for all of you.
Xx
Click to expand...
Oh my.... Yes please....

Sorry I don't have a joke off the top of my head. Give me a little time to think, and I'm sure something will come up (again)
 
Thanks for all the comments.
Inbef said:
Q: What's the similarity between a golf ball and a clitoris?
A: They're found in a bush.

Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a clitoris?
A: Men can sometimes find the golf ball.
Click to expand...

PapaRomantic said:
My favorite kind of sex is rodeo sex. That's where you mount your wife from behind, reach under and cup her breasts, and just as you get started, whisper in her ear, "Wow, your sister is a lot tighter than you are."


Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds....
Click to expand...

ouchfeelsgood said:
My girlfriend told me she always smokes after sex.
I told her we should use some lube next time.

Q: What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
A: “It’s not what it looks like!”
Click to expand...

Love them lol
 
Hallie_Jazz said:
Morning all. Thanks for the jokes, and the replies in general.
I hope you're all well and that you had a good weekend.
Have a great Monday and keep the jokes coming
X
Click to expand...
JOKE DEPARTMENT

How many feminists does it take to put in a light bulb?
 
JOKE DEPARTMENT

Answers re: Feminists, light bulbs

ONE!! [and this is NOT funny]
 
A penguin had to take his car for engine repair.


The mechanic told the penguin to leave his car with him and be back in an hour.


The penguin goes across the street to a carvel and orders a vanilla ice cream cone


When the hour was up the penguin went back to the garage to find out what happened to his car.


When the penguin entered the garage, the mechanic looked at him and said, "Looks like you blew a seal."


The penguin replied, "NO way, thats vanilla i!"

Great pic!
 
john_johnson said:
A penguin had to take his car for engine repair.


The mechanic told the penguin to leave his car with him and be back in an hour.


The penguin goes across the street to a carvel and orders a vanilla ice cream cone


When the hour was up the penguin went back to the garage to find out what happened to his car.


When the penguin entered the garage, the mechanic looked at him and said, "Looks like you blew a seal."


The penguin replied, "NO way, thats vanilla i!"

Great pic!
Click to expand...

Ha that's brilliant.
 
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